Must Be Felt
by FrogsRcool
Summary: Santana/Brittany. Starts out in season one explaining how Santana fell for her best friend. All the unscripted/unaired interactions between the two. I promise the story is better than the summary ;
1. Just an Accident

**A/N: Hey everyone! I decided to give it a shot at writing a Brittana fic. I am a brand new watcher of the show so I'll try to match up my story with the show as closely as possible. Of course, small things may differ.**

**Essentially this is how I see Glee from the perspective of Brittana. I hope you all Enjoy. Please leave a review to let me know what you think. :)**

**Chapter 1: Just an Accident**

"You think this is hard, try being water-boarded, that's hard!" Sue screeched at us through her signature megaphone. "That's it for today!" Our cheerleading couch yelled again in an uncomfortably high octave. Every muscle in my legs held firm from fear of quivering. I knew what happened when Sue spotted a weakness. So no matter how much my body burned I would not show it. "Maybe after you all think about how easy it would be to replace you, you'll come tomorrow a little more prepared." Frustrated and defeated, Sue tossed the megaphone onto her duffel bag.

That was our signal we could leave. I helped Brittany down from the pyramid and my muscles immediately softened. "Who does she think she is?" I huffed and crossed my arms as we marched toward the locker room. "I just pulled off a flawless back hand spring."

"Santana!" An all too familiar amplified voice drilled through my ears. "Here. Now." Sue called through the megaphone. I'd jumped so high, I was surprised I didn't let out an equally embellished scream. After my heart was able to settle back down, it quickly sunk to the pit of my stomach. _She had to have heard what I said. _

"Come on Britt." I eyed my best friend and gestured toward Sue.

"Okay." Brittany smiled, clearly aloof to my near imminent death. Her perky blonde pony-tail bounced as we both inched closer the only woman who I can honestly admit being terrified of.

Brittany and I stopped in front of Sue. Her brow cursed with the megaphone still place squarely in front of her mouth. "You!" She pointed the megaphone straight into Brittany's face. "I need to talk to you." Both Brittany and I cringed from the augmented shrill of her voice.

"Then why'd you call me over?" I snapped trying to maintain any shred of sassiness I had left after Sue Sylvester's wrath had scared it away.

"Because," Sue raised her voice, paused, and thankfully pulled the megaphone down from her mouth. "Because…" _much better_, "I didn't know her name. And I wasn't sure how well she would respond to Simpusher."

Both of us stood in awkward silence, not really sure how to respond.

"Simpson-Usher. Jessica Simpson the feebleminded simpleton. And Usher who has more moves than Patrick Swayze and the ostentatious nature of one Antoine Dodson after only a few sips of Gin. I would know, I slipped into the night club in L.A. and emptied a tiny baby bottle of _Fleishchmann _into Mr. Raymond's Shirley Temple." Sue eyes pierced straight through us, completely in awe by our inability to immediately translate _Simpusher_.

"Oh," Brittany still smiling stuck her right hand out toward Sue. "My name is Brittany S. Pierce. Pleasure to meet you."

Sue retracted in disgust. Her free hand shot out and slapped Brittany's. "If I wanted you to have a real name I would have asked. Now, down to business. Simpusher…you listen to Jenny from the block." Sue pointed at me. "Apart from Fabray, you are my top dogs. I'm counting on you to hound the rest of the cheerleaders when I'm not around. That includes forbidding them to eat if they appear a little plumper than usual. I want a winning year this year, and I will stop at nothing to get it. Leave now."

Brittany and I exchanged a momentary glance and shot off in the opposite direction. I waited till we were a safe distance away before I spoke. "Don't listen to her Britt, she treats everyone like that. At least she notices how good you are."

I thoroughly examined Brittany's face looking for any hint of hurt or resentment, but Sue seemed to have left her unscathed. Miraculously.

"It's just like you said," Brittany looked at me as we continued to walk to the locker room, "Stupid is as stupid does."

"Uh, I didn't say that." I raised an eyebrow.

"No?" She questioned.

"That's from _Forest_ _Gump_. I just told you to treat people like shit and they'll respect you."

Brittany wasn't dumb, she wasn't slow, she was just a little different, which is why I loved her. The two of us had been best friends since she'd moved here in fourth grade. She was the only person who was brave enough to hang out with me after I'd spontaneously cut off Rachel Berry's pigtail in art class.

"_Hey," the thin blonde sat next to me in the principal's office. "Why are you in here?"_

"_No reason." I ignored her and wiped the tears of frustration from my eyes._

"_Why are you crying?" She asked without hesitation._

"_I'm not." I snapped back and crossed my arms in defense._

"_I bet it has something to do with that girl who just got picked up. She kept crying and holding a braided pigtail. I told her that there were more important things to cry over and her hair will grow back. I also told her to throw away her hair, cause it was kinda creepy that's she's carrying it around. My mom made me throw away my dead hamster."_

_I laughed and wiped away a final tear. _

To say the least, it infuriated me when people called her out, or made her feel stupid. She's the most honest and sincere person I know. And over the years I'd grown protective over her, everyone knew that. Anyone who messed with Brittany would have to deal with me. Unless, of course, it was Sue Sylvester.

Our morning _Cheerios_ practice left us with plenty of time to hang out before class. The team dropped duffle bags off in the locker room, freshened up, and trickled out and into the hallways of William McKinley High School. I guided Brittany through the teeming halls and made it a point to linger in front of Noah Puckerman's locker.

"Why are we here?" Brittany looked around a little confused, because we usually spent this time digging inside our own lockers and gossiping.

"Waiting for Puck." I said simply. Students continued to braze by us, but made it a point to never actually bump us.

"Waiting why?"

"What do you mean why? He's the hottest guy in the school. I'm a top cheerleader. If Quinn is already dating the quarterback, I need something just as high on the food chain." I pulled out my cell phone to check the time. _10 minutes till class._

"I just mean, he's kind of a jerk. He kept laughing at me when I told him there was no way I could give him my head without giving him my whole body."

It took me a couple of seconds to understand the difference between what she said, and what Puckerman _meant._ The sudden realization caused my stomach to knot and cramp. The reaction by my body took me by surprise. It felt like I'd eaten something horrible and it was slowly and permanently resting inside my chest.

That was the first time Brittany's told me someone used a sexual reference to provoke and tease her. "You didn't give him anything right?" My stomach tightened even further. I was protective of her, of course, but the thought of someone taking advantage of her made me sick. Especially Noah Puckerman. It made me want to grab her by the hand and take her far, far, away from everyone.

"No…" She said slowly. "It's impossible. Do you give your head?" Brittany's laugh was childlike. It made me think of the way a lamb would laugh if someone told it that people were going to steal its fuzzy fur.

"Britt," I shushed her. "That's not what he means. You didn't hear him right."

"He said, hey Brittany," she mocked him using a deeper voice, "can you give me head?"

I closed my eyes and stared into the blackness. It was the only thing I could do to keep from freaking out. Half of me was frustrated with her. I just didn't understand why she was so naïve. For goodness sake she still believed in Santa Claus…I think. The other half of me wanted to seek and destroy Puckerman.

I opened my eyes and spotted Rachel Berry approaching. Her eyes instinctually averted mine and she swerved to the other side of the hall. But it was too late.

"Man-hands," I called out toward her. "I told you to come to school with a bag over your head so I wouldn't have to go out of my way to search for one in the cafeteria during lunch."

She ignored my remark and sped past us.

I turned back to Brittany.

"That was kind of harsh Santana." Brittany lifted the corner of her mouth and pursed her lips to one side. "I mean it's not her fault she dresses weird. She just had nobody to show her stuff."

"Whatever. Let's bounce, I'm bored already."

"What about Puck?" Brittany pointed to his locker as if that symbolized his existence. "I thought you wanted to talk with him."

"Not so much," my stomach rolled again at the thought of what he had said to Brittany. _Why was I over-reacting about this? _He's said much worse to me…done much worse to me. It had to be jealousy…for him of course.

"It's not about what I said is it?" Brittany frowned. "I don't think he likes me San." Brittany shrugged. "And I don't like him. He was just teasing."

"No it's not about that," I said, but it felt like a lie. "He's a perv and he shouldn't be talking to you like that."

"Sometimes when I kiss boys I pretend I'm kissing someone else." Her change in subject was random, but fluid. She _knew _I was uncomfortable with the situation so she moved on. Another shred of evidence that she is, in fact, far from dumb. "I have to do that in order to successfully complete my list. A lot of the guys here aren't very…" Brittany stopped. She always stopped before she said something she knew would be judgmental.

"You pretend to kiss someone else?" I questioned her. Regardless of its simplicity, the statement seemed like a legitimate solution for the guys who never really had enough _umph_. Of course, I've never had a problem with my guys in the past.

"Well yeah. You know about my rep." Brittany shrugged. "I've kissed almost every guy in the scho-"

"Britt I'm gonna stop you there." I held up my hand. No matter how many times I tried to knock her off her tracks, she seemed determined to finish her list. "You need to stop with the kissing thing."

"You told me sex makes guys do whatever you want." She frowned.

"Sex?" My voice rose. "You're having sex with these guys too?" My stomach tangled again.

"No, but kissing is like sex. Just with your clothes on." Brittany seemed convinced with herself.

"Britt-any." I segregated her name on accident after decided that this conversation deserved full attention to her entire first name. "You know what sex is, because we've had this discussion many times. Kissing is not the same as sex."

"I know. I haven't had sex." Brittany glanced around at the passing students. "I was just saying I want to be the best. And to be the best I'm kissing everyone, even if that means kissing some toads and having to pretend I'm kissing you."

"_What?" _My voice came out hushed.

Her eyes snapped open and waxed over. "I-I uh…" She sunk into herself.

"There you two are." A blonde strode next to us wearing the same exact _Cheerios _uniform. An appreciative sigh escaped my lungs for the distraction. "What did Sue want with you after practice?" Quinn tried to sound intrigued, but I could smell the jealousy on her. Every time Sue talked to me, Quinn made it a point to be either glued to my shoulder or interrogate me immediately after.

"Nothing." I shrugged and pretended to hide something. Sue wanted nothing with us that would threaten Quinn's head cheerleading position, but it was fun to make her nervous.

"Uh huh," She eyed me suspiciously and then directed her attention towards Brittany. The head cheerleader was about to question Brittany before she, faltered, thought twice, and turned her attention back towards me. Quinn may be more popular than me and therefore more _commanding_, but she knows better than to cross me. And using Brittany to get an answer that I denied her would sure as hell piss me off. "I'm going out with Finn tonight and I wanted to make it a double date."

"Two dates in one night?" Brittany chimed in. "Two in one night is super intense. I did that once and accidentally fell asleep in the middle of the movie after dinner."

"No." Quinn shook her head.

A crazy-frog lodged itself in my throat. I knew Quinn wasn't talking about me and Brittany going on a date together with her and Finn (she was talking about Puckerman and me), but Britt's recent confession had my mind doing back flips.

A heavy arm interrupted our conversation and hung over my shoulder. "Hey ladies," Puck smirked and pulled me tightly against his torso. He used his other arm to reel in Brittany and tucked her into the other side of his body.

"Off beast." I lifted his arm off me and pushed his other arm off of Brittany. _She_ wasn't available for him.

Puck ignored me and spoke directly to Quinn. "Hey party at my place tonight. I already told Finn so the double date is cancelled. Head straight there ladies."

"Fine." Quinn tightened her lips.

I watched Puck wink at Brittany and jog off to catch up with a group of football players.

"See you there tonight." Quinn spoke before she turned and walked away, leaving me and Brittany standing alone.

The halls had started to thin as students darted into classrooms, which meant class was about to start. The perfectly timed interruptions of Quinn and Puck had thankfully distracted me from Brittany's awkward comment, but the aftershock still remained lodged in my stomach. I wanted to forget what she said knowing sometimes she says things that don't make sense to anyone but her, but part of me wanted to interrogate her further. It bewildered me that she even thought of me like that. _How could she?_ We have been friends for so long. Of course we've stayed the night together, helped each other change in the locker room, cuddled on the couch while watching old television reruns, but that's always been a friendship thing. _Did Brittany think something else of it?_

"I'm excited for the party." Brittany smiled.

I couldn't help but smile back. "Same."

xxxxXXXXxxxx

School went by quickly, as it usually does. After our second _Cheerios _practice I headed straight to my house to get ready for the party, obviously taking Brittany with me.

While Brittany dug within my closet, I sat in front of my vanity and curled my hair. Wrap, clamp, twist, hold. In the mirror her reflection was bent over and unfolding piles of my jeans. I tried to focus on my hair instead of her, but I've curled my hair so many times that I don't even need a mirror to help. "Hey Britt?" I unintentionally called for her. I'd been so focused on her, watching her, studying her that I'd hadn't considered of the consequences of calling her over.

"Yeah?" She responded from the closet.

I kept quiet. It was my best option, because I didn't have a question I would ask that didn't involve her feelings towards me. I'd kept my mouth shut during all day at school, and all I had to do now was keep that up. I'd kept quiet during math class when she decided to draw smiley faces on my thigh with her gel pen, while I helped hold her up by her thigh in the pyramid, when she'd linked arms with me to walk back to the locker room, and during the car ride home.

I forced my eyes onto myself in the mirror as soon as I saw Brittany back out of the closet. She walked up behind me holding a white leather jacket that reminded me of something a biker would wear. She was already wearing a black lace spaghetti strap and a pair of shredded jean shorts. _How did she always know what to wear? _I'll even admit to asking her about outfits from time to time.

"What's up?" She spoke to me. Her hands began playing with me hair. It wasn't something uncharacteristic. We always played and braided each other's hair. Each individual finger twirled and toyed with my already curled strands.

"Never mind." I leaned forward and started putting on my eyeliner. Her fingers brushed to the end of the strand she was holding and dropped to her side when I was out of reach.

"We're going to be late." Brittany hugged the white jacket and sat back on my bed.

"There's no start time Britt." I continued to carefully apply the black makeup around my eyes, slightly relieved that she had stopped playing with my hair. After her comment today, I just wasn't sure about anything anymore.

"What are you wearing?" She asked from the bed.

"Not sure." I said.

She leaped from the bed and rushed for the closet. A little curious I spun around in my chair and watched her, until she backed out with a navy-blue skin tight dress and my black boots.

"Here," She held the dress out towards me. "You wore this once last year. It was super sexy; all the guys will go crazy."

"These heels will kill me." I acknowledged the boots in her hands.

"No way." She examined the heel. "You have to wear something that goes up higher on your leg since the dress is so short, that way it'll pull attention to your entire body. And this high of a heel will naturally make your legs flex."

"And here I thought the low cut dress was drawing attention elsewhere." I said sarcastically.

"Here let me help you get it on." Brittany reached towards me and began taking off my tank-top. Her fingers tucked under the hem and she slowly began dragging her fingers against my skin, and pulling the top with her. Again, something that wasn't unusual for us.

Without intending I shot up from my stool. "I got it." Immediately I regretted it. The look on her face stung.

Anyone other than myself would have assumed she forgot about her _odd _comment this morning, or wouldn't think she caught onto _my_ awkwardness after the comment, but I know that's not true. She'd told me something on accident, that I knew she would never admit too, and now I was acting weird about it and hurting her in the process.

Brittany just smiled and stepped back. "I'll grab some juice." She left the white jacket on my bed and skipped out of my room.

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Brittany was right. We did arrive late, which meant that everyone noticed when we walked in. I had Brittany to thank for that. I could tell everyone checking me out, and making it look like they weren't. All the attention was intoxicating, and slowly making me self-conscious. I had to find a safe place to relax. I made it a point to grab Brittany's hand and lead her through the crowd. After what had happened in my room I didn't want her thinking I felt uncomfortable around her.

As soon as we began squeezing through the bodies I smelt that oh-so-familiar drunken body smell. It was a mixture of cheap beer and _Cheetos_. Music was pulsating off of the walls and the lights were slightly dimmed. Right now the dim lights were a bit annoying, but I remember being drunk before and forcing Puck to make the room a bit sexier. His translation of sexier ended up being turn the lights down. At the time it worked in his favor…

Brittany tugged on my arm, which was a signal. She wanted me to stop and listen to something, meaning I would have to completely stop and wait till she leaned in. The music was too loud too hear anything less than a few inches away.

"Everyone's checking you out San." Brittany yelled into my ear.

I glanced around. Everyone was still checking me out…or checking us out. I suddenly became a little too aware of our situation. Two promiscuously dressed girls arrive at a party late, and holding hands. That's what they were looking at. They had to be.

Instead of yanking my hand away from Brittany, and hurting her feelings again, I dragged her to the kitchen. The living room was dense and constricting, but stepping into the kitchen was like surfacing inside a swimming pool after you'd been sitting on the bottom for three minutes. While people still littered the small kitchen, it was far better than being jammed together. I could breathe again.

Brittany released my hand and sprinted for the counter. Bottles and shot glasses stretched across the open space. I'd almost forgotten how much alcohol Puckerman had up his sleeve.

"It's like a candy store Santana." Brittany yelled back at me. Her voice was set at a higher decibel than need be. She hadn't quite adjusted to the change in scenery.

Her yelling had caused a group of football players leaning against the opposite counter to notice her. One being Karofsky. He had to be one of the dullest and oafish guys on the team. The one guy I refuse to even acknowledge.

Karofsky nudged his friends around him and pointed at Brittany. I followed his eye line and knew he was checking her out. He was watching her jean shorts slide up the back of her thighs as she reached for the higher cabinets trying to get a set of clean shot glasses. She was almost revealing the crease where her legs met her bottom.

Before I could walk over to him, distract him, and insult him, he made a bee-line straight towards Brittany. "Let me help you with that." The tall football player easily grabbed a handful of shot glasses.

"Thank you kind sir." Brittany said before looking to me and waving me over.

I noticed a flash of fear pass over him at the sight of me. He didn't run away though. He was too enveloped in Brittany to even take his eyes off of her.

"Of course." His eyes flickered down to her chest and back up to her face. "Brittany right? I've seen you cheering on the sidelines." His hand reached out and grabbed the white leather jacket she was wearing. "Biker huh?"

"Nope." Brittany looked to me as I stopped almost in between her and Karofsky. "It's Santana's. She was nice enough to let me wear it."

"Hm." I folded my arms and glared at Karofsky. Brittany may not know what his intentions are, but I sure as hell do.

His friends approached. A few more guys from the football team that I didn't recognize right away.

"Let's take a shot ladies." Karofsky said to Brittany intentionally avoiding eye contact with me.

"Lets!" Brittany jumped in excitement, now making it impossible for me to refuse his offer.

Karofsky quickly began lining up the shot glasses for all five of us giving me an opportunity to whisper something to Brittany. I leaned in close to her, clasping her shoulders, and pressed my mouth against her ear. "Britt play it cool." I pulled back.

She leaned in. "He's not on my list though." She pulled back and looked sincerely upset at my disapproval.

I just shook my head, causing her to pout even more.

A shot glass was shoved in between our faces. That wiped her frown upside down. Brittany grabbed the first glass, paused, and then handed it to me. She turned around and grabbed a second from the counter for herself.

The song changed and the bass started beating harder off the wall. Standing there, I knew exactly what was going to happen. A few too many shots and Britt and I would be dancing. It's happened numerous times before, but never before had I known what she told me this morning. I'd always danced with her just for fun, or to tease other guys. _Would dancing with her be different if I was doing it for a different reason?_

The five of us raised our shot glasses in the middle. The light brown whiskey sloshed around and almost slipped over the rim.

I tossed back the whiskey and swallowed it in one huge gulp, making sure to taste it as little as possible. My throat tightened its gag reflex and I waited to make sure the alcohol was going to stay down.

"Ugh, yuck," Brittany contorted her face. "Not like syrup."

I let out a faint laugh. The alcohol, whether it was kicking in or not, had already begun to lighten my mood. Suddenly I didn't care about Karofsky, or my awkwardness towards Brittany I was trying to get rid of.

One of the unknown football players grabbed the shot glasses from our hands and began filling them again. "Body shots are coming up later," He said to himself, but made sure we heard.

Brittany smiled and frantically clapped. I smiled too, trying to hide the rampage my heart was causing within me. We'd done body shots before, just like we had danced before, but why was I know freaking out?

My same shot glass, full again, was handed back to me. I didn't wait for him to fill the other football player's glasses, I just waited for Brittany. I winked at her and we downed our second round.

"I wanna dance San." Brittany begged me. She grabbed my hand and linked her fingers through mine.

The boys heard this and quickly interjected. "Woah, woah. Not before I make you ladies a drink." Karofsky spoke as he pulled out a pair of tall pink plastic cups from the cupboard.

The two of us watched as he poured different types of alcohol and juice in the cups. I'd never seen him work so desperately to keep me around. Usually he was running off in the opposite direction. But I didn't blame him for his current desperation, especially with what Brittany and I were wearing. Plus I'm sure he knows of our reputation. Brittany's list, and the fact that I'm not exactly _shy. _I know Puckerman talks.

Karofsky handed us each a cup after he'd poured another round of shots. My stomach turned at the sight of the alcohol. _This is going to turn out bad. _I knew it. But still I openly accepted the shot glass and downed it without a complaint, thankful for the mixed drink to chase it down. Brittany mimicked me, and chased her own shot.

We hung around the guys for at least another ten minutes talking about nothing important. I took notice each time one of them glanced at Brittany's legs or chest. There glances made me want to reach back and grab her hand, but I figured that would be a little too obvious. After we had been given our last shot, neither she nor I had the guts to reach back for each other. Well, I didn't have the guts, she may have, but she was too distracted.

"So you guys play good football right?" Brittany questioned.

I knew her question was a little peculiar, but the guys had no problem going along with it. In fact, they encouraged it. The only thing that kept me from dragging Brittany away from their wandering eyes was the fact that she looked like she was having fun. People were fascinated with her and what she had to say, or so she thought. I wasn't about to take that away.

"Yeah gorgeous," one of the unfamiliar guys spoke. "Linebacker."

"Does that mean you stay back from a line?" Brittany spoke. Her words skipped over each other, only slightly, which indicted she was getting a little tipsy.

They laughed, but only to humor her. They weren't laughing at her. It was either because I was standing right there, or they knew that making fun over her would land them no chance to _get_ anywhere with her. "Not exactly, but close." Karofsky responded.

Brittany turned to me with her face inches from mine. "I've gotta pee."

I nodded and grabbed for her hand. She smiled and we began toward the hallway after setting our empty cups on the counter.

"Ladies," one of the football players called after us. "You comin' back?"

"You'll have to find us," I smiled and winked at them. Internally I slapped myself. _What the hell Santana?_ The alcohol was definitely starting to work. I was already enough of a sober-flirt, I don't need alcohol telling me it's okay to flirt with oafs.

There high-fives echoed behind us as I pulled Brittany down the hallway. No more than two steps later, Puck jumped out in front of us. It was as if he was psychic, or at least his libido was. "Glad you made it." He leaned in towards me until his lips met mine.

At first I resisted. I still had Brittany in my hand and knew she had to use the bathroom. But the second his lips touched mine I gave in. His normal everyday Puckerman charm, plus alcohol, left me helpless. His hands grasped tightly around my waist as he pushed me back into the wall. His strong grip only intensified my desire. I knew he wanted me.

I could taste vodka on his breath. It was like kissing sexy rubbing alcohol.

His hands rubbed up and down my sides in rhythm with my breathing. I knew I was still holding onto Brittany. I was about to push him away, until he shoved his tongue into my mouth causing my knees to buckle. My lungs were dying to catch a breath of air, but his tongue forced me otherwise.

Finally, he pulled his mouth away from mine and anxiously began to kiss down my jaw and nibble around my neck. My head tilted back from impulse. I wanted to expose even more of my neck for him to play with.

I opened my eyes to notice Brittany staring at us. Her hand was still linked with mine, while she patiently waited.

Ashamed and embarrassed I pushed Puck away with my free arm.

"Enough Puck." I groaned at him.

"Oh come on you tease." His eyes never fully locked with mine, signaling he was beyond tipsy.

I hated when he called me a tease, because I knew that's what everyone called Quinn. And he knew I hated it. "Run along. I'm not drunk enough to be with you yet." I tried to insult him.

"You weren't drunk at all last night." He retorted.

He looked down to my hand that was still pressed against his chest. His eyes then began to search for my other hand. That's when he found me linked to Brittany. "He there sexy."

"Hey." Brittany said dully. Her lack of emotion wasn't because she was drunk, and it wasn't because she had just witnessed us make out. It was because of what happened this morning. She thinks I'll get mad at her if she talks to him.

"Oh you wish." I snapped. "Ella esta Buena, too hot for you." The words spilled out without a filter.

"What'd you say?" Puck smiled and leaned closer to us. I felt Brittany's hand tighten around mine.

"I'm here with Santana." Brittany said. "Both her and I don't approve of you."

I exchanged a smile with her. She always was on the same page as I was.

"Fine." Puck raised his hands in defense. "At least take a shot of _Tarantula _with me." He scurried back into a room.

We waited in the hallway.

"A real Tarantula? I don't like spiders." Brittany turned to me, making sure to leave her hand entwined with mine.

"No not a tarantula spider, _Tarantula_ _Tequila_." I corrected her. Being drunk, I actually understood where her concern came from. The first time someone had offered me _Tarantula_ I freaked out a little too.

"Tequila makes your clothes fall off." Brittany said as Puck emerged from the room with a bottle and three small Dixie cups. I knew she was quoting a popular saying, but it seemed to be directed towards me.

"Yes ladies, it does." Puck answered Brittany and handed us each an empty Dixie cup. He filled our cups, and then his, with the blue Tequila.

"Bottoms up," I raised my glass to the two of them. They followed, and I downed my fourth shot.

The _Tequila _was much better than the whiskey, so it wasn't as hard to swallow. Brittany seemed to disagree and I her hand shot up to her mouth to hold back a gag.

"You okay Britt?" I asked as I tossed my empty cup at Puck.

"Yeah," she smiled at the wall in front of us, covering up a look of disgust on her face. "I don't think I like that one."

I grabbed her empty cup and tossed it at Puck as well. "Bye." I said to him as I pulled Brittany towards the bathroom.

"Find me later when the _Tequila _kicks in," he called toward us.

The two of use squeezed through the crowd and eventually made it to a locked bathroom door.

"I forgot I had to pee." Brittany said as she jiggled the door handle.

"Hurry up!" I pounded on the shaky wood.

"Do you like him?" Brittany asked me. Her hand once again tightened around my own. It reminded me of our conversation, and of the previous awkwardness I had felt. Right now though her closeness didn't bother me. I knew it was because of the alcohol, and I knew anything she said tonight wouldn't bother me either.

"He's okay," I shrugged. It was an honest answer.

"Why do you get so possessive of him if he's only okay?" Brittany continued to interview me.

"I don't know." I was a little taken off guard by her questioning. She'd gone from asking if our last alcohol had real spiders in it, to asking me why I act a certain way towards Puck. And it wasn't something I had previously discussed with her, so she had to have noticed on her own. "I guess I just don't like things taken from me."

She tightened her grip on my hand even more. I knew she was about to ask a question that hinted something about us. Her clenching grasp around my hand signaled so. Something like, _would you like me taken away? _

Instead she said something entirely off beat, "I think I saw that gay kid here. Kurt."

I scanned the hallway, not seeing him, and then looked to her with my eyebrow raised. It took me a moment to fully take in her question. It wasn't that far off topic…in fact it stepped right into the topic more so than any other question would have.

I pounded on the door, and pretended that I hadn't understood her question. "Hurry up or-" The door swung open before I could finish. A drunk girl stumbled out and we ran in.

Brittany right away began unbuttoning her pants. I quickly shut and locked the door. _Thank goodness I was here..._

"These are too tight," She struggled to pull her shorts down.

"You've gotta hook your thumbs in first," I spoke as I walked toward her. My thumbs hooked in between the fabric and the skin of her hip. I clenched the jean shorts and only eased them down an inch, like I was loosening the cap to a jelly jar.

"Got it," Brittany followed my lead and finished getting her shorts down.

I ignored her and sat perched up on the sink, inspecting my knee-high boots. From the corner of my eye I could see her swaying slightly on the toilet. I took a mental note to limit her future alcohol consumption for the night.

"Do you got to pee?" Brittany asked from the toilet.

"Nah," I looked at her. She was having a hard time ripping the toilet paper. "Not yet."

"At least you got a dress on. It'll be easy to pull up later." Brittany smiled when she finally ripped more than her fair share of toilet paper off the roll.

"Let's go dance?" I suggested before I could fully process what she had said. Plus, dancing sounded fun and I knew it would keep her away from alcohol for a little.


	2. Frazzled

**Chapter 2 : Frazzled**

It took Brittany a little bit longer than normal to pee and get her pants situated. I even had to help her with the top button, because her fingers kept slipping off the metal. She washed her hands and leaned into the mirror to primp the makeup around her eye.

"Ready Britt?" I tried to urge her knowing that if she was already drunk enough to have trouble getting her pants back on, she probably shouldn't be messing with her makeup. "Your makeup looks good."

I hopped down from the counter and in turn swayed back and forth from the alcohol in my system. _If I was drunk enough to feel like I was standing on a balancing beam, I probably shouldn't be wearing these heels._ I couldn't believe we'd only been here for maybe an hour and both of us were tipsy. It goes to show that if you dress slutty enough, getting alcohol from guys won't be a problem.

"Ready." Brittany leaned back.

I yanked open the bathroom door to find a small line of pissed off and impatient looking drunks. They're faces reenacted my prior impudence when waiting to use the bathroom, but only for a brief second. Once they noticed it was me who had been hogging the bathroom their glares quickly dissolved. Everybody knows better than to even remotely cross the drunk version of me.

We both pushed out of the bathroom simultaneously. I'd taught Brittany that you'll never get anywhere if you wait for people to move. So we both pushed through the line and weaved our way back down the hallway and towards the kitchen.

Just ahead of us a familiar couple was leaning against the wall. It was Quinn, wearing her telltale summer dress and cardigan. She was on her tiptoes whispering something into her boyfriend Finn's ear. _How does she get the most popular guy in school wearing that prude-schoolgirl outfit?_

"Hey," Brittany interrupted their conversation, "Don't let Puck give you the blue spider juice."

Quinn pulled away from her quarterback boyfriend to acknowledge us. She plastered her disapproving face on before responding. I was never sure whether this look disapproved of us dressing slutty, or of us dressing hotter than her. "So you guys made it. It's about time."

"Hey Brittany. Hey Santana." Finn smiled and gave us a pathetically dorky wave.

And then Brittany waved back...

I still didn't see how he could choose _Quinn _over me. Nobody else chose _her _over what I offered to give them.

"It takes a little longer to dress hot." I looked down to check myself out. "You must have been the first one here." The alcohol was encouraging my attitude though it wasn't something out of character for me to say. I had to assert my position with Quinn or she'd walk all over me.

"No." She said and paused before she spoke up again. "It's just so contradicting how it takes you so long to put on hardly any clothes that only take seconds for guys to take off."

I huffed at her remark. It was actually impressive for her.

Brittany responded before I could. "It took me awhile to get these pants down. They're really tight, Santana had to help."

Quinn responded with a short, breathed, laugh.

"Callate la boca Polly Pocket," I stepped towards Quinn.

"Hey now." Finn interjected. "We're all good friends." He said this as he protectively pulled Quinn closer to him. Finn knew my reputation just like everyone else. He knew I wasn't afraid to get a little more that catty.

"We're not really that good of friends with you Finn," Brittany shrugged her shoulders.

I laughed, but not because I was trying to be cruel. It was because I was drunk and suddenly Brittany's wacky remarks were hilarious. Both Finn and the head cheerleader exchanged a look of uncertainty.

"You guys are already drunk?" Quinn concluded, as if that explained my bitchyness and Brittany's not-so-unusual behavior. "That's classic. Way to uphold the _Cheerios _reputation. Now what is everyone to think of us with you two setting such a good example?"

"That we're hot." Brittany said first.

"Exactly. I'm not so sure what you expected cheerleaders to act like when you signed up for the squad. That we'd all follow you're example after _Celibacy C_lub?" I used my fingers to quote celibacy. That stupid club was a joke, but for some reason, Quinn required that I attend the meetings. We would all just sit around and talk about how much we could torture guys. Quinn was the only one who did what she preached.

"I like those meetings," Brittany smiled at Quinn. "It's all about the teasing, not the pleasing."

"Oh please Britt," I shot her a suspicious look. I knew she hadn't had sex yet, but she's definitely fiddled with the idea. And the amount of boys she has fiddled with almost equates to having sex. And, I didn't like her siding with Quinn even though I knew she wasn't intentionally doing so. "You get around more than a bunny rabbit in heat. You like seriously need your own personal _Trojan_ horse to get you around town."

Everyone paused at my remark. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Finn's jaw drop a little. I'd said it without wanting too. It was the one characteristic I hated about myself. If someone, even someone I care about, hints at making me upset I'll snap at them like a stiff rubber band.

"Wow," Quinn mocked me. "At this rate nobody is going to want to be around you Santana. Well, excluding all the people who want to get into your pants."

"I wanna be around you," Brittany smiled at me, and completely tossed back and ignored my insult. She knew I didn't mean it. I never meant it. _Or was she again hinting at something? Did she indirectly respond to Quinn's comment?_

Brittany grabbed my hand and pulled me away. It felt good to rub that in Quinn's face. Quinn may be head cheerleader, and the most popular girl at school, but at least I have a real friend. She just has people who follow her around.

"Sorry Britt," I yelled out to her. We scathed against a wall as Brittany tried to remain balanced when we squeezed behind a group of _Cheerios. _

She just turned around and shrugged. I was never sure whether that was her way of telling me _it didn't matter, _or _that hurt but I forgive you. _

By now the alcohol was definitely taking its toll. Four shots and one mixed drink in less than an hour is actually pretty impressive for me. It's a little rushed, but that's all for the better. It gives me more of the night to do whatever I want without worrying about finding my drink.

Brittany stopped abruptly just before entering the living room, causing me to run into the back of her. My reaction time was slowed, my speech was unedited (more so than usual), and I was itching to dance. I could sense everything happening around me, I just didn't have the willpower, or current brain capacity to interpret it. The music was vibrating through my body, Brittany's hand was tightly grasped around my wrist and Puck was dancing with someone else…_What the hell!_ I didn't give him the brush off in the hallway, so he could brush up against some hooker.

Brittany let go of my wrist and held up a finger _saying, I'll be right back. _I wanted to keep an eye on her, but I was too engulfed in fury. I couldn't believe Puck was grinding up against someone else only minutes after he had tried to fornicate with me.

I stormed through the dancing bodies. No way in hell was he getting away with this. "Hey!" I yelled over the music and lightly slapped the side of his neck.

Puck caught on after his sluggish focus finally noticed me. He looked like he didn't even know he was dancing with some hooligan. I turned to the girl and gestured for her to beat it. She quickly obliged.

My hands clasped on the side of Puck's face and I pulled him down to my level. "What the hell was that?" I yelled into his ear.

He wrapped his arm around my back and pulled me into him. Just when I thought he was going to answer I felt his lips around my ear. My body sunk further into his. _Now that's more like it._

I knew we were off beat, but the music wasn't my main concern right now. I was more concerned with his tongue tracing small circles around the skin just below my ear. The alcohol had numbed my feelings somewhat, which only made me dig my nails into his back searching for the normal sober tingly feeling he usually gave me.

Our bodies moving together turned me on even more. I liked people knowing and seeing I was with him. It gave me power. It showed them I could take what I wanted, when I wanted, from whoever I wanted.

His fingers played with the bottom of my dress until his palm wrapped around my thigh. As he nibbled at my neck his hand slowly eased its way up. I could feel my stomach wind in anticipation. The instant he grabbed the lace of my underwear, I grasped the situation. Like that time I suddenly realized I'd forgotten to put on my _spankies_ when leaving the locker room after _Cheerios _practice. I may like to assert my dominance in front of everyone, but I didn't want to give anyone a show they weren't entitled to.

My hand shot for his and pulled it out from underneath my dress. He groaned in disappointment against my neck. "Come on!" He spoke into the side of my face, clearly too drunk to find my ear. "You came to me." He pulled me tighter against his chest. My body was flush with his.

I was about to give in completely before we rotated and I saw something that made me instantly sober. Brittany was stripping down in the kitchen with the three football players from earlier gawking at her.

Taking Puck by surprise I was able to squirm out of his grasp. I bolted away from him quicker than I could have ever thought possible. My sober mind frame was instantly stripped away as I was struggling to get through the crowd without running into every person imaginable. I cut through a couple making out, bumped into the back of some girl, and pinched between two couples talking to each other over the music. It was like playing the human version of pinball.

Brittany placed my leather jacket on the counter top. The guys surrounding her all silently cheered. Her hand reached for the bottom of her lace tank top. Slowly she started to tug it up her stomach and reveal her tanned skin.

I surfaced into the kitchen for the second time that night. I knew my intoxication was peaking, because my brain was lagging. It forgot to tell me to stop. I ran into the back of Karofsky causing him to drop his cup. The plastic cup clattered to the ground and everyone snapped their attention towards me. Most importantly, Brittany stopped undressing.

_Wait…what the hell am I doing? _I've seen Brittany reveal herself at parties before and I've never come running in to stop her. _Why do I care now? _If it weren't for running into Karofsky and drawing everyone's attention towards me, I would have quickly ducked out and left. Brittany is free to do whatever she wants.

"What's wrong San?" Brittany looked at me.

"Uh…" I could feel everyone's eyes trying to decipher my actions. "I tripped." I stuttered.

Brittany walked over to me and used her hand to rub my back. "You alright?" You look a little frazzled."

_Frazzled? _

Karofsky ignored my thundering entrance into the small of his back and began filling another round of shots.

Brittany turned her back to the football players and spoke only to me. "Hey," her hand reached down and grabbed the bottom of my dress. My heart froze. Puck's hand replayed through my mind, except now I was imaging _her_ hand doing the same thing. Instead she slowly and carefully pulled down my lifted dress. I hadn't noticed it was bunched up till now. "What happened?" Her drunken eyes thoroughly scanned mine.

"Nothing." I tried to play it off.

My eyes wandered over to Karofsky and the other football players. They were all enthusiastically whispering to each other. _Did they seriously think they had a chance us? _My eyes rolled and wandered back down the hallway. Quinn was staring at us. I must have gotten her attention with my fanatical entrance. She looked a little concerned. I knew Quinn, deep down (in the depths of an abandoned infinite cave) cared about us. We've been _friends_ far too long for her not to care. But it still always surprised me to see her look of disapproval be replaced with her look of concern. As soon as I made eye contact with her I pulled my gaze away. No way in hell did I want her thinking I needed her help. Instead I focused my eyes back on Brittany. She was still inspecting me and apparently trying to psychically yank my thoughts out of my brain.

My eyes unintentionally caught the black lace strap of the tank top on her bare shoulder. I couldn't stop my eyes from getting entwined in the lace and following it down her body. It clung over her collarbone and swooped across her chest. Just peeking through the lace I could see her bra. A bra that I knew had its own fair share of lace.

I'd almost forgotten how good of a body Brittany has. I've always been jealous…_Scratch that. _I'd just acknowledged how good of a body Brittany has. The entire night the jacket had been covering her and forcing everyone to either wish she would take the jacket off and reveal what's underneath, or gape at her legs. Now without the jacket, I didn't know what to do or look at.

"San?" Brittany grabbed my face and pulled it up from her chest. Her hands on my face slapped me out of my thoughts. "Are you sure nothing's wrong? You look super drunk."

I just nodded for fear of opening my mouth and saying something stupid.

She let go of my face and dropped her hands to her side. The loss of her contact once again yanked me back to reality. _What the hell am I doing? _I'm going to freak her out. Thank goodness she interpreted the fact that I was checking her out as me being drunk. And I _am_ drunk. I'm drunk and acting impulsively because _she _told me something this morning that ignited a match inside my mind. _She _had planted a stupid impulsive seed in my brain, causing me to act awkward and _now_ act…different.

I couldn't help but feel like she knew what was going to happen. Like every off-beat sentence or action she had, had an ulterior motive. _Wait! Stop. _I'm thinking crazy thoughts. We're best friends.

"Do you want to leave?" Brittany asked me another question after I didn't respond to the last one.

"What?" I jumped in. "No. No. I'm fine."

She squinted at me, trying to see something that I wasn't saying. "Okay." She said.

"Ladies!" Karofsky interrupted us. His hands pushed another shot into our faces. "Cheers."

I grabbed the shot knowing it wouldn't be hard to take it. All the alcohol before had completely numbed my gag reflex. Something Puck picked after a few months.

Brittany hesitated. The entire night she had been taking shots without a moment's pause, but now she was looking to me for an answer.

I just shrugged and took the shot. And like I predicted, it was easy to swallow. Brittany followed after me, taking her shot without a problem.

Karofsky wrapped his ogre arms around me and pulled me into his body causing the alcohol to slosh around inside my body. I didn't resist his touch, because I didn't care.

I remained tucked in Karofsky's jacket while everyone talked. My eyes would occasionally dart over to Brittany. Her hands had begun touching the other football players as she talked to them. She even would put her hands on Karofsky's arm when she spoke to him. It meant she was testing the waters, seeing if they were interested.

I just stayed quiet. Another thing I wasn't known for. I guess tonight is full of surprises.

But I had reasons behind me peculiar actions. I hid in Karofsky, because I wanted to hide from Puck. I didn't want him dragging me away. I knew the second he put his hands on me we would be running to find an empty bedroom. And for some reason, some insane reason, I didn't want to leave Brittany.

And I kept quiet, because I was confused. Drunk and confused as to why all of a sudden I wanted to keep my eyes glued to Brittany.

Before I knew it, Karofsky pulled me away from the group. I hadn't been paying attention. Or I had, but the alcohol had slowed my reactions. My feet slid along with him as he walked me up to a counter.

More alcohol. He pulled his arm off of me and began pouring another shot. I closed my eyes and swayed. "Half of a shot." I raised my hand at him trying to slow him down.

"Only half?" He laughed and placed the two _full _shots on the counter. "Wow. Didn't think you'd puss out so quickly."

And this is why I hated Karofsky. _Why had I let him put his arm around me? _"You're kidding me right? Get away from me before I rip you nads off and feed them to Brittany's uncle's goat." I grabbed on shot with my left hand, drank it, and grabbed the second shot without blinking. I downed the second shot before he could make another remark about me.

I had to hold my breath in order to keep the alcohol down. My balance wavered forcing me to take a compensating step backwards. My foot caught me, but Karofsky's hand shot up to my back to help support my weight.

"Nu uh." I slid the shot glasses back on the counter. "Get your hands off me." I pushed him away.

I turned toward where Brittany was, waited till the room caught up with me, and froze when I realized she was gone. I began to panic. My chest cramped and stomach knotted. She left with one of them. I stormed over to the remaining football player.

"Where'd she go?" I snapped at him.

"In the back." He pointed toward the hallway.

I took another longer than usual step towards the hallway. My body pulled me farther than normal and I collided with the counter. It took only a second for me to get back on my course.

"Santana." Someone said my name in the hallway. A hand even touched my shoulder. I thought it was Brittany, until I looked up to reveal it was only Quinn. At least she wasn't with lanky-McGumby boyfriend. "Maybe I should take you home."

She had stopped me from walking, but my mind hadn't quite caught on yet. I rocked and hit the wall. Her hand clasped tightly around my bicep and held me steady.

"I'm fine." I tried to shove her off, but she remained persistent.

"You're not fine. You keep hitting things and soon enough you're going to start acting like one of those crazies from _The Bad Girls Club."_

"Where's Finn?" I asked her.

She didn't respond until she assessed my intentions and determined my motives weren't to take him away from her. "He left." She tried to hide her hurt.

"Told you. Boy is pathetic." I stammered out.

She didn't try to disagree, which surprised me a little.

"I can drive you home." She said it again.

Yeah right. Like I was going to leave now. Things were just getting good. "Thanks, but…no. I need to find Britt. Where'd she go?"

"Why?" Quinn scoffed. I felt a little guilty for unintentionally rubbing my friendship in her face, again. I'd blatantly shot down her kindness and replaced it with concern for Brittany. Again I had proven that she _doesn't_ have a best friend.

I ignored her question and continued back down the hallway. There was only two bedrooms back there, so it wouldn't take me long to find her. I flung open the first bedroom door to find it empty. I called for her just in case. "Brittany." I yelled into the empty room.

Nothing.

I left the door open and headed towards the second bedroom. Puck's room. The thought of Puck being in there almost stopped me. If he was in there, he'd either force me to stay, or be in there with someone else.

But I flung his door open only to find another empty room. I didn't bother calling her name this time. I knew she wasn't in there.

I spun around in the hallway. Quinn was still standing where I'd left her, but now Puck was next to her. It took all my willpower to keep from barreling down the hallway and tackling her. How dare she talk to him. But I stood my ground. I was still looking for Brittany and I can't afford any distractions.

Puck was holding a pack of wine coolers. He handed one to Quinn after opening it for her. _Pathetic. _I'd just taken God knows how many shots and here she is drinking alcohol you put in a sippy cup.

The bathroom door opened and Brittany stumbled out. The first thing I noticed was that her pants were unbuttoned. My mind was stuck in limbo. _Had she been peeing? _Or, _had she been in there with that football player?_

My question was answered just as the football player walked out from behind her and strode back toward the kitchen. He cut in between Quinn and Puck, causing Quinn to look our way. She saw Brittany trying to fix her pants, and me standing at the end of the hallway almost in tears. When before I was furious, now I was thankful that Puck had Quinn distracted enough to keep her from approaching us.

Brittany looked up from her unbuttoned pants and spotted me. "San." She smiled and walked toward me.

I wanted to duck into Puck's open room and slam the door in her face, but that would be unfair to her.

_Why did I care? _It frustrated me that I cared. That's why I was struggling to hold back tears. I was irritated that it bothered me now, when before I could have cared less if she went in the back with some guy. In fact, I probably would have encouraged it.

"That was nothing like you described." She stopped in front of me.

I tried not to think about what she said.

"Why are you crying?" She stopped. "What happened? Is it Puck?"

I just shook my head. I knew if I spoke the stray tears that I had let leak out wouldn't be able to stop. I just had to hold my breath for a few more seconds and I would be fine.

She used her hand to rub up and down my arm. It helped.

"Sorry," I wiped away the final tear. I looked down to notice her pants were still unbuttoned. Frantically I fixed that for her. "Let's dance."

She smiled and grabbed my hand. We made it to the living room and before I knew what was happening we were dancing.

I pulled her closer to me, but didn't hold on for long. I didn't want it to remind me of dancing with Puck. I knew he was back in the hallway flirting with Quinn. If I reminded myself of him I might be tempted to head over there with Brittany, and right now I wanted to dance.

Brittany thighs hugged mine. We'd danced close before, but this was a little close for us. Her hand rested against my side as we moved. Slowly she pulled me closer to her. I closed my eyes and when I opened them my face was tucked into the crook of her neck. My lips were so close to her skin.

We moved with the music and, in contrast with earlier, I didn't care if people saw two girls at a party unusually close to each other. I used my hand and placed it on the opposite side of her neck.

Karofsky and the football players from earlier caught my attention. They were watching us. I could see them leaning against the living room wall and staring at every move we made. They watched my hand trace from Brittany's neck, down her side, and rest on her hip. They watched as Brittany dipped and slowly moved back up my body. And they watched as my other hand clenched around the bottom of her tank-top and used that as leverage to pull her again closer.

The song switched and Karofsky and the football players walked straight toward us.

"Hey," one of the football players yelled at us. The one that had walked out of the bathroom with Brittany. "Can I join?"

"Fuck no." I grabbed Brittany by the waste and moved her until I was fully in between her and him.

"How about that body shot you promised?" He didn't falter after I had rejected him.

"You _aint _taking no damn shot off of us." I said.

"Not a problem." He smiled. "You guys do the shot."

Brittany grabbed my hand and we were headed toward an open space. Apparently, I must have agreed. I couldn't remember.

Karofsky already had a bottle and Brittany had pulled off her black lace tank top. _Great. _All that effort earlier to make her keep it on, and I was the reason she was taking it off.

I'm not sure who, or how we decided to do this, but Brittany was leaning against the wall with her head tilted back. I was straddling her legs. Karofsky held a bottle near the bottom of her throat.

A small stream beaded down her chest. It slipped underneath the small strap that was clasping her bra together and reached me. I started my tongue just above her pants and slowly licked upward. The alcohol tasted like nothing. It was like licking up water. I was more focused on the sensation of my tongue running up Brittany's body.

I saw her shiver, which made me slow down...

I reached the spot in between her boobs and made it a point to lick underneath her bra clasp. As soon as I reached her collarbone I pulled away and had to hold onto Brittany to keep from falling back. I noticed her head was no longer tilted back, but her eyes were locked on me.

"Don't forget the salt!" Someone yelled from behind me. I guess we had an audience.

They had put salt on her bottom lip. Even through all my drunkenness, I could feel my heart stampeding. But I didn't hesitate. I leaned back into her and used my tongue to lick the salt from her lip.

xxxXXXxx

"Santana? Can you sit up?" Someone spoke to me.

I didn't know who or why someone was asking me such a stupid question. Of course I can sit up. I opened my eyes and saw the back of a car seat. My arms were wrapped tightly around someone's lap and I was resting my head on torn jean shorts.

A hand was petting through my hair.

"Should I just take you to your house Brittany?" A different voice spoke from the front.

"Yeah that's fine." Brittany responded. I was lying on Brittany's lap. I must have blacked out. The last thing I remember was…_Brittany_. "Do you think she'll become a vegetable?" Brittany asked the girl in the front.

"She'll be fine." The girl responded. It was Quinn. "You live in that house?"

"Yup." Brittany said. Her fingers went from running through my hair to tickling the back of my neck.

The car stopped, which meant we must have pulled into a driveway.

I'm not sure how we got upstairs into Brittany's room, but I was sitting on her comforter. Pink was everywhere, but not in a creepy Rachel Berry sort of way. It was a soft pink that only highlighted the naïve-nature of Brittany's personality, because she's neglected re-designed her room since she was little.

"You look hot Santana, even though you're wobblin' like a weeble-wobble." Brittany said from across the room.

"You're drunk." I was surprised I could talk. My eyes were heavy, my mouth was numb, and my body was exhausted. All I wanted to do was sleep.

"Not as drunk as you." Brittany approached and sat on the bed next to me. Her hand rested on my thigh. More than anything I just wanted to put my head back in her lap and fall asleep.

"I didn' mean comment 'bout you being rabbit in heat," the sentence was too long for me to include all the necessary words.

"It's okay. I like how defensive you are. You always stand up for me. And if I have to deflect a few remarks that's okay. Deflector shields up." She slid off the bed and crouched in front of me. Her hands were helping tug my boots off.

"Did you imagine you were with me when you were in the bathroom with him?" I said this a little louder than a whisper. It came out before I had time to decide if it was a good idea to ask the question.

"For a little." Brittany responded without hesitating. It was either her carefree attitude, or intoxication that allowed her to answer honestly. "But we did more than kiss."

"I figured." I wanted to cry, but I forced myself not too. I didn't want to ruin the night with my crazy hysterical sobs. And I didn't want to ruin Brittany's _first _time.

"We should get you changed. Unless you wanna sleep in that dress. I imagine it would be like sleeping in a cocoon of cellophane. Like a leftover hot dog."

Brittany stood up and slid the straps off my shoulders. She helped me up and began pulling the dress down. I covered my chest. For the first time I felt uncomfortable being topless around her. And she quickly picked up on this.

"Want the Mufasa shirt?" She turned her back to me and left me standing in nothing but my underwear.

She dug with her dresser and I didn't respond, which meant I didn't care.

She turned around with the over-sized t-shirt and stepped in front of me. I had yet to pull my arms away from my chest. "I'm glad you didn't stay with Puck." Brittany said as she slid the grey t-shirt over my head. She didn't ask me to move my arms. She only helped me pull them through the arm holes once I had the shirt on.

"Me too." I looked down at Brittany's lip. _Would it be weird to kiss her?_

Brittany must have noticed, because she didn't step back after we got my shirt on.

My hand reached up and rested against her neck. The same spot I had put my hand on when we had been dancing. But my touch felt clumsy. "You are an amazing friend." I said. It felt weird be so close to her, almost intimate, and talking about friendship.

"You too." Her smile slowly turned into a frown. "Except I accidentally forgot your jacket at Puck's house."

"It's 'kay." The room began to spin a little. "I leave clothes there all the time."

My thumb faintly rubbed the skin of her neck.

"You can kiss me whenever you want." Brittany spoke and interfered with my plot. I had been trying to figure out how to do so without making it awkward.

I nodded my head, but didn't move. I was too scared.

Brittany grabbed my shoulders and led me toward her bed. The comforter was already pulled back and ready for me to crawl in. I plopped down on the pink sheets and immediately fell asleep.


	3. Lie

**A/N: Thanks everyone who reviewed again! It's my favorite part of writing a story! :) So this chapter took me awhile to do. And I kept changing things as I went. My goal was to get through the first two episodes. Things should follow pretty closely, BUT some things are a little different (for example the days). Please review. Oh and for those of you who have been waiting for the first kiss...**

**Chapter 3 : Lie**

The following morning went on without a hitch despite the previous night's craziness. Both Brittany and I acted like nothing had happened. I woke up curled up next to her, normal, showered at her place, normal, and grabbed a spare cheer uniform I always kept at her place, normal. Our indifference was perfectly fine by me, because when it comes to any type of relationship issues I'd rather not acknowledge them. I don't like to deal with feelings. Let alone the confusing feelings I may or may not have for my best friend.

Morning _Cheerios_ practice passed, classes flew by, and now I was waiting with Brittany outside the gym for round two of _Cheerios _hell. Afternoon practices always seemed to be a little more intense.

"Hey Puck," I greeted him as he walked up to me. "Heard you were chatting up the town virgin last night. God, you are getting desperate." I smirked at him.

"Who, Quinn?" He laughed. "I'd have better luck with the Pope."

"What's with the slushie?" Brittany acknowledged the red _Icee_ Puck had clenched in his hand. "It looks like you murdered a snowman."

I gave a questioning look to Brittany before turning back to Puck.

"I was thinking about throwing it on that Rachel girl. She's over there signing up for Glee Club."

I let out a laugh to encourage him. I'd never spend the dollar and nineteen cents to humiliate Rachel Berry, she wasn't worth it, but I wasn't going to pass up an opportunity to watch someone else do it.

Puck turned and left. Just as Rachel finished signing her name Puck flung the slushie all over her. The red ice slapped her face, her outfit, and splattered the back wall behind her. It was empowering to watch and to know she saw me watching…

I didn't speak until she stormed off into the bathroom. "That sucks. She's going to have sugar in her hair for the next week. At least now she won't smell like broccoli."

"What's Glee Club?" Brittany asked completely oblivious to what happened.

"It's a club for losers who like to dance and sing." I began leading Brittany towards the gym door entrance.

"But we like to do that stuff. You're really good at singing."

I took a moment to think of a response. You'd never catch me saying this out loud, but Glee Club would probably be fun if it wasn't a high school death sentence. I was good at singing and dancing. So was Brittany. She was an extraordinary dancer. It came so natural for her.

Brittany spoke again. It sounded like she was actually trying to convince me to join. "I'm super good at dancing. Even Sue said I was good. And last night when we were dancing everyone was staring at us."

I'd gone an entire twenty minutes without thinking about it, and here goes Brittany rubbing it in my face. "Britt." I stopped. "They were staring, because the hottest girls at this school were _gettin jiggy _together." I emphasized _gettin jiggy _knowing that _grinding _would be a better word choice. "It was just a dance."

"I know." She retracted.

"Well you need to drop it. I was drunk. That's all." I hissed at her. I felt bad for being snippy, but it terrified me that she would accidentally blurt something out in front of someone. We hadn't done anything too scandalous, if you exclude the erotic dancing and shirtless body shot, I just didn't want to deal with covering it up or telling someone to fuck off, if and when she did happen to mention it. It was hard enough keeping people from gossiping about me and Puckerman, I didn't want to have to deal with my Brittany escapades as well.

"Sorry."

I didn't say much to her during practice. In fact, I didn't say much to her for the next few days. I made it a point to hang out with Quinn. It's not like I was intentionally ignoring Brittany, I just didn't wait up for her. But it felt weird not having her glued to my side. The same weird feeling you get when you know you forgot to take something important with you and you can't figure out what.

Quinn approached me at my locker. I could tell she wanted to say something about Brittany's absence these last couple of days. She knew it wasn't a habit of mine to avoid Brittany.

"We never got a chance to talk about Puck's party." Quinn leaned against a locker.

"Because there's nothing to talk about." I slammed the door. Maybe if I acted pissed off I would scare her off the topic.

"Yeah there is." She continued. "You got a lot drunker than you normally do. And now you're not hanging out with Brittany. Did something happen?" Quinn crossed her over her chest.

"No." I scoffed. "And why are you all of a sudden concerned about me?" It made no sense. Usually Quinn did everything in her power to make me look less popular, pretty, and privileged than her. Now she was trying to consul me and help me with my friendship.

"Are you and Puck still together?" She asked.

"We were never _together. _He's something I use when I get bored." I paused. "And Britt and I are fine." _Lie_.

"Fine." Quinn shrugged. "Oh. My. Goodness!" Quinn's eyes had spotted something over my shoulder.

I jerked around expecting to see something wild. _Projectile vomit, someone giving birth...Brittany undressing again. _But it was just Rachel...which I suppose is something horrible in itself. She was talking to Finn. _Seriously, is everyone taking crazy pills? _

"I can't believe this!" Quinn spat. "What is he doing talking to that dwarf?"

Before I could respond we were stomping towards the duo. "Hi, Finn." Quinn looked to Rachel. "RuPaul." She looked back to Finn. "What are you doing talking to her?"

Finn remained with a flustered dumb look on his face, so Rachel answered for him. "Science project. We're partners."

"Christ Crusaders tonight at five. My house." Quinn didn't even acknowledge Rachel.

"Sounds great." He smiled.

We both shot Rachel a threatening stare before walking away. I'd wanted to say something, but I felt off my game. Brittany's last comment about me being a little harsh towards her kept replaying through my mind.

"I bet the science project involves finding a way to rid her of her beard." Quinn spoke as we continued down the hall. When I didn't answer Quinn continued. "What's up with you? Seriously, you're not even taking the time to relish in a good round of Rachel Berry insulting."

"Nothing." _Lie_. "Let's just get to class."

xxxxXXXxxxx

I forced myself to sit by Brittany in class. If I had moved it would only have made things worse and I couldn't stand another being around Quinn for any longer.

Surprisingly Brittany didn't act different towards me, which made me feel even guiltier than I already did. I'd been dodging her for the past few days and here she is acting like everything's just peachy.

In order to compensate for my guilt I opened up to her about something I normally would have told her within seconds. Sue was making me and Quinn come with her to spy on Mr. Shue's Glee Club. It was an offhand, random, fact, but it felt good to say something that really had no meaning behind it. It was something that gave me a reason just to talk to Brittany.

"Oh so you get to watch them sing!" Brittany said a little too enthusiastically. "I wish she hadn't forced me to run till I puke after practice tonight. Maybe I could have gone."

"What?" I hadn't remembered Sue saying anything like that.

"When she asked me to iron all the spare _Cheerios _uniforms I told her that I didn't know where to get a golf club."

I laughed at her comment, which consequently got me a strong look of disapproval from the teacher. Where some people might think Brittany's a little airheaded, I think she just thinks really far outside the box.

"Wanna come over tonight. I'm buying a lot of candy and planning on eating it all." Brittany smiled and leaned in.

My mood downcasted. I had promised Puck I would stop by. I haven't seen him since the party, and by _seen _I mean _slept with. "_Sorry Britt Britt, I gots me a date with Puck."

"Oh," she shrugged and turned her head away. She looked to be staring out the classroom window at passing cars. She turned back. "That's okay. I'll go in a chocolate coma by myself."

Every impulse in me was screaming to take it back and agree to go over to her house tonight. But I _had _to go over to Puck's and wash away all this confusion. He would set me straight.

The bell rang and we gathered our stuff. "I'll see you tomorrow Britt?" I asked instead of stated. It hadn't intended to come out as a question, but I had spoken before I could stop it.

She just nodded and smiled.

I went through the motions at _Cheerios _practice, left Brittany to run her laps, and headed to the auditorium to watch the Glee Club. I was unexpectedly impressed. At first I wasn't exactly sure why Sue wanted us to spy, but if anything it made me a little jealous. While I worked my ass off every day at _Cheerios, _these Glee losers got to sing and dance. What really pissed me off was the fact that Finn, quarterback and dating the most popular girl in school, was down there. _How come I couldn't be down there?_

I showed up at Puck's around ten. A good twenty minutes with him and all my stress would be relieved. Sue ended up preaching to us about _Cheerios vs. Glee Club _for over an hour. About how they're a group of untalented charity cases and if we let them continue they would suck the _Cheerios _budget dry. Her rambling had only tightened my bolts even further. It was like listening to a scratched CD that kept repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating the same damn two words and ruining the thrill of the song entirely.

I texted Puck as I waited outside his house. _Here. _

It was simple, to the point, and didn't really require and further explanation. Puck knew exactly why I would show up to his house.

A few minutes passed before I began to get a little antsy. A few more minutes passed and I began to get pissed. I texted him again, _wtf where r u?_

He didn't respond, so I sped away.

xxxXXXxxx

"Get a room." I snapped at Mr. Shue as I marched past him. It pissed me off that the virgin counselor lady and Spanish teacher were getting more action than I was. They'd may have only been talking, but it still qualified as more action than me. I'd left Puck's, completely unsatisfied. He never texted me back and I laid at home in bed while refusing to call Brittany and go to her house.

Quinn followed behind me as wound around the school. "Ms. Sylvester wants to see you in her office Mr. Shue. She doesn't like to be kept waiting." Quinn echoed me.

I slowed my flurried pace and waited for Quinn. "I can't believe Finn is in that stupid club!" She bitched. "And that leprechaun is going to be all over him. It's a joke."

"He's probably just gay." I shrugged. I tried to seem indifferent. "I mean why else would he want to sing and dance around."

At that comment Quinn stormed off. I guess she's a little sensitive about that. I'll have to remember to nag her about it later…

"Hey!" Someone linked their arm with mine.

Fully prepared to smack-a-hoe, I turned to find it was only Brittany. "Oh hey." I smiled at her. It felt good to have her walking with me. Quinn was far from a suitable friend-replacement. While Brittany attached herself to me, listened when I talked, and even made me to laugh (for things that didn't involve laughing at others), Quinn did none of those things. Quinn expected me to do that stuff for her….and suddenly I began re-evaluating my friendship with Brittany. _Was I her Quinn-friend…?_

"How was your night?" She immediately asked me after hugging my arm tighter.

I contemplated lying. She would never know, and maybe it would help with our current situation. If I had slept with Puck, it would only verify that I _liked _guys. "No go." I shrugged. "I wasn't in the mood." _Lie. _

"Weird. You're like a mood ring. Mooding all over everyone's fingers."

My breath skipped. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that." Brittany's metaphors either didn't make sense…or…made sense in some perverted sort of way.

"I just mean you're always going to Puck's. It's weird that you ditched him."

"It's not really that big of a deal." _Lie._

Brittany took a moment before she said something. Almost like she was _choosing_ her best response. "You could have come over."

My stomach turned at that thought. _What would have happened if I had gone over, after leaving Puck's house so completely dissatisfied? _"W-well, yeah. I just went home and slept." _Lie. _I'd gone home and laid awake all night thinking about Puck, Brittany, _Cheerios, _Brittany, Glee Club, and Brittany.

"Ladies!" A voice shrilled at us. The second I heard the shriek I knew who it was.

Brittany and I stopped and waited for our approaching Cheer coach. "Go clean the photo-copy room. Someone spilled a red drink all over the floor." She looked furious.

When we didn't move Sue continued. "Now ladies!"

Brittany and I scurried away like mice being chased by a cat. We didn't slow our pace until we reached the _Cheerios _photocopier.

"I can't believe this photocopier has its own room." I rolled my eyes as we shut the door behind us. "I guess it does come in handy when I need a place for me and Puck to hook up."

"Look…" Brittany pointed to a red smoothie spread across the floor. "That dead snowman is everywhere."

"Gross." I stepped away from the spilled drink. "I am not touching that. It looks like someone menstruated in here."

"Outsmart mother nature." Brittany said.

"Huh?" I instinctually said, but for some reason understood her. She was talking about the stupid slogan for _Tampax_.

"Maybe we can just make someone else clean it." Brittany shrugged.

"Yeah, if you want us to run till we puke." I shuddered at the thought. "No thank you."

"Sue won't come in here again today, she only stops by in the mornings. And the janitor will clean it tonight. He has to. It's his job." Brittany spoke.

I nodded my head. "I like your way of thinking Britt. Let's do it."

"Do it?" Brittany questioned.

"You know, you're plan." I tried not to roll my eyes.

"Oh." She laughed. "For a second I thought you meant _do it." _

"…What the hell?" I couldn't hide my agitation.

"Well you say that you bring Puck in here to do stuff, and then you bring me in here and talk about doing it. I just assumed that's what you meant." Brittany pulled her eyes away from mine.

"Brittany…" I tried to calm myself. "I didn't _bring _you in here. Coach Sylvester made us both go in here." I pointed to the red drink on the floor.

"Oh right." Brittany _remembered. _

At that moment I wanted to sprint out the door. I was getting tired of all the awkward comments. _Where and why did they start? _If I just opened the door and left Brittany we could pretend like nothing happened. Of course, that might mean another couple of days befriending Quinn…

…_What if I just kissed her? Can it really hurt that much_? We're both already thinking the same thing. She's my best friend and I'm more comfortable with her than anyone else. Not only would it get rid of the confusion between us, but it would relieve the itch I've been dying to scratch since the party. A small kiss from her would be enough to hold me over until I could drag Puckerman in here.

And if worse came to worse, she would probably forget about it later today. Brittany didn't tend to dwell on things.

I stepped towards her. Then paused. _Stop. What am I doing? _

"You look like you have to poop." Brittany stated.

"Brittany…" I sighed. _Did she have to ruin everything? _"I was trying to think."

Brittany looked around the room and continued to avoid eye contact.

_It's now or never. _

I inched my body closer to hers completely terrified of what I was initiating. I was throwing everything on the table by doing this. My arms gripped tightly around her wrists. One more step and I could reach her.

Every nerve in my body was going haywire. The muscles in my legs clenched from fear of collapsing. The faint breaths coming from my lungs quivered. Gently my lips pushed against hers. They were softer than I expected. _Nothing like Pucks_. But she remained frozen. I could actually feel her holding her breath. It was quite possibly the most awkward kiss I could have imagined.

"Britt," I pulled away. "You've got to breath."

She stared at me and when she didn't move I let go of her wrists. Her continued breath holding cause me to hold mine. And when she finally ran out of oxygen and had to take a heavy gasp, I was quick to follow.

This time I waited for her to advance. If she did advance, it meant I wasn't imagining everything this past week, and that I wasn't going insane. If she didn't, well…like I said…she'll forget about it by the end of the day. _Hopefully. _

My heart fluttered as I watched her eyes break contact with mine for a brief second and consider my lips.

I didn't know how to continue. I could feel a frog crawl up my throat and choke any potential words. I couldn't deny our situation, but I couldn't comprehend it. I'd yelled at my best friend only seconds earlier about _suggesting _things, and now her I am kissing her. "I'm n-not sure." My voice cracked as I forced my mouth to speak what my brain was saying.

The only thing I could think about was the party. Of the feeling her body gave mine as she rubbed against me. That if only she had pushed against me a little harder…And even if I was drunk at the time, that feeling is not something I would forget or imagine. It was something I just had tried to repress until now, until I was going to go insane if I didn't act on it.

My knees were shaking and I could feel my lip starting to quiver. _Oh shit, am I going to cry?_

Instead of saying something weird, or running off, or holding her breath again, she leaned into me. Her hand grabbed the back of my neck and pulled my lips to hers. And instead of remaining stiff like our first attempt, her lips parted and moved around my bottom lip.

My entire body shuddered. That had never happened before. I couldn't tell if it was caused by her, or by the fact that I was hiding in janitors closet at school and making out with a girl. Regardless, my shuddering intensified her every move.

Her nails dragged across the back of my neck. For the first time I was kissing someone who wasn't trying to force themselves onto me. Instead she was teasing me to come closer. So I did.

I pushed and walked her till she was backed up against the door. My hand clenched a good portion of her cheer top. It was the only thing I could think to grab. With guys I'm usually grabbing their belts or pant zippers, but with Brittany I didn't want to rush.

Her hand tightened around the back of my neck and pulled me even further into the door with her. And as she pulled, she deepened the kiss. Her tongue ran against mine and I couldn't help but let out a heavy staccato gasp into her mouth. I let out another short heavy gasp when her lips released mine and immediately reconnected changing the kiss.

My mouth moved with hers. I followed everything she did, because I was afraid if I changed something or did something she didn't like that she would stop and realize that what we were doing wasn't something that friends normally do.

Our bodies were flush with each other. In fact, I was resting my body against hers. She pulled her lips away and before I could miss the contact she was dragging them down my cheek. I felt her tongue briefly touch the skin of my neck and then be followed by a soft kiss. I couldn't hold back another soft groan. I wasn't sure if it was from my fear of touching her and scaring her away, or from her touching me. I'd never gone so long without reciprocating someone's touch and it was maddening.

She used her fingertips to gently massage my back. I closed my eyes and let her do all the work. Her mouth was tracing across my neck, one of her hands was massaging my lower back, while she used the nails on her other hand to tickle the skin of my neck.

It sent chills across my body and at the same time twisted a heavy knot in my stomach. _Why the hell hasn't this happened before? _

"Britt…" I hushed her name.

"Yeah," She pulled her mouth away from my neck but continued to rub my lower back.

"Don't stop." I whimpered. The hand I had clenched around her uniform tightened.

But that short break had brought me back to reality. We had to get to class. Walking in late would only send both of us to detention, which would then make us late to practice. "No. Wait, stop."

I opened my eyes to find her inches away from me. She had a dorky smile spread across her face. "That was fun." Her smile started to seduce me again.

"Yeah." It's the only thing I could think to say. "Yeah, but we're going to be late."

xxxxXXXXxxx

Brittany and I took a seat on either side of Quinn. I'd wanted to sit by Britt, but every time I came within touching distance of her I wanted her to finish what she started this morning. Across the table from us and a few more of the _Cheerios, _was Rachel Berry.

Quinn knocked her pathetic little hammer on the gavel before speaking. "The Celibacy Club is now in session." Everyone continued to glare at Rachel. "Thanks to a school rule that says we have to let anyone join the club we're welcoming a new member this week- Rachel What's-her-name."

I made it a point to roll my eyes.

"Where are all the boys?" Rachel, wearing her stupid sweater-vest, immediately leaned forward and ignored the insult from Quinn.

Brittany let out a short stifled laugh.

"Down the hall," Quinn sneered. "First half hour we separate then we come together to share our faith."

This time I rolled my eyes at Quinn's comment. "Or maybe you're in the wrong room lumberjack." I shot the insult across the table.

"Santana." Rachel directly addressed me. "While you may appear snobby and maybe a bit milquetoast I know there's at least some decency buried deep within you."

"Wait, did you just call Santana milk and toast?" Brittany laughed.

"Milquetoast. It means she's timid and follows Quinn around."

"Callate tu caja!" I snapped and stood up. Quinn grabbed my arm and pulled me down. "You're lucky we're in Celibacy Club."

"Yeah." Brittany spoke. "You're _Berry _lucky."

Once everyone settled back down, the boys eventually arrived. Quinn finished filling balloons for a game and I rushed over to Puck before someone else could partner with him. I may have just made out with Brittany and couldn't stop thinking about her, but that doesn't mean I'm about to let someone walk on my man-turf.

Across the room Brittany stood and talked with Mark, the football player she had _been _with at Puck's party. I guess I wasn't surprised she paired up with him.

"So," Puck ran his hands down my side. "Sorry I wasn't home last night. You should come by tonight." He winked at me.

"Yeah maybe." I nodded. I didn't want to commit, just in case _something _else came up. But chances were I'd be with him anyways.

"You looked hot at the party." His hand played with the bottom of my skirt. "Maybe we can finish what we started."

I ignored him and looked again at Brittany. She was clearly flirting with Mark.

"Let's pair up for the Immaculate Affection." Quinn spoke. "Now, remember, if the balloon pops the noise makes the angels cry."

Puck was the first guy to grab the balloon from my hands and put it in between us. My hands rested on his shoulders and he grabbed around my waist. I thought this exercise would allow a safe distance between me and him, but who was I kidding.

Puck began to grind the balloon between us. His hands pinched my waist and he began to motion as if we were actually having sex.

"Just stop it!" I yelled at him. I hated it when he tried to dominate me in public. And now, especially after my recent _experiment_ with Brittany, I didn't want to be controlled. It was a nice change to actually have someone do what I wanted.

"Take it. Ah, yeah!" He completely ignored me and squeezed my hips even harder.

_Pop. _

I jumped from the noise. It wasn't our balloon though.

"Finn!" Quinn scolded her boyfriend.

"It must have hit my zipper." Finn tried to explain himself.

I was thankful for the interruption. I don't know how much longer I could have taken Puck's thrusting.

"You know what," Rachel spoke up. She stepped away from the creepy carrot top kid. "This is a joke. She looked over to Quinn. "Did you know that most studies have demonstrated that celibacy doesn't work in high schools?" I held back a chuckle. "Our hormones are driving us too crazy to abstain. The second we start telling ourselves that there's no room for compromise, we act out. The only way to deal with teen sexuality is to be prepared. That's what contraception is for." I almost choked on my spit. _Had Brittany known that? _

"Don't you dare mention the "C" word." Quinn ridiculed Rachel's outburst.

"You want to know a dirty little secret that none of them want you to know?" Rachel spoke directly to Finn. "Girls want sex just as much as guys do."

I found myself exchanging a smile with Brittany. Something we would normally do under this circumstance (pre-make out session), but now the exchange left me a little…wired.

Rachel turned and left the classroom.

"I-is that accurate," the creepy carrot-top kid asked me.

"Ewe please," I held up a hand.

"This is a joke," Puck grabbed his backpack from underneath a desk. "Hit me up later." Puck pointed to me before following Rachel out.

Quinn started silently whispering with Finn, so I turned to find Brittany. She was again talking with the football player.

I grabbed my backpack and followed Puck.


	4. Never Have I Ever

**A/N: Thanks again to those who reviewed! So this chapter is a little shorter than the others, but I couldn't find anything else that needed to be added. Hope you enjoy! :)**

**Chapter 4 : Never Have I Ever**

"San!" Someone called after me. Approaching footsteps slapped the hallway. "Wait." Brittany caught up. "Where are you going?"

"Home." I stopped. "That club is so stupid. I hate to admit it but Rachel is right. It's a complete waste of our time to even be there if neither of us is a virgin."

"But if we don't go, then Quinn will find out." Brittany looked back at the classroom door. "She'll get mad at us."

"Quinn already knows." I thought about adding, _because you walked out of the bathroom with a guy and your pants unbuttoned, _but decided against it. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, and I didn't want to bring up the memory and risk the potential that I might have to explain to her why I was crying about it.

"It's the only club I was in." Brittany pouted. She looked like she had just lost her favorite toy. Her jaw clenched and her eyes clouded. I examined her face further and discovered she wasn't crying because of the _Celibacy Club_. She was crying over the concept of the Celibacy Club. Brittany wasn't a virgin anymore. Over the past few weeks I've tried to avoid the topic, but each time I accidentally mentioned it, or brought up anything remotely similar to her and Mark she shut down.

I reached down and grabbed her hand. "Its okay Brit Brit. We'll join something else." I swung her arm and tried to cheer her up.

"Like Glee club?" Brittany hopped.

"Shh!" I jerked her hand to silence her. "We're _Cheerios. _Can you imagine if Sue found out?" I stepped closer so I could whisper. "She would destroy us. We'd get kicked off the _Cheerios _and then what?"

Brittany shrugged.

"Exactly." I dropped her hand. "Now come on." I smiled. "Let's go watch a movie at your place."

That immediately cheered her up. She reached for my hand and linked her pinkie with mine. It was something we had always done. Until now I hadn't really thought about her rationale for doing it. I always assumed she did it, because we've always done it. For goodness sake she still paints Easter eggs, leaves cookies for Santa, and has a frilly pink comforter. _How was I supposed to know our pinkie-holding might not be innocent? _Whatever…who am her to deny her it, when it's something I like to do equally as much as she does. It's a comfort thing for us.

As we walked down the hallway I looked over at her and noticed she was letting silent tears fall. Black trails of mascara were scrambling down her cheeks. I guess my movie suggestion hadn't completely cured her. "Britt." I squeezed my pinkie tightly around hers. "What's wrong?"

"I have a secret and you're going to be mad." Brittany kept her eyes forward.

Instead of pulling her aside and having her speak face to face with me we just continued down the hallway. I'd rather her not be found crying in the corner when the Celibacy Club lets out.

"I won't be mad." I tried to assure her, but that wasn't something I could promise. It was the only thing I knew to say that would make her feel comfortable enough to confide in me.

Suddenly my awkward drama issues with Brittany flushed away and I prayed that _that_ wasn't what she was upset about. I can't believe I was so focused on my own inner confusion and discomfort that I'd completely ignored hers. She was the one who had accidentally initiated everything. Maybe her secret was that she wanted to take it back. Take back what she said to me, did with me at the party, and did to me this morning in the _Cheerios _copier room.

"Mark isn't the only one." She said it so quickly I almost didn't catch it.

Knowing that she had a _kissing _list was hard enough for me to handle, but I don't think I can handle a sex list. I could feel my face writhing. It wasn't because I thought she was a slut or because I thought she was gross. Actually, I didn't know why her confession disgusted me. "I'm not mad…" I falsely reassured her.

"I know. I just…I thought it would be better after the way you described it. But it wasn't." Brittany used the back of her hand to wipe away a downpour of tears. I cringed as her hand smeared mascara across her cheekbone. "So I tried it again. And again." She was now struggling to keep her sobs quiet.

I decided against saying anything until we reached my car. I knew if I said something I'd either cause her to vocally cry, or cause myself to tear up and this conversation needed to be saved for somewhere a little more private.

We reached my car and she rounded around to the passenger side. I unlocked the doors and waited until we were inside before I started to work out the situation.

By now her eyes had reddened and her eyelids were swollen. Traces of mascara and eyeliner covered her face. My best friend sniffled and used her forearm to wipe her nose. _How did I let this happen? _

"Brittany stop crying please." I begged her. It felt weird having her so upset over something so _real. _

It didn't work.

I turned in the driver seat so I was facing her and placed my hands on top of hers. "You have nothing to cry about."

For the first time since her tears had started, she looked at me. It broke my heart to see her so upset. It took every ounce of strength I had to keep myself from tearing up. If I started, then we'd never stop crying.

I just wasn't used to dealing with this version of Brittany. I had no problem comforting her when people called her stupid or explaining things to her so she understood. It was easy to deal with that stuff, because it wasn't true. But I'd never seen her cry over boys. I'd never had to deal with consoling her about something that is such a gray area. Sleeping with lots of people isn't _okay. _

"But I do." Brittany hiccupped. "I didn't even care I was having sex. I thought it would be special, but instead it wasn't."

I almost pulled away from her. She was saying this because of _me_. Because of the many times I had told her that boys only want one thing, and once you have them chasing you they'll worship you. I had glorified sex, because it was the only thing I felt comfortable doing. I was so uncomfortable with myself, just being myself, that I had to give something away to compensate. Never had I thought sharing all my boy stories with Brittany would influence her to think like I do.

I'm pathetic.

"Brittany." I squeezed her hands. "You are a wonderfully amazing person. My best friend. Something like sex shouldn't define who you are. Do I wish you would have waited until the right person? Yes. Do I care? No." I paused. "I only care that you're okay. Who gives a damn about what others think of you, especially boys." I smiled and leaned forward so she would look up at me. "It only matters what I think."

That caused her to laugh.

"So please, please, please be okay." I said. "I just want you to do what you want."

"Okay." Brittany wiped her nose again.

I used my thumb and began wiping the smudged mascara from her face. "Now, I have something that will cheer you up."

"The Jelly Belly candy tubs at the store?" Brittany tried to laugh through her receding sobs.

"Even better." I pulled out my cell phone, but left my other hand tightly clenched around Brittany's.

I smiled at her while the phone rang. I kept the smile both because of my genius plan, and in order to cheer her up even more.

"Hello Quinn." I smirked over the phone.

Brittany silently questioned me.

"So I've been thinking about what you said about Finn and I feel like I need to share something with you." I paused and waited for her to respond.

"_What?" _Quinn said over the phone.

"You see, I walked by their little Glee Club earlier and saw that Rachel Berry girl all over him. They were rehearsing for the pep assembly tomorrow and let's just say it was a little suggestive."

"_I knew it! I knew it." _Quinn yelled over the phone. She then hushed her voice.

"Right. So I was thinking that we need to get in the middle of this before it turns into something." I paused to build anticipation. "We need to join Glee Club."

Brittany squealed from the passenger seat. I couldn't help but beam. My head shook _no _in an attempt to shush Brittany. We couldn't have Quinn thinking we _wanted _to join.

"_That's social suicide." _Quinn hushed over the phone.

"Fine." I said. "If you think you're boy won't stray then we have nothing to worry about. Oh and nothing is social suicide with us. We're the hottest bitches at this school."

Quinn thought silently over the phone. I could almost hear her pondering my idea. I had planted a seed in her head and it was so easy persuade her to do whatever I wanted.

"_Fine." _Quinn spoke. _"We'll do it. After the pep assembly tomorrow, we'll talk to Mr. Shue." _

"Perfect." I said and hung up the phone.

"This is going to be amazing!" Brittany cheered. Her hand was squeezing so tightly around mine, that I thought my fingers would start turning blue.

"Remember," I tried to calm her excitement, "we're undercover."

As I drove to her house Brittany couldn't stop talking about songs she wanted to sing. I couldn't remember the last time Brittany had been this excited. And I had gotten her to completely forget about why she was upset. _Definitely worth social-suicide. _

After Brittany cleaned the makeup off of her face we changed into sweats and put _Lady and the Tramp _in her DVD player. Just like we always have done, Brittany lay strewn across her bed (not) doing her homework, and I sat on the floor at the foot of her bed. My legs were tucked into me and my notebook was on my lap. Movies and homework at Brittany's had always been a weekly ritual.

"What song do you think Quinn will want us to sing?" Brittany interrupted my math equation. "Hopefully something good. And we can do a routine from _Cheerios. _We'll be tennis-shoe ins._"_

"Its just shoe-in. No tennis." I corrected her.

"Can I braid your hair?" Brittany asked, but didn't wait for my answer. She squirmed on her belly to the foot of her bed and began pulling out my ponytail.

Since she had already started I didn't bother answering her question.

"You're hair's like Pocahontas'." Brittany ran her fingers through my fallen hair. It felt good to have my hair out of its usual tight ponytail and in her fingers. "I had a Pocahontas Barbie and cut all its hair off once."

"Please don't." I partially involved myself in our conversation. I could usually get away with halfway answering her and doing my homework.

"Remember that girl you punched when she got mad at me." Brittany's hands stopped combing through my hair and her fingertips began to tickle behind my ear. "I called her Pocahontas and then she tried to WWF body slam me." Brittany continued her typical, somewhat connected, dialogue.

Her fingers dragging across my neck had caused me to lose any remaining focus I had left on my homework. I set my notebook down and closed my eyes. "Yeah, because she was Indian and you refused to call her by any other name."

Brittany laughed.

"Can you massage my shoulders?" I asked her with my eyes still closed. "Since it's your knee that's always in my back during pyramids."

"Sure." I heard Brittany shuffle around on her bed. "Scoot forward."

I lazily listened. Eventually I had scooted a few inches forward, not completely sure why she wanted me to do that.

Instantly Brittany closed the gap between my back and her bed by squeezing in between. Her legs spread around us as she sat behind me on the floor. Quickly I became a little too aware of her unlocked bedroom door, her bedroom window, and any noise that might signal someone approaching.

"Just relax." Brittany whispered into my ear. Her hands began kneading the knots in my shoulders.

I relaxed. My body rested against her chest and my hands rested on her shins. I couldn't believe how good she was at this. She could literally get me to do _anything _right now.

Her thumbs pressed and circled around my shoulder blades. At once I regretted putting a t-shirt on over my tank top. I even contemplated taking it off…

Slowly her hands began rubbing down my arms. I missed her hands on my back. That's until she started massaging my legs. Her chest was pressed so tightly against my back that I didn't think she could possibly be any closer.

Each time her hands massaged my lap her body rocked into mine and her breaths caught on the back of my neck. Her hands dug into my leg muscles. I wanted her to push harder so I pressed my back against her. It was the most intimate situation I have ever been in and we weren't really doing anything sexual.

I let out a soft, justifiable, moan. I had been forcing myself to keep in, but I couldn't hold it in any longer.

Brittany seemed to take this as a good sign. Her center pressed harder against my back and her massage intensified. _At once I regretted putting on sweatpants._

My eyes were closed, but I felt her hands inch higher. She was massaging the inside of my thighs. Her fingers were rubbing my inner thigh and her lips were just behind my ear.

I squirmed and tried to adjust my position. With her legs so tightly wrapped around the outside of mine I couldn't open them. If my legs were wider she could massage further…

_Stop! Stop! _My eyes shot open and I jumped up from the floor. My chest was heaving and the same prickles that you get when you're hand falls asleep were lightly prickling my thighs, begging to go higher.

Brittany sat dumbfounded. Her eyes were glued to me, terrified of what I was about to say. "Sorry." Brittany began. "You just seemed like you liked it, so I kept doing it." She put her head down and pulled her eyes away from me.

"It's fine." I crossed my arms. "…We've never done something like that and after what happened in the photocopier room today it seemed a little sexual." I whispered the last word, afraid that someone was standing outside with their ear pressed against her door.

"I liked it." Brittany still kept her eyes away from mine.

_Now what? _I had liked it, but how could I admit it. In fact, I had wanted her to take things further. I've definitely gone too long without Puckerman.

I knelt down in front of her and grabbed her hand. _Screw it. _I grabbed her chin and turned her head toward me. I pushed my lips into hers before I could stop myself. When she didn't immediately respond I feared that she would do the same thing she did in this morning and freeze up.

But her lips caught mine and her hands immediately found my legs again. As she squeezed them I regretted stopping her earlier. _How far would she have gone? _

My hand reached for her. It was the first time it had. In the photocopier room I hadn't tried anything, because I was afraid of scaring her, but now I knew she wanted it. And I wanted to know how far _I_ could go.

I grabbed the zipper on her sweater and pulled it down to reveal her _Cheerios _sports bra.

Something in my pocket vibrated and sent me jolting up. Brittany again stared at me like she had done something wrong. I shook my head at her, as if to say no, and reached in my pocket for my phone. At the same time she zipped her sweater back up.

"Puckerman's calling." I explained my actions. My phone now vibrated in my hand.

"Hello." I answered the phone and sat on Brittany's bed.

"_Are you coming over?" _He said over the phone.

Brittany had scooted across the floor and was now sitting at my feet. Her hands returned to massaging my legs. She started at my calf.

"I'm with Brit right now." I declined his offer. How ironic.

Brittany smiled. Her hands felt incredible on my legs. Each time she massaged the knots in my calves I internally begged her to go higher and slip her hands inside my sweats.

"_So what. Bring her too." _

"Uhm no." I snapped over the phone. "We're doing…homework." I lied, but for good reason.

"_Oh come on. Look, I'll come over there." _He pleaded.

Brittany's hands were now massaging behind my knees. She had to sit up on her knees in front of me to reach.

"Not tonight Puckerman." I declined. I can't believe I turned him down, but nothing was going to stop my urge right now.

"Whatever." He hung up the phone and so did I.

"What'd he want?" Brittany asked and halted her massaging.

"The usual." I shrugged. "I'm not in the mood for it."

Brittany lifted the corner of her mouth in a smile. For some reason I could tell that she knew I meant, _I'm not in the mood for him. _

A knock sounded on the door sending me scuttling backwards across the bed and away from Brittany. I watched the door creep open and Quinn squeeze herself in. _You've got to be kidding me. _I crossed my fingers and hoped she hadn't seen anything. I was thankful for Puckerman's call interrupting Brittany and me. _Who knows if we'd still have clothes on?_

"I wanted to rehearse our tryout number." Quinn spoke and completely dissolved any fear that I had about her seeing us. "If we're doing this Glee thing, then I want to be the best."

"Cool." Brittany jumped up from the floor and onto the bed.

Quinn questioned her reason for being on the floor, but didn't dwell over it for any extended amount of time. "I have the perfect song." Quinn handed me a CD.


	5. 100 Percent

**Chapter 5 - 100%**

The pep assembly was the final straw for Quinn. Even after we had practiced our try-out routine Quinn seemed a little hesitant about going behind Sue's back and joining Glee Club, but after the song Finn, Rachel, and the rest of the Glee Club performed Quinn was one-hundred percent committed. Even I was positive something was going on between Rachel and Finn. There's no way they could have bounced around like that during their little sex-show and not have feelings for one another.

"Let me get this straight." Sue glared at us. Quinn, Brittany and I sat across the table in her office. I was crazy to think she would be okay with this. Literally two seconds after we had our Glee try-out, _Say A Little Prayer for You,_ Sue had us ushered to her office. "You're joining Glee Club?"

I glanced at Brittany and noticed she was avoiding eye contact. Something I probably should be doing.

"I'm sorry. Couch Sylvester but something is going on between Finn and that _thing_." I was a little taken aback by Quinn's quick defense. She must think Rachel really is a threat. "You saw how it was undressing him with its eyes." Quinn paused and then began begging. "Please don't kick us off the Cheerios."

Sue snapped and pointed toward Quinn. "Cease fire on the waterworks. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to see it." _Great here it comes, the actual death part of our attempted social-suicide. _"You know, Q, when I first laid eyes on you I was reminded of a young Sue Sylvester though you don't have my bone structure." Quinn's pessimistic look momentarily faltered. "But it wasn't until this very moment…I saw how alike we really are." Quinn looked back and we exchanged a short, confused, look. "You three are going to be my spies. I need eyes on the inside. We're going to bring this club down from within."

I couldn't believe it. I never expected Sue to go along with this. I was just using Glee Club as temporary thing to cheer up Brittany, but we really were going to be a part of it. I turned to Brittany and held my hand up for a high-five. Not only was I going to get a chance to destroy the Glee Club and Rachel Berry, but I was actually going to be able to participate in a club that sounded fun. As far as Brittany was concerned, I knew she was only excited about the singing and dancing part, she could care less about _bringing down the Glee Club._

"And I'm gonna get my boyfriend back." Quinn smiled.

"I don't care so much about that." Sue quickly responded.

The four of us sat in an awkward empty silence. We were too scared to celebrate any further until Sue was a safe distance away.

"That's all I want to say." Sue looked away from us.

We quickly grabbed our stuff and left her office.

"That dwarf is finally going to get what's coming to her." Quinn smirked. "I can't wait till Mr. Shuester tells her that he gave me the solo."

"You got a solo already?" Brittany frowned. "I want one."

"Enough Brittany." Quinn stopped us and held up her hand. "Glee Club isn't something for fun. It's so I can get Finn to stop touching that garden gnome and so Sue can bring it to an end. As soon as we destroy Glee Club I won't have to worry about my boyfriend wandering off. So if I were you I wouldn't be too enthusiastic about getting a solo Brittany because I don't think it will happen."

"Woah there." I interjected. "You might be head cheerleader, but you're nothing in Glee and you can't talk to Brittany like that."

Brittany looked back and forth between me and Quinn.

"I can do what I want Santana." Quinn spat. "And I didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"So we're going to _not_ hang out without you tonight." I smiled at Quinn. "See you tomorrow morning at practice." I linked pinkies with Brittany and pulled her away.

"I thought we were going to her house tonight?" Brittany looked back at Quinn.

"No Britt…not after what she said." I continued to storm down the hallway.

"She's said worse." Brittany tried to defend her. "I don't mind not getting a solo. I mean when I was little people used to tell me I was the worst Brittany Spears they've ever seen."

I shrugged off Brittany's odd comment. "You'll get a solo, I promise. Mr. Shue would be an idiot not to give you one."

We continued down the hall until Puckerman cut in front of us. "Hey ladies." He looked down to our linked pinkies. "That's why you couldn't come over last night."

"No." I snapped at him. "I just didn't feel like driving over to your place. I had more important things to do."

"The last girl who turned me down had a mullet and played on the softball team." Puck said. "Now maybe I'm wrong, but I heard you were at softball practice last night."

"-No…" Brittany looked at Puck like he was stupid. "I'm not allowed to have bats in my bedroom. Though I did bring a toy bat in once at me and Santana played. But we had to quit because we kept hitting homeruns and broke my bed."

Puck's jaw dropped and it took a few seconds for me to realize that mine had done the same. _How in the hell did Brittany say something that was true, yet could be interpreted so sexually? _

"I bet." Puck again looked down at our interlocked pinkies.

I pulled my hand out of Brittany's.

"Shut up Puckerman. She means real softball, not the kind you watch on _Skinemax _late at night when nobody will call you."

"Hey I didn't say it was a bad thing. I'm completely into it."

The glare I gave him must have made him nervous, because he quickly found a group of approaching football players and joined up with them.

I took a few steps down the hall and had to stop and wait for Brittany. There was no way I was going to reach for her pinkie again.

"Come on Britt." I waved her to walk with me.

"Should I have not told him about playing softball?" Brittany hesitantly asked. Her arms awkwardly swung without my pinkie to hold on to.

"No. Yes." I responded. "I mean...he...it's confusing Britt."

She reached for my hand and I snapped it away.

"What's wrong?" Brittany sped up her pace in order to keep up with me. My sudden distanced-attitude hadn't pushed her away. In fact it had caused her to try harder.

_How was I supposed to explain Puck's accusation and my defensiveness without hurting her feelings?_ My frantic pace slowed once I noticed Brittany was almost jogging to keep up with me. I didn't want to push her away, but I didn't know how to nicely tell her to back off.

She grabbed my arm and stopped me. It was the first time I could remember her doing something like that. I must have hit a nerve.

"Santana. Tell me what's wrong." Brittany demanded.

We were in the middle of an empty hall. School was already out, which was something I was more than thankful for. I'm pretty sure this conversation we're about to have is going to be a little unsettling and I'd rather not have people eavesdropping.

"It's just…" I thought carefully about my word choice. "Puck is joking about us…about us hooking up. The softball thing is a metaphor for something _else." _I glanced around the hallway to make sure nobody was sneaking up.

"What do you mean?" Brittany still didn't understand.

"I mean…I don't want to be called a lesbian Britt."

"Well you're not. You do stuff with guys." Brittany shrugged. Her indifference seemed to relax me a little. Maybe I was overreacting.

"Right…" I thought about it. Puck wasn't saying something unusual for him. He said things like that all the time. If I overreact and make a big deal about it, he might eventually end up catching on.

"Unless you told him something?" Brittany asked.

"No. No. Of course not. I haven't told anyone anything. We're just friends." I shrugged. "I mean nobody has reason to think otherwise."

"Think otherwise for what?" Brittany asked. "We are friends."

"I-I…just don't want people knowing stuff we do." I whispered to Brittany. My heart was racing. I was scared that I was going to offend her and I was scared that she wouldn't understand what I was asking.

"Like hang out?" Brittany looked completely lost. Her eyes had narrowed and focused harder on mine.

"No Britt." I sighed in frustration. "Other _stuff." _

"Oh, you mean kissing and tou-" I cut Brittany off by shoving my hand over her mouth.

"Exactly." I left my hand over her mouth until she nodded. "Sorry," I apologized for my actions.

"I get it." Brittany didn't seem hurt. "You're reputation is important."

She didn't seem to mind saying it, but it almost sounded like she implied my reputation is more important than her.

xxxXXXXxxx

"Five, six, seven, eight." Mr. Shue counted off for us. "Step and step. Just step and step." The Glee Club followed along with him, but the only one who seemed to be getting it was Brittany. Everyone else was off beat and bumping into each other. Brittany almost looked a little frustrated with its simplicity. "And turn around and down and up."

By now Quinn had completely stopped trying. I knew it was because of the conversation we had had with Rachel earlier. Sue had told us to sabotage the club and try to make Mr. Shue seem like he wasn't good enough. We told Rachel that his dancing wasn't good enough and Quinn wanted Rachel to speak up and tell Mr. Shue right now.

"And hit, hit. Down. Hit." Mr. Shue continued.

"Uh, c-could we stop, please?" Rachel finally spoke up.

I grabbed Brittany's wrist and stopped her dancing.

"You don't have to ask every time for permission to go to the bathroom, Rachel. You can just go." He mistook her interruption.

Before he could turn around and continue Rachel spoke again. "It's not my bladder. It's the choreography."

Mr. Shue turned around, slightly offended. "Okay, what's wrong with the choreography?"

"We can't compete with Vocal Adrenaline with these steps." Rachel spoke. Our vandalistic words rolled off of her tongue. I almost felt bad for pushing her into this. I know Quinn didn't care, but I didn't mind Glee Club. Rachel looked confused and sheepish. She started quoting the exact words I had told her earlier. "You're a great vocal coach, Mr. Shue," again my words, "but…you're not a…trained choreographer. That's what we need to be the best. We need Dakota Stanley. We can't take Regionals without him. He was the understudy to the candelabra in _Beauty and the Beast _on Broadway."

"Just because he understudied doesn't mean he ever performed." Mr. Shue said.

Quinn stepped forward. "Did you ever perform, Mr. Shuester?" She was almost laughing. "After high school. Did you even try?"

"Alright." He gave in. "That's enough for today. Same time tomorrow."

We all silently grabbed our things and left. I hadn't bothered waiting for Quinn once Brittany had caught up with me. Even though I was equally responsible for Rachel interjecting, I still wanted to blame Quinn. I was afraid Brittany would think I was trying to ruin Glee Club for her.

"His moves aren't that bad." Brittany said as we walked through the hall. We headed straight for my car. Afternoon _Cheerios _practice was a no go, and Sue had run practice this morning twice as long to make up for it.

"You're so much better Britt. Maybe it's a waste of time." I told her.

"No not at all. Maybe I can teach some of the others how to dance. And I have fun." Brittany smiled and bumped my shoulder.

"I know." I felt even guiltier for what I had said to Rachel.

"I'm going over to Jake's since we're not going to Quinn's. He's picking me up." Brittany changed subjects.

It took me a moment for my brain to adjust to the derailing. "Who's Jake?" I impulsively snapped back at her.

"From the football team. He's making me dinner at his place cause his parents aren't home. We're eating dinosaur chicken nuggets and macaroni."

"I thought you were coming to my place?" I began. "Why is he making you your favorite dinner? You know that his parents aren't home is code for he's trying to hook up with you? Guys say that they'll make you whatever you want just to make you feel special. I mean, Puck bought me churros so I'd come over and when I got there he had already eaten all of them."

Brittany didn't know how to begin responding. I'd overloaded on the words and excuses. _Was I jealous? _

"But if you want to go then I'm sure it'll be fun." I forced a fake smile across my face. _What kind of friend would I be if I made her feel guilty, or uncomfortable just because I wanted all of her attention?_

"Well, I can come by after." Brittany said. "I don't think I'll be there very long."

"It's okay." I sighed. "You can come by after if you want, if not then that's okay too." I smiled a genuine smile this time. There's a fine line I'm beginning to have a hard time balancing on. Friends and more than friends. I just have to remember that we were best friends first and always will be.

"I'll come by."

xxXXXxxx

Her promise had forced me to stay home. Again Puckerman was begging me to come over, but I couldn't leave Brittany hanging. If she said she's coming over, then I know for a fact she'll be here. I just didn't know when…and I was too afraid to ask, because I didn't want to sound controlling. The last think I want to do is overwhelm her with my sudden over-over protectiveness.

But I didn't leave Puck out-to-dry. _Sexting _was something we both had become very familiar with. I told him that prior commitments were forcing me to stay home, but I was willing to do whatever it took to help him.

I was lying on my bed in the dark, still wearing my _Cheerios _uniform. I'd been too tired to even change out of my. A small swirly part of the paint on my ceiling had me transfixed.

My cell flashed and vibrated on the bed next to me. I flipped it open.

_I want to touch u. Send a pic._

I tossed the phone back onto the bed. All the pictures I have, Puck's seen, and I wasn't in the mood to take another. I'd have to get up, turn my lamp on, and somewhat attempt to undress. Not to mention I'm way too tired to look sexy and way to distracted by other thoughts to move.

My phone flashed again and I darted for it.

_How close r u?_

"Ugh." I groaned. It was Puck again. I typed a short message and sent it. "_Already came. C u 2morrow." _My enthusiasm about _sexting_ Puck only lasted a good twenty minutes. I just couldn't stop wondering when Brittany would show up. After how she had cried the other day about her virginity, I couldn't help but worry about her hanging out with another guy.

I checked the clock. _11:29pm. _"Shit." I said aloud. It was way later than I had expected. _Had I really been laying on my bed for that long? _

After I pushed myself up I walked over to my window and looked out. The street was quiet and deserted. Brittany had promised she was going to be here…so where was she?

I picked my phone back up, ignored Puck's text, and began typing a message to her. It was late so I knew for a fact I was on the best friend side of the _line_ when I sent the text.

_Hey Britt Britt, you still coming by?_

After I set my phone back on the bed, I realized how badly I needed to pee and quickly paced toward the bathroom. After I came back out I saw the familiar glow from my bed.

_4 New Messages. _I cross my fingers and prayed they weren't from Puck. But my stomach turned a little at the thought of them being from Brittany. _Why would she need to send that many?_

_Ycc_

_Yaey_

_Ya_

_Heeeer_

They were all from Brittany. I carefully re-read them once again. She either had a horrible thumb accident and couldn't text properly, or she was drunk. From my interpretation she was here, and I didn't want her ringing the doorbell and waking anyone up.

Carefully I crept through the hallway and opened the front door. Nobody was there. It looked exactly like it had a few minutes ago when I had looked from my bedroom window.

"Brittany?" I hissed through the darkness.

When nobody answered I stepped out. My bare feet made contact with the porch and sent shivers up my legs. I crossed my arms in an attempt to keep warm.

I walked further out onto the grass and scanned the front yard. "Britt come on. It's cold and this isn't funny."

I heard a soft rustle and spun around. A noise had come from my house. It was Brittany. I reacted by slapping a hand to my chest in an attempt to both alleviate the surprise and keep myself from screaming. She took an awkward step and plopped down on my front porch.

"What the hell Britt?" I walked back toward my house and toward her. "Don't sit outside."

As I approached I noticed her hair was tussled and her heels weren't properly strapped. She tried to look up at me, but never was able to make eye contact.

"You're drunk Britt?" I squatted in front of her. "Why?"

Brittany laughed and I shot a finger up to my mouth in order to shush her. I'm pretty sure we were the only ones awake in the neighborhood and I didn't want anyone finding her like this. She looked like an intoxicated hooker.

"They had people there." Brittany mumbled. "And we played drinkin games." Her body swayed and I grabbed her shoulders to hold her still. "You were right. No dinosaurs."

I was afraid to ask what else took the place of the dinosaurs. Instead I sat down from my squatting position and waited for her to continue.

"It was fun-ish. I was going to tell you to come over but I couldn't find my phone until I left. And I got to eat lots of Jello which got all over my shirt and so I tried to wash it. I got it in my hair, definitely not the same as gel." Brittany opened her jacket and revealed a partially soaked and partially red stained white blouse. She continued by pulling her jacket off and dropping it behind her.

"Hey wait till we're inside before you change. You'll get cold." I picked up her jacket and hugged it.

"Rachel Berry is super good. Like Bell except she looks like an Amish." She tried to run a hand through her sticky hair. "If we combined we'd have something nice."

"Britt. You're beginning to not make sense." I rubbed her bare arm. "Let's get inside."

Brittany ignored me and continued talking. "If we got together we could have fun. I'm good at stuff you know. I think so…so good."

"You and Rachel?" I tried to understand, but I was completely lost.

"No me and _you_." Brittany put her hand on my leg. Her touch reminded me of the other night, before Quinn had interrupted us.

I wasn't able to respond. Her hand had distracted me. It slowly crept higher on my leg and tucked underneath my cheer skirt. She stopped at my _spankies _and grabbed a small handful of the fabric around my hip.

"Britt," I hushed and grabbed her wrist. "Not outside."

Her lip jutted out into a pout, but she didn't let go. Instead she clenched tighter around my _spankies. _"Why not?" She tried to pull them down, but couldn't since I was sitting.

The thought of her undressing me shook my nerves. She scooted closer and placed her other hand on the inside of my thigh. I watched as her hand crept up and her fingers tickled my skin.

"Come on." I had to pry her hands from me. "Let's go inside."

I stood up and followed by helping her up. My arm wrapped tightly around her waist and I led her as quietly as possible back to my room. Her weight kept randomly shifting and giving me more of a workout than I expected. When we made it to my room, I flicked on my lamp, tossed her jacket on my floor, and I sat her on the bed.

In the light her hair looked worse that I had predicted. It was matted in one spot and I could actually see red Jello still stuck in it. "Jesus Britt." I stepped in front of her and tried to untangle her hair with my fingers.

"You smell good." Brittany's hand found my stomach and she placed her palm flat against it.

"And you smell like a brewery." I tried to ignore her touch, but it had almost caused my knees to buckle. I had been waiting for her to show up all night and ignored Puck, because somewhere in the back of my mind I wanted something from her. And now here she is…one-hundred percent willing and I can't bring myself to reciprocate. It felt weird that she was drunk and I wasn't. On the other hand, if I was drunk I couldn't even begin to imagine the possibilities.

"The baseball team?" She asked. Her other hand started playing with the hem of my skirt.

"No." I ignored her wandering hands and grabbed the bottom of her shirt. "Here let's get you changed."

Her arms went up in the air and I pulled her shirt off. Brittany then unzipped her pants and fumbled to pull them off. But she was eventually able to squeeze out of them. _Great, now she's half naked, wanting me, and on my bed. _

"I want a shower." Brittany again tried to run her hands through her hair.

"Uhm." I checked the clock. _11:43pm. _"I guess." I hesitated, but she really did need a shower or I'd have to end up washing my sheets.

I grabbed a towel from my closet and walked back to her. She was already standing and waiting for me so I easily wrapped the towel around her body.

A light caught my eye and I noticed my phone was again lighting up. I reached down and opened it.

_I'm on my way over. _It was from Puck. My heart almost stopped.

I quickly responded by saying, _cant I'm at Britts. _

It was too late though. I knew he was almost here and any minute we would be unlatching my window and crawling in. He knew exactly how to sneak in for a late night quickie, and I'd made it a point to rig my window so he could.

I grabbed my phone, grabbed Brittany, shut off my light, and darted for the bathroom. Hiding was the only option I had, unless I wanted him walking in on Brittany half-naked and seeing her hands all over me. When we stepped in the bathroom I left the light off and shut the door. "Okay Britt. We've got to hide from Puck."

"Hide? Like a game?" She said. Her hand reached for mine in the almost pitch black bathroom.

"Exactly." I led her to the shower and shut the curtain behind us.

Instead of listening to what I had said, Brittany began squirming next to me. It took me a second to realize she was undressing. _Shit…if he found us now…_

I let her finish undressing afraid she would make a fuss otherwise. Instead I just pressed my back against her and backed her up against the wall.

My phone lit up in my hand. I frantically opened it.

_Fine. _

I sighed and relaxed. Thank goodness I had checked my phone before I took Brittany to the bathroom. There is no telling what would have happened. Brittany was drunk, touchy, and naked. And when it comes to modesty she doesn't have much when she's drunk. Puck would have came in, saw her in the shower, saw me in the bathroom with her, questioned it, and Brittany would have said _something. _I wasn't in the mood or had the current brain capacity to deter Puckerman's wishful thinking or dirty thoughts about Britt an me.

The panic and stress had kept me distracted. I had been so focused on trying to keep quiet, I hadn't noticed Brittany's hand pulling down the zipper on my _Cheerios _skirt.

I spun around before she had a chance to completely unzip me. "Britt." I whispered to the spot where I figured her face was. "You're taking a shower. Not me."

She ignored me. Her hand reached underneath my skirt and again she grabbed my _spankies. _This time she was able to begin pulling them down. And for a second, I actually let her pull them down. She jerked me towards her to get better leverage and I didn't fight. It was either because I was taken off guard...or because it's exactly what I wanted.

I grabbed her wrist again. "Britt." I repeated her name. "Not now."

"When then?" She responded.

"Whenever you want, later. I promise okay, but it's too late and I don't want to wake anybody up." As I said this I could feel my nerves rising. I was actually _promising _her we would do stuff.

Her hand finally pulled away from my _spankies _so I let go of her wrist. When I knew she had subsided, I pulled and adjusted my _spankies._

"I can't see the soap." Brittany said.

I laughed and stepped out of the dark shower. For the first time that night I had finally relaxed. She was here, safe, no Puckerman, and I had nothing to worry about.

I groped the nearby wall for the light switch until I finally found it. The light quickly illuminated the small room. When I turned back toward Brittany her hand was covering her eyes from the white glare.

She was also completely naked with her towel, bra, and underwear at her feet. I'd seen Brittany naked before, but now it seemed so much different. She looked so vulnerable.

Without words, because I couldn't seem to find any, I walked toward her and picked up the clothes and towel from the shower floor. I could feel her eyes following every move I made. I set everything on top of the counter and went back to the shower.

Her eyes still remained fixed on me as I adjusted the heat of the shower. Each second I became more and more self-conscious. I shut the curtain when the water temperature was perfect and sat on the lid of the toilet seat. I couldn't help but remember the night she had recently helped me when I was drunk.

I was afraid of leaving and her getting sick or falling without me there. So I sat ready and poised to spring in the shower the instant she needed my help. But she never did.

The twenty minute shower steamed up the bathroom and when she shut the water off I stuck my arm in through curtain with the towel draped over it.

We made it back to my room and I flicked the lamp back on. Brittany plopped down on my bed, soaked, and still wrapped in her towel. I almost decided to let her fall asleep like that, but I didn't want her freezing after the warm water on her body cooled down.

I grabbed an oversized t-shirt, just like she had done for me, and headed toward her. When I reached her she dropped the towel and I pulled the shirt over her head. The only difference between me (the night I was drunk) and her (now) was that she didn't care if I saw her without clothes. I'm not even sure if she knew she was naked.

I grabbed a pair of my shorts off my dresser and helped her into them. The wet parts of her body she hadn't dried with the towel were seeping through the clean clothes. I pulled the towel away from her and started rubbing her hair with it. When I found it was dry enough I set the towel on the floor and stood in front of her.

She looked tired. Her eyes were swollen and she hadn't said anything since the shower.

Without me having to, she pulled my sheets out and slid into them. As soon as her breathing changed and she fell asleep, I changed into pajamas and crawled underneath the covers with her.


	6. Role Reversal

**A/N: Thanks all who have reviewed and keep reading! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Until I read the reviews I didn't notice I left the previous chapter as a cliff-hanger...hopefully this chapter will fix that ;)**

**Chapter 6 - Role Reversal**

_5:16pm. _I glanced at the red glare from my alarm clock. I needed to wake up in less than an hour and the only sleep I've gotten tonight is from choppy, short, twenty minute sessions. Every time I was able to partially doze off, I'd wake up and look at the clock to see only a few minutes had passed. I just wasn't tired.

That probably had to do with the blonde latched to my body right now. I was flat on my back and Brittany was hugging me like I was some teddy bear she'd lose in the middle of the night if she didn't keep a tight grip on it. From the awkward angle and my body weight, I'm sure her arm was long asleep and numb. I wanted to move so she wouldn't be sore in the morning, but I was hesitant of shuffling around and waking her up. Instead I remained still and stared at the ceiling.

There were a few reasons I didn't want her waking up. Number one, if she was going to be okay for _Cheerios _practice and have a minimal hangover she needed as much sleep as possible. Number two, I liked her hugging me like this. It felt comfortable and secure. Like she needed me. I didn't want her waking up and pulling away. And number three, I didn't want her knowing I was awake for reasons I can't even explain to myself.

I hadn't fallen asleep like this. No. I fell asleep curled in a ball and turned away from her. But after my first twenty-minute-nap-interval I woke up to find her leaching to me. Her head was resting on my shoulder and my arm wrapped around to her back. I felt every soft and rhythmic breath she let out brush against my collarbone. And occasionally when those breaths would pause, I would hold my breath, and wait to see if she had woken up. But she never did.

Most of her body had dried from her shower, but her damp hair stuck to me. I probably should have braided it for her so she didn't wake up with tangles. My hand involuntarily curled up from behind her and began brushing through the wet kinks in her hair. I hadn't consciously decided to do this; it was something that had grown into a habit with me. Whenever I could, I would touch Brittany. I would play with her hair, rest my legs on her, lean on her, link pinkies with her. Things we always have done.

She let out a heavy sigh and burrowed further into me. Her face dug deeper into the crook of my neck and her grip tightened impossibly tighter around my torso. The sudden pressure caught me off guard. I choked on my air and let out a whispered cough.

I knew the noise wasn't loud enough to wake her, but my reverberating chest shook her awake. "Britt." I said as she grumbled and tried to again nest closer to me. "Britt I can't breathe."

"What?" Her voice was rasp and dehydrated.

"You're squeezing too tight Britt." I squirmed within her vice-grip.

Without having to ask again, she lifted her top arm off and dragged her bottom arm out from underneath me. My chest responded by filling with oxygen while she sat up and feverishly rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands.

"What happened?" She groaned. "I'm thirsty."

I flipped the comforter off and swung my legs over the side of my bed. My lamp was only an arm's length away, but I refused to turn it on. Light meant it was time to wake up, and if it was still dark outside I was going to wait out every second of my unsatisfactory-nights-sleep.

When I returned from the bathroom with a cup of water, she was still sitting up on my bed. I was surprised she hadn't fallen back asleep. I handed her the cup and took a seat on the same side of the bed as her.

She drank the cup in on breath and I regretted not filling it to the rim. I figured she would have spilt it. She set the cup on my nightstand and used the back of her hand to wipe the stray water from her lips.

"Do we have school?" Brittany asked as she looked out the window.

"Yeah. Not for a couple of hours though." I rubbed her back. I knew exactly how a hangover felt, especially with little sleep. "You should go back to sleep. I can wake you up when we need to start getting ready." My hand continued to brush across the middle of her back. When she didn't respond I assumed the worst. "Do you gotta puke?" I asked and rubbed her back harder.

"No." Brittany responded and looked back out the window.

"What's wrong then?" I scooted closer to her. One leg was tucked underneath me, and the other was hanging off the side of the bed.

"Jake only invited me over to have sex." Brittany shifted uncomfortably. Her hands folded in her lap. "We didn't even eat chicken nuggets. Just Jello."

My hand stopped massaging her back and I reached for her hands in her lap. I grabbed them both and held them in between my own hands. It took me a moment to find the right words to say. Words that didn't involve, _I told you so _or _that's what you get for sleeping around. _"Are you okay?" I settled with asking a question.

"Fine." Brittany shrugged.

"Did you…" I couldn't bring myself to ask the full question.

But she understood. "No…I walked here. I told them I had to use the bathroom and snuck out the window. They probably thought I was pooping."

I laughed and wished she could have seen my smile through the dark bedroom. But she got the gist of it and laughed along with me. "Next time call me. I'll come pick you up."

"Okay." Brittany said. I knew she would have called me if she had thought about it. Brittany tends to be a little one-track-minded. She sets her sights on one thing and does it. So I wasn't about to make her feel bad for not thinking about me, when in fact she was going out of her way to get to my house.

"Let's get some sleep, yeah?" I said with no intentions of actually sleeping. I knew I'd return back to laying and waiting for the time I would have to get up and start getting ready.

She nodded and pulled my comforter back over her. As she snuggled into her pillow I crawled across the bed and wormed myself back under my side of the comforter.

As I closed my eyes I felt the bed shift and Brittany's body press against my own. She returned to resting her head on my shoulder and her palm on my stomach. She didn't grab onto me though. Not yet anyway.

"Thanks San." Brittany spoke into my neck. After the few minutes with my eyes closed I hadn't noticed how close she had gotten. "For tonight." She whispered.

_Those _words sent chills throughout my body. She must have felt my body tremble, because she scooted closer. "Are you cold?"

_No Britt, just slightly turned on, _I thought to myself. "I'm okay." I answered.

Brittany shifted again and moved so her face was almost pressed against my cheek. Despite her closeness, I kept my eyes closed. We lay like that for a few minutes. Motionless. I stared into the inside of my eyelids and felt her staring at me. I knew she wasn't sleeping, because I didn't hear the change in her breathing.

"Are you awake?" Brittany spoke so softly I had to strain to hear her.

I didn't respond. I wanted to, but I wanted to at least get ten minutes of sleep before I was forced to wake up completely.

Her hand crossed over my body and her fingers began tickling my opposite shoulder. She pulled her finger tips up from my elbow to my bicep, and dragged her nails back down. I couldn't help but shuffle.

"You're awake." She concluded.

I still didn't answer.

"San I'm bored. I know you're awake." I could imagine her lip pouting and her puppy dog eyes.

I smiled, but remained still.

"Let's do something." Brittany suggested.

"Like what?" I asked. "It's five in the morning and we have to get up in a little."

When she didn't immediately answer I assumed she had given up. Her hand continued to tickle my arm.

Too curious to pass up the opportunity I peeked open one eye and saw her head still resting on my shoulder and her eyes glued to the hand she was using to tickle my arm. I would give anything to know what she was thinking at that moment.

Without warning, her hand jumped from my arm and back to my stomach. She clasped a handful of my t-shirt and pulled it just above my belly button. Her finger tips swam across my skin. This time the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.

I scooted closer to her.

"Want me to finish that leg massage?" She spoke into my ear.

The question brought me back to the other night. I wanted that feeling back. I wanted her chest pressed against me and I wanted her hands on me. "If you want." I tried to play it cool.

She shot up with excitement. I opened my eyes to watch her crawl over me and settle on her knees in between my spread legs. Her movement had moved the comforter off of us and left me cold and exposed. If it weren't for the dark room I may have been too uncomfortable to let her continue.

Our current situation was both comfortable, and unsettling at the same time. Brittany's _leg massage _had an ulterior motive. I knew she wasn't sitting in between my legs, because that was the best angle to massage my quads. The thought of what she wanted to do made me a little nervous, but I was comfortable enough to swallow those nerves.

I watched her as she studied my legs. This time, instead of wearing sweatpants, I was wearing shorts.

Her hand moved forward and gripped above my knee. Her touch was warm and immediately sent a surprising heat up my leg causing me to squirm.

I stared at her. Anxious for her to continue and getting impatient that she wasn't. Her breathing was shallow, she was taking more gulps than necessary, and she began chewing her bottom lip. Holy crap, _she_ was nervous. She really was thinking about giving me more than a massage. I thought maybe my imagination was running wild, but her nerves are blatantly obvious.

Guilt washed over me. I didn't want _her _being nervous. She didn't have to do anything like this.

I used my arms to pull myself up into a sitting position and pull my legs away from her. She looked confused and before she could ask what I was doing I scooted toward her. "I can do it." I said before I reached her. I had no idea what I was going to actually _do, _but it was better than watching her have a nervous breakdown.

I crawled on top of her and straddled her lap. She was still sitting on her knees, so I had to find a way to fix that. I pushed her body back and she slowly fell with my pressure. I didn't stop until she was flat on her back and I was straddling her center.

It felt odd to have her beneath me. Nothing like Puck. She wasn't desperately grabbing for me or trying to dominate me. Instead she was still and wide eyed.

I leaned down, put my hands on the mattress on either side of her head, and dove straight for her neck. My lips connected with her skin and in response her hands grabbed either side of my waist. I pushed my body flush with hers and felt her heart hammering in her chest. That's when I noticed mine wasn't. I was fine.

"Britt," I stopped. "We can stop."

"Don't." Her hands slid my shirt up and her palms pressed against the bottom of my ribs. Her fingers gripped tightly at my skin.

So I continued. I slid my tongue across her jaw line and felt her tremble beneath me. That drove me wild. It was such a turn on to watch her writhe. I rocked my core against her stomach in an attempt to alleviate some of the tension I was building up.

Eventually I made it to her lips. Her teeth urgently caught my bottom lip and pulled me into her. I let out a heavy moan into her mouth and followed by synchronizing my lips with hers.

Her hand pulled away from my waist and locked behind my neck. Her strength pulled me even further into the bruising kiss. My tongue dove out and flicked across her bottom lip. That distracted her and she loosened her grip around my neck giving me enough room to squeeze my arm in between us. I grabbed the elastic band of the shorts she was wearing and held them for a moment. I wanted to make sure she didn't disapprove of my advance.

My hand trickled further down the outside of her shorts and stopped just above her center. I pressed against her and massaged. The shorts moved in with my fingers and easily slid with my movement. I could feel how wet she was. _Did I really do that to her?_

With the pressure of my hand she stopped her kissing and let out a stifled gasp in my mouth. I continued rubbing small circles on the outside of her shorts and she continued to try and kiss me. The faster I rubbed, the harder it was for her to keep her lips connected with mine.

By now the shorts were sticking to her and it was almost as if they weren't there. I wanted to move my hand inside them, but I was afraid if I broke contact I couldn't get Brittany _going _again. So I continued to rub, knowing I had found that spot.

She had almost completely given up on my lips. She was letting out soft moans into the side of my neck and her hands were desperately grabbing at my skin.

My wrist was cramping, but I started moving even faster. She had to be close and I wasn't going to abandon her just because I was a little uncomfortable.

Her body froze and her nails dug into the back of my neck. She pulled down me so her mouth was against my cheek. Her broken gasp and her spasms lasted for awhile. I could tell she was trying to keep quiet. When she stopped I pulled my hand away, but remained on top of her.

"I can't believe I just did that." I said aloud on accident. "I shouldn't have done that. Why? Why? Stupid. I'm so sorry." The words flooded out, without me knowing how to stop them.

I slowly sat up on top of her and slid off.

"Don't be sorry." Britt sat up, unsure of how to comfort or react to my reaction. She was out of breath.

"I just…this is just…we're just-"

She cut me off. "We're friends Santana." Brittany tried to sound reassuring after I had given her what I was sure was her first orgasm.

xxxxXXXXXxxxxx

"He's not coming." Rachel walked into the choir room holding a tray of cookies. I was sitting next to Brittany and Quinn.

After our _morning, _Brittany and I got ready and headed to school. Neither of us made a big deal about what had happened. We acted bizarrely normal about it. Like it was something we could do whenever we were _bored. Friend with benefits._

"What happened?" Finn stopped playing the piano and everyone looked at Rachel.

"He told me I was right and said he wasn't coming." Rachel answered.

"Of course he doesn't want anything to do with us after you kicked him in the 'nads!" Finn yelled.

"Then why did he thank me?" Rachel pointed to the cookies she had set on top of the piano.

When nobody spoke up, I decided it was my turn. "The goal is to win, and now that Mr. Shuester has agreed to let us hire Dakota Stanley, we can." I smiled at Quinn.

"But he doesn't want us to. He just doesn't have the confidence to coach us anymore." Finn said. "Guys are real sensitive when it comes to this kind of stuff."

"And that's my fault?" Rachel's voice rose.

"You see anyone else in here with a plate of "I'm sorry" cookies? I don't. Just you." Finn accused.

I again felt guilty. I was the one who should be holding those cookies. Not Rachel.

Quinn jumped up from her seat, clearly uncomfortable with the concept of Rachel and Finn even talking to each other. "I'm bored. All those in favor of hiring Dakota Stanley." She looked around the room.

Everyone raised their hand, except for Finn.

The school bell rang and everyone grabbed their bags. I waited for Quinn and Brittany. The three of us were the last in the choir room.

"Is this really a good idea?" I asked Quinn.

I looked to find support from Brittany, but she was over by the piano and eating the plate of cookies Rachel had left behind.

"It's what Sue wants." Quinn robotically answered.

"Dakota Stanley is cruel. He'll have everyone in tears after the first five minutes." I kept my eyes on Brittany as I spoke to Quinn. She was now shoving her third cookie into her mouth.

"And you're not cruel?" Quinn looked up at me, forcing me to look away from Brittany. "Just today you told me that if I was a Barbie I'd be _That-Time-of-The-Month-Barbie. _And you said Rachel looks like something from Rocky Horror."

"Whatever." I shrugged off her comment.

"Exactly." Quinn looked over at Brittany. "Hey. If you eat all those cookies, coach will see your love handles."

Brittany stopped chewing the cookie in her mouth and spat it back onto the plate.

Quinn gave her a disgusted look and turned back to me. "Sue wants to see us later." She hiked her bag up on her back and left the choir room.

As soon as she left Brittany grabbed another cookie and shoved it in her face. I knew that no matter how much she ate, her body would stay fit. She worked out far too much for it not to. Images of her body beneath me flashed in my mind. I had to fight off the urge to dash toward her, tear off her _Cheerios _uniform and rub myself against her abs.

"Quinn's just jealous." I encouraged Brittany to finish her cookie. "Eat all the cookies you want."

Brittany grabbed the remaining cookie and linked arms with me as we walked out of the choir room.

"Want to hang out again tonight?" Brittany asked.

"We didn't hang out last night. You came by at midnight and then slept." I pointed out.

"Want to hang out then?" Brittany asked without taking her focus off of the cookie.

"Maybe." I answered. I was still a little confused about what had happened and why it had happened.

A group of guys stepped in front of us, all wearing letterman jackets, and forced us to stop. "Hey." It was Karofsky and the other two guys from the party.

"What do you want?" I rolled my eyes.

"Just saying hi." His smirk told otherwise.

I waited for him to continue, and when he didn't I grabbed Brittany's hand and began to lead her away from them.

"And asking _Brittany _if she would like to join me in an empty classroom." Karofsky said to our backs.

I stopped dead in my tracks. I could feel venom seething within me. I spun around and stepped right in front of Karofsky's face. "What did you say pig-roast?" I spat.

"She's just giving it away to anyone, I'm on the football team, and it's my turn." He smiled at his friends.

My arms made contact with his chest and I pushed him back into the lockers. I was about to continue my attack until I felt Brittany's arm grab around my own. She began dragging me away. "Say that again chubbs and see what happens!" I yelled down the hall.

Everyone watched as I bashed and flailed around in Brittany's arms. But she was stronger than me and easily pulled me away. I didn't stop my fury until I realized we were inside my car and I was sobbing. Hiccups forced themselves in my throat and my face burned.

Through my tears I could see Brittany awkwardly sitting in the passenger seat. Her hand was on my knee, but she didn't know what else to do. It was the exact position we had been in before, except that she wasn't the one crying.

I tried to slow my breaths and stop my sobs. To help I pressed my forehead against the steering wheel. I knew I was acting stupid and overdramatic, but I couldn't stop. Brittany placed a hand on my back and began rubbing.

"It's okay San." Brittany finally said something. "He's just being dumb. You know that."

And I did know that. His words replayed through my mind again. _She's just giving it away to anyone. _"I know," I choked out. "It's not true." I tried to convince myself.

"I know." Brittany said.

Slowly my crying subsided. I pulled away from the steering wheel. Brittany was staring at me with more concern than I had ever seen. It reminded me that she does care.


	7. Interruptions

**A/N: Okay so here's another chapter. I did end up jumping a few episodes just to get the ball rolling. I want to keep things slow, but I also want to eventually make it to season 2! I hope this chapter is up to snuff! Please read and review. Input is always exciting. **

**Chapter 7 : Interruptions**

After what I would consider a miniature nuclear explosion I've changed my attitude. Basically I've set myself on auto-pilot. I can't be the girl who is overly-sensitive or falls for her best friend. I need to keep things simple. For starters I need to let my feelings for Brittany remain platonic…even if our actions tell otherwise.

We haven't technically _done_ anything since that night at her house a few weeks ago, but we haven't been shy towards each other by any means. It's like we're both teasing each other, until the other one caves-in. It's like a game to us. And for me, the game works better without feelings. I've always worked better that way. No way in hell am I having another hysterical crying session.

As for everything else, Dakota Stanley didn't bring down the Glee Club and now Sue has us busier than ever trying to destroy it. Brittany and I on the other hand have grown to like Glee. Even a few of the football players, including Puck, joined Glee and are enjoying it. And acting as a double-agent increases justification for my auto-pilot state of mind. Just do. I don't need reasons behind anything. Do what Sue asks, but have fun in Glee at the same time.

To make things simple I dumped Puck, but still sleep with him. I also spend minimal brain capacity on the new knowledge that Quinn is pregnant. Yes, she was hypocritical and judgmental for criticizing my extra-curricular activities, but now that she is _with-child_ it's only a matter of time before I'm head cheerleader. Particularly now that Sue knows of Quinn's pregnancy and kicked her off the _Cheerios. _The only feelings I could bring myself to express were feelings of relief. With Quinn out, I was top-dog. I also couldn't help but be relieved at the fact that I _wasn't _the one who got pregnant. _How the hell did I get that lucky?_

As for my feelings right now…I'm annoyed. Mr. Shuester is forcing us to sell stupid cupcakes to the student body in order to raise money for Artie. I don't understand why he can't have his dad drive him to Sectionals. Not only that, but we were also being forced to wheel around in stupid wheelchairs. It's embarrassing.

I was sitting next to Quinn, Puck and Finn. The four of us were the most popular kids in the school and we are sabotaging our own reputations in the name of a bake sale. _Since when did I sacrifice myself for anything? _What made it worse was that nobody was buying any of the stupid cupcakes. They were just sitting in front of us while the icing was getting crusty.

"These cupcakes suck!" Finn threw a cupcake with red icing back onto our table.

"It's not about the cupcakes. It's about us." Quinn spoke the exact words I was thinking. "Nobody wants to buy from losers. We're in Glee Club and in wheelchairs."

"She has a point." Puck added. "Six months ago I could've sold 50 of these things on fear alone"

I halfway listened to their conversation, but my attention had been focused toward Brittany. She was walking toward us and talking to Becky. While I never really paid much attention to Becky, Brittany went out of her way to talk to her. In some ways, Brittany and I were complete opposites. She was super sweet and adorable, and I was a selfish bitch.

"Oh, my God." Quinn startled me. "What is she doing?" I looked over to see everyone's attention was on Brittany and Becky. Thank God Quinn hadn't been talking about me oogling Brittany's legs. I need to be a little more subtle when it comes to staring in public.

"I actually think they're kind of friends." Finn spoke.

"Brittany's always cheating off her test papers in math class." Puck stared at Brittany, and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was…The only difference between our daydreaming was that I knew what she looked like underneath the _Cheerios _uniform. He didn't.

Brittany finally reached our table. "See so many?" She gasped with enthusiasm. "And look how pretty they are, Becky."

"Wow." Becky gawked at the cupcakes. Her red glasses didn't quite fit on her face and a pink beret clipped back her bangs.

"Brittany, you're supposed to be in your wheelchair." I made an attempt to draw attention away from the group's criticism. It's not that hanging out with Becky is necessarily a bad thing, but I didn't want them thinking anything negative about Brittany, whether their negative thoughts were about her copying Becky's math homework or about her being one of the only students who actually gossiped with and befriended Becky. Brittany's sweetness shouldn't be mistaken for something it's not. I also couldn't help but be a little irked by her ability to freely walk about. If I was stuck in this stupid wheelchair, then Brittany had to be stuck in one too.

"I lost it." Brittany simply put.

"Are you a cheerleader? It's so cool." Becky spoke to me. It was the first time she had ever said anything to me. Deep down I always thought she was terrified of me.

A huge smile spread across my face in response and for the first time I was glad that I never went out of my way to pick on Becky.

"So is buying a cupcake. That's really cool." Brittany winked at me.

"But I don't have any money." Becky looked up at Brittany. I never noticed how tall Brittany was. She's a tall hot blonde…

"That's okay. I have some." Brittany pulled her wallet out of her backpack and handed Becky a dollar.

_Great…_Brittany's giving these clowns even more of a reason to judge her. She's actually buying a cupcake...

"Thank you," I said quietly as I grabbed the dollar and handed Brittany the cupcake.

As soon as Becky took her cupcake and left Brittany turned back to us. "So how much do we have now?"

"Well, with this one dollar, we have one dollar." Finn put the dollar in our lockbox.

"This is ridiculous." Quinn blurted.

I tuned out Quinn and Finn's baby argument and watched Brittany pull a chair up from another table. She set her backpack against my wheelchair and placed her hand on the table in front of me, taunting me. She knew if she put it there I would want to reach out for it. It's something she always did.

I didn't turn my attention back to Quinn and Finn, until Finn stood up, kicked his wheelchair away and stormed off. Quinn sighed, backed her wheelchair up, and followed him. I was left at the table with Brittany and Puck.

"That's cheating." Brittany stared at Finn's tipped over wheelchair. "He can't just walk whenever things get tough."

"Says the girl who lost her wheelchair." I tried to say it with as little cattiness as possible.

"I did though," Brittany pouted. "I-"

Puck interrupted. "Please don't argue I'm tired of listening to those two complain and if I'm sitting at the table with two hot cheerleaders I want to talk about other stuff."

"Like what?" I raised an eyebrow. _Since when has Puck ever worried about what people talked about?_

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Let's play truth or dare."

"Yeah." Brittany cheered. "I love that game. I want to go first."

I shook my head at them. Typical Puck trying to turn every conversation into something _sexual, _and typical Brittany becoming excited at the thought of playing a game.

"Truth or dare San?" Brittany tapped me on the arm.

"Neither." I didn't look at her. "I don't want to play."

She didn't even hesitate before asking the same question to Puck.

"Dare." Puck chuckled. _God…he's such a dousche. _

"I…dare you to pick up that wheelchair, while still sitting in your wheelchair." Brittany pointed to Finn's abandoned wheelchair.

"No." Puck scoffed. "That's a stupid dare. You suck at this game." He paused for a moment and then continued. "Truth or dare," he looked at Brittany.

"Double dare." Brittany smiled. "It's double the daring. It means I _have _to do it no matter what."

"Oh God." I whispered to myself.

"Ha." Puck laughed. "I dare you to take your bra off."

"Hell no." I interjected. "Brittany do not do that." I may have turned over a new leaf and vowed to stay out of Brittany's life in a jealous sense, but no way was I going to let that go down in the middle of the student body.

"Why not?" Puck said. "Fine you take your bra off." He smiled at me.

"No."

"Whatever. I got plenty of yours at my house." He sneered.

"We need to get going Britt." I looked away from Puck and at Brittany. "Lots of homework."

Brittany and I exchanged a smile. We knew that homework meant a movie at her place. And the past few movie nights have turned into a little more than _just a movie night. _Nothing to scandalous. Just extreme cuddling and amazing erotic massages.

I backed my wheelchair up from the table, but stopped trying to maneuver once Brittany was behind me and pushing. I guess her losing her wheelchair has its upsides. For starters, she can push me around. "Let's drop this off in the locker room and then head to your place." I said to Brittany and pointed to my chair.

We weaved through the hallway and I zoned out until Brittany spoke. "Why do I suck at truth and dare?"

"Its truth _or_ dare Britt. And you don't suck. You just didn't ask the right question." I responded. "Everyone expects you to ask dirty or dangerous things. That's the whole point of the game."

"I still don't get it." Brittany said. We finally reached the empty locker room and she stopped me in between a row of lockers. Bags and backpacks rested along and underneath some of the benches, while empty deodorant containers littered the floor.

"Ugh," I adjusted myself in the stiff chair. "Okay. Truth or dare?" I asked.

"Dare!" Brittany jumped with joy and rounded my chair to stand in front of me.

A smirk rose with the corner of my mouth. Brittany was so easy to manipulate. "I dare you to do something unexpected." It was my favorite dare to ask people, because it required little creativity on my part and always proved to be entertaining.

Brittany immediately bent over and pressed her lips against mine. She pulled away from the short kiss and folded her hands behind her back just like a little girl who was trying to sweet talk her way towards an extra scoop of ice cream.

My mouth was caught halfway open and my eyes were gawking. I scanned the locker room to make sure that it was in fact empty. The showers were silent, the lockers were abandoned, and all the gym doors were closed. "Britt." I whispered. "We're at school."

"Yeah so. Nobody is here. My turn." Brittany said. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth." I played along. I almost picked dare, but I was too afraid of what she would make me do.

She thought for a moment, clearly not expecting me to pick truth. I could almost see the wheels spinning in her head trying to find the perfect question in response to her unexpected kiss. "Do you want me to kiss you again?"

The question was so unanticipated I almost choked on my spit. _What has gotten into Brittany?_ I guess all our teasing had caused her to crack first. I wasn't complaining though. "Sure." I said after I scanned the empty locker room for a second time.

She stepped toward me, used my shoulders for support, and rested on knee on either side of my lap until she was straddling me. This chair definitely offers an interesting scenario. She carefully scooted until her stomach was almost pressing against my face, at which point she sat on my lap. Her arms hung and rested on my shoulders.

"This is hot." She crinkled her nose and laughed. My stomach turned and immediately I heated up.

I put my hands on her thighs and slowly rubbed up and down her contracted muscles. I loved the feeling of her legs and I suddenly loved that we were required to wear our _Cheerios _uniforms to school. These skirts don't exactly cover up much.

Her lips connected with mine. It was our first kiss since her bedroom a few weeks ago and that thought only intensified things even more. Her tongue rhythmically dipped in and out of my mouth as her center dug into my thighs.

Her passion was unexpected. She hadn't been this intense in her bedroom, she had been nervous. Even in the _Cheerios _photocopy room she wasn't this avid. She pulled back to take a heavy breath and returned to my lips again. This time her kiss was slower and more deliberate. She took a break and held my bottom lip in between her lips before diving back in with her tongue.

Her body started rocking into mine and she was pressing her center harder and harder onto my lap. Each time she ground against my thigh she let out a soft breath into my mouth.

Her rocking deepened and the wheelchair rolled. She jumped off me to keep from falling and I grasped the wheels to stop myself from crashing into the lockers. "Geez Britt what's gotten into you?" I was out of breath.

She ignored my question and knelt in front of me. Her hands made contact with my inner thighs and slowly crept upward. "Scoot forward." She demanded.

I listened, because I wasn't used to her telling me what to do. Her hands grabbed my spankies and forcefully tugged them down below knees. She moved so quickly that I didn't even have time to comprehend that I was sitting in front of her without anything covering me. I felt her finger tips rub the length of my folds and I let out a gasp as every muscle in my leg twitched.

I could tell she was a little unsure of how to touch me, but just the very fact of her touching me sent me up the wall. I wasn't used to being touched. Puck and all the other guys just sort of went for it.

Impulsively I jerked forward wanting her hand to touch even more of me. She recognized this and smiled. Her hand found the same spot I had found on her that night a few weeks back. Without anything in between her hand and me I couldn't help but let out another soft gasp.

She continued to make small circles with her fingers and I continued to slowly inch myself closer to her, figuring if I could get just a little closer maybe she would move faster.

Without warning she stopped. I wanted to ask why, but I felt that question might have been a little awkward. Before I had time to think of an appropriate question she yanked my spankies all the way off and dropped them to the floor. Slowly she began trailing kisses up, starting at the inside of my knee. Her lips felt soft on my skin. Softer than I had expected.

I couldn't help but notice my heart jack hammering inside my chest. Her soft kisses stopped in the middle of my thigh and she grabbed both of my calves and draped my legs over her shoulder. Her kisses continued. I rested back against my elbows. The position I was in was more than uncomfortable, but it was a sacrifice I willing to make. My back was cramping, my arms were quivering from holding my weight, and my neck was straining in order to watch Brittany.

Her slow and deliberate pace was almost sending me over the edge. I couldn't imagine what would happen the second her lips touched me.

_Crack_. A door slammed open and sent Brittany diving backwards and me tumbling to the cement floor of the locker room. I frantically snatched my discarded spankies and pulled them up just in time to see Quinn round the corner.

"What the hell are you guys doing on the floor?" Quinn questioned.

Brittany was against an opposite row of lockers with her back pressed flat against the metal doors. I was awkwardly laying in the middle of the aisle with my wheelchair a few feet away from me. "I fell." I pushed myself up from the ground and adjusted my skirt at the same time.

"Yeah." Brittany stood up as well. "We were seeing how fast I could push Santana."

I was a little impressed at Brittany's quick thinking. It was actually a believable story and something we would probably do.

Quinn shrugged off our randomness and continued to speak. "You guys are so weird sometimes."

"We would have asked you to join," I shrugged. "But your baby might not have liked that." It felt safer to push away from the topic of us awkwardly strewn across the locker room floor instead of leave it hanging.

"It'd be like a baby roller coaster." Brittany smiled.

Quinn ignored us and opened her locker.

"What are you doing?" I asked as she pulled out her workout clothing and _Cheerios _sweats.

"Cleaning out my locker. If I'm not on the team, then there's no need for me to keep this stuff in here." Quinn said softly.

I exchanged a shrug with Brittany, but noticed Brittany's shrug didn't have the same meaning as mine. She looked like she felt bad for Quinn. Before I had time to stop her Brittany spoke, "You can come over to my house and do homework with me and Santana."

While Quinn had her head shoved in her locker I violently shook my head _no _at Brittany.

"No thanks." Quinn said. "I have plans tonight."

"With your baby daddy? I still don't see how _Finnoscense_ knocked you up. You are Miss Celibate and he's such a-"

"Virgin." Brittany said for me.

"Clearly he's not a virgin or I wouldn't be pregnant right now." Quinn turned around and crossed her arms.

"I'm just saying." I held up my hands in defense.

"Well quit saying, because clearly you know nothing. I let someone touch me just once and I get pregnant, while you let everyone in the school screw you and you're perfectly fine."

"What'd you say to me?" I walked toward Quinn and got my face as close to her as possible. "Chúpame, puta."

"I said," Quinn didn't back down. "You get away with being a slut, both you and Brittany." She nodded toward Brittany who stood doe-eyed and baffled.

"You are begging to get your ass kicked." I hissed in her face.

"Don't hurt the baby San." Brittany awkwardly yelled across to us.

I sneered and stepped back. "Right."

I turned and grabbed Brittany's hand, leading her out of the locker room. As soon as we walked back into the hall I let go of her hand and linked pinkies with her. My face felt like it was on fire and my palms were clammy. Quinn knew exactly what to say to piss me off, and one of those things would be calling Brittany a slut.

Brittany must have known how furious I was because she pulled my hand up with her pinkie and grabbed it with her opposite hand. I didn't become paranoid by her touch since I've come to accept the fact that us holding hands in the hallway was something that is normal, just as long as it appears innocent. Nobody _ever _questioned it, and for me to question it and stop doing it might get people to think we were fighting...

"It's okay San. Quinn's just having a hard time with the baby stuff." Brittany stroked the back of my hand.

"Hey, hey!" A man yelled down the hallway. "Break it up! Break it up!"

I dragged Brittany down the hall and around the corner to see Mr. Shuester holding apart Puck and Finn. They'd clearly been involved in a little brawl. I pulled Brittany to the front of the crowed but wasn't able to hear their conversation.

Puck stormed toward us and broke in between me and Brittany. I watched him round the corner and turned back to Mr. Shuester to see him consoling Finn. _Why is everyone acting so crazy?_

Clearly too late for any excitement I linked pinkies with Brittany and began leading her away from the fight and towards my car. We made it outside before Brittany started asking me questions. "I wonder why they were fighting. I wonder why you wanted to fight Quinn." She indirectly questioned me.

"Because Britt." I sighed. "She called us sluts."

"But we are." Brittany didn't seem to care.

"Whether we sleep around or not isn't the point. She shouldn't be calling you that. Slut sounds so, dirty." We continued through the parking lot.

"You're mad for her calling me a slut, not for her calling you one? I'm probably more of a slut than you." Brittany still took the situation light-heartedly.

"Britt." I almost yelled at her. "You're not a slut." Repressed feelings started to surface. The thought of her sleeping and doing stuff with whoever was available resurfaced. I can't go down that road again. I quickly shoved it back down, and remembered that I was the same damn way.

"Okay." She agreed.

"I don't like her saying that stuff. That's all." I tried to explain myself.

"Okay." Brittany agreed again.

I stopped at my car and waited till she crossed to the passenger side. "Maybe I was just a little on edge. I probably shouldn't threaten her and her baby." I spoke over the roof of my car.

"Why are you on edge?" Brittany asked.

_Because she almost caught you fingering me…_

"Is it because she almost caught us." Brittany casually read my mind.

"Uh," I was lost for words. "I guess. Yeah. I mean we shouldn't be doing that at school anyway."

I unlocked my door and crawled into the driver seat.

When she got in and shut the door she spoke. "It makes it way hotter. Not that it's not usually hot. But two of the three times we've done something, we've done it on school grounds. School is like you're kryptonite." Brittany smiled.

"How is school my kryptonite? Just because I got a little worked up doesn't mean it's some type of fantasy of mine."

Brittany laughed. "You have fantasies about me. Like what?"

"To be honest Britt," I started. "I don't think much farther than the get-ir-done aspect of it all." I lied. I had indeed been fantasizing about her when she walked up with Becky to buy a cupcake earlier that day.

"Well I have fantasies about you. Like when I kiss other people, but I told you that already. And sometimes in class-" Brittany jumped as someone rapped on her window.

She rolled it down to find Rachel Berry standing outside.

"Don't touch my window Jewetta McJewerson," It was the first thing that popped into my head.

"We don't have your dreidel." Brittany said with a straight face.

"I was just reminding you that Glee rehearsal will be in the auditorium tomorrow afternoon since you two didn't seem to be paying much attention today. While I would prefer you didn't show at all, it's not beneficial for the team to be short two members when Sectionals is right around the corner."

"Okay bye." I rolled the window up in her face.

We watched her walk away. My phone vibrated and I flipped it open. I had text message from Puck.

_Football guys r having a bonfire tonight. Marks house. Come._

"Sweet." I said as I closed the phone. "Bonfire tonight. Wanna go?"

"Yeah fun!" Brittany responded.

I was a little bummed that I couldn't have my movie night with Brittany, but that quickly faded once I remembered what happened at the last party we went to.

**A/N: I so very much apologize for the teaser...you must all hate me. I hate myself for doing it, but I always get writing and feel like its not quite the right time yet. Next chapter should be a little better. :)**


	8. Out of Character

**A/N: I want to first apologize for the late update! I've had a chapter ready for a few days now and just now was able to upload it...I was having document manager problems :/ Second, I want to thank everyone for their reviews! I really really really appreciate them. I hope you enjoy this chapter, because it was the most difficult chapter yet. For some reason I had an impossible time getting started, but it ended up being one of my longest chapters! Please review and enjoy :)**

**Chapter 8 : Out of Character**

Mark's house is pure insanity. To say that his family is wealthy is an understatement. Their backyard is the size of Texas, they have four massive white stone pillars stationed around the front porch that hold the second story deck up, and their swimming pool is almost big enough to fit the entire population of Lima, Ohio.

Half of the school had been invited and by now everyone was drunk or well on their way. It's probably a good thing that Mark decided on having a bonfire outside instead of a party inside, because either I would steal something or Brittany would break something. Not to mention the drunk mass of students would destroy everything they lay their hands on.

The fire pit was at least a quarter of a mile out in the backyard. And instead of being a typical pile of sticks and dead grass, the fire was actually burning inside a hand-made stone well. For Mark's birthday his parents built it for him. They assumed it was better that his parties were as far away from their expensive mansion as possible.

I found all of this pointless crap out while Mark sat with Brittany and me and spilled his life story. The only reasons I didn't immediately shoo him away was because he was giving us alcohol like it was candy, Brittany seemed to be enjoying his company, and I'm not exactly sure how appropriate it would be for me to get jealous over a guy talking to her after what happened in the locker room earlier…I'm still not sure why or how that even happened.

My signals were mixing and going haywire. _Did I want Brittany because I just like having people close, or is it more? _We've always been close, but lately I've wanted more. I want her to tease me during school, just enough so nobody else notices. I want her to convince me that nobody will catch us fooling around in the locker room. And I want her to stop paying attention to this stupid football player.

"I'm thirsty." I interrupted his flirting. I couldn't take it anymore. Each passing minute he kept scooting on the log closer and closer to Brittany, and gradually increasing my revulsion for him. Brittany wasn't perceptive enough to notice his advances…I was. I noticed when he would occasionally dip his eyes down and catch a peek at her legs. He was waiting for her to shift her position and give him a up close and personal peep show. These _Cheerios _skirts were more than equipped to tease and I've been in front of dozens of guys who did the same exact thing Mark was doing.

Or he would lean in towards her when he had something to say. I knew it was loud around us, but that sure as hell didn't mean he had to get closer to her. He could just talk louder.

"Oh," Mark pulled his eyes off of Brittany and locked them on me. "I can grab you another beer from the cooler." He stood up.

"No. I want something better. I'm sure you're parents have a liquor cabinet with something a little classier than beer that comes in bulk. That's unless all this expensive stuff is for show and you're parents are drowning in debt. Is that why you didn't want anyone inside the house?" I paused and smirked. "Because it's empty."

"I, uh. There's a liquor cabinet." He stuttered.

"Me and Britt want something from it." I grabbed her arm and linked it with mine. I knew the combination of my bitchiness and saying Brittany _wanted _something would have him doing whatever I said.

"Yeah. This beer tastes like Lord Tubbington's pee." Brittany set her empty can on the ground. I couldn't help the momentary genuine smile that invaded my smirk. Brittany's cat has always been an odd interest of hers and I loved the fact that she used it to echo my insult and demand. Even though her remark wasn't as straight forward as mine she always knew what and when to say things, even if it was a little odd.

"Okay. I'll be right back." Mark turned and quickly scurried toward his house.

I scooted closer to Brittany causing the back of my legs to scratch across the log. Thinking back, it probably would have been a good idea to change out of our _Cheerios _skirts and into something a little warmer. We were stuck in that awkward limbo where it was chilly outside, but we couldn't get close enough to the fire without it burning our shins.

But the red and white uniform had purpose behind it other than causing every bone within my body to shiver. They are a status symbol for us. We're rarely were caught without them. It told people that we were popular, pretty, and desirable. I felt naked if I wore anything else. And Sue would have us banished to cheer hell if she ever found out we didn't take the opportunity to flaunt her winning record. I was just thankful that we had remembered to grab our jackets.

"This is kinda lame." I stared into the fire and even though my eyes were starting to dry out, the licking flames had me mesmerized. I was talking about the party. I was only three beers in and not even feeling buzzed. I was cold. And I wanted excitement. After the last party I went to with Brittany, I want anticipated a more outrage and scandal.

"I think bugs are crawling on me." Brittany responded. "Maybe we should walk around."

_Good point_. I guess we have been sitting on the same stupid log for the past hour. Everyone around us seemed to be having fun. They were laughing, tossing random things into the fire, and having drinking competitions. Whoever could drink their beer the fastest didn't have to drink another one..._Honestly, what kind of punishment is that?_

I grabbed our empty beer cans and tossed them into the fire before pulling Brittany up. She linked pinkies with me and before I had the opportunity to decide where I wanted to go, she started dragging me towards a small group of people on the opposite side of the fire.

"Hey Tina." Brittany tapped the Asian on her shoulder. "Where's your boyfriend?"

"Oh hey Brittany." Tina smiled. She turned to me and gave a weak smile. Tina didn't dislike me, but our relationship hadn't grown to the _hello _phase quite yet. I may see her in Glee Club every day, but I never actually gave her the go-ahead to talk to me. "Artie's at home."

Mercedes turned to acknowledge us as well.

"Wheelchair off-roading. I'm glad Mr. Shue didn't make us drive them around for homework." Brittany said.

I looked past Tina and Mercedes to notice Puck talking to a group of guys. If I let Brittany talk to the girls for a little I could run over to Puckerman and start up a short and pointless conversation. Nothing against Mercedes and Tina, but I'm not even sure who invited them… And I'd rather be seen talking to someone a little more popular.

"Be right back Britt." I let go of her pinkie and squeezed myself in between Mercedes and Tina. I didn't want to leave Brittany, but I knew she would be okay with them. And Mark was going to be gone for at least a few more minutes.

"There you are." Puck stopped talking to his friends as I approached. "I was just talking about you." He lightly punched Karofsky's shoulder and laughed.

"Hm." I rolled my eyes. "I bet you were."

"A few of the guys are gonna head over to the pool. You should join. Me and you can share the hot tub." He said this without hesitation in front of Karofsky. It was just how Puck was…never shy about his conquests. I didn't really mind, especially after a few drinks. It was an opportunity for me to flaunt the fact that I had sex with Puckerman, and not anyone listening.

"Sure." I agreed, but silently only agreed to the pool part. I just wasn't in the mood for him. Not after today's events. I noticed Karofsky smile and inwardly cheer. "Uh hell no. You're not invited. It'd be awkward. Plus we don't want all the water spilling over the edge when you get in."

I turned back around and headed toward Brittany before he could respond. It felt almost comforting and relaxing to delve into my old ways. Hit and run insults were my specialty. I squeezed back through Mercedes and Tina and interrupted their conversation with Brittany.

"We're gonna head to the pool Britt." I said without inviting the other girls. No way was I leaving her behind. Plus having her with me might even help fend off Puckerman.

"But I don't know how to play." Brittany responded with less enthusiasm than I anticipated.

I exchanged a look with the other two girls. They gave me a look of confusion and bewilderment, which I didn't reciprocate. I knew exactly what Brittany meant. I just wanted to make sure they didn't say anything that might make Brittany sound stupid.

"Water pool Britt." I corrected her.

"Oh." She paused. "Okay!" There was her enthusiasm. "I've always wanted to swim at night. It's like taking a bath but with people."

Mercedes and Tina once again exchanged looks, but I didn't this time. I trusted that they got the hint from my first glare. Plus I was far too used to Brittany's comments to think twice about every quirky thing she said. I was also stuck on the _bath _concept of her statement. Before I could stop myself a mini bath fantasy featuring Brittany ran through my mind... _How would we both fit in one bath? _

"Let's go." I said this louder than required. It was intended to snap me out of my unsystematic desire, but in reality it had caused everyone to give me a weird look. Like I had just eaten a bug and they were waiting for me to freak out about it.

I linked arms with Brittany and pulled her away before things became even more awkward. We marched through the uneven terrain, occasionally having to weave around small patches of overgrown weeds. Brittany was right about the wheelchair thing. It would been a nightmare to try and get across this.

"We don't have swim suits." Brittany spoke as we reached the pool a few minutes later. A deep glow illuminated the ground floor of the pool and highlighted the expensive marble that outlined it. An unfamiliar shape, possibly crest, was painted on the pool floor.

"That's okay. We have sports bras." I just shrugged. I would much rather be in a scandalous bikini, but I think our spankies and bras will do the trick. "Guys like that kind of stuff." I deciphered.

"It'll be cold." Brittany said as she dropped her coat, slipped off her shoes and began pulling off her socks. I knew she wanted to get in the pool but she was just talking to talk.

"It's heated Britt. Rich people have heated stuff. Heated pools, hot tubs, and heated car seats."

I kicked my shoes off, dropped my coat, and just as I was about to unzip my _Cheerios _top something heavy hurtled into my side. It felt like a train had rammed into me. My insides insisted on staying put, but a heavy impact demanded otherwise. Arms wrapped around me and I was suddenly flying through the air. I slapped the water with my thigh and the immediate change in temperature sent goosebumps across my skin. The momentary pain from the slap of the water was quickly drowned out by the sudden sinking feeling. The unkown person latched to me held tightly and continued to pull me further into the water.

I squirmed and slapped whoever was holding me, but it was useless. The water resistance took away any strength I had. I couldn't move any faster than slow motion so I pressed my palms against the chest of whoever was holding me. I felt rigid abs and ran my hand upward to find a nipple ring. _Puckerman. _I opened my eyes and saw the blurred reflections outside the surface of the water. Brittany looked like a _Jenga _tower that had blocks jutting out unevenly and I even noticed other people crowding around her.

Finally he let me go and I frantically swam up. As soon as I popped above the surface I could hear hooting and laughing over my coughs.

The unexpected dunk had caused a good handful of water to lodge itself inside my lungs. My coughing was uncontrolled and deep. I followed by taking a few compromising gasps.

I poorly swam and grabbed the side of the pool, wiped my eyes, and opened them to find Puckerman swimming towards me. I couldn't decide if I was furious or impressed. But his dorky smile convinced me not to be angry. His hand wrapped around my waist and tugged me into his chest. I tried to struggle and free myself, but I was laughing too hard and still trying to clear my throat of water.

He was taking me to the deep end of the pool. I knew exactly what he was planning on doing. Puckerman knew I wasn't an excellent swimmer. If he pulled me to the deep end I would be forced to cling to him, and he would have free reign to pinch and torture me. It's a trick he learned a long time ago.

"Britt!" I said in between anxious laughs. "Help!" I continued to kick and wriggle. I didn't know who else was outside the pool, but I knew she was the only person who would jump in and legitimately try to help me, instead of helping Puck.

He finally stopped swimming in the middle of the deep end and his hand reached down to pinch the inside of my thigh. I let out a squeal as his fingers grabbed a small piece of my skin. The force of his fingers felt almost like a bite. I wanted to push away and swim toward the pool's ledge, but I was afraid of choking on another gallon of water in the process.

Water splashed in my face and forced me to squint my eyes shut to keep the chlorine from further burning them. With my eyes squeezed shut I felt someone cut in between us and brake my grapple around Puckerman's torso.

For a brief second I was free floating and then began to sink. I couldn't open my eyes and I had nobody to hold onto. My hands lashed out and slapped against someone. Instantly clung to that person. I could feel bare skin and a cloth bra. The skin was so much softer than Puckerman's. Straight away I knew it was Brittany. I forgot I had called for her help.

I wiped the water from my eyes and opened them to find her giggling and shoving away Puckerman. She fought him off and struggled to stay afloat. I was leached onto her back like a hysterically laughing dead weight. If I wouldn't eventually drag her underwater I would have held on, but I looked around for the pool's edge. It was only a few feet away. I could easily make it.

I let go of Brittany and dunked myself. My eyes opened underwater and I saw the abstract pool ledge. It was easier than I expected for me to swim the short distance to the side and safely grab something stable.

I surfaced again and looked back to find Brittany still playing with Puckerman. She was wearing her red sports bra and matching spankies. Not exactly the sexiest swimsuit, but I was right…it was still hot. That's when I remembered I was still wearing my skirt and top. _Great…that'll be a bitch to dry-clean. _

I crawled and pushed myself up on the ledge of the pool. It felt like I was crawling out of sludge. My muscles were stiff and cold and my body was exhausted.

The people who had been hooting at Puckerman and me were already making their way back to the bonfire. Of course we were the only idiots stupid enough to get into the water.

As soon as I was stable and sitting with my legs dangling in the pool I began heaving off my soaking uniform. It was a little more difficult than usual, because the water had caused the fabric to desperately cling to me. I unzipped my top and peeled it off my chest. I then slid my skirt off and tossed the sopping pile behind me.

When I looked back I saw Mark approaching with two huge glasses. He rounded the pool and followed along the illuminated siding. His attention was focused on Brittany's half naked body, but he quickly pulled his attention away to find me again. He finally learned that the only way to Brittany was through me. Make me happy…make her happy.

Mark reached me and handed down one cup. As soon as I set that cup next to me he handed me the second one. I could smell the citrus and vodka immediately. _Good choice. _

"Hope this works." He sat on the edge of the pool with me. After he rolled up his jeans he copied me and hung his legs over into the water.

I just shrugged. He was trying too hard…and if I wasn't careful he was going to take Brittany tonight.

With that thought I picked up the cup and took a healthy swig. I swallowed the alcohol quickly, but it still burned my throat. After the burn had left, my throat remained clenched and defensive. It was stronger than I expected. But I needed to be drunk if I was going to have these thoughts about Brittany…_Or was being drunk escalating these thoughts of her? _Regardless, today was weird and I fix weird by drinking until I can't remember why I felt weird in the first place.

"Wow." I ground my teeth in order to keep the alcohol from coming back up. "That is strong."

"Sorry." Mark immediately apologized. "And sorry if it's a little warm. I put ice in them, but when I set them by the bonfire to try and find you guys they sort of heated up."

_Idiot. _I checked the cup for dirt, fire debris, and bugs only to find liquid and ice cube slivers. Suddenly a brilliant thought popped into my mind. _Why hadn't I thought of it before? _If I can get Mark to pay attention to me…I won't have to worry about him and Brittany. _Genius_.

"It's okay. Strong is good." I lifted the corner of my mouth into a smile. It was the first non-bitchy thing I had said to him all night.

I looked down and began adjusting my sports bra. It didn't need adjusting per say, but it allowed me to pull his attention to my body and away from Brittany's. As I uselessly toyed with the elastic on my bra I could feel the corner of his eyes locked on my chest.

"So Mark…" I looked up at him to indeed find him staring. He casually averted his glance back to Brittany. She was still wrestling in the pool with Puck. "We've never really hung out before."

He gulped. "You're, uh, with Puckerman right?"

"Some nights." I lightly laughed.

I was distracted from my efforts when Puckerman swam away from Brittany and climbed the edge of the pool. He looked over to us, completely clueless to my flirting, and started walking in our direction. I set my cup down and tightly grasped the edge of the pool. No way was I going back in.

"Hey dude. Let's set up the hot tub." He walked past us and tapped Mark on the shoulder.

Mark jumped up and followed him, leaving me, two cups of alcohol, and Brittany. The mention of a hot tub sent shivers throughout my body making the goosebumps return.

Brittany spun around in the middle of the pool until she spotted me. "Where'd they all go?" Her bottom lip jutted out. "Nobody wants to play in the pool."

She gracefully began swimming towards me. Butterflies flooded my stomach. I tried to shoo them away, but I couldn't. They just continued to grow and multiply.

Just before she reached me I turned toward the cups and scooted them back. If she was going to jump up on the ledge I didn't want her spilling our drinks.

Instead of grabbing the marble edging of the pool she grabbed around the back of my legs and pushed her chest against my shins. I didn't think it was possible but even more butterflies filled my stomach. It was either the alcohol (even though I hadn't had a lot) or her, but a brief wave of nausea consumed me.

"What's wrong?" Brittany hugged my legs tighter.

"Nothing." I brushed off the sick feeling and felt my legs heating up. Brittany rested her chin on my lap. "Just drank something too quickly."

"Aww…poor San." She pouted again. "Come swim with me please."

"I can't really swim." I bluntly stated, _but_ more than anything wanted to get in the pool with her. "I'd drown."

"We don't have to swim out far." She loosened her hug around my shins and floated back a little as her legs peddled.

A small gust picked up and swept across my bare and damp skin. I involuntarily shivered and hugged my arms against my body.

"You're freezing San. Come in. The pools heated remember." She moved back toward me and ran her hands against the outside of my thighs.

A sharp pain pulsed throughout my left leg. It felt like someone had hit me with a whip. I looked down to see my thigh was deep red and slightly swollen. Brittany pulled her hand away and kept her eyes wide with fear. Like a puppy who had just accidentally bit your toe.

"Great." I lightly pressed my hand against the swollen part of my thigh. "Just what I need. A huge bruise. Sue's gonna kill me."

"What's it from?" She asked still wide eyed. Her hand slowly reached toward my leg and her finger tips rested on the forming bruise.

"From Puckerman body slamming me into the pool. He's such an idiot." I groaned.

Brittany pulled her finger tips down my thigh and stopped at me knee. She cupped her hands around the back of my knees. "So come in. It'll be fun. I promise." She smiled.

I paused for a moment. By now I had every intention of getting in the pool with her, but I wanted to build the anticipation. I liked watching her beg. For me it was like a game. But I was only able to hold out for so long. As soon as I smiled she knew that she had me.

I scooted forward and dropped into the pool, careful to make sure I kept one hand on the ledge. But it wasn't necessary. The instant my body dropped into the water her hands caught my hips and she directed me back toward the wall. The water was cool but stopped my shivering instantly.

"Okay. I'm in. Are you happy?" I spoke with my lips just above the surface of the water. My hair floated just in front of my mouth.

She moved her face inches for mine. "Very." She whispered. Her lips gestured towards mine.

"Britt we can't. Someone will see us." I scooted away from her and pressed my head back against the concrete siding of the pool.

"No they won't. We'll hear them coming before they see us. Plus we're below the pools edge and against the wall. It's like we're invisible." She scooted closer to me.

And she did have a point. I surveyed the area. We were completely hidden.

"Fine." My legs swung around her waist and crossed behind her back. I used them to pull her even closer. If we were going to do this, then I was going to do what I wanted this time.

Before she had the chance to take control I pressed a short kiss against her lips and pulled away. A smile grew across my face. I leaned in and gave her another short kiss. And another. After the third kiss, when I pulled away I unhooked my legs from around her.

My hand grabbed the pools ledge and began leading me backwards through the water and away from her.

"Hey!" The corner of her lips pulled her smile downward.

This only made me pick up my pace. I giggled, kicked my foot out towards her, and teased her by brushing it against her leg.

She lunged toward me and caused me to let out shrieked laughter, which I immediately stopped, knowing that someone might hear it. I tried to pull myself away quickly, but my laughing was slowing me down.

She caught me. Her hands grabbed my waist and she yanked me away from the pool's ledge. I struggled to get away but my stomach was hurting from laughing and I was out of breath. For a second I thought she was going to drag me out to the middle of the deep end, just like Puckerman had, but just spun with me and her back slammed against the pool siding.

I opened my eyes to find that we were tucked in the corner of the pool. Little laughs escaped both of us as I tried to fight her hands off of my waist. She kept softly pinching around the bottom of my rib cage. They were nothing like Puckerman's pinches. They were soft and teasing. Not hard and demanding.

I was having trouble staying afloat and keeping her fingers from pinching every inch of me. My hand caught the ledge and immediately stabled my panic-hushed giggling.

Her tickling abruptly stopped once she noticed I wasn't laughing anymore. I took a small breath before I pushed my lips against hers. I was desperate and the fact that we were exposed, but so well hidden turned me on more than I thought possible. I used my lips to push and pinch her as far as possible into the pool's corner.

This time when I kissed her I made it a point to dominate. I could feel her lips following mine and feel her gasps against my lips when I would momentarily pull away. Little by little my legs started to clinch the outside of her legs until my center was almost touching her. I'd never straddled someone vertically before. My knees and shins were pressed flat against the rough siding of the pool's wall.

Both of my hands now held the top of the pools ledge. It gave me the mobility to push my body flush with hers.

Her body jerked toward mine and her stomach bumped against my center making me jump at the sensation. I drew in a quick breath and tried to recover, but Brittany knew she had distracted me. The half-second that my body had gone limp, she was able to pinch her hand in between my skin and the skin-tight spankies I was wearing. Her struggle to take control was silent and rapid. Almost if she knew how to overpower me.

I let out another quick breath and gasped into her mouth. "Britt." Her name came out ragged. I jerked as her hand flattened against the length of my core.

She ignored my plea for her to start rubbing and just continued kissing. Her kiss almost felt hypnotic. _How the hell did she do that?_

Her other hand crawled up my stomach and stopped at the bottom of my sports bra. She squeezed on finger underneath the elastic, but the second she tried to move her whole hand underneath the fabric snapped against my skin and denied her.

"Owe." I jumped away from her mouth.

"Sorry." She slid her hand back down my stomach and stopped on my hip.

Before I could laugh the fingers in my spankies traveled up my center, up to my clit, and back down to my entrance. She continued to rub back and forth. Frustrated anticipation and enthusiasm swelled. The feeling of her rubbing me was amazing, but I wanted more. My lips connected with hers again and I began rocking with her fingers.

The motion was slowly heightening me, but it wasn't quick enough.

"Britt." I pulled my lips away from her and eased my rocking. Her eyes slowly opened and she looked dumbfounded. Wet strands of hair were plastered across her cheek. Strands of hair that should have been on the other side of her part. "Put your fingers inside me."

We sat still for a moment. "Are you sure?" She asked quietly.

"Do it." I pleaded.

I moved back into her and started kissing again. This time I moved slowly. Her hand twitched and slowly inched from my clit and back down. She stopped her kiss and pushed on finger inside me.

A moan escaped my mouth and I pushed my body into hers. She slid in a second finger and my body squirmed with the tension. Her lips returned to mine and her teeth bit my bottom lip as she curled her fingers inside me.

My body shuddered. "Fuck." I said it without intending to. One of my hands let go of the pool's ledge and grabbed onto her shoulder. I wanted as much of my skin touching hers as possible.

Her fingers rubbed and curled inside me again. My breaths were tattered and unpredictable. She pulled her fingers out just slightly only to push them back in further. A whimper escaped.

I'd never had someone do this to me, and I couldn't imagine why. I spread my legs a little, but I knew that wasn't the problem. My spankies were only allowing her to push her fingers in so far. _If I could just take them off…_

Her thumb skimmed over my clit and my nails dug into her skin. She took this as a positive sign and began rubbing with her thumb and thrusting her fingers quicker.

My body was too close to her to return to kissing so I just focused on pushing down on her hand.

I knew I didn't have much longer and Brittany knew this. She continued her pace.

I clenched her shoulder and let my body shudder as I did my best to keep from making a noise. As soon as I stopped I let out a heavy gasp into her cheek. She waited a second before pulling her hand from my spankies, I guess making sure that I was really done.

I quickly darted away from her and scanned the area to make sure nobody had seen us. As soon as I was positive that the coast was clear I turned back to her.

"Tha-" I began but was cut off.

"Hey!" A male voice spoke. My heart leaped to my throat and that vomiting sensation returned. I spun around and saw Puckerman walking up. "You comin' or what?"

"Yeah." My voice was shaky and soft. Something completely uncharacteristic for me.

I climbed up the side of the pool and waited for Brittany to follow. As soon as she was up she linked arms with me and we began following Puck toward the hot tub. _Did that really just happen? _

My heart continued to race, and the butterflies had returned. Except this time they felt like they were all dead. I knew my hands were shaking, but I couldn't make them stop. Brittany tightened her grip around my arm. "Are you cold again?" She acknowledged my shivering.

Puckerman continued to walk a safe distance away from us so I knew it was okay to whisper. "Not cold." I responded. I'm sure my body was cold, but that wasn't the reason I was shaking.

"The hot tub will be warmer." Brittany said.

I looked at her. At our matching sports bra and spankies. We must have looked so strange. Walking arm in arm, halfway naked. _Someone's going to notice…_

"I'm fine." I snapped at her, but regretted it.

But she didn't take it personally, and continued to keep a tight hold on me as we approached the hot tub.

I felt robotic as I climbed into the hot tub. I didn't even notice the temperature change as I sunk into the steaming water. I instinctually sat next to Puckerman and leaned my head against his chest. My arms wrapped around his torso, but he didn't return the comfort. He just kept his arms wrapped around the hot tub edge.

Brittany sat on the opposite side with Mark, but they didn't cuddle. At this point I didn't really care. I was confused and my brain wasn't holding thoughts long enough for me to process.

Brittany looked worried. Her eyes caught mine at perfectly timed intervals, and tried to understand why I was acting weird. She would talk with the guys, but always made it a point to check on me. After five minutes of silence I quickly joined into the conversation just to make sure that nobody else noticed I was acting weird. But my comments weren't up to their typical snarkiness. They lacked passion and interest.

After at least twenty minutes my hands were pruning and my body temperature was rising. If I didn't get out of the hot tub soon I was going to get sick. As if sensing my disinterest, Puckerman jumped out of the hot tub.

"I'm gonna head back to the fire." He grabbed a nearby sweatshirt. "Come on Mark. We'll meet them later, I need to get a few more beers in my system."

Mark climbed out of the hot tub. Normally I wouldn't have expected him to follow, but I think Brittany's lack of affection was turning him away. Or maybe it was my previous advance on him that was confusing and detering him.

The guys left and remained in the hot tub with Brittany. Now with the guys gone she didn't pull her eyes away from me, even though I did.

I couldn't take it anymore. "What Britt?"

"Are you sure you're okay?" She looked hurt and I felt bad for acting so weird.

I just nodded my head. I stood up and climbed out of the hot tub. The sudden change in temperature caused me to shiver again. _Shit. _My clothes are soaked and it's freezing outside. The only thing that wasn't wet was my jacket and I wasn't about to go back out to the bonfire wearing a sports bra, spankies, and my _Cheerios _jacket.

Brittany climbed out of the hot tub and waited for me to say something or give her direction. When I didn't she spoke. "I can grab you're jacket." She said and walked away toward the pool.

I just stood there, shivering. My muscles were starting to hurt. She returned carrying her dry uniform and our jackets in one arm, and my soaking uniform in the other. She dropped the wet cheer uniform and helped me into my coat. The dryness felt good.

She quickly slipped on her dry uniform. I knew she considered, and, would have given me her uniform if it would fit, but they were too form fitting to fit someone they didn't belong to.

Her hand placed in the center of my back and began leading me toward the pool. I wasn't really sure where we were going, but I didn't want to leave. "I don't want to leave." I said it quickly.

"Okay." Brittany stopped. Clearly that's what she was intending. "Uhm…" She looked around trying to find an answer, knowing she couldn't ask me for one.

Two people approached. I watched them stop in front of us and it didn't register who they were until Mercedes spoke.

"What happened?" She stared at me.

I looked over to Brittany for an answer, again something that was uncharacteristic for me.

"We went hot tubbing and now Santana has no clothes." Brittany said it quickly.

I looked at her again and noticed she was carrying my sopping cheer uniform. I then looked down at myself to see my jacket unbuttoned and only partially covering my top, but nothing covering my soaking spankies. My stomach was bare and water was dripping down my entire body.

"Right…" Mercedes said slowly.

We stood in silence for a moment.

"I have sweats in my car." I said into the heavy silence.

"I can go grab them." Tina quickly suggested.

When I didn't answer I felt Brittany's hand digging in my jacket pocket. She pulled out my keys and handed them to Tina. She also handed over my _Cheerios _uniform.

"Thanks Tina." Brittany said.

While we waited for Tina, Brittany and Mercedes talked about nothing important. Just a few off-hand remarks about Glee Club and _Cheerios. _I just listened. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

Tina returned quicker than I expected and handed me the dry sweats. I feverishly pulled them on and instantly my shivering softened. I wanted to say thanks, but I couldn't seem to form the words. Instead I formed words that I didn't really want to say. "Don't tell anyone about this."

Everyone looked at me, surprised that I could still talk.

"Sure." Tina said.

"Never happened." Mercedes said, but gave me a weird look.

I knew that telling them to keep their mouths shut would only make the situation weirder than it was, but I didn't want to deal with a rumor about me losing my clothes, especially if it didn't have a Puck explanation behind it…

"Are you guys going to want a ride?" Tina asked Brittany without even looking at me. _God, was I that out of it? _

I shook my head _no _and answered for us.

"Well we're gonna head out. See you girls tomorrow." Mercedes said and both her and Tina left.

Brittany began leading me back to the bonfire. Her hand again in the middle of my back.

"Wait. My drink." I stopped and went over to the drinks that Mike had made us.

I picked up the cup, stared at the liquid, and before I could tell myself not to I tipped the cup upward and began chugging. I finished the entire cup, went to reach for Brittany's, but accidentally kicked it over.

The alcohol flooded the pools ledge and began spilling in. "Oops." I stumbled and used my palms to catch myself from face planting.

Brittany's hands grabbed my waist and helped me up. "Geez San. Are you sure you're alright?" She continued to lead me toward the bonfire, knowing that I would fight her if she didn't.

"Yeah. Fine. Just feel funny I guess." I said honestly. "Are you drinking?" I looked at her.

"Yes." She said.

"Okay good."


	9. Glitches

**A/N: Hey! Thank you all for the reviews. I actually hadn't planned on updating till this weekend, but I felt motivated. This is why. I was bored, went to google, and googled the title of my story. The first thing to pop up was a chat forum called "The L Chat". To be honest I've never heard or really looked into it, but when I clicked on the link it brought me to a little conversation about my story. Never did I think that people would talk about it outside of FF. And the compliment they gave me was extraordinary. I'm writing this story because I want it to link as closely as possible with Glee. I want it to be believable. And I hope that's the case. So enjoy this chapter. I do jump quite a few episodes, because I want to get to season 2. Please leave a review if you have anything you'd like to mention! :)**

**Chapter 9 : Glitches**

Drinking that entire cup of alcohol was a horrible idea. At first I didn't feel a thing, but by the time Brittany had led me back out to the bonfire, everything was moving too fast. One second someone was standing nearby, and the next they were gone. If I had to choose one word to describe the images that my eyes were sending to my brain, it would be glitches. Short, incomprehensible, glitches. But just like a dream, I figured the inconsistency was normal.

_Glitch._

Someone had parked their truck out by the bonfire and now music was filling the backyard. I was sitting on the tailgate of that truck. Each time the bass thudded, it would send a shock up my spine. Any person that wasn't completely intoxicated would find it uncomfortable, but I was almost numb to the feeling. The only thing I could sense was my body vibrate along with the song.

Something wet flicked across my neck. I kept my eyes closed. It was easier that way. If I couldn't see, then I didn't have to watch people dart in front of me, or watch the backyard spin, or use whatever strength I had left to hold my heavy eyelids open.

The tongue continued to toy with the crook of my neck, but I neglected to reciprocate anything. Instead I just sat slumped with my legs dangling off the tailgate. My fists were balled up pressed against my jawline and my elbows were planted into my thighs. If wasn't holding my head up I'm positive I would have crumpled off of the truck and onto the ground.

And right now that didn't sound too bad. It meant I could curl up and pass out.

_Another glitch._

I was straddling someone, but I was still in the truck of the bed. There face was pressed into my chest. Each time I rocked and pressed down against the body I was on top of, I felt my knees rub the hard scratchy plastic bedding. My hands snapped away from the back they were wrapped around and down to the sweatpants I was thankfully still wearing. It was like someone had turned the light switch on. I shouldn't be out here, in front of everyone, straddling God knows who.

I tried to swing one clumsy leg off of this persons lap, but I was off balance. I overcompensated. I wanted to catch myself on the truck bedding, but when I went to place my palm down I felt nothing. I was going to fall.

A strong hand caught my back and eased me down to the ground. My feet pressed against the soft dirt and I wobbled for a few seconds before I felt sturdy. When I looked up I found it was Mark sitting on the tailgate. His eyes were startled and bloodshot. With his hand still on my back he slid off of the truck and stood next to me on the ground.

"Stop." I mumbled and shook my shoulders.

His hand immediately retracted.

The sudden movement from the truck bed still had me spinning. I used the open tailgate for support, and once I swallowed my nausea, I looked to make sure he still had his pants on.

He did.

"Wrsss Brhh?" I mumbled again. I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn't. It took too much effort and all my strength was currently being used to keep me standing.

"What?" Mark said.

I pulled my eyes from the ground to see his stupid face contorted with confusion. He was pathetic. Useless and pathetic. And desperate. Either that or I was better at seducing guys than I thought.

"Hey," a small hand touched my shoulder.

My eyes dragged from Mark and over to the blonde who had her hand firmly cupping my arm. I jumped when it wasn't the blonde female I was hoping for. She was wearing a black jacket over a floral summer dress. And her eyes were deep emerald, not sapphire. Actually, if I was to be completely accurate, her eyes were blurry blobs of green.

I groaned in response.

"You can leave." Quinn must have said to Mark, because he quickly turned and skittered away.

Quinn and I were similar in many ways. For starters, people knew that we didn't like to repeat ourselves. Quinn wasn't as rudely blunt as I was, but she was equally as demanding.

"Go away." I managed to say these words properly.

"Santana." She said my name and moved so she was standing in front of me. Her other hand grabbed and clasped my other shoulder. "This is becoming a habit."

"Huh?" I didn't even bother to look up at her.

"The drinking till you're out of control. Well, I guess you're always a little out of control, but this isn't safe." She shook me lightly.

"Since when do you care?" The words flooded out without effort. Maybe I was beginning to sober up a little. Or maybe I just needed to warm up my voice after not talking and making out for so long. I could tell, because my lips were dry and plumper than usual.

"I don't." She said so quickly that I almost didn't have the time to acknowledge it. "You're giving us a bad name…"

"Oh please." I wanted to shrug her hands off of me, but I was still too weak. "You're pregnant, you're reputations is already ruined. You're not a _Cheerio _anymore, so what do you care?" I swallowed an escaping burp. "Is this some lame attempt to make me think we're friends?" I paused to take a breath. "Sorry to break it to you Quinn, but I already have a friend."

Her hands dropped from my shoulders and sent me tipping towards the truck. Just as I was about to collide with it, Quinn's hand darted back and caught my shoulder.

I made eye contact with her and instantly I felt bad. She had everything, and now she has nothing. But that's what happens when you preach celibacy and neglect to learn about contraception.

"Well," She turned and looked toward the bonfire. "You're _friend_ is over their making out with Puckerman." Quinn's lip curled into a smile. She knew exactly what to say in retaliation. She probably had that fact stored and prepared for the moment I disrespected her.

My stomach tightened and I slapped her hand away. "Don't touch me teen mom _statitststic_." That words was hard to say. Without her strength supporting me I fell into the truck. My thigh hit the tailgate and I let out a pained grunt. The corner of the tailgate had jabbed into the exact spot where my bruise was forming.

I held my breath and clenched my jaw to keep in the torrent of curse words that were begging to escape. My thigh was throbbing and cramping all the muscles down my leg. The pain, the ability to talk…they both had to mean I was somewhat sobering up.

Quinn tried to approach and help, but I jumped away from her. She had no business dropping that _bombshell _on me and then trying to console me. She knew I would be pissed about Puckerman kissing any girl, let alone Brittany. I just couldn't decide if I was jealous of or angry with Brittany. Quinn had intended to hurt me and she was successful. She just doesn't know how successful she really was.

I stepped along the side of the truck and my knee gave out. My body plunged down and I caught myself just in time with the palms of my hands. That's the second time this night I've almost fallen on my ass. I pushed myself up and continued.

My mind was backfiring at the thought of Brittany kissing Puckerman. I couldn't decide what I wanted to do when I saw them. I almost wanted to stop, sit on the ground, and pretend I didn't know about it. Brittany would eventually find me there and everything would be fine. But I was too stubborn for that. Stubborn and curious. I had to see and stop this immediately.

The bonfire was bright. Almost too bright. The football players were tossing logs into the blazing flames, and everyone else was gathered around with each other. _How the hell am I supposed to find her? _People were shoulder to shoulder and talking loudly over the music. It would be like finding a needle in a haystack. Actually worse than that. It would be like finding a needle in a needle stack.

_Just kidding. _There she was. Brittany was excitedly pointing at the fire and jumping around. Her jacket was on the ground along with her cheer top. I almost forgot that Brittany is always the liveliest at a party. Just look for the wildest, craziest, most sociable person and you'll find her.

If it wouldn't have sent my straight into the fire, I would have started running at her. But my judgment got the better of me. I decided to just quicken my drunken-saunter into a sloppy-trot.

The song changed and Brittany pulled her eyes away from the fire and toward the source of the music. She spotted me since I was directly in her eye line. I froze and my heart stopped. The look on her face was hurt not guilt. I was the one who was supposed to be resentful. Not her. So I kept frozen. Maybe if I did she would forget I was here and I would have time to figure out what to do next.

I was wrong. She disregarded the people talking to her and started straight towards me. Of course she did.

"Shit." I said it out loud. My head jerked around for a place to hide. _Wait…why was I going to hide? _My chest started to tighten and my heart continued to hammer wildly.

She was getting closer.

A gasp escaped my mouth and I whipped my hand up to muffle the sound. That's when I felt tears pouring down my face. She stopped in front of me and I moved my other hand to my mouth to help stop the sobs. But it was too late. I was crying and there was no going back.

Her arms wrapped around me. I flinched at first, because I didn't expect it. I'm not even sure what I was expecting her to do. Brittany doesn't get mad or angry with me. Ever.

My face was buried in her chest as my body shook with each intake of breath I struggled to find.

"Shhh San." Her hand stroked my hair. "What's wrong?"

"Ntchg." I garbled into her skin.

She didn't ask again and instead waited for me to calm down. My tears slowed and I was able to catch my breath. My throat was dry, my chest ached, and my eyes were cloudy. I knew my makeup was going to look awful and my nose was runny. Brittany wouldn't care though.

I didn't speak until I was confident that my voice wouldn't crack. "Can we go?" I spoke into her body. It wasn't the question I wanted to ask, but it will have to do.

She leaned away and I pulled my face away from her skin. "Where's your top?" I examined her half naked body. She was again in her sports bra. It reminded me of the pool, and again the dead butterflies returned.

"I'll go grab it." She ran away and was back before I had time to think. She zipped up her top and swung her jacket over her shoulders.

"Did you do stuff with Puck?" I said this with as little spite as I could manage. There was no way I could hold the question back any longer.

"Stuff?" She didn't understand.

"Kiss him. Or anything." I explained myself, but as I did so my stomach tightened even further.

"Well sure. He kissed me. Not for long though, it was kinda boring. And he came out of nowhere." She said nonchalantly.

And it wasn't. She was right. Puckerman does that to every girl. I would be naïve to think he wouldn't try to pursue Brittany. She's one of the prettiest girls at the school. Not to mention the reputation of her _list _is well known.

I still had to count to ten before I could say something to her.

_Ten. _Breathe Santana…

_Nine. Eight. Seven. _They were drunk. Hell, you just made out with Mark.

_Six. Five. Four. _Brittany thought it was boring.

_Three. Two. One. _Okay.

"Okay." I sighed.

"Are you mad? I'm not even sure why he kissed me. You're so much hotter." She said this as if it was a well known fact.

I laughed, not because it was funny, but because it was so far from the truth. "He made out with you because you're running around in your bra. And you're super fine."

For some crazy-insane reason I wasn't mad at her. If anything I was relieved that I had found her.

She reached down to link pinkies with me, but snapped her hand away on contact. "Gross San. What's all over you?"

I lifted my hands toward my face. They were covered with dirt and small rocks. I continued by looking down and examining my sweats. They were also covered in weird stuff. So maybe I did fall on the ground at one point…

I started to slap the dirt off of my sweats, but flinched from the sting in my palms. Again I snapped my hands up to my face. My eyes squinted and I saw that the rocks were actually embedded into my skin. I would have gagged if it weren't for all the alcohol in my system, but right now I seemed to be numb and insensitive.

Brittany grabbed my hands with hers and examined the implanted chunks of nature. Her nose scrunched up in both confusion and loathing. Despite her detest she carefully began picking out the larger pieces. Her nails squeezed the rocks and easily plucked them out.

I refused to watch the rocks being removed. Instead I stared at Brittany's face. Concentration. Worry. Fear for hurting me. Concentration.

"These fellas are slippery." She stuck out her tongue and bit it. As if that would help her further focus her attention.

"You don't have to." I said it softly so maybe she wouldn't hear me…

"It's cool. After motocross practice I always get stuff stuck in me. I'm a pro at takin' it out." She moved her face even closer to my hand.

XXXxxxXX

It'd been months since the bonfire. In the meantime I've avoided any further drunken humiliation, brushed off the fact that Puck was the father of Quinn's baby, and deterred the guys in the Glee Club from the horrifying comment Brittany made before Sectionals.

_If it (sex) were, Santana and I would be dating. _

She said it during a phone conference with Mercedes, Tina, Kurt, Artie, and I during school. My heart plummeted the second she said it. I brushed off her comment at the time and continued with the topic on hand, which happened to be Puck being the father of Quinn's baby.

Since then me and Britt haven't _done _anything. She knew she messed up by saying what she said, even though I never confronted her about it. I figured there was no use in stirring the kettle when people would just think Brittany was making another wacky and random comment. By lunch time I was positive the remark was forgotten.

Now whenever things get a little _hot _between us I always say I need to use the bathroom or make up some other lame excuse. I felt if I _did _something with her, people would find out. Since the cat was partially out of the bag, if we even remotely fooled around, the cat would completely burst out. Almost like someone was waiting for us to get close enough so they could catch us in the act.

That knowledge mixed with the panic attack I had after our little experience in the pool is what kept me distanced. _What if it happened again? _

All in all, let's chalk up pre-Sectionals as an overwhelming time period for me. And the only thing that kept me from going completely over the edge was winning at Sectionals. It gave me hope that I could be successful at something that I loved to do.

Brittany and I stood shoulder to shoulder in Sue's office. I hated when she called us in. It was either to make us do something _weird _for her (like sneak to the store and buy protein powder) or inform us of a new plan to destroy Glee club….and I didn't want to do either. Not anymore.

"You two should be wetting yourselves with shame." Sue spoke to us from her elliptical and looked at us like we were useless." I averted my eyes as she climbed down from the machine. "Glee Club won sectionals and you did nothing to stop it." Our _Cheerios _coach walked behind us and continued to speak. We stood frozen in fear. "If you were samurai and my letter opener were sharp enough I would ask you both right now to commit seppuku." She made a complete circle and stopped in front of us with her arms crossed. "In Japenese, this means ritual belly-slitting."

"We were seduced by the glitz and glamour of showbiz." Brittany blurted out. They were the exact words I had told her to say for exactly this circumstance.

Sue ignored her. "Let me drop some knowledge on you. Ever since Quinn Fabray got knocked up I've been in the market for a new head cheerleader." Again she walked around and spoke from behind us. "If you want the job and back in my good graces, you're gonna have to turn around…" We quickly listened and turned to face her. "And listen up."

She began pumping tiny red ten-pound weights. "You're familiar with a little Glee Clubber named Rachel Berry. Rachel's the kind of girl who wants things too badly. And what she really wants is one Finn Hudson." I forced myself _not_ to roll my eyes at the mention of his name. "I want you to go after him. She'll go crazy. She won't be able to stand you're dating him. Humiliated, shamed, she'll have no choice but to leave the group. And without her, Shuester won't make it to Regionals."

Sue tossed us the small weights without warning. Thankfully we caught them. We turned and watched her sit at her desk.

"I imagine it shouldn't be hard for this to happen. You're creative…I think. Get out of my office." Sue demanded.

Brittany and I frantically and carefully placed the weights on her desk and scurried out of her office. We didn't speak the entire walk to Glee rehearsal. Both of us knew what we had to do, and talking about it would only stress me out further.

Rehearsal and our new assignment, _hello, _proceeded without a hitch.

"I have an idea." I whispered into Brittany's ear while Mr. Shue talked to us. She leaned in closer. "Let's both ask him out. Together. He'll have to say yes. I'd rather not go on a date with _Finnocence, _because it's a waste of my time, but if you're there it'll be like I'm just hanging out with you."

Brittany nodded and smiled in agreement.

Finn performed his _hello _song at the end of rehearsal. Once he finished it was _the_ perfect opportunity to attac, because second he finished his song Rachel said something annoying that I ignored and ran up to Mr. Shue. Her distraction meant rehearsal was over.

I stood up, linked pinkies with Brittany and paced straight towards Finn.

"You're a really good dancer." Brittany spoke into his back.

He spun around to face us and plastered a brief dopey grin on his face. "Thanks, but my feet weren't really moving." He now looked confused.

"That was the best part." Brittany continued. I had to force back laughter. It was hilarious watching her try to pick up Finn.

"Oh." He looked offended.

_I need to step in before we completely ruin this. _"Britt and I were wondering if you wanted to go out." I said. It was simple and direct.

"On a…date? With which one of you?" Again he had that wretched confused look on his face. If it weren't for my fear of Sue I would have walked away.

I looked at Brittany and linked arms with her.

"Both of us." We said this in unison.

This is when I pulled her away from him, because his doofish smile was enough to make me want to jab him in the throat. We walked out of the choir room door and headed for our lockers.

"I've never had a threesome date." Brittany said when we reached our lockers.

I began fiddling with the lock and putting in my combination. "Not a threesome. Threesomes involve sex. All we're doing is making Rachel jealous." I turned the lock to the final number and unlatched it.

Brittany leaned her shoulder against the locker as she continued to speak to me. "Finn reminds me of one of those trees that help Frodo. Trees scare me, but I don't want septic poo."

I set my book in my locker and took a double take at her. _Seppuku_?I just ignored it and went back to rummaging through my locker.

"Sorry for kissing Puck." Brittany blurted. "He sort of just attacked me and said he was a sex shark. And now he's marked off my list."

I turned to see her staring at her shoes with her arms crossed. "What are you talking about? I'm totally over that." I slammed my locker shut. "I don't care what anyone does with him. Not since he impregnated Quinn. Let me lay it out for you. Puck and I are similar. We use each other when it's convenient. There's nothing more to our relationship."

"So you're a sex shark?" She asked, but I didn't answer. "But you seem mad about it." Brittany still didn't make eye contact with me.

"Why are you bringing this up?" I averted her question by asking another question.

"You don't ever want to play softball anymore." She finally looked up at me.

"Softb-," I paused and examined her. I knew it took an extraordinary amount of effort for her to ask that question. "Oh. Well I don't know. I mean its nice, but-"

She cut me off. "I really am sorry. I take back whatever I did. And I take back what I said before Sectionals about sex not being dating." She waited for me to respond.

It was like one of those awkward texts you get and have to wait a good twenty minutes before you can think of the right response. But I didn't have twenty minutes. I had a few seconds before Brittany's eyes drilled a hole through my brain and started picking out all the answers I didn't want her to know.

"It's totally fine." I just shrugged. I didn't know where all these questions were coming from. We have been fine for awhile now. And the memory of that night, plus the unexpected barrage of questions and apologies had me flustered.

Honestly I wasn't mad about Puck. There was even a rumor around school that they had sex. I didn't care. The only thing I cared about was what would happen the next time me and Brittany _did_ something. I didn't want to freak out again and look like some petrified loser. Like I didn't know what I was doing.

She looked upset, because I didn't give her the answer she was looking for. I knew it. I knew exactly what she was asking. It was a roundabout way of trying to find out why I had been distant with her. We still had our movie nights, still hung out all the time, but something was _off. _

I grabbed her pinkie again. "Come on Britt. Let's talk to Finn and set a time for dinner."

I pulled her through the hall and stopped at Finn's locker. He gave both of us a crooked smile.

"Breadstix, 8:00. Table for three?" It came out as a question, but I was confident in his answer.

"Cool." He mumbled.

We giggled and quickly left. I hadn't really anticipated Sue's plan being fun. I wasn't interested in Finn, but I was interested in teasing him. As we marched down the center of the hallway Rachel sped past us and toward Finn.

"So." I said as we continued to walk. "This should be fun."

XXXXxxxX

I spun the pesto-alfredo pasta on the end of my fork. Finally the waitress walked by. "Excuse me." I called toward her. The middle-aged women approached our table and waited for me to continue. "We'd like to send these back." I spoke about Brittany's and my food.

"But you ate all of it." She saw our plates with small piles of pasta remaining.

"Look, I'm pretty sure you have to do what we say and this food was not satisfactory." I cocked an eyebrow at the waitress.

"There was a mouse in mine." Brittany added.

"So we'd like more, please." I held my plate up for her to take without making eye contact. Brittany did the same.

Brittany was in the booth sitting next to me. We always did that when we went to _Breadstix_.Regardless if it was just us two or us out with a group of people.

I turned and faced her. "Alright. Hottest guys in the school. Go." It was a typical scenario we'd play. One of use would ask each other a question. Typically a question involving the judgment and gossip of others.

"Okay, um." Her eyes narrow her eyes in thought. "Puck's super fine."

"Mm-hmm." I agreed. This was common knowledge.

"Finn's cute too."

"Yeah, but he's not hot though." I admitted. He was like a little boy. A really tall, lanky, little boy.

"He really isn't." Brittany agreed.

"And you know what, Britt? I think that dwarf girlfriend of his is dragging down his rep." It was only partially true. Rachel is a loser, but Finn can only be so hot. The vibe he gives off will never shout sexy. I continued to lie though. "If he were dating, say, popular pretty girls like us he would go from dumpy to smokin'." I turned away from Brittany and looked across the table.

"Hello. Hey. I'm right here." Finn waved. I had to take a deep breath to keep from flipping his plate of food into his lap. "Would you guys mind, like, including me in your conversations?"

I set my drink down and leaned across the table. "Let us give you an introduction into the way that we work. You buy us dinner, and we make out in front of you. It's like the best deal ever." I could feel Brittany smile as I said this.

But I had said it without thinking. I intended to be bitchy and make Finn want to talk as little as possible, but there was actually truth behind my statement. Well…a little. I wouldn't make out in front of him with Brittany…but I would make out with Brittany. _Shit. _I'm such an idiot.

"Did you see what Rachel was wearing today?" Brittany said and pulled me out of my internal thrashing.

"Hm." I laughed. "I know. She looked like Pippi Longstocking, but like, Israeli." I turned toward Brittany again as I spoke.

"Those sweaters make her look homeschooled." Brittany stated.

I laughed, but it was forced. I was still too worried about my making-out-with-Brittany remark. Acting, teasing, and understanding where I stood with Brittany was beginning to take its toll on me.

"Hey, guys, come on. Don't make fun of Rachel. She's…kind of cool." Finn interrupted us.

"Finn, that's mean." Brittany spoke before I could.

I'd had enough. He was driving me nuts. "You know what, actually, would you mind waiting in the car? And leave your credit card."

He dropped his fork, stood up and left. _Finally. _I could care less if he gets back with Rachel. I probably just drove him into the arms of Rachel now that I think about it. I'll just have to find a way to deal with coach.

"Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?" Again Brittany chimed in.

I looked to her out of habit, but had to do a double take at the odd comment. It then hit me what she was talking about. It couldn't be though. That comment was so random and unrelated. She couldn't have been still thinking about it. There's no way she's connecting sex shark with us. _Impossible. _

"Let's go." I shoved my drink away from me.

"But what about our food?" She questioned. I turned to her to see her eyes frantically searching for the waitress.

Breadstix was our favorite place. I couldn't drag her away from another plate of pasta and not feel guilty about it. I just answered her question by pulling my drink toward me and sipping from the straw.

"So." Brittany began. "Want to stay the night?"

I choked on the liquid that was halfway down my throat. A few coughs later I turned to her and suddenly needed an explanation for my weird response. "What for?" My throat was scratchy.

"Everyone's gone for the night. Staying with family. My mom didn't want me staying alone so I told her you would be there." She slurped the last of her drink. "We can watch a movie or something. It'll be fun. Like playing house, but for reals."

"Sure." I tried to stay calm. I hadn't stayed the night with Brittany for awhile, and for good reason.

The waitress returned with two full plates of pasta. I didn't say anything as she set the food down, I didn't even look at her. But Brittany mouthed thank you.

I stabbed and spun my fork in the pasta. I wasn't hungry anymore. I was nervous. Instead of eating I just fished the pasta around my plate, but stopped when a few of the noodles slipped off the edge of the plate and onto my lap.

I froze and stared at the noodles. From the corner of my eye I saw Brittany stop eating and look at me. Her hand moved toward my lap and picked up the stray noodles. She placed them on her napkin.

"Man overboard." She returned her hand to my thigh and wiped off the pesto sauce.


	10. Easy

**A/N: Hey! thanks again to those who went out of their way to leave a review! It really does help. So this chapter had me stumped for the longest time. I had so many different scenarios running throughout my mind, and finally I just went for it! I hope it works and it fits not only with Glee, but fits along with my storyline. I did include a few conversations between Brittany and Santana, and it was surpisingly difficult to make sure the dialouge fit their characters, since they don't really have a lot of visible onscreen conversations (especially in season 1). Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 10 : Easy**

I couldn't stop staring. My gaze had turned into a drowning wonder. My knuckles were leaving permanent indents in my cheeks as I rested my head on balled up fists, and my elbows were starting to become numb from solely supporting the weight of my groggy and heavy head. I knew my mouth was halfway open and my eyes had glazed over.

Brittany didn't seem to take notice or care about my zombified gawking. She knew I was zoning out, focusing on thoughts, and it was natural for my eyes to follow her. Around Brittany I didn't bother with pleasantries or being _socially competent. _When it was just us two, it was okay for me to say, do, think, or feel whatever the hell I wanted. And Brittany thought the same exact thing.

That would explain the large puddle of ketchup that flooded her plate and the drowning, half-eaten, dinosaur-chicken-nuggets that laid scattered about on that same plate. At school she knew better than to play with her food, let alone be seen eating something unhealthy. Sue required that we only drink her "weight-loss" drink. It promoted the fact that being a _Cheerio _required sacrifice and a perfect body. But what Sue doesn't know won't hurt her. Who's to tell her that it's a fast metabolism that keeps Britt and I thin and in shape. Not her nasty, spicy, thick _drink. _

And a fast metabolism is something we surely did have. Not only did we double-time the pasta at Breadstix, but we just microwaved at least half of the frozen nuggets and poured ourselves a cup of chocolate milk. We had three gifts in life. Being super hot. Being popular. And not gaining weight.

I mindlessly picked up a chicken nugget from my plate and popped it in my mouth. As I chewed Brittany flipped and shoved a piece of her food in her ketchup-lake. If I didn't know better, her plate almost looked like a crime scene. She continued by pinching the piece and quickly darting it towards her mouth. This time only a few drops of ketchup dripped onto the table.

On the second chew she stopped. Her mouth hung open and she jutted her jaw out. "Owe." A pained expression twisted her face and her eyes watered.

This reeled me back from my zoning and I waited for her to explain.

She stuck her fingers into her mouth and pulled out a small piece of the masticated chicken. My mouth shut and recoiled in disgust.

Brittany examined the piece of food in her fingers and then dropped it to her plate. On contact a soft _ting _rang.

"I think they forgot to take this dinosaur's tooth out." Brittany pointed to the white piece on her plate.

"Oh my God…" I slowly placed the chicken nugget I was holding back down on my plate. "Ewe."

"It's not a tooth." I paused. "I hope not…" I stifled a gag.

The last time I found something _hard _in my fast food burger, I couldn't eat them for at least a year. And now…dinosaur chicken nuggets were ruined for me.

"Do you think Quinn's gonna keep her baby?" Brittany asked completely aloof to my disgust at our food. She just continued to chomp away at her other chicken nuggets.

"That'd be convenient." I said. If Quinn kept her baby it meant she'd have less time for _Cheerios, _meaning head cheerleader was mine. "Although I imagine her baby would turn out like a Telletubby."

"Gross San. Those things creep me out. They're like life-size hairless Furbies." Brittany finally abandoned her food and pushed her plate away. "I had a dream that I had to shave one once." She folded her arms across her chest. "Maybe Quinn will have to shave her baby."

"Good thing I'm not eating anymore, because that would have ruined my appetite." I picked up my plate, leaned across the table, and stacked it on top of Brittany's. The sooner I covered up her chicken nugget massacre the better.

"You never said who you thought the hottest people in the school were at dinner. You're turn." She got out of her chair, grabbed the plates, and headed toward the sink.

I suddenly became all too aware of the beige glowing light above us. The glass casing was green around the rim and flowers wrapped around the globe like a tiny garden. In the center of the wooden table was a flower vase holding three and a half yellow tulips. Brittany wore the top half of the fourth tulip in her hair to school a couple days ago. I was even able to convince her to let me slip one of the pedals into Mercedes stew during lunch. But Sue called us to her office quickly after, and I was never able to find out if she ate it.

The faucet squeaked and the water turned on. I listened as Brittany rinsed off the gored chicken nugget plates. As the water danced and splashed off of the plastic plates I started to return to my previous fog. It's not that I had forgotten Brittany's question. The exact opposite.

"San hello?" Brittany called with her back to me.

I blinked twice. "Oh. I was thinking. Uhm, well like you said Puck is hot. But now I'm picturing him shaving a Telletubby and it's kinda disturbing." I paused to think. Puck was really the only _hot _guy that rolled off my tongue. All the other guys were too…boyish.

_You. _

The thought invaded my mind without warning. I caught my eyes undressing Brittany. She was still wearing her _Cheerios _outfit and I could sporadically catch a glimpse of her _spankies_. The red spandex clung to her butt. _How in the hell did she fit her hands inside mine? _

The question that I began to ponder caused me to cross my legs. I had to keep my urges under control. It doesn't take much to get me going. _But since when did Brittany do this to me?_ I've grown to accept the fact that Puckerman's lame texts turn me on, the sight of the janitor's closet turns me on, and washing machines (there's a good reason for that). _But Brittany?_

_Should I be surprised? _She is my best friend. I spend more time with her than anyone else. Aside from me, she's the hottest girl in the school, and she's as sexually promiscuous as I am.

She glanced back at me and my eyes fleeted away from her exposed spankies and to her bright, awaiting, eyes. I continued before she could question my wondering glances. "Mark." I blurted the first male name that crossed my mind. Besides it wasn't completely untrue. He was a little hot.

"Yeah he is hot. Mostly because he's rich." She smiled.

"I've taught you well." I returned the smile.

She shut the water off and turned to completely face me. "Let's watch a movie now. And we can cuddle on the couch since nobody is here. The T.V. is way bigger."

My heart skipped a beat, but I forced it to calm. We always cuddled before. _Who says we can't _just_ cuddle?_ I've fallen asleep on top of her a million times. And I can't even count the times I've woken up to find her drooling on my shoulder.

I stood up and followed her upstairs. We quietly changed, brushed our teeth, grabbed our schoolwork, she grabbed the first movie on her pile of unwatched and unopened stack, and we marched back downstairs hugging blankets and pillows. It probably would have been a good idea to make a second trip, because I couldn't see the steps, but I was too tired and too lazy. And if I fell I would just fall on a pillow…

While I took the movie from Brittany and headed toward the DVD player she took the opportunity to sprawl across the two-cushioned couch. The beige one with burgundy swirls. It was the only couch out here that could properly fit us. The others were too either too small, or too big.

After the movie was set I turned back and headed toward the couch. As I approached Brittany pulled her feet towards her and tucked herself into her cushion on the left side. I snuggled into my side of the couch, tucked my legs underneath my body, and set my notebook on my lap. _Algebra._

We sat to ourselves for a good twenty minutes. Just doing homework.

"I don't get it." Brittany exclaimed over the background sound of the movie.

I jumped at the sudden noise, causing my pencil to scrape a faint line throughout problem number twenty-two. After I erased the mark I turned to her. She was sitting with her knees to her chest and her notebook inches away from her face. Her teeth her biting the bottom of her lip and her eyes were tightly squinted. I watched her for a moment, waiting to see if she would further explain her confusion. Instead she just bit down harder on her lip, and pressed her pencil harder against her paper.

"What don't you get?" I looked back to my own homework.

"Why the horse's mouth doesn't move when he talks. And half of this movie is just about a running horse with an Indian. We should have watched Babe. This is both unrealistic and boring." She said this as her face remained concentrated on her homework.

"Hm." I responded. I expected her to question me about her homework. "Did you get the answer to twenty-two?"

She turned her notebook towards me. Added onto each 'plus' sign were little purple tic-tac-toe boards. I should have expected this much. "Wanna challenge me?" Brittany smiled.

I took a double take at my own homework and shrugged. I guess I only had three problems left. "Sure." I set my own notebook on the table beside the couch. "I'm in. We'll just force Jew-Fro to give us his homework tomorrow before class."

She giddied up and scooted towards me until she was sitting in the middle of the couch and her legs were pressed against my own. "Me first." She shook the gel pen in her hand and directed it toward the paper.

I leaned my head on her shoulder. I'd almost forgotten how tired I was. That date with Finn was exhausting. It's hard to pretend to like someone I entirely loathed. Brittany darted her gel pen in-between squares trying to decide which one to pick.

Just as I was about to tell her to pick the center one, she drew a small circle in the top-left box. Quickly she continued by drawing a circle in the middle-left box and then the bottom-left box. "You're turn." She handed me her gel pen and notebook.

Tentatively I took the notebook from her, one eyebrow raised, and my mind shuffling to find the proper response that wouldn't hurt her feelings. "You're only supposed to pick on at a time." I lifted my head from her shoulder and set the notebook on my lap.

"No silly. Then how am I supposed to win?" She laughed.

I laughed with her. But my laugh was tired. I needed to get my beauty rest if I was going to impress Sue at practice tomorrow. So I decided to agree with her. "Okay. You win." I set her notebook on my own.

I returned to burrowing my head into her shoulder and turning my attention to the movie. My eyes closed and I felt myself drifting off.

It couldn't have been much longer when I opened my eyes. The movie was still playing, but now I was covered in a blanket and my arms were wrapped around Brittany's waist.

_She tied you to a kitchen chair  
>She broke your throne, and she cut your hair<br>And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah_

I listened to music. And just faintly audible over the original singer was a soft female voice.

That's what must have woken me up.

I pushed myself up from Brittany's shoulder to find her holding a small iPod.

She quickly pulled the blaring ear buds from her ears and set the blue iPod on her lap. "Sorry San." She paused the song and the music stopped.

"It's fine." My voice croaked from still being half-asleep. "What were you singing?" I stretched my legs and shifted my weight to a softer spot on the couch.

She picked up the iPod and held it so I could read the screen. _Hallelujah. Leonard Cohen._

"You should ask for solos in Glee?" I suggested. From what I just faintly heard, and from her background vocals I hear every day in rehearsal I knew she was worthy of an occasional solo.

"I don't know about that." She hesitated. After she wrapped the headphones around the small iPod she stuffed it inbetween the couch cushion. "That's where I found it." She answered my questioning look.

I ignored that and continued with my previous suggestion. "No you'd be great. You're an amazing dancer and a pretty good singer."

"Maybe." Her smile was shy.

I knew that I'd never get through by pushing the issue, so I decided to change topics. "Why was the iPod in the couch?" I quickly jumped back to the random topic.

"There's lots of cool stuff in there. Sometimes when my mom tells me to clean I just shove things in here cause I don't remember where they go." Brittany dove her hand back into the cushion and fished out a small handful of random items.

Immediately the green bill caught my attention. "Hell yeah!" I snatched it from her. "Ten bucks. We'll buy coffee's before school tomorrow morning with this." I set the bill on top of our notebooks.

Brittany waited for me to hold my hand out and dumped a half-dozen clear, pointy, small plastic things in it. "What are these?" I rolled the tiny plastic pieces around in my palm.

"Light-Bright pieces." Brittany didn't seem as intrigued as me. "I hate the clear color so instead of throwing them away I put them here. My parents get mad when I throw my Christmas presents away."

"Mmmhmm." I shoved the light bright pieces back into the couch.

As I did so, Brittany raised the red licorice she was now grasping up to her lips. I wanted to reach for it before she put it in her mouth, but I was too late.

"Britt no." I tried to stop her.

Her teeth bit the hard vine and tried to rip a chewable piece off. When she pulled the candy back out of her mouth I grabbed it from her.

"That was too hard." Brittany rubbed her back molars with her pointer finger.

I searched the area for a place to put the rock-licorice and finally settled on shoving it back in the couch. I didn't feel guilty, because it was too hard for ants or any other bug to be attracted to it.

Sitting on our own respective cushions, we turned our focus back to the movie. But by now I was too far lost to understand what was happening. I was also wide awake and couldn't stop thinking about what else was underneath me in the couch.

Eventually my mind wondered off and onto the idea of what I normally would be doing at this hour. _Puckerman. _I knew if I checked my phone I'd have quite a few text messages from him, demanding that I come to his house. The last time I was there we did it in his shower. It was actually pretty impressive. Uncomfortable…but hot.

I stole a glance toward Brittany. Her head was down and focused on picking at her nails. My foot scooted across the couch and I playfully kicked her hip. _Was I actually initiating this?_ This thing that has caused me so much confusion and stress. But when it came down to this kind of stuff, I have no control over what I _want. _

Her dazed eyes moved from her hand, locked on mine, and we exchanged a smile. Her eyes jumped briefly from my eyes, down to my lips, and back up to my eyes. She knew exactly why I kicked her. Her smile faltered and changed from lighthearted to seductive. I knew this, because her eyes softened, one corner of her lip rose slightly higher than the other, and she fidgeted slightly.

Her hand grabbed my foot and began massaging over my sock. Her thumbs pressed hard against the bones on the top of my foot and her fingers worked into the arch underneath that same foot.

I rolled on my back, rested my head on the arm of the couch and positioned my both of my legs across Brittany's lap. Instead of continuing to massage she turned and shuffled on the couch. I let out a distinct and disapproving groan.

She quickened her shuffling and stopped when her back was pressed against the opposite arm rest. Her hands grabbed behind my knees and she pulled me toward her.

I giggled as I my head was dragged off the arm rest and plopped against the cushion. She didn't stop pulling me until my butt was in between her thighs. When she let go of the back of my knees I lifted my legs on either side of her and rested my calves on the arm rest she was leaning against. I loved having her in between my legs.

The compromising position twisted knots inside my stomach. What really caused me to squirm was the thought of how we could progress from here.

She answered my question by leaing forward and pressing her palm against my side, using her fingers to massage my lower back. I shifted and rested my arms on the legs she had situiated on either side of me. Each time she pulled and kneaded her fingers from the center of my lower back out to my sides I tried to scoot closer.

Her hands tucked under my tank-top and slowly ran up my back. The higher she went, the further she had to stretch. And as she stretched, her stomach pressed against my center. And when she stopped her chest was pressed against my stomach and her hands were at my shoulder blades.

Slowly she teased her hands back down my back until she was sitting up straight. I loved how flexible she was.

I expected her to stop in at my lower back and continue massaging, but she didn't. Her hands clenched the top of my sweats and she began to tug at them. I lifted my butt into the air to help. She tugged down until I was forced to tuck my legs into myself and finish removing them.

I was about to place my legs back on either side of her, but I was too antsy. I wanted to quicken the pace. So I moved, sat up on my knees, and scooted towards her making sure to stay in between her legs. My hands dug into her thighs as I sat on my knees and I pressed my lips into hers.

We started out slow and passionate. I liked having her cornered. Not that I didn't enjoy her dominating me, but this way I was allowed a little more choice. And I've always preferred that. My tongue dipped into her mouth and ran across her tongue.

Every time I kissed her I was always pleasantly surprised. Compared to the boys, she was softer and less suffocating. My tongue could actually dance with hers instead of being shoved back down my own throat. Of course, I wouldn't _hate _if she decided to do that.

My knees were spreading her legs now. I hadn't been paying attention to how close I was getting to her, because I was focused on her heaving breaths and plumping lips. But our bodies were closer than I thought possible.

She stopped and pulled her lips away from mine. Her thumbs looped around the lace of my underwear.

"Wait." I whispered into her mouth. "Let me try."

I waited until she answered. And when she nodded I smiled, placed a short kiss on her lips, and reached for the bottom of her shirt.

If I was going to do this I needed to do it quick, before I chickened out or thought twice about what I was actually doing...getting my best friend off. That, and in the back of my mind, buried deep, was the fleeting thought that someone might walk in on us. I knew it wasn't likely, but it still horrified me that someone would catch me doing this…to _her_.

I yanked the shirt over her head and tossed it onto the fallen pile of pillows and blankets we had kicked off of the couch. I wanted to pause and study, glorify, and stare at her. But I wanted to get the rest of her clothes of more.

So I bent towards her, reached around her and unclasped her bra. Brittany was one of the few girls who actually wore her bra to bed. She said it felt strange without it. And when we were getting ready for bed she actually went out of her way to replace her sports bra with a normal one in her drawer.

It was weird trying to unhook it. I never had trouble with my own. I was good at it. But trying to take off someone else's bra was something new for me. So I struggled with it, but eventually the clasps unhooked.

The time it took to unhook it wasn't completely wasted. Brittany had kept herself distracted by running her hands across my thighs, occasionally toying with the band of my underwear. I knew she wanted to take them off, but I already had confessed to wanting to be in control.

I dropped the bra to the ground and pulled away. I'd seen her breasts before, but nothing like this. In the locker room, or in her room, or wherever I may have seen them, I was never sexually interested.

My hand started flat against her stomach. Carefully I slid it up. I was nervous. My hand was shaking. I had no clue what I was doing. I'd never touched another girl's chest. And I may know what I like, and how I liked to be touched, but that doesn't mean Brittany likes the same things.

I held my breath, because I couldn't keep it from hitching. Instead I focused on my hand. I grazed across her abs. They were peferct. Soft and firm at the same time. Finally my hand slid inbetween her chest. The brief contact that I had with the inside of her chest, caused me to drawback my hand. I liked touching her, but it scared me that she wouldn't like it.

But her pouting lip told otherwise. Her eyes lingered on her bare chest for a moment longer and then moved up to me.

I was still frozen. Confused. Unsure.

She must have noticed.

As if to encourage me, she frantically yanked off her pants and underwear. And instead of waiting for me to make a decision she sat up and kissed me.

The kiss made me forget that she was naked, forget that my best friend was on the couch with me, without underwear, and waiting for me to touch her. The longer she kissed me and ran her hands across my body, the further she encouraged me.

"Okay." I said in between a kiss. "I can do it."

I felt her lips smile against mine. Her body pulled back away from me, but I kept my eyes closed. I felt her shift in front of me and lay down so her bare center was pressed firmly against my knees.

I opened my eyes to find her with her eyes tightly shut. She must have known that would help. That if she didn't watch, I would feel more comfortable. I scooted back so I could get a better angle.

My hand started at her inner knee and slowly trailed up. I bit my bottom lip to keep myself grounded. As I tickled up her inner thigh I felt her wriggle with anticipation. When my hand made contact with her folds I felt how wet she was. That's the final encouragement that I needed. My nerves ran away, and my lust returned. This was the first time I was actually touching her (over the underwear didn't count).

I ran my hand up and down her, just like she had done to me when we were in the pool and when we were in the locker room. Her chest heaved with each movement I made, but her eyes remained closed.

A split decision was made in my mind. Before she even knew I was that close to her, I knelt down, careful not to touch her thighs with my face, leaned in, and ran my tongue over and between my vigorously moving fingers. The taste was sweet and not at all what I expected.

Brittany froze at the touch of my tongue, clearly not expecting it. I pulled my fingers away and ran the flat of my tongue up to her clit and began flicking with the tip of my tongue. It was something I'd wanted Puck to do to me, but he never wanted to oblige my request.

Her body went stiff as I forcefully worked my tongue on her. I heard her let out an immersed gasp and felt her begin to spasm. I stopped my tongue and pulled up to look at her. Her jaw clenched in pleasure and her eyes tightened even further shut. I could tell she was forcing herself to be quiet, because she held her breath and tucked her lips into her mouth.

When she finished she let out a staggered breath and followed by taking a few heavy intakes of air.

_That was easy._


	11. Virgin

**A/N: Hey! So I updated pretty quickly this time. As far as this chapter goes I'm not too sure how everyone's going to react to it. I promise I stuck with the storyline (We're now at the Madonna Episode!), but it does get a little "deeper" than my other chapters. I feel as if now's a good time to start having Santana express her feelings a bit more as opposed to confining them all. You'll see once you read. Please give me your input! I'll just say that I enjoy this chapter and I hope you do too! :)**

**Chapter 11 - Virgin**

Just like I thought. It was quick. Too quick. That's exactly why I've grown fond of Puckerman. He may be selfish, but he sure as hell knows how to do the deed. And if I have to suffer through his occasional ramblings about video games just to have the opportunity, no, the pleasure of him, then that's okay by me.

But this is just sorry, almost pathetic. I got absolutely no benefit from this. If I didn't regret this choice to begin with, I sure as hell do now.

I crawled off and pulled my pink nightie down to cover my thighs. The sheets on the bed were scratchy and the thought of how often the motel actually _cleaned _them started to plague my fears like locust.

I wanted my underwear, but I felt too uncomfortable to search for them. Santana Lopez crawling around a grungy motel floor looking for her panties; not exactly something I'd be proud to demonstrate. I'm a pro at sex and all the before hand stuff, but once the after-bits roll around I'm a complete dolt. I guess I have another sexual characteristic to blame on Puckerman. With him I don't have to worry about _after. _He either leaves, or I leave. There's no conversation, no cuddling, nothing.

The bed we were on was small. It felt like we were _Barbie_ and _Ken_ in Brittany's little dollhouse. On a wretched tiny, hard, rickety bed doing exactly what Brittany suggested. _Why did I listen to her? _This is completely her fault. If she hadn't said that taking a guy's virginity would snag me a younger, inferior, man, then I wouldn't be in this horrifying situation. _Since when did she get so good at planting motives and ideas inside my head? _First with the comment about pretending she kissed me when she kissed boys, her asking me to _play _in the pool, and now this. I'm the one who's good at that. For goodness sake I made 'head cheerleader Quinn Fabray' join Glee Club.

Differing from popular belief, I liked having my space in bed, especially with someone so awkward. But there was nowhere for me to go. No chairs or couches inside the motel room and no window sill for me to lean against.

I stole a short glance back at Finn. Did I seriously just have sex with _Finnocence? _He was sitting with the covers over his lap completely void and emotionless.

_Great. _

I scooted back against the metal backboard of the bed and pulled the covers over my lap. I even folded my hands just like he was. If anything, at this moment, I didn't want to do something weird. I'd just given myself entirely to someone and no matter how many times I've had sex it doesn't get easier. Sure the _during_ part is fun, but the after part is dreadful. It's exactly why I leave. I get with a guy then as soon as he's done I get gone.

_So why wasn't I leaving? _Instead I was sitting next to _Finnocence _waiting for his approval. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he was the first guy to go out of his way for me. Some people call it chivalry, I call it annoying. He picked me up at my house, made small talk, asked me about _Cheerios, _asked if I wanted to get a bite to eat, and even asked what radio station I wanted to listen to. And when it came down to it, I was the one who pushed his courtesy aside.

Finn was the first guy-_friend_ I had slept with. Well, as close as a friend other than Brittany could be. Finn and I had Glee rehearsals every day, and I would be lying if I said that hint of a miniscule bond hadn't formed between me and him. Sex with Finn wasn't like sleeping with Puck. Puckerman and me weren't friends. We were fuck-buddies, and one-million Glee rehearsals won't ever change that.

Don't get me wrong. I hate Finn. He annoys the shit out of me, but he's a small-tiny step above the Neanderthals at our school. I knew that it meant a lot for him to have sex, more than it does for the typical guy. And because it meant a lot to him, it meant a lot to me.

After last week with Brittany I would be naïve to think that I wouldn't have an adverse reaction to sleeping with a _friend_.

_I left my hands on her thighs as she caught her breath. Her eyes were still closed, so it was okay for me to study her expressions. This must be what I looked like in the swimming pool. Flushed. Breathless. Soothed and exhilarated at the same time. _

_I wanted to crawl over her and brush her bangs away from her face. A few lonely strands were kinked and twisted. After I would brush her bangs away I would snuggle on top of her bare body, snuggle into her chest, and fall asleep. _

_Instead I snapped my hands away from her and start scooting away. I was forced to stop when my back hit the opposite arm rest. Brittany noticed my absence and opened her eyes. She found my fleeting eyes and smiled, but I couldn't bring myself to return that smile. Too many thoughts were parading my mind._

_Before she noticed or became self-conscious of herself I slid down to the floor and scooped her sweats, underwear, and shirt into my arm. The clothing felt cool against my skin. My body was still hot and my heart was still jack-hammering. _

_I cursed my luck. Nobody was going to walk in and interrupt this after-phase. We were stuck. I was stuck._

_With my eyes turned downward I handed her the pile of clothes. _

"_The boys are right about you." Brittany took the clothes, completely oblivious to my forming panic-attack. "You're really good." She said it without hesitation or embarrassment, just like she would state Happy Meals are the best birthday presents. _

"_Yeah well glad to hear I can back up my reputation." It came out snappy, even though I didn't want it too. But at this point it's the only tone of voice I could use that wouldn't be shaky or tear-filled._

_Brittany slid her underwear and sweats on. "I didn't mean it like that." She continued to dress. "I just meant that, I liked it."_

"_Okay." I nodded and shrugged._

_Brittany pulled her shirt on and plopped herself on the floor next to me. Her hand touched my thigh and I shuttered from the contact. My skin was still on fire and her hand sent a new wave of heat throughout my body._

_I wanted her to do to me, what I had done to her, but there's no way I could handle the after part. Last time in the pool I had a near meltdown, and right now I'm just about to do the same thing. Any further progress and my head might implode._

_So before she could go any further, twist my emotions tighter, or say something that might start me crying, I leaned down and rested my head on her lap. It was my only defense. I curled my body into itself and shut my eyes tight. Again the cool fabric of her sweatpants pressed against my face and fought against the heat scolding my cheeks. Within seconds I could feel my body temperature slowly normalizing._

_A small gust of air brushed across my skin, and a thin layer of cloth consumed my body. Brittany had covered me with the blanket. She must have noticed that goose-bumps were crawling up my legs. Till that point I had forgotten that I was in my underwear and I hadn't noticed the chills across my skin. _

_Her hand pressed against the middle of my back. She didn't rub or pat me. She just kept her hand still. It was exactly the right amount of post-cuddling I could handle, and it was going pretty good considering it was my first time._

A passing semi honked twice from outside the open motel window and shook me awake from my memory.

"Do you think they have room service in this place? Cause I want a burger." I asked Finn. I couldn't take the awkwardness any longer and I knew if I didn't say something bitchy I would breakdown. If I just acted like this was typical for me, then Finn would stop being so weird.

I leaned away and began shuffling through the nightstand for a phone book.

"I thought I'd feel different after." Finn spoke into the stagnant room.

"Yeah." I leaned back against the bed's backboard with the frayed phonebook. "Well, I've noticed that it takes about twenty or so times before the feeling of accomplishment really kicks in."

_Good. _That helped build me back up. Just treat this like any other liaison and I'll be fine.

"There's no menu, so you're gonna have to take me to a burger joint." I insisted. A burger joint is way better than sitting here in this rock-hard bed, waiting to be judged. I preferred I didn't go anywhere with him, but I felt it was asking too _much _to tell him to take me home.

"How do you feel?" The question rolled off my tongue before I could stop it. I knew the answer was something I would regret hearing, but I couldn't wait any longer. I've never slept with a guy who didn't have immediate positive praise.

"I don't feel anything." Finn didn't even look at me when he spoke. "'Cause it didn't mean anything."

I swallowed the heavy sob that almost escaped, and almost choked. _It didn't mean anything. _Those words crowded and shoved away every other thought.

With more grace than I thought I could muster I reached for my cell phone and quickly sent a text.

_Can I come over?_

I set the phone on the nightstand and tossed the covers off my legs. Without turning to Finn I swung my knee-length pea coat over my shoulders and began slamming my feet into my heels.

"Where are you going?" Finn continued to speak with his monotonic boyish tenor.

"Puckerman's." I refused to look towards him. "This was a waste of my time. Call me when you know what you're doing."

I swung my purse across my shoulder with a little extra force and stormed out the door.

The hallway was deserted. Long, grungy, and barren. Good thing, because I couldn't hold back the cry that was begging to escape. My hand shot up to silence the momentary breakdown. Right now wasn't the time to run from a cheap motel room crying hysterically. I needed to keep myself together. After a short taxi ride I can fix this problem.

XXXxxxxXXXX

The taxi pulled up to the house. A porch-light was glowing above the front door and silhouetting the girl on the second wooden step. I handed the driver a twenty dollar bill and told him to keep the change.

It took all my strength to crawl out of the taxi. I was fighting back tears and fighting the urge to tell the driver to just speed away and take me home. But I opened the door and stepped out into the cool evening. Definitely too cool to be wearing a lacy nightgown (minus the underwear) and a pea coat.

The heels I was wearing clicked across the pavement as I approached. I stuffed my hands into my pockets and smiled at Brittany. She held a cup of milk pinched between her knees and waved. Her tight-lipped smile signaled that she had a large mouthful of cookies stuffed in her cheeks.

I took one step up, turned, and sat next to the blonde.

"Want a cookie?" She asked with her hand over her mouth, holding back the cookie-chunks trying to escape.

"I think you ate them all." I looked at the empty plate behind her in an attempt to distract from my struggling voice. But its sullen quietness had betrayed me. There's no way Britt won't notice.

She held her cup of milk towards me and shook it until a small chocolate chip cookie floated to the top. "They're hard to grab now. I was kinda just waiting for it to get completely mushy so I can drink it like a milkshake, but you can have it if you want."

Her cute-generosity caused me to laugh. But that laugh quickly changed. The small amount of emotion I had allowed to escape my lips derailed and turned negative. The next noise that escaped me wasn't a laugh, but was a resistant whimper.

And the flood gates poured. The sobs were ragged and painful, because I was trying to constrain them. Finn (out of all people) had wrenched out and stomped on every last shred of humanity I had left.

I shoved my palms over my eyes and tried to force the tears back in. It was useless though.

I opened my eyes to find my head once again in Brittany's lap. Who knows if she pulled me into her, or if I laid on her…I didn't even know how much time had passed.

"It's okay San." Brittany spoke from above me and brush her fingers through my hair.

The recollection of how I'd put her in this position before smothered me. _How could I be so selfish? _I swore to myself that I would never breakdown like this again in front of her. Trying to abide by my promise I sat up from Brittany's lap.

Her lip pouted at the sight of me.

"Look." She dug in her pocket. "I brought you this to make you feel better." She extended her palm towards me holding a purple jolly rancher.

I used the back of my hand to lazily wipe away the tears. "How'd you know I would need to feel better?" I laughed again, but this time the accompanying tears didn't follow.

"Well," She set the candy in my open hand. "You asked if you could come over. Usually you just say you're on your way. And I'm your best friend; I'm supposed to know this stuff."

I unwrapped the candy, but waited to put it in my mouth. I was trying to think of how to tell Brittany about what had happened and why I was crying like this. Maybe I shouldn't…and couldn't. When I looked at her, she was waiting for me. Not impatiently. Just waiting.

I couldn't leave her hanging. She'd waited outside on her porch to keep the conversation private, brought me a jolly rancher, was eating mushy cookies instead of running inside to get fresh ones, and knew she was going to have comfort me.

"It didn't go well with Finn." I said and shoved the candy into my mouth. If I clanked the jolly rancher around my teeth, maybe it would drown out Finn's recent confession that had driven me to run away from a motel room crying.

"That figures. It was probably like trying to do it with Wall-E." She smiled. And when I didn't respond she continued. "Whatever he said…it's not true. You know that."

"He said I didn't matter. That sex with me meant nothing." I turned my neck to look directly at her. Again my eyes flooded with tears, but I refused to let them fall.

A scowl crossed Brittany's face. "Duh." She crossed her arms.

I returned with an echoing scowl.

"He's a dummy San. He's too obsessed with Rachel to figure out that he slept with the hottest girl in the world. Which is totally insane, cause I'm pretty sure Rachel Berry is Hagrid, groundskeeper of Hogwarts."

Another laugh escaped my lips. I adored how Brittany always thought of the best Rachel Berry insults. I'll have to keep that one in my back pocket.

"Crap." I slapped my hand to my forehead. "Coach Sylvester's gonna find out."

"That Finn has a Harry Potter fetish?" Brittany questioned.

"No." I cringed at the thought of what she would do to me. "That I don't have a younger man. All of this nonsense was for nothing. If anything it made Finn hate me even more than he already did."

"It wasn't for _nothing." _Brittany said the last word softly trying to hint at something.

I tried to think of what she would be hinting at, but answers escaped me. No way could sex with Finn be a positive thing. Afterwards I turned up on Brittany's doorstep like a blubbering idiot, and blew my one shot at a suitable boyfriend that would put me in Sue's good graces.

"It got you to come hang out." She shrugged.

That answer from Brittany was true, but it was only scratching the surface. I would have come over anyway. There was something she wasn't saying, and something I suddenly needed to force out of her.

"How was sleeping with Finn a good thing?" I reworded the question. Maybe I could trick her into answering it.

She shrugged again. "Remember what you said to me that one day after Celibacy Club? After I told you I had sex with all those guys."

My stomach dropped and brought me back to Karofsky's comment about Brittany doing it with anyone. I had tried to shove away my confusion about the issue, but it had creeped itself back. Recently it had snuck from the back of my mind and was whispering contradictions.

_She does it with anyone._

_You're her best friend._

_Why are you doing it with her, when you could get any guy in the school?_

_What if someone found out?_

_But it's just two friends fooling around. Having fun._

_It's nothing serious._

"Yeah?" I responded and again shoved away the thoughts.

"Well do you remember what else you said?" She asked.

I shook my head _no. _

"You said _who cares what others think of you and sex shouldn't define who you are. _And _it only matters what _I _think." _She quoted me.

I was in awe that she could remember that. Not only was she in tears at the time, but it was so long ago that I barely remembered my own words. But I did remember pleading with her to be okay.

I nodded, completely lost for words.

"Well I think this is the perfect opportunity for me to say that. We are best friends and I just want to make sure you to know that. And it only matters what I think." Brittany placed her hand on my knee. The touch wasn't intimate, but it was something that truly defined how close we really are.

"What do you think?" I braved the question. I wanted to tack on, _about doing stuff with me _or _about our relationship, _but I wasn't quite that brave.

She paused to think. I knew I had caught her. She was digging, searching, and probing her mind for the one response that would fit this exact circumstance. Brittany knew exactly what I was asking. She knew that our friendship had changed…or evolved and no matter how indifferent and detached she sometimes acts about the situation I know she thinks about it.

"Thaaatt…" She suspended her response. "Finn was wrong about what he said. And you mean something."

She didn't come out and directly say it, but she hinted at the question I had hidden and handed to her. Underneath her Brittany-shell, she was giving me an answer (however vague it was). I meant _something_. Whether it was about how others felt about me, about how Finn felt, or about how she felt…

And I know she would come out and say it if it wouldn't have caused me to drop the topic like a sack of potatoes. I'm the kind of person that is reserved. I don't express how I _feel _about _relationships_, and she knows that. She knows my actions speak loud and trying to force words will only push me away.

I asked a vague question, and got my vague response.

**A/N: Quick addition. I originally posted this story without this note in it, but I wanted to comment on the beginning of this chapter. After a review, and a little bit of thinking, I'm hoping the "Vague" description of who Santana's with at the start was clear. She's with Finn at the motel (the Madonna episode). Initially I was going to title this chapter "Vague", but ultimately changed it to "Virgin" seeing as how I thought it fit better. I tried to keep Finn's identity hidden for a bit, because I _was _trying to tie it in with the last chapter. As a reader I wanted people to think it was Brittany, because I was trying to make a connection between how Santana see's "sex" with guys (Finn) and how she sees it with Brittany. If that didn't come across properly I truly apologize.**


	12. The Beautiful Things That People Say

**A/N: Here's another update. When writing it, the pace was a little different, and I'm not sure how well that translated. Please leave me a review and let me know what you want to see. It helps to give me ideas for future chapters.**

**Also, if you get really...really really (really) bored, I re-edited and added to my earlier chapters (1-6). All the concepts are the same, but some things are different. If you don't go back and reread it, everything will still make sense. But if you're interested in revisiting some early chapters then I say go for it! :) enjoy!**

**Chapter 12 : Beautiful Things That People Say**

Stressful doesn't even begin to describe the week I'm having. For starters, some journalist is coming to do a piece on the _Cheerios. S_eeing as how I'm head cheerleader Sue's treating me like a pin-cushion. She's taking all of the worry and pressure out on me. Ever since Kurt and Mercedes joined I've constantly had to battle with the repercussions of their inability to fit the _Cheerio _standard. The other day Mercedes even came up to me and Britt and asked how we stayed so skinny.

I can't deal with that. I don't have time to coach the perceived imperfections of others. At the time I told her it was because of _Sue Sylvester's Master Cleanse, _but that's a load of crap. I stay skinny, because I got genetically lucky. Having Mercedes constantly barrage me with her problems is starting to take a toll. _How do you do this, why do you do this, perfect this, perfect that. _It's making me think the reporter won't have good things to say about us, and Sue says that Nationals is riding on the positive outcome of this week. If we get a bad rep, it's over for us. It's over for me.

The title of head cheerleader is empowering, I just haven't found how to handle the power yet. Being held up on Sue's little pedestal is not only wearing me out, but it's making me realize all the imperfections I have. I would never give back the honor of being head cheerleader, but I'm beginning to wonder how long my sanity will stay intact.

Also, _why the hell were Mercedes and Kurt allowed into _Cheerios_? _Sure they're in Glee Club and they can sing, but those things are true about me. I can sing, I just haven't been given the opportunity to show off what I can do. I'm too busy dealing with _Cheerios, _that asking for a solo in Glee club will only add extra stress.

"Hey Mercedes." Brittany said as she approached. Britt and I had been the first into the choir room and took two seats in the top row. "You look delightful today."

Mercedes took the seat next to Brittany and I was thankful that I had gone out of my way to take an end chair. I don't have anything against the girl, but I just can't dish out any more advice without wanting to strangle her. According to Sue, my entire future was riding on the ability of _Soul Train _to drop ten pounds by the end of this week. But that's not what was really bothering me. I just didn't understand why Mercedes was instantly handed the torch after I've been fighting for it for so long.

"I don't feel so delightful. That shake is awful. It's like drinking metal shavings." Mercedes shifted in her chair.

Rachel and Jesse walked in. They were giggling and pinching each other and I let out a groan loud enough for them to hear. I hated how lovey dovey they acted. It was sickening to watch. "Please do not do the dirty in front of me. I might just vomit on your kippah Berry."

"Sounds dirty." Brittany nudged me in the arm making me to smile for the first time that day.

"A kippah is the hat that Jewish men wear." Rachel scoffed, flipped her hair, and took a seat in the next row down.

"I stand by what I said." I looked down to check my nails.

"You know what Santana yo-," Jesse turned and started to talked to me.

But I cut him off. "Oh not you too. Don't even think about talking to me until you shave that crazy Nicholas Cage hairdo off your oversized dome. It seriously looks like someone took the hair from a Lego man, used the Honey-I-Shrunk-The-Kids shrink ray in reverse, and stuck the resulting product onto your head."

"Oh I love that movie." Brittany chimed in. "We're all the size of boogers!" She quoted the movie. "Ron's my favorite. He's super cute."

"Who's super cute?" Tina asked as she pushed Artie into the choir room with Kurt, Matt and Mike trailing behind them.

Tina was wearing black lace stockings, dark boots, and a top that reminded of a mix between a dress and a coat. Her look was unique and made me wish I could take this stereotypical _Cheerios _outfit off. I wanted to make my own style instead of having one chosen for me.

"We were just talking about how Santana and Brittany are jealous of me because they're single." Rachel spoke first. She reminded me of an annoying little Chihuahua that always had to cut in front to be the first one out of any door.

"We're not jealous." Brittany said before I could bitch at Rachel. "You're jealous that all the boys in the school would rather hit _this_." Her comeback was perfect. She wasn't trying to be mean, she just naturally always had the perfect, quirky, retort. And after spending so much time around me, I wouldn't expect any less.

"That's surprisingly witty considering the source." Jesse dared.

My pulse heightened and my blood quickened. I was already on edge because of this week, and Jesse was begging to push me over. My jaw was clenching, my fists were balling up, and I held my breath. I felt like a Loony Toon that was about to go nuts with rage and start jumping up and down, pounding my fists in anger.

I was so focused on honing down my outburst that Rachel had the opportunity to spit out another equally annoying statement. "Think what you want, but I know for a fact that at least one guy would pick me over you. Jesse would never betray me."

Brittany spoke for herself. It may have been one of the first times that happened. Usually I'm all over defending her, but I was suddenly fascinated by watching her. "That's not true. Just the other day he told me I had the legs of a Greek Goddess." The other students in the choir room held back a half gasp, half laugh.

I scanned the room to see Artie and Mike exchange a look of agreement and Tina dart her eyes back and forth between Rachel and Jesse.

"I was simply making a statement…" Jesse tried to defend himself.

"Mmmhmm." I finally decided it was my turn to get into this little argument. "Likely story. Life dating a hobbit is hard; we all accept and understand your fleeting glances and need to look elsewhere for satisfaction."

"Jesse does not have fleeting glances." Rachel defended him and completely ignored my insult towards her. If she hadn't leaned away from Jesse before saying that I may have taken her defense seriously.

But I decided to ignore Rachel and aim at my real target. The guy who had initially stalled my engine. "I'm going to tell Mr. Shue to change your first name on the roll call to _Hey_, and your last name to _Arnold_." I looked at Jesse and smirked.

"Come on guys," Mercedes intervened. "Let's cool down."

"Glad I'm not the only one who needs to take a cold shower." Brittany chimed in. She followed by looking at me and smiling.

Everyone raised an eyebrow and looked to Brittany, thankfully not noticing that her statement was directed at me. If they even decided to take her remark seriously, they probably would have connected it with Jesse _heating her up._ She just shrugged at the attention. And when everyone turned away she looked to back to me and I returned the smile.

The rest of the club filtered into the choir room and quickly started into their own conversations. Both Matt and Mike turned around to talk to me, Brittany, and Mercedes.

"You guys excited for the basketball game this weekend?" Matt asked both of us.

I shrugged indifferently. "We're really more focused on the pep assembly."

"I'm excited for the basketball game. I've never cheered at one before." Mercedes smiled.

Tina turned around from the front row. "I'm looking forward to seeing Miss Mercedes perform at the assembly. Along with you girls of course." Tina looked to Brittany and me. "It's your first performance as head cheerleader right?"

I was so shocked by her recognition that I didn't know what to say. I've been getting so much attention lately for being head cheerleader, but none of it was for the accomplishment. Nobody actually went out of their way to acknowledge that I had upgraded. They all just acted like it was something that happened one day.

"She's super excited." Brittany answered for me. "Sue moved both of us up in the performance. Now we're highlighted in all routines."

"That's great guys." Tina smiled.

I returned the smile. I couldn't help but be brought back to that party when she ran out to my car and grabbed my sweats. Afterward she never said anything to anyone about my weird behavior, never mentioned me standing soaking wet in nothing but my spankies and _Cheerios _jacket, and never thought about questioning why I was in that position in the first place. Both her and Mercedes pretended like it never happened. And I would have believed them if it weren't for the event that had happened before. Being in the pool with Brittany was real…

"Alright guys." Mr. Shue interrupted everyone. Once the club quieted he continued. "I've found a place to rehearse."

Everyone excitedly spoke amongst each other. Brittany leaned into me and whispered, "Is everything alright." My confused look prompted her to continue. "You seem a little more sassy than usual."

"It's nothing." I tried to assure her. Right now wasn't the time to explain my stress and I wasn't even sure I wanted to talk about it in the first place.

"Settle down guys." Mr. Shue spoke over us. "Now I spoke with April Rhodes and she's letting us use some space at Rinky Dinks."

"A roller rink?" Tina was the first to question the odd rehearsal suggestion. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who disapproved the this. Whenever I think of roller rink, I think of lame sixth grade _field trips _where we were forced to only skate with a chaperon and got in trouble for skating during couples skate.

"Weren't those outlawed in, like, 1981 for being totally lame?" I echoed Tina.

"Oh come on guys. Where's you sense of adventure?" He looked way too enthusiastic about this. "This space is great and April is giving it to practice in for free."

"Mr. Shue?" Kurt raised his hand and interrupted the cheesy roller rink rant. "If I may?" Without waiting for an answer Kurt stood up from his seat and walked out to face us all. "The New Directions is clearly a club with a dearth of direction. Rachel and Jesse refuse to accept that all of us would rather die before we allow them to become the next Beyonce and Jay-Z," I gloated from that comment. "And Finn's mother's romance with my father is sending him into a wholly unnecessary tailspin of despair. What we all need right now is to explore the idea of a sense of place…and how if we find that place within," Kurt grabbed a stack of sheet music and handed it to Mr. Shue, "we will get that happy ending." He turned and walked toward the piano. "Brad, B-flat," He directed the guy sitting there.

As the sheet music was passed around Brittany turned to me again, "What does Finn have to do with anything?"

"Kurt's like a never ending talker. You kinda just gotta tune in at the beginning and the end." I tried to explain even though I was confused myself.

"So basically he's talking about happy endings."

Rachel leaned back and handed me the sheet music. The piano started before I could continue my conversation with Brittany.

_A chair is still a chair_

_Even when there's no one sitting there_

Kurt turned from the piano and faced us all. At Kurt's song choice, I watched everyone exchange confused looks. But for some crazy reason the song began to comfort me. I'd only ever heard it once before, but I had liked it then. When I asked what it was about, I was told that it meant the people in your life are what make your life precious, not the physical possessions or accomplishments.

_But a chair is not a house_

_And a house is not a home_

_When there's no one there to hold you tight_

_And no one there _

_You can kiss goodnight_

_A room is still a room_

_Even when there's nothing there but gloom_

With my eyes locked on Kurt I held my hand up and extended my pinkie towards Brittany. At this moment I didn't care if people saw or judged, or questioned. Brittany's my best friend, and the one person who I feel totally comfortable with.

I didn't look towards her, but I could see her smiling at me from the corner of my eye. She grabbed my pinkie with hers. We dropped our hands in between us and I rested my head on her shoulder. I knew that nobody would question us, and at this time, if they did, I wouldn't care.

_And a house is not a home_

_When the two of us are far apart_

_And one of us has a broken heart_

Kurt continued to sing and I closed my eyes.

xxxxXXXXXXXxxxx

Glee rehearsal at the roller rink turned into everyone just skating. And surprisingly I was having fun. Brittany was pulling my around in circles and we were racing Artie and Tina. Except we were losing. It wasn't fair that Artie had gigantic wheels.

The roller rink was about the size of a basketball court. Colored disco lights flooded the floor and music echoed througout the entire building. The rink was crowded to the point where any deviation from a perfect loop would send me bumping into a passerby.

I lost balance and used Brittany to catch myself. We laughed as I struggled to keep from falling on my ass. I pride myself on being athletic, but I haven't been on roller skates since I was still losing my baby teeth.

"They're winning!" Brittany shrieked through her laughter. "Go fast Santana."

"I can't." I tried to make my skating look natural, but instead I looked like a penguin trying to run on ice.

Kurt and Mercedes gracefully passed us. It was oddly majestical watching them float by with poise and ease.

"Wait guys!" Brittany called for them and again sent us in a flurry to keep balanced.

I turned my feet inwards and came to a complete stop, but refused to let go of Brittany's hand just in case I started to struggle again. My muscles froze with my knees touching. If I hadn't been on a roller skating rink I'm sure my current stance would signal I had to pee, not that I was uncoordinated on wheels.

Kurt and Mercedes swooped, reversed, and skated back towards us. "Britt I expected more from you." Kurt _tisked_ and put his hands on his hips. "I anticipated Michele Kwan, not Barney on ice."

"Oh Kurt. Give them a break. They can do back flips and stretch like pretzels." Mercedes tried to defend us.

"I've never skated before," Brittany kept her knees locked and her hand tightly clasped around mine. It was comical that both of us were holding on desperately to each other. As if that was safe…

"It's easy." Mercedes nodded for Kurt to follow. She skated toward us and linked her arm with me. The second I grabbed onto her I felt far more stable. "Okay Santana you've got to let go of Britt though or we're all gonna go down."

I turned to Brittany, who had linked arms with Kurt. I frowned and waved goodbye to her while Kurt and her began to 'skate' away.

"Okay just keep your balance. And you can't move if you don't bend your knees." Mercedes pointed down to my board straight legs.

"Oh." I tried to relax.

"Better. Now just push off with your dominant leg and catch yourself with the other." She encouraged.

So I tried. Either it was her advice or the fact that I was clinging to someone with superior skating abilities, but I was beginning to move easier. The skates on my feet started to glide instead of clop across the floor.

The two of us continued around the ring, her keeping a tight grip around me, and me finally getting the hang of the roller rink thing. "How's the diet going?" I sparked a conversation. The silence was a little awkward and it was the only thing I could think to talk about. Other than Glee club, the only thing I know that Mercedes likes is _Cheerios. _

"Gave it up." She said proudly.

I waited for her to continue. Panicking about the pep assembly tomorrow and Sue freaking out on me was only going to make me to fall on my ass.

"It just wasn't me. I don't think _Cheerios _is for everyone. I can't ever be that skinny." Her words struck an off chord in me, just like Kurt's song the other day. "If Quinn is giving me advice on how to be myself, then I know I'm doing something wrong."

"Quinn Fabray?" Maybe I didn't hear her right. "Quinn was being nice? To you?"

"Yeah." She shrugged.

Blame it on the week, blame it on whatever, but I suddenly felt the urge to help. "But our performance is based around you're vocals. We're nothing without you." Though hard for me to admit, it was true. Going out in front of that reporter without our lead was like lopping of our own heads.

"But you guys are. You were something before me, and you'll be something once I quit." Mercedes said. Her words and her confidence told two completely different stories. "That reporter Tracy."

"Wait." I tried to stop dramatically, but my slipping skates ended up bringing us both to a slow rolling stand-still. "The guy who short-listed for the Pulitzer last year?"

Mercedes looked completely lost at my overreaction. "I suppose. I have no clue."

"Shit." I started to panic. "Why the hell didn't Sue tell us this? This guy doesn't come to high schools teams just tell how great they are. He comes to expose faults."

"That's exactly what Sue told us. He's coming here to find all our imperfections." Mercedes and I slowly _skated _toward the edge.

"No." I said frustrated. "He's like some sort of human activist. I'm not really sure what that means, but he writes about equality and everyone getting a chance. I think his pieces are a load of hooey, but that scale of negative 'exposure' will destroy us."

"So what do we do?" Mercedes once again asked me a question. It felt so weird having the _Cheerios _come to me for answers. I still wasn't used to the responsibility.

"…Sing a different song." The words shocked me. I couldn't believe they came out of my mouth. "I heard you humming that Christina Aguilera song. Sing that. I'm sure I can get the _Cheerios _to go along with it." I paused. "And don't tell Sue, she'll never agree to it. At least that's what I would do?" I asked the question, and when Mercedes shook her head yes I continued. "I have a hard time believing the reporter will disapprove of that. And if we continue with our current routine we're screwed with or without you."

"There's no way Kurt's going to go along with this." The both of us stepped out of the roller rink and took a seat on the closest bench. "He practically begged me to stop eating."

I'm mean sometimes, but even that seemed a little harsh. I have no problem calling someone out when they deserve it (or don't), but never in a million years would I say something like that to Brittany. It literally was impossible for me to have a mean thought towards Brittany. "Don't tell him."

Mercedes both rolled her eyes at me and smiled. "We need to separate before someone thinks we're friends." She joked.

"Quickly." I reached down and began to untie my roller skates.

Mercedes got up and returned to the rink, while I continued to take off my skates. My feet were cramping. The entire time I had been trying to grab the skates with my toes figuring that would keep me from falling. I felt like one of the women who had tiny feet shoved on their feet to keep them from growing.

I set the skates underneath the bench and stretched out. Finally I could relax. Any longer out on that rink and I was going to pass out from constricting all my muscles at the same time.

"Hey!" Brittany slammed against the exit. Her body was stopped by the wall and thanks to the wall, she was able to keep herself from falling. Kurt stopped to make sure she got out safely, and left once she was sitting next to me. "I fell." The bench bounced as she scooted closer to me.

"I remember. We both fell." I cringed at the memory of slamming my elbow against the wooden floor. A momentary ache returned to my arm at the thought.

"See look." Brittany turned her arm over to reveal her elbow. "Road rash."

There was a shiny red patch hugging her elbow. The red tissue was exposed and a small bruise was starting to circle her arm. I turned my elbow over to make sure I didn't have the same thing, but I was fine.

"Geez Britt. That's pretty bad." I bent over and began untying her skates. "We need to wash it out before it scars." I pulled the skates off her feet and sat back up. She was still examining her wound. "They should have band aids and stuff at the snack counter."

We stood up and headed that direction. Walking on solid, stable, ground felt like walking on top of water. When I expected my feet to slip forward, they didn't. They remained in the firm in the spots I stepped.

The two of us walked past Mr. Shuester and April. It looked like he wanted to get our attention to say something, but I quickened my pace. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to him. He was just going to tell us we needed to start rehearsing, and the roller rink was now number twelve on my list of fears.

"Hey." I interrupted the guy behind the counter as he was talking to another customer. "We need a band aid and Neosporin."

He looked back to the customer to apologize for my rudeness and reached under the counter. "Bring it back." He slid the small first aid kit towards me.

"Or I'll just grab what I need." I flipped open the lid and pulled out one band aid, and one thing of Neosporin. "Here." I shoved it back toward him without closing the lid and began leading Brittany to the girl's bathroom. Her pinkie caught mine as we continued. Whenever we weaved through public places she would reach for me, just so we didn't get separated.

The bathroom's were in the far east corner. Above the two doors read _Guys _and _Gals. _It always irked me when people tried to be creative with their bathroom names. What's wrong with _Men _and _Women. _Last time when Brittany and I had been at a club, she insisted we enter into the _Outties _bathroom instead of the_ Innies..._It took me awhile to explain to her that they weren't talking about bellybuttons.

I felt the coldness of the tile seep through my socks as we stepped through the _Gals _door. Without shoes, I made it a point to direct us away from the stalls. I reached over the beige-marble tiled sink turned on the water. "Put your arm underneath that."

"This is totally like Greys Anatomy." Brittany bent down to get her elbow within the running water. "You're so nice Santana."

I peeled open the band aid, grabbed a paper towel, and twisted open the cap of the mini-Neosporin. By the time I was done setting up everything, Brittany turned off the water and stood back up. I handed her the paper towel. "Yeah. Lately I've been acting like that. It's weird."

"It's not weird. You're always nice." She smiled and tossed the towel into the garbage after drying off all the excess water.

"I'm nice to you." I grabbed her wrist and held it up so the floor-burn was facing me. "Hold your arm there." I let go and grabbed the Neosporin. "I'm not nice to others." I squeezed a small dot on the band aid and carefully lined up the band aid so it covered her entire burn.

"I think you're nice." Brittany disagreed. When I finished smoothing the band aid, she stepped back and began running her fingers over the plastic skin-colored adhesive.

"A lot of people would oppose that statement. Just last week I overheard the science club calling me 'Slutana-Dead Star and Infinite Black Hole'. I'm not sure whether that was a reference to my sexual activities or my personality. Maybe that was the point…" I shrugged off the insult.

"You're not a black hole." Brittany frowned. She looked down at the floor and bit her lip.

I scanned the bathroom to make sure nobody was in it. Lately I've had difficulty interpretting Brittany's intentions, but I knew she was about to do or say something that I wouldn't want other people to see or hear.

The two stalls were empty and the _Gal _door was shut. Brittany looked back up from the floor and walked toward me. Her arms wrapped around my entire body and she pulled me into a bear hug. She tucked her face into my neck and squeezed me tightly against her chest.

"A hug?" I said with a mouthful of her hair. I pulled my arms from her squeezing grasp and wrapped them around her neck to return the hug.

Having her this close was both exhilarating and calming. I've grown used to being the one who comforts and protects her. I've grown so used to it, that I found it rare and precious when she treats me like this. Of course, if I thought about it I know she always treats me like this and my intentions just overshadowed hers. Just like school dances. Being so focused on your own dress and date makes for a pleasant surprise when you see your friends at the dance. The entire time you were dress shopping with them and getting your nails done, but it's not till the actual event happens that you truly take in their beauty.

It took me a moment to notice, but I felt her hand start tracing up and down my spine. Her fingers tickled in between each vertebrae. The pressure from each of her fingers searched for the small indents down my spine.

The lingering touches quickly turned me on, whether that was her intentions or not. I wanted to unzip her _Cheerios _top, but I knew the chances of someone walking in were likely. I may have started to finally feel comfortable innocently touching Brittany in front of others, but I wasn't about to stick my hands in her skirt in front of an audience.

"You're pretty Santana on the outside." She waited a second before continuing. "And beautiful on the inside."

I put the palm of my hand over her _Cheerio _top and against her stomach. That comment wasn't what initiated my sudden urge, it was only the catalyst. Unable to control myself, I pushed my hand hard up her stomach, over her ribs and stopped at her breast. A grunt escaped her lips and I squeezed.

We staggered backwards and slammed against the bathroom stall. I felt her body cringe from the pain, but she didn't let that stop us. Her hands dropped from hugging me and immediately one of those hands darted for my center. She pressed her fingers tightly against the outside of my spankies. My body hiccuped at the sudden intense pleasure and I relaxed the grip I had on her chest.

Her fingers pressed hard against me again and massaged the fabric in between her and my entrance. I widened my stance so she could have a better angle.

"Later Britt." I whimpered and tried to stop her, but if she continued I wouldn't have fought. I only pleaded that she took my suggestion seriously, before someone walked in.

She listened. She pulled her hand away from my _spankies _and I stepped away from her. "We have to be careful." I said, even though I was the one who started the fondling battle. I tried to slow my thundering pulse and calm my jitters before someone actually did walk in.


	13. The Other Things People Say and Think

**A/N: Hey! So maybe I'm one in a million, but I ADORED last nights episode. I actually am pleased with the way they left Brittana. Completely wide open for season 3. I was hoping for a little more, but I think an intimate moment between the two (that wasn't sexual) was necessary. It's exactly how I see this playing out between two real best friends.**

**So prompted by last night's episode, and...lack of reviews for my last chapter...I updated quick! Thank you to those who read and left a review, and thank you to those who read and didn't leave a review. I'm happy if people read. I'm happier if people say something about what they read though. So I wrote a chapter that you'll be forced to comment on :) ... I actually contemplated writing something ... off the wall to get reviews. Like DINOSAURS RAMPAGE GLEE CLUB. But decided not to ruin my story...ha. I'll save that for another fanfic (seriously).**

**I've also been wanting to do this beginning scene with Santana for a few episodes now and last night's episode final allowed me too. You may not have caught it, but I'll explain myself in an A/N at the end. I don't want to give anything away. Sorry for the long A/N. Read now. Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 13 - The Other Things People Say And Think**

"Hello?" A female voice echoed through the stalls.

I clenched my throat, held my breath, and closed my eyes. _How did I not hear someone walk in?_ Quick, think Santana. You're sick. That's right. The school lunch was bad. Wait, no. She'll never buy that. Nobody else got sick, and I don't even eat school lunch in the first place. I'm always toting around _Sue Sylvester's Master Cleanse _and making revolting faces at the filth the school calls a suitable meal.

Okay, so maybe I grabbed a bad batch of gummy worms. Britt and I always get something from the vending machine. The gummy worms were…_rotten?_ I looked into the toilet to see a small amount of white fluid. At this point, I wasn't even throwing up food. It was all stomach acid. And it doesn't even resemble gummy worms. That excuse will never fly.

I quickly flushed the evidence. I stood straight up, thankful that I hadn't gotten down to my knees to puke. The _Cheerios _skirt would have been a dead giveaway. At least now I can just wait it out. Wait till whoever's out there decides to walk away.

"Santana I know you're in there." The voice spoke my name.

My heart plummeted. Great. Plan completely ruined. No…no. You can still pull this off. Just, think. Say you're sick. Or, just don't answer. Stay quiet. Whoever it is will take the hint.

"Santana," she said again. "I'm not going away. This is the third time I've walked in during second period and have heard you ralphing. While I tend to avoid conversations like this, not because of their emotional depth, but because vomit makes me want to start gagging, I think someone needs to inform you that bulimia is not healthy."

"Berry?" I slammed open the stall and stepped out.

The brunette jumped from my outburst and tucked her books tightly to her chest. When she didn't speak I averted eye contact and walked toward the sink. I flicked on the faucet and held my hands under the streaming water.

Instead of leaving, Rachel stepped closer to me. She set her books on the bathroom sink and took a few gulps before speaking. "Because we are in Glee club together, I need to tell you that barfing away your calories will only make you pass out on the stage during Regionals."

"Oh shut the hell up and don't get any closer to me or I'll jab you in the throat." I turned away from her and began pulling an unnecessary amount of paper towels from the dispenser. I ripped the strand in half and folded it into a small square before holding it under the still running water.

Rachel took a step back. "Do you want me to find Brittany or Quinn?" She grabbed her books off of the sink.

"Are you serious?" I turned toward her and slammed the faucet off with a fist.

" No…" She stuttered. "That was a joke. I'm uh, well."

"Uh, uh, uh, eh, spit it out Chyna or leave." I snapped at her.

"Fine." Rachel looked at me from head to toe. "Why are you in here puking? You're one of the prettiest girls at school."

"Good point. _Why AM I puking? _Hm. You're not in here puking and look at all the guys crawling to be with you. Oh wait, nobody wants to date Flavor Flavs leftovers unless it's Jesse-Bobble-head. Me on the other hand, I can't walk down the hall without every single guy checking me out."

The lie rolled off my tongue so naturally. Technically it wasn't a lie, it was a true statement that was covering up a lie. Guys did constantly judge me, but there was something else behind my actions. Just these past few weeks I've resorted to this. It was necessary. If I could drop five pounds, Sue would put me at the top of the pyramid for Nationals.

"_Hey I got you this leather lingerie thing." Puckerman handed me a wad of leather straps. "This girl I was with awhile back wore it. And it'd look totally hot on you." He continued to explained himself when a disgusted look enveloped my face. "Oh no. This is fresh. I bought it last night. Stole it. But whatever."_

_I unfolded the straps and laid them out on the bed. "There's no way in hell this is gonna fit. It's made for a three year old."_

"_Oh, bummer." He sat up. "I gotta make a call." Puckerman crawled off the bed and headed for his cell phone._

"_A call?" I tossed the leather lingerie across the bed. "You're making a call when we're in the middle of this?"_

"_Yeah?" He laughed. "I told Mike I'd call him and I don't want to forget."_ _He placed the phone to his ear and waited for the other line to pick up. "Maybe if you try to squeeze into it or something."_

_I scoffed, jumped off the bed, grabbed my clothes, and left. _

"Hello," Rachel waved her hand in front of my face. "Did you even hear a word I just said?" She looked annoyed, not concerned.

"No."

"I said I don't want to get involved with this, but maybe you should talk to someone." Rachel slowly enunciated each word.

The door swung open and startled both of us. I jumped back and bumped into the paper towel dispenser, and Rachel spun around to face the girl who had just entered.

It was Brittany. Her fists were balled up and gripping the straps of the backpack that was lugging her down. If only she didn't put heavy, unnecessary, things in there it wouldn't be so heavy.

"Oh weird." Brittany stepped away from the shutting door. "For a second I thought you were Janice Dickenson, except your Jewish. And someone told me that raisins don't need to pee so she really wouldn't need to be in here." She spoke to Rachel.

"Goodbye." Rachel rolled her eyes and exited the bathroom. Just as she was pulling open the door she turned to me and nodded toward Brittany.

The door tapped shut and Brittany approached. "What'd she want?" She took her backpack off and clunked it on top of the sink. "Was she telling you that I eat the shell of sunflower seeds, because I told her not to tell anyone?"

"No Britt." I leaned toward the mirror and began using my moist, folded, paper towel to wipe around my lips. "What are you doing out of class?"

"Looking for you." She didn't hesitate to admit. Brittany jumped up and sat on the counter. Her legs playfully dangled and kicked below her. "It was boring."

"That's nothing new." I leaned back and tossed the soiled paper towel into the garbage. "We can ditch if you want. No practice after school, so maybe we can hit up the mall or whatever."

I turned to the blonde. I could tell her eyes had been locked on me the entire time, and she didn't seem embarrassed that I noticed. "Cool." An adorable smile spread across her face. "I've been wanting to get some new shoes."

"It's a date." I reached my pinkie out toward her.

She linked her pinkie with mine and jumped off the sink. "Oh shoot!" Her hand snapped up and slapped her forehead. "I almost forgot."

The unexpected yell frightened me. I felt my chest tighten from jumping.

"Rachel wanted me to ask you something." She stepped closer with our pinkies still interlocked.

My body sunk and I closed my eyes. That bitch already told her. _What did I expect? _I'm going to destroy her. Rachel Berry shouldn't have messed with me.

"She wants us to help her with her video project. She said we get to dress up as angels while she sings about some boy named Joey." Brittany's hand bounced mine up and down.

I opened my eyes and found her beyond excited. The adorable smile had extended into a joyful smile and her pinkie started to tightly clench around my own.

"Uh…" I couldn't find the words. I'd been too focused on trying to find words to explain the barfing thing, that was the last thing I expected her to say.

"It'll be fun!" We'll get to be in a music video and dress up like sexy hot angels."

I smiled at her rationalization. I shrugged, as if to say yes. Dressing up would probably be fun, even if it was within the same vicinity as Rachel 'Chyna' Berry. I picked up my duffle bag from underneath the sink and swung it over my shoulder and Brittany swung one strap of her backpack over her shoulder with her free hand.

"Maybe it'll even bump me higher on the _Glist_." She said as we began walking toward the door. "I tried to 'get my Glee on' in the library to seem badass," she used her free hand to quote herself. "I thought it was badass the librarian asked us to perform at her Sunday service, but Kurt said that's not the kind of badass the _Glist_ is looking for."

"You're a bad ass." I teased her. We were now walking through the empty halls.

"Only number four. I thought with all the stuff I'd been doing lately I'd be a little higher than that." She shrugged and suddenly the light-hearted nature of this conversation abruptly departed.

I knew the subject was touchy. The last conversation we had about Brittany's escapades resulted in her bawling her eyes out, and me convincing Quinn to join the Glee Club so I could cheer Brittany up. I'm not sure how many aces I have up my sleeve, so I know I'll have to tread lightly to keep that episode from repeating.

"It's a good thing." I softly bumped her.

"Do you think if people knew about some of the stuff we have done that I'd be higher?" She ignored my last statement.

_Okay THAT was the last thing I expected her to say._

"No." I quickly blurted and shook my head. "No Britt." But I knew damn well that if people got wind of our _extra-curricular_ activities that we'd be so high up on the _Glist_ that nobody could ever catch us. I started to panic. It was the same panic that'd I'd felt after being in the pool with her, and the same panic I'd felt after what'd I'd done to her on her couch. "I, uhm. Uh." Dear Lordy I'm stuttering like Rachel-frickin'-Berry.

"I know Santana." Brittany said. She answered my statement without me having to come out and say it. She knew that I wasn't sure about what we were doing in the first place, and she knew that if I wasn't able to figure it out, that it wasn't something that other people should know about. "And I wouldn't use us to boost my rep."

"Okay," I sighed. My hand reached forward and pushed open the exit. The both of us stepped out into the early-afternoon sun.

XXxxxXXX

**_Rachel's POV (thought I'd try something different)_**

They were plucking the fuzz from the angel wings. Brittany kept running her fingers along the edges and pinching small portions of the white fuzz in between her fingers. She would then proceed to pull the pinched clump and drop it on an unknowing Santana. She was filling the hoodie on Santana's sweatshirt with the precious angel wings I had spent hours upon hours searching for.

Santana was digging through the middle of the wings and pulling out pieces that stuck out. Just like someone who examined strands of their hair and pulled out the split ends.

"Stop ruining those please." I couldn't take it anymore. "I invited you over to help me with costumes for tomorrow night's production, not to obliterate my precious props."

Brittany's eyes widened as she noticed me. She dropped the final fuzz piece into Santana's hood and looked away, pretending that if I didn't make eye contact with her, she wouldn't get into trouble. Then she moved her hands to Santana's back and began to trace the sweatshirt's _Lopez _embossing with her fingers.

Santana rolled her eyes without even acknowledging me. She just continued to pluck at the stray fuzz.

Not only were they ruining the wings, but they were getting the scraps all over my bed. Santana laid flat across my mattress on her stomach, using her left palm to perch her head, and Brittany sat cross legged right next to her.

"You're getting it all over my bed." I set down the white dress I was sewing to fit Brittany. "Please stop getting it dirty. I don't want to wake up with white fuzzies stuck to my eyelashes."

"You're bed is like a sterilized chamber of boringness. We're only trying to help." Once again Santana disregarded my request and tossed another white chunk onto my scrunched and creased blanket. She stopped suddenly. "Ugh unless you and _Five-Head _have been doing the dirty in this." Her hands lifted away from touching anything.

"Gross." Brittany mumbled.

"No." I felt my face heat up. "W-We, we, haven't done anything." I quickly snatched up the white dress I had set aside and pretended to be fixing a seam.

"Thank God." Santana sighed and went back to picking.

"Good then you won't mind if we get it a little dirty." Brittany's distant demeanor said the _innuendo_ without even a second thought.

Santana did pause though. It was brief. Unnoticable if I hadn't been staring at her. She didn't say anything, but quickly returned her focus to the wings. Brittany's tracing hand lured me in again. It was still running across Santana's back. I guess her ambiguous sexual comments, and suspiciously suggestive touches were better than her destroying the wing.

Her and Santana have always been like that. Close. I was jealous that I couldn't admit to one person who I had that type of relationship with. Not even Jesse and I were that comfortable with each other.

Santana pushed herself off of my bed. "I need to pee." A small amount of the fuzz that Brittany had tucked into her sweatshirt hood spilled out the side.

"Okay." I set the dress down and stood up. "It's down the hallway, just past my "Little Miss Lima" sashes. If you -,"

Santana cut me off. "Yeah. It's the room with the toilet. I'm sure I'll find it." She scoffed and quickly left the room.

I sat back in my chair. I had pulled it out and placed it at the foot of my bed. Brittany watched me shuffle and when her eyes didn't pull away, I suddenly began to feel awkward. It was like she lacked simple social-etiquette. It's not okay to stare. "Please stop staring." I echoed my thoughts.

She pulled her eyes away and went back to picking at the wing…

"So." I tried to diffuse my built up self-consciousness, and distract her once again from destroying her costume. My mind immediately went to the memory of Santana puking her brains out in the bathroom. I have a duty to tell her best friend. It'd be wrong of me to let something like this linger. "Did Santana speak with you about earlier today?" I tried to seem indifferent.

"About what?" She turned to face me and abandoned the wing fuzz.

"Well, I could care less what Santana does to her body, but seeing as how you're her best friend I think you should have some say."

"Did she get a tattoo?" Brittany asked.

"What? No." I was a little thrown by the question.

"She pierced her nipple didn't she?" Brittany nodded her head. "I told her that would probably hurt, even though it would be kinda cool."

"…I wouldn't know." I said it slowly, even more thrown by the random _suggestion_.

"She-,"

I jumped in before she said something I really didn't want to hear. "She was throwing up." The words sent a silent chill throughout the room.

Brittany's aloof expression didn't seem to falter. "She was probably sick." And then it faltered. Only for a brief second, but it was long enough for me to tell that I'd got my point across.

"Yeah. Probably." I nodded and agreed with her.

Santana walked back into the room and jumped onto my bed. Her knees yanked and pulled my comforter further out of place. "Ready Britt." Her hands grabbed Brittany's elbow. Brittany held her façade, despite the bombshell I had just dropped on her. With more charisma than I thought possible she hopped off my bed and handed me the wing.

Santana followed her off the bed.

"Oh and there's a whole bunch of white fuzzies in your bathroom." Santana said to me but looked at Brittany and accused her (obviously finding the stash Brittany had been building in her hood).

"Production tomorrow ladies." I called after them as they walked arm-in-arm out of my room. "Please don't be late."

XXXXxxxxX

**Santana's POV (like always)**

The walk to my car had turned into a competition. We ran out of Berry's house, sprinted across her driveway, and leaped into the car I had parked on the abandoned street. I was beating Brittany, and I knew that running around the car to the driver's door would cause me to lose. So I decided to open the rear passenger door and hurdle into the back seat. Brittany, not wanting to lose the race by too much, followed me and we both piled into the back of my car.

After we halted our fit of giggling I turned in the seat to face her, one leg tucked underneath me. Finally after a day of passing glances, indicative touches, and lingering brushes I finally had her alone somewhere dark. We spent the entire day at the mall, got a salad from Breadstix, watched a movie at my house, and got a call around 6pm to meet at Rachel's. She wanted to run her music video directions passed us, and wanted extra hands to help sew a few of the costumes. And at the end of the day Britt and I had thrown ourselves into the back of my car, knowing full well what the consequences would be.

_The best thing about being crammed into the back seat of the car_? Her eyes. I'm a sex driven individual, which means I've never took the time to notice someone's eyes _before _or _during_. But suddenly I didn't want to look away. They were so bright. Bright enough to light up the dark car and keep me mesmerized. _How had I missed them before?_

My hand reached up and pressed against her cheek. Her face felt only slightly warmer than my own skin. It was smooth and soft. She grabbed my wrist and pressed my hand firm against her face. Her eyes closed and she snuggled into my palm.

Her body was still and no matter how riled up I was becoming, I couldn't bring myself to budge. She looked so content and peaceful.

Of course her eyes were now closed, but that doesn't mean I couldn't find something equally sexy to look at. Or even touch.

Her breath faltered under my hand and she spoke. The words were soft and smooth. "Rachel told me about earlier."

Every muscle in my body constricted. She must have felt my tense anxiety, because she opened her eyes. Again the sapphire in her eyes lit up the dark car.

"She said what you were doing in the bathroom." Brittany said.

I jerked away from her face and out of her hands that were clasping onto my wrist. I was pissed off. It wasn't Brittany that pissed me off. It was Rachel. I knew the second I walked out of the room to use the bathroom she would say something or ask Brittany if I had told her. Rachel was too nosey and annoying not to get involved. And she knew that Brittany would say something once we left, and therefore ruin my night.

"It's not true." I lied.

Brittany shrugged and leaned her head against the back of the car seat in the absence of my hand. "I don't know why you think you need to do that. You're perfect." Her hand rested on the jeans that covered my lap.

Her touch was like a catalyst. "It was easier. Quicker. I don't know. I just wanted to change a little." The honesty spilled out without much effort.

"But I don't want you to change." Brittany squeezed my thigh. "Please don't change."

A tear dropped down my cheek. I used the padding of my thumb to rub it dry. "Being head cheerleader is hard. So many people have their eyes constantly fastened to me. I feel like Sue's prized cow that's being criticized by every judgmental-but-indifferent farmer."

"You're not a cow…" Brittany pointed out. "If anything you're a shiny horse, or a lioness. Or even a cockatiel. Except you'd have to be a boy cockatiel cause the girls are grey and boring and the boys have yellow heads with rosy cheeks."

"Thanks." I wiped another silent tear with my flooded hand.

Her hand moved up from my lap and mopped my tear stained cheek. Her thumb caressed over my skin and I had to fight to keep from closing my own eyes and resting against her hand. I'm glad I have a similar affect on her, as she does on me. "Anytime." She smiled and pulled her hands back to herself.

We sat in the back of my car not in awkward silence, but in comfortable understanding. This conversation had gone exceedingly better than expected, despite the fact that I cried. My focus returned to her eyes. They were too magnetic to ignore. And the longer I stared at them, the antsier I got that she wasn't touching me.

I counted a few heartbeats before inviting her to continue, and subsequently asking if she still was _interested. _I reached out and grabbed her hand. They felt cold to the touch. I'd forgotten that it was cold outside, and without my car running we were slowly becoming aware of the refrigerated temperature outside.

I used both of my hands to rub her hand like a stick trying to start a fire. "Want to head home?" I asked. I knew she had to be cold. In fact, I was beginning to feel chills crawl up my arms.

"Not yet." She moved her eyes away from mine and began to watch me heat up her hands.

The butterflies returned. Those same crazy butterflies that had twisted and yanked at my emotions each and every time I got a little closer than a friend normally does with her best friend. And before I noticed, I had scooted closer to her. Without having to tell myself to do it, I swung one leg over her and straddled her lap, still keeping her hand tightly squeezed in between my own.

Now I could smell her shampoo. Funky bubblegum. It was sweet and intoxicating. Each time I got close enough to smell it, I wanted more than anything to be the one who rubbed it in her hair during a shower. I squirmed above her at the thought.

"See Santana. You look super sexy." Her hand pulled out from mine and she cupped it around my waist. Her other hand moved up and followed suit. Slowly her hands began to rub up and down my sides, dragging my sweatshirt up and down with her motions. "No need to change."

A throaty chuckle escaped. That laugh was unexpectedly genuine and when I looked back to Brittany she was returning an equally genuine smile.

Too fidgety to stand the innocent touching any longer, I tucked my arms into my sweatshirt and pulled it over my head. The car provided me with a clumsy struggle, but I stripped it off nonetheless.

"More." Brittany demanded.

She was talking about my clothes. So I continued. I grabbed the bottom of my tank-top and yanked it over my head. This time I wasn't as clumsy since the tank-top was considerably smaller and I knew which angle to pull to keep from hitting my head.

I tossed the garment on top of my discarded sweatshirt. "Happy?" I asked.

"Yes." Brittany returned her hands to my bare sides. I jumped from the chill and giggled. She pulled her hands back momentarily, but returned them once she saw that I didn't care.

She was soft. Her hands were soft. They tickled up my ribs and down my waist. We sat like that for awhile. Me straddling her. Her rubbing her hands up and down, reversing directions at my bra and waist. It was almost like she was warming me up. Like you warm up a motor….

"More." She whispered during an odd movement upward where her hands didn't stop. She proceeded to continue up, wrap around my back, and clasp the hooks from my bra. She tugged me close to her and into a deep kiss. If she hadn't distracted me, I may not have been okay with her unhooking my bra, but now I couldn't get her to take it off fast enough.

My tongue dipped into her mouth as she untangled the bra straps from my arms. It more difficult to remove than it should have been seeing as how both of us were entirely focused on each other. Her tongue caught mine and slowly traced it. Her lips would then find a new spot on my lips and take it into her mouth.

I'd been to entranced with her lips that I'd forgotten where her hands were. That's until I felt them trickle up my side again and cup my breasts. Both hands squeezed in unison and I had to stop the kiss to keep from choking on my air.

She squeezed again and dove back into my lips. My kiss was static, but her lips continued to push into mine. Finally I was able to catch up to her and returned the favor my sucking her bottom lip. I resonated my deep kiss by biting on the same spot I had just sucked.

When before her hands had felt cold against me, they now felt hot against my chest. I wanted more. I needed more than this. I was beginning to moan. Her lips were too soft, too tender, to wet.

"More." She said it in between breaths and into my mouth. She had read my mind. Her body twisted and I turned with her onto the seat. Instead of facing the back end of the car, I was now facing the passenger door.

While I straddled her lap her hands wrapped around my back. She carefully moved me backwards and laid me down across the tiny backseat. One leg was bent up in order to fit the length of the seat, and my other leg was hanging down off the seat and onto the floor.

The entire time her lips kept connected with mine. Keeping as close to me, her hands begun fumbling with the button on my jeans. As soon as she got them unbuttoned she jerked away and started to yank the denim down my legs. It took longer than I wanted. They were so tight. But once they were off and tossed into the front seat she lunged back to my lips.

I was beneath her, in nothing but my underwear, scrunched into the backseat, and my back was flat against the leather seat. _Why the hell haven't we done this in a car before? _It makes everything so much…closer.

"My unnt." I tried to speak, but her tongue stopped me.

"Hmm?" She groaned the question.

I didn't respond. I'd forgotten the question. I was lost in her. Her lips slipped away from mine and spotted down my cheek until she stopped at my neck. The tip of her tongue found every sensitive spot on my neck. Each time I wriggled, she would nibble at the spot she found.

"Underwear." I ordered her. It was the question I was going to ask her before, and I only now just remembered it.

She didn't answer since her mouth was busy my neck, but she trailed her hands down my chest, down my stomach, and grasped around the waistband of my panties.

Brittany struggled to remove them and keep her lips to my neck at the same time. But she did. One leg at a time.

Her mouth pulled away from my neck and she sat up on her knees in between my legs. Her eyes had glossed over from lust and her lips were a deep red. I imagined I looked like her. Tussled and erotic.

"I may not be good." She folded her hands on her lap.

I didn't know what to say, but I didn't need to answer. Her hand followed the confession by slithering up my thigh. Her two middle fingers pressed against my sensitive mound without hesitation. The touch caused me to twitch with pleasure. "You're good Britt." I answered her anyway.

She kept her hand where it was, but leaned back on top of me. Her lips met mine, but her kiss had changed. It was slower. Lighter, because her hand was busy pleasing me elsewhere. And I didn't mind the slower kiss. It gave me time to breath in between moans.

With my eyes closed I could only feel her lips leave mine. Shortly after that, her fingers stopped their small circles and pulled away. She pressed a soft kiss to my collarbone. Another soft kiss to my chest. Another just above my stomach. _Holy shit, she was going down. _My heart started to pound in my ears. I kept my eyes tightly shut. I remember she had closed her eyes when I had done it to her, so maybe it helped with the nerves.

She kissed below my bellybutton. And one final kiss on the crease where my legs met my hip. When she stopped, I knew what was coming. It was the one thing I had been waiting for ever since Quinn walked into the locker room and interrupted us.

And just like in the locker room she shifted me around so that my legs were now hanging over her shoulders. Laying in the backseat of a car called for intensified acrobatics. I had to scoot further towards her.

I thought about opening my eyes and seeing what was taking so long, but I was too scared. I didn't know how I would react if I actually could see the situation happening. So I kept my eyes safely pinched closed.

That's when her fingers touched me. They gently pulled back my folds. "You're really soft and slick." She echoed my thoughts about her from earlier (excluding the _slick _part_)_. I felt her shoulders dip beneath the weight of my legs. What I'm assuming had to be her tongue pushed inside of me.

The moist heat from her tongue cause me to let out a heavy groan. I flung the crook of my elbow over my mouth to cover the noise. I doubt Rachel could hear me from all the way inside her house, but I wasn't going to take any chances.

Her tongue pulled out and ran flat against my folds. When she reached my clit I felt her tongue dart out and flick. I jerked along with each flick she made. My muscles would tense and I had to force myself to keep it together at least for a few more seconds.

Again her tongue pushed inside of me, this time roaming against my walls. My head tilted back and my back arched.

She saw the signs and knew I was ready. Her tongue pulled out and repeated her previous motions. She ran her tongue up me, but this time stopped before flicking her tongue against my swollen mound. Instead she took me in her mouth and gently put pressure with her lips on _that _spot.

I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter and bit on to the inside of my elbow to keep from moaning out loud. I kept my pleasure to a vibrating whimper.

It was the first orgasm where I felt like my knees would have buckled if I were standing. I'd never had someone, not even a guy, do this to me. But I knew it wasn't the actions that caused my pleasure, it was the fact that Brittany was doing it to me. It was the feeling of her cheeks in between my thighs, of her tongue pushing into me, and that we were doing all of this in the backseat of my car.

She pulled away and placed her hand on top of my stomach as I came back down. And when I did, I held still to catch my breath. Brittany waited for me. But the longer I waited, the more butterflies in my stomach that started to die. I could feel them piling up again.

The panicked-feeling wasn't as intense as before. Probably because I knew that nobody could see us right now, but that wasn't the only reason I had freaked out last time and the time before. If I knew the reason I would fix it and make this building fright stop.

I pulled my legs off of Brittany's shoulders, tucked them to my chest, and twisted my hips sideways so my knees pressed against the back of the front seat. While doing so I moved the crook of my elbow up from my mouth to cover my eyes. I was beginning to get sore from keeping them so tightly shut.

Brittany's hand had slid of my stomach when I twisted, but since the backseat was so small I could feel her knees pressed against my exposed bottom and thighs.

She shuffled around. When she stopped, I felt her hands grab my ankle. The cloth of my underwear brush against my skin as she pulled my foot through the leg-hole. She twisted me back to laying flat on the seat, and pulled my other foot through the other hole.

She slid my panties up.

I pulled my arm away from my eyes to find her reaching in the front seat for more of my clothes. She shoved my bra and tank-top into my purse in the front seat, but pulled back with my sweatshirt. I sat up and grabbed the red _Cheerios _hoodie from her. When I got my arms and head through the sweatshirt, she finished by pulling it down my waist.

With clothes it felt easier. The pressure in my chest had reduced and I could finally bring myself to breath properly.

"Told you that you'd be good." A short laugh huffed through my lips.

XXxxxXX

**A/N: For those of you who didn't catch it, in last night's episode Rachel walked into the bathroom and heard someone puking. It was Sunshine, puking from nerves, but the first name she called was Santana. **


	14. Feelings of a Robot

**A/N: First and foremost I want to thank everyone for the reviews! I got the most I've ever gotten on the previous chapter! And I've gotten some of the kindest/best compliments. Now i'm terrified of writing something that isn't as good :0 But thank you thank you thank you! I've even developed some of the reviews into conversations through PMs. If anybody wants to just send a message to ask questions, say what's up, or whatever, you're always welcome. Of course leave a review as well :)**

**Oh! and to address a few of the reviews. I'm not sure if acknowledging bullimia should have been taken so 'lightly'. It is a heavy subject and the ONLY reason I felt it fit, was because it helped develop Santana's character and explain a little more of the how and why of her actions. In the realm of everything, I honestly felt it fit her character. And I don't really like taking on heavy subjects like that, I love writing humor, but a story needs depth to develop. I just hope that everyone thinks that as well. **

**Also, I dont have spell check...or someone that looks over my chapters...So I do apologize if you run across a grammer error. :/ I know that I hate it when I run across one in a story and it ruins the tempo. I'll do my best to not have any. AND I do admit to actually considering tossing this chapter. For the longest time I didn't feel it worked. But in the end, I was finally content and uploaded it. Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 14: Feelings of a Robot**

It all started a couple days ago. Was this jealousy, concealed payback? It was like she knew exactly how to push my buttons. Of course, I couldn't blame her. I deserved it. I more than deserved it. _How could I expect her to let me walk all over her and our friendship?_

So maybe I'm over exaggerating. Technically, I didn't walk all over her, but I didn't consider the consequences of my actions. The entire time I was only thinking about my reputation, my needs, my everything.

No. I can't say that either. The entire time I was thinking about her. That's why I did all of this. Because of her. Because I couldn't figure my shit out, and let things be.

It all started with Puckerman.

XXXXxxxxX

Things were going perfectly. That should have been the first sign. For the first time in a long while I was happy with myself. I was still confused as hell, but I was content. _Cheerios_, and the responsibility of head cheerleader, was finally beginning to simmer down. I got into a groove. Yell at girls during practice, yell at girls after practice, listen to Sue ramble about our chances for Nationals, and occasionally give advice to girls who asked for it. Easy.

Not to mention, Britt and I were in a good place. We hadn't hooked up since my car and we hadn't talked about it, but we were good. I felt content around her. Comfortable. The passing touches, suggestive rubs, and subtle hints were still there between us, like always, but I was able to control my feelings about them. Everything seemed to fit. It had become normal for us to act like that. To tease. To arouse. To flirt. To toy. I wasn't sure how our next…session…would play out, or when, but as of right now I'm okay with whatever happens.

That's until Puckerman screwed up everything.

"My mom found a mole on my head when she was washing my hair on Friday." I had met him in the abandoned choir room before school. We were sitting in the maroon plastic chairs that hugged the top corner of the top row. Normally (before everything with Brittany) I would have dropped him like a sack of potatoes on sight, without an ounce of remorse. Now I couldn't. I would never admit it, but I needed him. It hadn't really hit me until now how much of a weight he held in my life. It was hard to explain, especially to myself. The only thing that made sense was that he was the guy who persistently _looked up my skirt_. A crutch. A beefy, tough, masculine guy that fucked my brains out whenever I couldn't decide if I would rather have him or Brittany undress me. And now…he was a cowering, shaved, dog.

The second he waltzed into the choir room yesterday, minus his mohawk, my jaw (along with everyone else's) dropped. That mohawk was his signature. It told everyone he was a badass, and without it, he was goulash. Without out it, his reputation and mine were shot.

"You're mom still washes your hair?" I turned to him. _Great_, more proof that I was fooling around with a pansy.

"She started crying about sunblock and how she's always telling me to wear a hat when I'm cleaning pools. So she made me go see Dr. Freelander, the dermatologist. He said he had to shave my head to get a closer look at it. It was nothing! They maimed me over a freakin' freckle! I feel like that guy who lost all his hair and then lost all his strength."

"Samson?" I was a little taken aback by his cultural reference. I've never had a real conversation with him, but I pegged Puckerman as the stereotypical moron. Another reason why I continued to let him do whatever he pleased with me. Boneheads were the guys who always made me feel the most desirable. They were simple and straight forward. _You're hot…lets bone_. No questions, no second guessing, no feelings, no…confusion on my part.

"Agassi. This morning people actually had the balls to look me in the eye. I mean, it's just a mohawk, right? I'm still Pucksaurus." He leaned back into his chair.

"Actually, I don't know if it's the missing mohawk or the whining, but I'm totally not turned on by you right now." I jumped from my chair and stormed out of the choir room. It was the only thing I could think to say that would uphold at least some of my pride.

As I weaved through the passing students I forced myself to keep my head high. I know that some students had seen Puckerman and me in the choir room just now, and from an outsider's perspective it looked like I just rejected his pathetic ass. No way was he bringing me down.

_I can manage without his bad boy presence lingering in my reputation. I can. I have to. I just need to find someone else. Or at least show people that he'll come crawling back to me. That's all. Just hold out for a few days. Everything will be okay once his mohawk or reputation is restored._

"Hey Santana!" Brittany skipped out from a classroom and slipped her arm through mine. "So I talked to my teacher and she said if I turn in those missing papers she won't fail me."

"Hm." I couldn't bring myself to fully stray from my thoughts. I was too busy trying to find a way to uphold not only my reputation, but my sanity. And now having Brittany leach to my arm isn't helping with the sanity part. I need to figure out a way to keep me distracted from the panic inducing thoughts about her and the things I want to _do_ to her.

"Want to come to my house and help after school? I'm pretty sure they're somewhere under my bed. I totally remember copying them; I just forgot to turn them in." She squeezed my bicep tighter.

I had stopped listening the second she mentioned her bed. Beds were a bad thing for us…well, maybe _bad_ is the wrong word.

She leaned into my ear. "We can find something else to do on my bed if we get bored." The provocative words tickled the skin below my ear and sent an immediate heat down my body. I stepped and pinched my thighs together to keep the itch from making me to do something noticeable.

"Okay." I smiled. I completely tossed away the thoughts and fears that fogged my conscience in exchange for a knowingly promiscuous night. My one track mind couldn't be disrupted once she hinted at something like that.

"Santana!" Someone yelled my name a little too loud for comfort. I jumped and spun around only to be confronted with a felt tip mic inches from my face.

All of the air inside my lungs caught and I felt my chest cramp from pressure. The hand attached to the mic belonged to Jacob. _Jew Fro _saw and heard what Brittany just said to me. He got it all on camera and now he was going to air it over his stupid webpage. I was ruined.

"Tell me a little about what we all just heard." Jacob Israel shoved the foam covered mic so it was almost touching my lips.

I was speechless. Completely unable to make a noise. I had nothing to say to that. I couldn't deny it if he caught Brittany's words on camera, and I couldn't force myself to find an explanation.

Brittany leaned in front of my face. "It's true. I'm the real Slim Shady." She leaned back and pursed her lips into a straight smile.

As inconspicuously as possible, I unlaced myself from Brittany and folded my arms across my chest.

Nobody seemed to have a response to Brittany's casual comment, so Brittany leaned forward again. "If Sue Johanson has taught me anything it is to always use a rubber. Balloons aren't an appropriate form of contraception. In the heat of the moment I figured they would do the same thing, but in fact they were painful."

A short, stifled, laugh escaped my tightly sewn lips. Brittany had told me that story last weekend. I'm not sure if it was my acceptance with the entire Brittany situation that didn't cause me to go chaotic with jealousy, or the mere humor of the situation, but I was in hysterics the entire time she explained everything. It was a short explanation that ended with an over the pants massage to make her _owie_ feel better…

"Wowzers!" Jacob turned his full attention to Brittany but left the mic in my face.

The cameraman took a step closer when Jacob finally turned back to me. "Any comment Santana?"

"On?" I was able to speak after Brittany's quirky comment. It had lightened to mood and kept me from hyperventilating. But I still stood my ground, braced for impact, and anticipated the worst. I needed to keep a strong foot if I was going to defend against his impending lesbo-accusation.

"On the status of your man-candy of course!" He stuttered with excitement. "What do you have to say about Noah Puckerman's sudden drop to the bottom of the scrap pile and how will this affect your rise in popularity. You are his mistress if my sources are correct, so who will you boink now?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Gross. Definitely not someone with a pubic beehive growing from their scalp." My eyes flickered to the large, uneven, afro growing from his head.

I spun on my heels, grabbed Brittany's wrist, and pulled her with me.

"Bye." I heard her say over her shoulder and with the corner of my eye saw her use her free hand to wave.

"So annoying." I spoke to myself, but loud enough for Brittany to hear.

"I kind of like being on camera." Brittany said as we pushed through the front doors that lead to the parking lot.

"I'd rather you not be on Jew-Fro's camera. I can only imagine what he does with the footage." I cringed at the thought and decided to focus on pulling my keys out of my _Cheerios _duffle bag. "I'm going to grab something from my car real quick."

Brittany nodded and pointed toward Mercedes and a small group of _Cheerios, _signaling that's where she'll be. I smiled as we went our separate ways.

Each step I made towards my car seemed to get more difficult. In my unaccompanied silence, I was able to return back to my panic. _Sure Puckerman was going to have an effect on my reputation, but how was I going to satisfy by urges at the same time I ignored him? _I needed a way, a guy, to balance the _scales_.

I pressed a key on my keypad, unlocked the door, pulled the handle, and flung the door open. My body dropped into the driver seat and I let out a heavy sigh. I needed a place to sit, think, and plan. In this situation, I would usually discuss my thoughts with Brittany, but how could I go about doing that without sounding crazy. _Hey Britt, so now that Puckerman has destroyed his reputation how am I going to find a worthy guy to screw that'll keep me from breaking down emotionally from confusion, and/or pouncing on you like a cat in heat? _Not really sure how that conversation will turn out, but I'm not willing to find out.

"Hey." A voice, followed by a knock on my open door, startled me.

I jumped and turned to see Matt leaning on the truck parked next to me.

"Shit." I caught my breath. "You can't just sneak up on people like that."

"Actually I've been standing here for a couple of minutes. I was hoping you'd sort of just see me." He smiled and I decided to forgive him. His smile was cute. Plus, he was in Glee Club, and I didn't want to deal with any more pointless drama in the one club I found joy in. There was no need for me to bitch him out.

"I was thinking." I admitted, but kept it vague.

"I noticed."

My eyes naturally pulled away from him and searched for Brittany. It was like clockwork for me. Instinct. She had been gone for long enough and we were in the same area, so I had to check on her. And it didn't take long for me to find her. Just like she had said, she was with Mercedes. They were laughing and dancing and I could faintly hear Mercedes singing.

I wanted to be over there. Laughing with them. Having fun. And instead I had forced myself to solitude. _Why did I think sitting alone in my car would be helpful? _I guess it wasn't all bad. Watching Brittany was never bad. It was hot.

"Earth to Santana." Marks hand waved in front of my windshield. "If I didn't know any better, I'd guess you want me to leave." He joked, but I had no problem finding the seriousness in his tone.

"Oh." I pulled my eyes away from Brittany, before he found out she was the one I was gawking at. "No no. I mean, yes." I paused to find an answer that would uphold my bitchyness and not completely piss off Matt.

He spoke before I could find one. "I'll leave."

_Wait. _He's perfect. He's on the basketball and football team, he's hot. I just need to walk around with him between classes and people will quickly conclude that Puckerman isn't my one and only suitor.

I grabbed a chapstick from my cup holder, just in case Brittany asked why I went to my car, and quickly climbed out of the driver's seat. In my frantic bustle the chapstick flung from my fingers and rolled underneath the _Toyota_ that Matt was leaning against.

"Fuck." I hushed and slammed my door shut.

"No worries, I'll grab it." He dropped to his knees and easily grabbed the rolling blue tube. "Here." He stood back up and dropped it in my open palm.

"Thanks." I slid it in my _Cheerios _jacket pocket. "I'm not really having a good start to my day." The admission was true, but was intended to start a conversation focused on_ me. _If I was going to talk to him, it at least should be about something important.

"I noticed that too." He picked up the duffle bag I had dropped next to my car. "I'll carry this to first period if you want."

"Sure." I shrugged and tried to appear indifferent.

"So you have Nationals for _Cheerios _coming up soon." Matt stated.

"Yup." I nodded.

"Cool, cool."

"Yup." I echoed…This conversation wasn't exactly a prize-winner. "Did," I tried to think of something to say, "you..finish your homework?"

He laughed. I'm not sure if it was at the way I asked the question or the question in general. "Definitely."

Halfway through the parking lot I spotted Brittany again. If I left Matt now, he might not pursue me again. He might take it as a hint that I wasn't interested, seeing as how our conversation was going so well. I _wasn't _interested in him per say, but I was interested in covering up the severed-link between me and Puckerman.

Brittany looked up and saw me. She saw me walking unusually close to Matt, saw him holding my bag, and saw me walking away from her. Her eyes caught mine, looked to Matt, and looked back to me. When I predicted a look of hurt to consume her face, a small smile came from her lips. But the smile was disconcerted. Where her teeth should have been showing, her lips had tensed into a thin line. The corners of her mouth had to force the smile upwards. And her eyes were empty. Completely void of that usually bubbly glow that radiated from them when she smiled.

XXXXxxxxXXX

After school I didn't go to Brittany's. I went straight home. As if to antagonize me even further, Puckerman made a play for Mercedes. Like I needed more stress. Not only did I have to deal with finding a replacement for Puckerman, but I had to find a way to make it clear that he still belonged to me. No way in hell was I going to let Mercedes walk on my turf. As vague as the directions to uphold my reputation may be, I still needed to find a way to juggle all of its aspects.

I probably should have gone to Brittany's. That would have stopped this, my overreaction, from happening. _Why couldn't I have sucked up my confusion and just gone? _She could have helped calm me down and I could have vented to her. Instead I took all of my pent up frustration out on Mercedes, one of the few girls in Glee club that respected me.

Now I was storming out of the choir room. If Mr. Shue hadn't jumped in between me and Mercedes, I might have gone completely insane on her. When I shoved her I wasn't thinking about the time she and Tina helped me after the pool party, I wasn't thinking about our recent bonding at Rinky Dinks, I was thinking about myself.

I couldn't figure out why I was so mad. I'd never been this mad before. My blood was boiling, my teeth were tightly clenched, and I was stomping down the hallway. I was even too mad to cry. Usually when I got pissed off or experienced any emotion I would cry, but I couldn't. I was like a programmed robot set on self-destruction.

On auto-pilot, I made it to my car, slammed the keys into the ignition, and knocked the car into gear. Just as I was about to peel away from the parking lot I looked up to see a red flicker sprint out the front door. It hopped a short flight of steps and slowed to a jog in the parking lot.

It was Brittany.

I left.

XXXxxxxxXXXXX

That night I didn't sleep at all. Every five minutes I would sit up from my bed, reach for my phone, and then have to force myself to keep from calling her. Before I called her, I needed to think of something to say. Something that would apologize, without actually apologizing and forcing to admit why I was apologizing.

But I never found the courage, or right words, to call her. And with my lack of sleep, I found myself gaping into my open locker, trying to remember which book I needed to take home for homework.

My mind was too tired, and too focused on Brittany to function properly. During _Cheerios _practice I made it a point to run laps the entire time, and during the classes we had together I was thankful for the pop quiz and group projects that kept us separate. And right now I was caught up in _what if _scenarios. My current scenario-_What if _I just found her, linked pinkies with her, and pretended like I wasn't a selfish-bitch. Plan settled. I'll do that.

I slammed my locker shut and spun around. I had about five minutes before she walked to class and it would be too late for me to reconcile. I'm not sure if I could handle another whole period knowing that we weren't _okay. _

What caught my attention almost spun my head clear off my shoulders. Brittany was walking down the hallway, hand-in-hand, with Kurt Hummel. I know Kurt was been going through an awkward identity crisis, but I didn't think he was to the point of openly flirting with a girl. Of course, I highly doubted their flirting was taken further than hand-holding, but that wasn't the point. It was obvious that he was using Brittany.

Brittany was walking with the only guy in this school who could offer an honest-friendship to her in lieu of sexual activities. I should be the only one offering her friendship. I'm her best friend, the friend that holds her hand in the hallways. I had gotten over the whole Brittany-fools-around-with-guys-thing a long time ago, but she picked the _one _guy in this school that could actually make me envious. Any other time she held a guys hand, it was to persuade them or show off her conquest. Kurt couldn't and would never be a conquest for her, whether she knew that or not.

Was this jealousy from her, concealed payback? It was like she knew exactly how to push my buttons. Of course, I couldn't blame her. I deserved it. I more than deserved it. _How could I expect her to let me walk all over her?_

The two stopped when someone stepped in front of them. I'd seen the man before and quickly recognized him to be Kurt's father.

I watched almost in awe as the scene panned out before me. I couldn't hear them, but I could only imagine the awkward conversation that was ensuing.

Kurt's hand rose into the air and flickered at Brittany. He gestured for her to leave. And she did. The gesture wasn't courteous or thoughtful. It was selfish. I didn't need to know the whole story, to know what was going on. Kurt _was_ using her. He was carting her around at his convenience and tossing her to the side when she wasn't needed.

Just like me…

Brittany started heading in my direction, but she didn't notice me. Her eyes were glued to the floor, her shoulders were sagging, and her hands swung awkwardly at her side.

I darted from my shadows, suddenly wide awake, and locked stride with her. My arm slithered around hers.

"Hey Santana." She said my name like she would have said it any other time. I knew she wasn't angry with me, just upset.

"You okay?" I asked. I still didn't entirely understand what I had just witnessed, or why I had witnessed it, but that wasn't important right now.

"Sure." She just shrugged.

I smiled and playfully bumped her. "Don't tell me that you kissed him."

She smiled in response.

"Brittany." I jokingly gasped. "You know that's like kissing a girl."

"Sort of." She started to lighten up. "Not totally the same." She returned the teasing-gesture and bumped my hip. "He had like a script written for me and we couldn't start kissing until his dad's car pulled up."

"That's weird." I furrowed both eyebrows.

"Yeah, his dad came downstairs and found us making out. Then afterward Kurt brought me home. And today he told me that I could only hold his hand in the hallway."

"Oh really?" I stopped us in the middle of a stream of students. The students behind us managed to safely make it around without colliding. "Sounds like I needs to kick some more ass."

"No San. I think everyone's still scared after your fight with Mercedes. And I think it breaks some moral code when you beat up a gay guy." She shrugged.

"I guess it would be frowned upon if someone beat up those guys from Jersey Shore." I calmed down.

"Word."

"Ah Santana." A female voice cut into the middle of our conversation. "Glad to see you're feeling better after yesterday's episode of Jerry Springer. You looked like a crazed mama grizzly bear that was having a profound and over dramatic reaction to losing its hibernation hole. Actually, you sort of looked like King Kong beating your chest on top of a building." Rachel stopped in front of us. "I'm also relieved that I haven't seen you in the bathroom during second period recently. While you may have just found another place to annihilate your body, in my heart of hearts think I may have gotten through to you."

"We were just talking about you." Brittany said. She swiped her hand inches above the top of Rachel's head. "Sometimes I imagine if you had a poof in your hair, you'd look just like Snooki. Or The Situation."

"Just because we helped you with your pathetically awful music video, doesn't mean you can talk to us." I ignored Rachel's comment. I still wasn't sure how I felt about my past decision to _puke _away calories. When I thought about it, I just pretended the only thing I remembered was that night in the back of my car. "Go make out with Jew Fro, I heard he was look for a plant to hump."

Completely disgusted by my suggestion, Rachel stormed away.

"That was satisfying." I nodded to myself and started down the hallway. I noticed Brittany had unlatched from my arm during our Berry encounter, so I decided to linke pinkies with her.

"Unlike Kurt." She returned to the conversation that we had started with. "What's the equivalent to a girl blue balls?"

"Every sexual experience with a man." The words spilled out before I could stop them. While they were meant to be a joke, more honesty than intended was admitted. That thought had never crossed my mind, because those words were subconscious thoughts.

Brittany's step faltered for a second, but she continued pace with me. I knew she was thinking of something to say in response that would fit into the conversation. She had undoubtedly caught onto my honesty and tossed away the joke. And she was the _only _one who could have caught it, because she's the only one who I've been with that isn't a guy. She also knows me better than I probably know myself. She knows the instant our conversations take on a different tone, she knows when I'm upset, when I need my space, and when I need help.

"That was a joke." I laughed after a few more seconds of silence.

She went along with the _joke. _"I'm so sure. Maybe if you picked better guys." Her pinkie unwound from around my own and she playfully slapped my elbow.

A humor-filled gasp left my mouth. "You have no room to talk. Explain Kurt?"

"I-"

"Ladies." We were interrupted by the Principal. He stepped out of a room and clasped his hands in front of him. "Would you please recycle those copies in there?" He used his thumb to point at the door he just stepped out of. "And then tell Miss Sylvester that it is not appropriate to make hundreds of wanted posters of your Glee director insisting that he is _Jason after he removed his mask to reveal a full head of lusciously awful hair_."

We both nodded in unison.

"Wonderful." Principal Figgins left us.

"Be my guest." I smiled and waved my hand for Brittany to enter the _Cheerios _photocopy room first. The entire time Principal Figgins had ranted about Mr. Shuester and our cheer coach, I had been more focused on honing down the surge of feelings that lit up my body. He wanted us to go into the photocopy room. Britt and I hadn't been in it since our first kiss.

She winked and stepped through the door. I followed and closed it behind us.

"Holy sweet trees. Look at how many papers there are." I was distracted by the heaping pile of photocopies that were stacked next to the photocopier.

"This picture makes Mr. Shue look like a missing little girl." Brittany picked up a paper and examined it.

"How does she find the time to do this stuff." I leaned into Brittany and looked at the picture with her. "And how did she even get this picture?"

The two of us silently absorbed the strange occurrence, both trying to decide how Sue came up with the idea. I couldn't decide if it was creepy, or brilliant. Probably a little of both.

Her fingers unclenched the paper and let it swoop down the ground, just like a leaf would drop from a tree. She let her duffle bag slip of her shoulder and followed by pulling mine off. This was it. She was going for it.

"Santana?" Her voice was husky and hushed.

"Yeah?" I stepped closer to her and began running my fingers against the slits in her skirt.

"What's wrong?"

The question threw me. It completely ruined her seduction and caused me to step back. "What do you mean?"

She noticed the distance I created between us, and began looking for a place to sit. Finally she settled on perching herself on top of the photocopier. Her palms pressed against the edge of the machine, and she easily lifted herself to sit on it. "You've been acting different. Is it, because of Puckerman? Or did I do something?"

"No." I shook my head and quickly assured her that it was nothing she did. The last thing I wanted was for her to feel guilty. I leaned forward and rested my abdomen against her knees. My hands folded themselves across her lap. "I was freaking out because of Puckerman." I shrugged and tried to downplay the situation. "I mean. I'm not with him, but that doesn't mean I want someone else to be."

Her head was still sunken and focused on my hands. I decided to use those hands to comfort her and began rubbing them up and down her thighs. "I promise I'll never do that again Britt." The promise wasn't specific by definition, but it was precise in meaning. If I knew what I meant by it, then Brittany should have no problem finding its hidden meaning. "I should have come to you."

"Kurt said my lips taste like root beer." Brittany sidetracked the conversation into something that wasn't far from either of our minds.

"True story." I agreed with Kurt and instantly altered my comforting rub into a tempting stroke up her thighs. "Sometimes they do."

"Well sometimes you taste like jolly ranchers." Her eyes flitted to my lips, but then returned to my hands that were gradually easing up her legs.

Her actions and words made me giddy. I hadn't felt this way in awhile. I missed our little flirtatious antics. I'll have to remember that next time I want to turn into a moping, confused, miserable pile of crap that I'll be missing out on _this. _

My attention returned to what my hands were touching. Her legs. They were long and fit. Strong. _How did I get so lucky to be touching THE hottest girl in the school? _This girl was practically all legs. If it were up to me, and socially acceptable, I'd never remove my hands from her legs.

I squeezed the muscle in her thighs, and leaned into the motion. My stomach pressed further into her knees and I let out a small huff of air at the effort. "You're legs are stiff." I could now feel the knots roll in between my fingers.

She didn't respond by word, but leaned back on the palm of her hands and gave me free range of her body. And I didn't hesitate to explore.

"Santana. Someone might walk in." She reeled me back to reality.

In a daze I turned and looked at the closed door. It took me a moment to process everything and return to a somewhat coherent state of mind. "Nobody will. The last time Sue caught someone in here that wasn't supposed to be she super glued them to the floor and said _if they wanted to be in here so badly, then they'll have to stay forever. _Nobody would be brave enough to come in after that_.__" _

I shrugged off the thought of someone walking in, knowing it was a possibility, and returned my full attention to her beckoning legs. They were warm now. Hot under my touch as my hands glided up her skin and pulled back down to her knees. Her breathing was even in sync with my motions.

I'm not sure if it was from habit, if it was just the opportunity, or it was because I couldn't pass up the chance to make her laugh, but my hand moved inbetween her thighs and softly pinched a small piece of her skin.

"Hey!" She squealed from the tickling and slapped at my hands.

I stopped and started to panic. That was a bad idea. Too loud. "Britt shhh." I would have brought my finger to my lips to emphasize the _shush, _but her hands were cuffed around my wrists.

"Sorry." She apologized and tucked her lips into her mouth.

We waited in silence to see if anybody was going to come in, or peek inside. But nobody did. We were alone.

When I turned my head back from the door and towards her she swooped down and pushed her lips into mine. The kiss pulled me up and on my tip-toes. It was placid but short. She had lured me into her, pulled away, and now I was forced to pursue her.

I used her thighs as leverage and pushed into her. We started out controlled. Breathing heavy. My lips moved with hers, found a spot I liked, and then her mouth would move around my lips. Each time we separated to take a breath the returning kiss would be more demanding. Instead of the heavy breaths we had started with we now sufficed with shallow-gasps.

The angle we were kissing at wasn't exactly easy, but I was too afraid of pulling away. If I did, the reality of someone walking in might fully set in, and I would be too scared to start touching her again. But I couldn't stand like this anymore. My legs were shaking from holding myself up this high and charlie-horses were creeping up my calves.

I dropped down and abruptly pulled away from her lips. And before my lust was replaced with reason, my mouth dropped down and started kissing the inside of her knee. She scooted forward on the copy machine and spread her legs, practically begging me to go for it.

I ran the flat of my tongue from the inside of her knee all the way up to her panty-line. As I brushed my tongue up her scorching thigh I felt her body quiver and felt the muscles in her legs twitch. I stopped at the fabric of her _spankies _and lifted my head back.

I peeked up to see her mouth was open, midway through a groan. I beamed at my ability to so easily turn her on.

For the last time, I peeked over my shoulder to check the door. Nobody.

Okay, I can do this. Make it quick though. After what she went through with Kurt, I can't deny her. I knew comparing my sexual entireness with Kurt's was like comparing a shot of water with a shot of vodka, but I still couldn't tease Brittany like this. I needed to finish what I started.

No. I can't pull her _spankies _off and still be okay with this. If someone walked in there's no way we could cover up our actions. If someone saw my tongue in between Brittany's legs so clearly searching for her pleasure, I might just faint from pure humiliation.

I settled on middle ground. My hand found the spot that my lips had just left and my fingers began to trace against the outside of her _spankies. _

Her face was aching for my tongue to touch her and I could see the disappointment. She wanted my mouth, lips, and tongue against her just as much as I did. So I pushed my finger tips into her center. The _spankies _sunk into her with the pressure and that look of disappointment that momentarily hazed over her was replaced with a restrained moan.

I pushed my finger tips against her core again and felt them slip with the fabric that covered her. She was already wet.

My hand slipped inside the fabric and pulled it to one side to reveal her folds. I blew a soft stream of air into her saturated center.

The unexpected move on my part caused her to tremble from pleasure. "Hrr." The word never fully escaped her mouth as she tried to hone back a moan.

_Stop it Santana. _Don't tease her. Maybe if I just move my mouth in quick. I could still pull away and her _spankies _would snap back to their usual position if someone came in. But I knew that once I started, I would be too engulfed to listen for approaching footsteps.

Instead I leaned back and put my hand to her. My two middle fingers started to lightly graze her folds. I looked at her to see her head was titled back and she was once again using her palms to support her weight. Her eyes were closed and her teeth had a firm bite on the bottom of her lip.

A shiver traced through my body and sent a tremble down my spine at the sight of her. Seeing her so clearly turned on was more of a turn on than I expected.

The hand I had grasping her _spankies _pulled the fabric further away and the two fingers that I had been rubbing with pushed inside.

She constricted and tightened around my fingers and I stopped in case it was too much at once. But the noise that came from her told me otherwise. So I continued to push inside her. My fingers slid easily against her slippery heat.

It felt nothing like I expected. It was warm. Soft.

Like she had done to me, I curled my middle finger and rubbed against a soft spot I had found. Again she tightened around my fingers and another small noise escaped her lips. "Fuuh." It was the only distinct noise I could make out.

For the first time I noticed her hand was tightly grasping around my wrist. It was the same wrist that belonged to the hand that was pulling back her _spankies _and exposing her center.

A shrill whistle squeezed past the door behind me.

Everything moved too fast for me to comprehend. My fingers pulled out from Brittany, I let her _spankies _slap into place, I darted away from her faster than I ever could have imagined, she pinched her knees shut, and the door opened.

"What in the world do you think you're doing?" Mr. Figgins stood in awe at us.

I was standing with my back pressed flat against a wall, and Brittany was still perched on the copy machine. She was doe-eyed and flustered. I noticed a shiny sweat covering her face.

My heart was rampaging. Of all the people to catch us, it had to be the principal. I guess it does have it's upsides though. He probably wouldn't tell the student body, but he would tell our parents…

That thought sent me in a downward spiral. My throat stopped working, I couldn't remember how to breathe, and I felt like crumpling to the floor in a hysterical sobbing mess.

"Do you know what Sue would do if she caught you making photocopies of your buttocks?" He pointed at Brittany. "Stop this tomfoolery before she comes in here and finds you. I don't want to deal with the consequences of your actions." He turned and slammed the door shut.

I was still stuck in horror. My back slid down the wall as my legs weren't able to support me any longer. _How could I have been so stupid? _I didn't even take the time to lock the door. _Did I want to get caught? _Hell no.

"Santana?" Brittany was crouching in front of me. I didn't even notice her get off the photocopier. She ran her hand up and down my arm. "He didn't see anything. We're fine."

I nodded. Not really sure if I believed it.

"Come on Santana. He thought we were copying pictures of my butt." She tried to force a laugh out of me and herself.

I didn't budge.

She eased down from her crouch and sat in front of me. Her arms hugged around my legs that I had tucked into myself and her chin rested on my knees.

Again I noticed the sweat that was sticking to her face. "Are you okay?" I asked. I couldn't figure out why it was there. The answer would have been obvious minutes earlier, but for some reason I my brain was burnt out.

"I'm fine." She laughed at the odd question.

My fists curled and I felt her wetness on my hands. I'd almost forgotten that was there. _What if Mr. Figgins had seen it? _He had to. I wiped the evidence off on my skirt.

We sat like this for awhile. And I knew that if someone walked in on us, this position would be just as difficult to explain, if not harder. But I needed her this close in order to calm down and reboot.

Eventually my mind started to function properly. I remembered what we were doing, came to the realization that there's no way Principal Figgins saw what we were doing, and that I was once again overreacting. If I keep doing this Brittany is never going to do anything with me again.

"Can you imagine if the photocopier was on while we were doing that?" My question stung the empty silence.

A smile enveloped her face. It was genuine. Adorable and needed.

**XXXXxXXXXXX**

**A/N: Sorry for tacking on this author note. But I wanted to say, before someone comm****ented on it, that I think Brittany does indeed know what contraception is...otherwise she would be pregnant. In my opinion, she just thinks that storks signal a pregnancy.**


	15. Understanding What's Not Said

**A/N: SORRY for updating so late! I usually try to update twice a week, but I've been busy helping for a friends wedding and studying for finals! Thank you again for the reviews, and this chapter took me awhile to write. Just so everyone's caught up, we're on the episode "Theatricality" (the Gaga episode). I skipped Dream On, because I didn't really have much I wanted to add from it. And I know the next two episodes may take up to 4 chapters. Initially, I almost posted this chapter without the last 1,000 words, but as I was editing I just started to write more. I hope it fits and works well! Please let me know what you think. This chapter has a different tone and agenda than the previous chapters, so I want to know how that came across. Enjoy :)**

**P.S. : Read my new story "Stranded with Dinosaurs"...**

**Chapter 15 - Understanding What's Not Said**

"This is amazing!" I swung Brittany's arm with her pinkie locked in mine. We were walking out of the choir room. "Glee Club just keeps getting better and better. Whenever Mr. Shuester starts acting creepy he does a complete one-eighty and lets us do something exciting."

"We're going to look hot." Brittany agreed with me.

"Oh definitely." I smiled at the thought of what we would look like. More specifically, what she would look like. My smile broadened at the thought of helping her into and out of whatever Lady Gaga-inspired crazy outfit she wore.

"But the guys might look like Richard Simmons." She stated as we stopped at our lockers and unlatched pinkies.

"Eh. Good point." I began to fiddle with the lock combination. "Mike Chang wearing spandex would only strengthen my theory that Asians like chopsticks so much, because they use them as their legs."

The lock clicked in my fingers and signaled that it would open.

"We should work on our outfits tonight. You can come over. It'll be fun." Brittany looked away from her open locker and gave me one of her straight-lipped smiles. It was that tell-tale smile that she used when she was trying to imply _something_ without actually saying it. She pulled her eyes away from mine and buried them in her clutter filled locker.

A small magnetic framed picture of me and her during a _Cheerios _routine caught my attention. It was stuck next to a small mirror on the door of her locker. "It'll be...fun?" I questioned and teased.

Lately it's become a game for us. _How much can we say and imply, without actually saying it._ Her little smile after saying _You can come over. It'll be fun, _was just another slight quirk in our game. It was her way of jump-starting the vague conversation that would ensue and develop into flirtatious and ambiguous dialogue.

"Maybe not as fun as the back seat of your car." Brittany kept her face hidden in her locker but I could see the corner of her lips tilt into a devilish smile.

Me on the other hand, I let out a chocked gasp. She completely paraded through and ignored the pitter-patter of our usual evocative chit-chat and blurted out something that caused my stomach to drop and my heart to flip. We've never talked about something we've _done. _We always kept it behind us, and used it as a reference whenever we did anything else. I thought Brittany was on the same page as me. Don't ask, don't tell.

My jaw closed the second she turned to me and still had that devilish grin plastered across her face. And instead of saying something, she just gave me a sheepish shrug.

I narrowed my eyes at her, studying her, trying to decide why she had said it so blatantly. But instead I couldn't help but think about what had happened that night in the back of my car. My muscles clenched at the thought of her tongue pushing inside me and it took all my strength not to let out a small sigh. But I couldn't hold back the memory of how I had reacted afterward. I'd coiled up like a little baby, and she had to help me get dressed. I'm Santana Lopez, queen of sex. I shouldn't be curling up into the fetal position after having the best orgasm in my life.

"But it'll probably be as fun as photocopier sex." Brittany winked.

And my eyes popped. Again my jaw dropped. From anyone watching us they probably would have thought I was trying to imitate a cow eating hay. Quickly I closed my mouth again.

Like the backseat memory, the photocopier memory only lasted on the good stuff for a moment. The feeling I had gotten after Mr. Figgins walked in on us crawled back up and stuck to the pit of my stomach. A feeling that had constantly been gnawing away at my organs since we had almost been caught.

It was that feeling that had kept Britt and I in a flirtatious (lingering touches) phase these past few days and kept our lips away from each other. I was too afraid to touch her and too afraid to have another freak-out, even if I was longing for more than flirtatious banter. And clearly Brittany wanted more. This was her way of testing the waters. She knew I would shut down the instant she directly asked about my post-sex panic attacks, but this was her way around it. She was not only seeing how I would react to the memory, but she was letting me know that she was okay with it.

Brittany is just too damn smart for her own good. I thought I had her subtle smile and hidden agendas mastered, but obviously I don't.

"Maybe." My response was clear, but a little hesitant.

She caught onto it. "We don't have to." The words were quick from her.

I paused. Shut my locker and turned to her. Before I said anything, I glanced around to make sure the passing students weren't listening into our conversation. "It's okay. I want to." I lowered my voice. "We can. I just-."

"Hello there." Someone interrupted my sentence and sent me into a fearful jump. "Oh sorry Santana, I didn't mean to interrupt your gossiping, but a few of us girls are driving down to spy on Vocal Adrenaline. Normally I wouldn't be asking you girls for favors, but the more eyes we have the better." It was Rachel.

I was too startled to respond.

"Sounds fun." Brittany answered for me.

"This isn't fun. This is serious business. If you girls are going to be goofing off the entire time, it'd be better if you didn't come." She huffed and pushed her hands on her hips. "Oh, and us girls…and Kurt…are going to Mercedes' afterward to work on our Gaga costumes. She told me to invite you."

I exchanged a look with Brittany. I knew that going to Mercedes' house would put a damper on our _plans. _But what was I supposed to say. _Sorry, no. Me and Britt plan to do our costumes alone so if we get a little frisky we won't have to worry about somebody seeing us. _

When Brittany nodded her head as if to say okay, I turned to Rachel. "Sure." I said it in between gulps. "We can go." Brittany clapped her hands in excitement.

"Excellent. Kurt's driving so meet us in the parking lot." She turned on her heels and headed down the hall.

"Sorry Britt." I apologized.

But it was obvious she wasn't disappointed. "This will be so much fun. And Mercedes has way more stuff for costumes."

She was right. "Mercedes and Rachel do have an ungodly amount of costume crap."

Brittany seemed to have interpreted my response for the better. And the excitement she was now showing wasn't just because I agreed to Rachel's invitation, but it was also because I said _I was okay_.

I continued. "Come on Britt. Let's get our spy on." I grabbed her pinkie and began leading her out of the school.

We hurried through the halls and stopped in the parking lot. Mercedes called our names and waved for us to join the _group _at Kurt's car. With that signal, Brittany and I skipped through the parking lot and stopped near the back of the car.

"Where's Tina?" I noticed her absence.

"She's with Artie." Kurt responded as he stepped out from the driver's seat. "It's just us six." He gestured toward Rachel and Mercedes crammed in the front seat and Quinn in the back. "It'll be a snug fit, but the drive isn't too long."

I made it a point to shrug of Kurt's comment and roll my eyes. Ever since he _used _Brittany to prove some stupid point to his father I'd lost quite a bit of respect for him. Instead of responding with some catty retort I climbed into the back seat. Brittany followed, and as soon as Kurt was ready we pulled out of the McKinley High parking lot.

Kurt calling this a snug fit was an understatement. I was just glad that I was squished in between Quinn and Brittany instead of having to sit shoulder to shoulder with Rachel. If I was that close to her, I'm pretty sure I would go insane.

"We'll have to be quick." Rachel turned around quickly from the front middle seat and spoke more so to me, then the other girls. We all jumped at her abrupt turn. "Being behind enemy lines is dangerous."

"I eat danger for breakfast." Brittany deadpanned.

I kept my head facing forward but turned my eyes to examine Brittany. She looked completely serious.

When Rachel narrowed her eyes and was about to respond to Brittany I cut in. "Turn around I can smell your breath. And it smells like oysters."

"It does not!" She gasped. "I don't eat animals."

"Then I don't want to know why such a stench is coming from you." I held up my hand and scrunched my nose in disgust.

"Rachel please turn around." Kurt demanded. "You keep bumping me."

I smirked and twirled my finger, gesturing for her to turn. She scowled and spun so she was facing forward.

Quinn spoke up. "So who's spying on their performance and who's looting through Shelby Corcoran's office?"

"I want to loot." Brittany chimed in.

"It's obvious that I should be assessing the competition, seeing as how I have the greatest music ability. All you are tone deaf." Rachel said from the front seat and I had to fight the urge to punch the back of her head.

"Fine." Kurt sighed. "I'll go wherever Rachel isn't. Britt and I will loot."

"And Santana." Brittany bumped me and suddenly I was able to control my pending outburst about Kurt _deciding_ he was doing what Brittany was.

"Sweet." Mercedes spoke. "Quinn and I will spy with Rachel."

"Will we need flashlights?" Brittany posed the question after a moment of silence.

"I didn't bring any…" Rachel answered the question a little hesitantly.

"Did you bring your menorah?" Brittany questioned again.

A healthy laugh escaped my lips at the thought of us spying with a menorah. I'm not really sure how sneaky we could be with a huge candle stick.

"I'm not even answering that." Rachel scoffed.

"We won't need flashlights." Kurt stopped the insult-a-thon.

The rest of the ride was filled with conversation about Vocal Adrenaline, and Britt and I ignoring that conversation in favor of elbowing each other and putting things we found on the floor in Rachel's hair. We had a pretty decent pile going, until a stray fuzz fell off her head and let her in on our shenanigans.

xxxXXXXXXXXXxxxx

"I can't believe she was Rachel's mom." Kurt said.

After we had split up and spied in our respective areas, Mercedes and Quinn arrived at the car without Rachel. Apparently Shelby Corcoran was Rachel's mom and they were bonding or some crap like that.

The five of us, minus Rachel, returned to Mercedes' house and were well into making our costumes. Tina showed up after a little, and her and Mercedes were in the bathroom attaching plastic bubbles to Tina's dress. It was just Kurt, Quinn, Britt and I in the living room.

Brittany was helping me with mine. A skin tight, black laced, full body suit. She was sitting on the arm rest of Mercedes' couch and I was sitting on her lap.

It was okay to sit on her lap around these guys. We always did stuff like that during Glee rehearsal. Someone might even think we were fighting if I didn't drape my legs across her lap, hold her pinkie, or play with her hair.

And if someone questioned us now, I could easily argue that she was fixing my outfit.

"Who cares?" I was beginning to get a little annoyed with the conversation. "I'm just glad Rachel isn't here and annoying us." I fidgeted in Brittany's lap as she pulled and adjusted the lace in the middle of my back. Her fingers would pluck a small bit of the fabric and inch it across my skin.

"Agreed." Quinn said. She was wearing a soft pink spiraled dress. "Did you say you had pink eyelashes?" She turned to Kurt who was leaning into a mirror.

Brittany's had went from straightening the lace in the middle of my back to rubbing my lower back. The lacy outfit I was wearing wasn't keeping me very warm, and her hand had sent an urgent heat down my spine. It caused me to scoot further back towards her.

Kurt leaned back from the mirror and stopped primping his wig. "Yes. They're in my bag." We walked down the hall with Quinn and left Britt and I alone.

"I'm ready to go whenever you are." I said as she brought her other hand up to my back and continued to knead at my skin. Her touches were quickly turning erotic and I was regretting the decision to do our costumes in front of everyone.

"Okay." She said it, but made no effort to stop her hands. "This outfit is super tight." Her words whispered into my back.

I couldn't take it anymore. I jumped up from her lap and spun to face her. My hand caught hers and I pulled her up with me. "We can finish tomorrow morning. Let's ditch."

She nodded and we silently (silently aside from our giggling) tried to pack up our things. We were racing to leave before someone returned. Brittany had already taken her Gaga-outfit off and changed back into her sweats, but I was forced to keep my lace cat suit on as we ran out the front door.

The two of us stumbled across the front yard and erupted in a fit of laughter. The huge Gaga-inspired bow-hat I made fell from my hands as I tried to control my silent laugh. Brittany was doubled over, her stuff lying in the grass too, as she hugged her stomach.

Small mouse-like squeaks would occasionally escape her pinched lips and cause me to laugh even harder. Something about me wearing a scandalous lacy outfit, and Brittany carrying the huge lobster mask for her costume was hilarious, especially as we were trying to sneak away.

"Where'd they go?" I heard Kurt's voice from the inside of the house.

I grabbed Brittany's wrist and dragged her around the house so we couldn't be seen from the window. Again, we continued to hide our snickers. I let out an uncontrollable giggle when I noticed Brittany's silver lobster was sitting in plain sight if they were to look out the window.

The two of us flattened our backs against the house and listened.

"Probably left. Britt only lives a block away." Mercedes answered.

Their conversation quickly became unimportant once I realized I was finally alone, in the dark, and with Brittany. I kept my back flat against the house but moved my hand to grab Brittany's. It was warm and smooth. I wanted to use my other hand and pull her sweats down, but I couldn't seem to move.

I was stuck, terrified of initiating this (just like almost every other time we did something), and was waiting for her to touch me first. When she touched me it scared away all the nerves.

But she didn't. She kept her hand tightly clasped around mine. We had stopped laughing, stopped giggling, and now stood in silence waiting for the other to make the first move.

This was the first time I could remember her waiting for me. Usually she'll take me by surprise or use her hands to roam across my skin until she found that spot in between my thighs. Or she'll catch my lips with hers, before either of us has time to think about what we're doing.

She was waiting…and I couldn't blame her. She wasn't about to stick her tongue down my throat, unless she was sure I wouldn't freak out again. It brought me back to our conversation earlier today when she asked if I was okay. I'd given her somewhat of an answer, but that answer wasn't strong enough for her to be the initiator.

I rested my head on her shoulders and closed my eyes. Her hand tightened around mine and I felt her other hand start to tickle across my wrist.

This was okay. I can be this close and be okay. I just need to take things slow no matter how badly I want her right now. I can't afford to lose her because I can't keep my libido in check. If I jump her right now and end up crying afterward, there's no way she'll ever touch me again.

When the voices inside settled down we snuck back out to the middle of the front yard and picked up everything we had dropped. The walk to my house was quiet and begging for understanding. I wanted to say something, to apologize, but I couldn't find the right words. And I know she wanted to say something. Hell, we had just walked away from the perfect opportunity to answer all our teasing touches. Plus, doing it outside of Mercedes' house would have even been a huge turn on.

But no. We were both too hesitant.

We set our stuff on the couch once we got to her house and I changed in the downstairs bathroom. I saw the confusion cross her face when I said that I'll just get ready for bed in here instead of her room. Usually I'd change with her, but I needed a little space to relax.

The walk to her house may have been quiet and comforting, but it wasn't relaxing. My heart was still thundering in my chest and my jaw hurt from clenching my teeth shut and keeping any words from escaping (that's if I could have found any).

I leaned over the sink and examined the makeup under my eyes. I'd already changed, brushed my teeth, and just needed to wash my face. While still leaning in, I turned on the faucet and splashed the cold water against my cheeks. Maybe it would shock me out of my panic and keep me from freaking out.

_What if I wasn't strong enough to keep my hands off her tonight? _I'm going to ruin everything. I'll lay down with her, and before I know it my hands will be up her shirt. Then, either my mouth or my hands, will sneak down between her legs.

I splashed another handful of cold water on my face. It wasn't helping. If anything, it was making this worse. I slammed the water off and buried my face in a towel. The rough fabric of the hand towel scratched my skin as I pulled it down and dried off the water.

Again I examined the makeup under my eyes. Now it was running and smudged. I took a corner of the towel and rubbed off the black mascara, thankful that I had noticed it before I saw Brittany and she thought I had been crying.

I placed my palms on the counter and rested my weight against the strength of my arms. I still wasn't calming down. And I knew that the longer I stayed in here, the worse I was going to make it. Maybe that's what was freaking me out. Knowing that when I walked out she would question what took so long.

A soft knock caught the door. I closed my eyes. I knew it was her. She probably had been sitting out there for awhile now.

"Santana, can I come in? It's Brittany." Her voice crept through the crack between the door and the door frame.

I took a breath to steady my voice and answered. "Yeah." It still came out shaky.

She opened the door, stepped in, and closed it behind her. Tucked under her arm was a thin Halloween blanket with tiny Frankensteins, and her fluffy pink pillow.

"What are you doing?" I questioned the blanket and pillow.

She shrugged and walked behind me toward the bath tub. "Remember when we built forts in my bath tub and had sleepovers in here?" She tossed the pillow and blanket into the white porcelain tub.

"Yeah." I said it quietly. It was something we haven't done since we were in sixth grade.

"Well they're fun. And my room is boring." She sat on the edge of the tub.

I turned to face her, but didn't approach yet. She noticed my hesitation and crawled into the tub. It looked silly watching a grown teenager shuffling around in a bathtub with a Halloween blanket and pillow. I wonder if we looked that silly when we were little.

I took a deep breath and walked toward her. She was wearing shorts and I saw chills cover her legs from the cold white porcelain, but she waited for me and kept the blanket folded over her stomach. Her back was pressed against one end of the tub and there really wasn't much room for me. I remember it being much bigger before. I fought off my nerves and stepped in so I was standing above her.

"You can sit." She smiled and looked up at me.

"Where?" I finally laughed.

She scooted so her legs were on one side of the bathtub and I could squeeze in between her and the ledge. So I did. Our hips were pressed together and my chest was pushing against her shoulder as I tried to fit. But it was too tight.

We ended up silently scooting down and lying on our sides. She laid down first, and then I followed. I rested my waist on top of her arm and she wrapped that arm around my back. Her other arm hooked over me and pulled me firmly against her. She was hugging me so tightly my lips were pressed against her collarbone. And even though this situation should have been intimate, it wasn't. It reminded me of when we were little and we'd fall asleep hugging each other.

I pinched my eyes shut and buried myself further into her chest.

"You're breathing really heavy." She whispered into my hair.

Her hand started to rub my back. I held my breath and tried to slow my heart. I could literally feel my nerves shaking me.

Eventually I began to calm down, and I couldn't even remember why I was acting so weird in the first place. I felt so bad for Brittany. She shouldn't have to take care of me. I'm the one that takes care of her.

"It's too bright in here." I decided to say something and let her know I was okay, even though the lights weren't necessarily bothering me. "We forgot to turn off the lights."

"They'll turn off." Brittany responded. "Remember my mom got timed lights cause I kept leaving them all on." I felt her arm lift above us and yank the curtain shut.

I let out a soft chuckle and fully relaxed into her embrace. She noticed and tugged me closer.

I pressed my lips against her collarbone and kissed the warm skin. Just one soft kiss. And our situation still wasn't intimate.

"I love your sweet lady kisses." Brittany spoke into my hair again.

I closed my eyes and feel asleep right away.

XXXxxxXXX

**A/N: Sorry I know there's no sexytime, but I wanted to show that their relationship isn't just sex. :)**


	16. Falling

**A/N: Wouldn't it be cool if I updated literally right away! YESSSS! QUICKEST UPDATE EVER! Please read and review. I only got a couple reviews last chapter (obviously since I updated so quickly), but I would like to still catch up :) **

**Let me know what you think. I did use different POV...you'll have to read to find out who. It starts out from Santana's POV, like always. If I don't specifically say it's someone else...assume SANTANA! **

**Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 16 - Falling**

"This feels kind of awkward." Brittany whispered to me.

We were in the auditorium. I was sitting on a ledge in the front row and Brittany was standing right next to my dangling legs. Puck, Matt, Finn, Mike and Quinn were also lined up against the ledge. Jesse had insisted that we meet for an emergency meeting, but when we walked into the auditorium Vocal Adrenaline was on our stage, refusing to acknowledge us, and talking excitedly.

"Jesse is kind of awkward. Maybe it's like a peace treaty." I tried to find an explanation behind our arch nemesis' show choir rivals standing in our auditorium.

"Where's Rachel?" Brittany questioned me. "Being around Jesse without Rachel here is like watching a man feed milk from its tits to a baby." She shuffled and stepped closer to my legs.

She was right. Jesse was kind of strange. And what made it even stranger was that he would occasionally look our direction without even seeing us. Like he was waiting for the seats behind us to fill up.

Finally Rachel, followed by the rest of the Glee members walked in. "Jesse?" She gave a nervous laugh as she stepped out in front of us. "What are you doing up there with them?"

Jesse had stepped out from his group as well. He stuck his nose high in the air. "I've transferred back to Carmel High, Rachel. I'm sorry that it's come to this, but you guys were awful to me. You never accepted me. You never listened to my clearly superior ideas." As he spoke I folded my arms tightly across my chest and raised an eyebrow. _No shit dumbass._

Finn inched forward. "Why are you here in our auditorium?" He questioned.

Puck took a step forward to stand next to Finn.

"The blogs and chat rooms say that we're finished and that you guys are ripe to topple us. We just wanted to show you a little something we came up with a few days ago to see if you agree with that assessment." Jesse made eye contact with me and mimicked my folded arms.

Music started and they began a choreographed routine. Everything was perfect. There steps were all in line. Flawless. And Jesse sounded amazing as he sang. _Did he say they've only been working on this for a few days? _It would take us years to be half this good.

Rachel had sunk back and was now standing directly in front of me as her _boyfriend _mocked us by singing, _Another One Bites The Dust._

I kept my arms crossed the entire time, but I felt my face go slack. They were going to beat us. We would lose, and Figgins would disband Glee club.

Glee was my favorite part of the day. So maybe I don't _love _everyone in it, but I like being around them. They make me feel comfortable and don't judge. I don't want to return back to being _just _head cheerleader. I want to be here, with Brittany, having fun.

There's no pressure in Glee club. I can say what I want, sing what I want, do what I want. It is the only place I am one-hundred percent comfortable sitting on Brittany's lap. Of course, I occasionally sit on her lap during class, but during rehearsal I know that the Glee clubbers aren't trying to decipher why I'm doing so. To them Britt and I are just…Britt and I. They accept us.

As soon as Vocal Adrenaline finished their song, Rachel stepped forward. I felt bad for her. She had trusted Jesse, stood up for him when I made fun of the size of his head, and now he was throwing that all in her face. Jesse was the last to leave the stage, ignored Rachel, and seemed to do so without any remorse.

Quickly we left the auditorium and headed back to our choir room. At least in there we can confine ourselves and figure out a plan.

As we walked through the halls, I moped behind the group. I didn't even make an attempt to reach for Brittany's pinkie. It seemed helpless. If we weren't going be in Glee club for much longer, I might as well get used to walking without her hand in mine.

"It's a Carmel High tradition-they psych out the competition a few weeks before the big show." Artie spoke from the front of the group as Tina pushed him. "They call it a _funkification _meaning they show us what they've got and we spiral into a deep, black funk."

Finn nodded his head trying to lighten the situation. "Yeah, we used to do the same thing to other football teams. Try to get inside their head, pull little pranks to intimidate them." His words weren't heartfelt.

I looked up and saw Mercedes with her arm wrapped around Rachel as they walked. My eyes pulled away and found Brittany. Her arms were folded across her chest and she looked like she was trying not to cry. I know she was thinking the same thing I was thinking. Without Glee club, things wouldn't be fun and simple.

"Yeah well, the difference was, our football team sucked." Puck answered Finn. "Those guys are golden."

Kurt was the first to round the corner and step into the choir room. "Keep your heads up, guys. It's gonna take more than that to…" he faltered, "get us into a funk."

I was the last to step into the choir room and my jaw dropped at what I saw. Toilet paper was everywhere. I'd never seen so much tissue. It was hanging from the ceiling, draping over our piano, and littering the floor.

Finn was the first to step forward and pick up a piece of toilet paper. "Come on guys. Let's get this cleaned up." He tried to sound confident, but his voice was too soft.

I pushed through everyone and kicked the strewn toilet paper at my feet. I knew that if I was to start helping, and that if I showed I cared, then everyone else would be forced to care.

I refuse to give up that easily. I want a place for Britt and me to feel comfortable that isn't the inside of her bath tub. Don't get me wrong, I'll trade anything to snuggle up to her again in that cold tub, but I want a _public _setting where we can be ourselves. Not only that, but want to be part of a team where Sue isn't forcing me to be the best, putting a ridiculous amount of pressure on me, and making me run until I puke.

The group followed behind me and everyone started cleaning. Brittany found a spot right next to me and followed my lead. I picked up about three strands of toilet paper, before I realized that everyone could do it and I'd gotten my point across. So I took a seat and pulled out my nail file.

As for Brittany, she picked up an empty roll and started to re-wrap a strand of tissue.

"Britt, what are you doing?" I asked her quietly so nobody would hear.

She looked at me. "Fixing this." She looked down at the empty roll and tissue in her hands. "It's such a waste."

I held in a laugh and shook my head at her. Even though she was almost crying a few minutes ago, she still had the decency to care enough about wasted tissue.

"I can't believe we got TP'd." Tina grumbled from across the room.

"Where's the Indians?" Brittany said loud enough for everyone to hear, though nobody responded. They were all too depressed to comprehend her dry humor. But I made it a point to exchange a smile with her.

Tina spoke. "I feel so violated. It's like someone broke into our home."

I looked over at everyone else and noticed that Mr. Shue had joined us. I also noticed Artie was wearing a white mask to shield from the flying white particles that kept getting stuck on everyone's lips.

Mr. Shue walked over to the trash can with a handful of tissue. "Look," he said. "It was just a lame little prank. The fact that they're trying to get to us means maybe we got 'em spooked."

"Uh-uh, Mr. Shue," Mercedes said. "They aren't afraid of anything. That number they did was fantastic." She piled on her handful of tissue paper, and Artie started using the end of a broom to shove it down into the garbage can. "Which doesn't make any sense. They had all that equipment. How did they even get in?"

Perfectly timed, Sue walked in, followed by a few students holding a _Cheerios _trophy. "I gave 'em all keys. Helped 'em do a sound check over the weekend." She waved at the students following her. "Hey, this way, fellas. Let's punch out this wall here, open up the space a little bit." She pointed to a far wall in our choir room.

I turned to Brittany. We knew exactly what Sue was doing. She'd been talking about it during practice for the past week. She was planning on making our choir room her trophy cabinet. When she talked about it before I never took her seriously. I always thought we had a chance to place at regionals. But now after watching Vocal Adrenaline, I can't help but think that this will soon be Sue's trophy room to decorate as she pleases.

"Sue what are you doing?" Mr. Shuester demanded.

"I can't talk now, William. Drafting class is helping me redecorate around here. You see, I have nationals over the weekend and I expect to return with a comically large first-place trophy for which I have absolutely no room in my trophy case. As soon as you hurry up and lose at regionals this choir room will become my official trophy annex."

I ignored her and Mr. Shue and turned back to Brittany. I saw that she looked just as lost as I did. We didn't know how to react in this situation. We were standing in the choir room, wearing _Cheerios _uniforms and Sue was preaching about how her _Cheerios _were going to take over Glee club and use this room as a dumping ground for our trophies.

"Glee clubbers," Sue spoke to us. "For those of you whose hearing has not been damaged by massive doses of Accutane, listen up. In a few weeks Glee Club will be finished. Now, how do I know that? Well, I recently checked the odds with my Vegas bookie who told me that you're forty-to-one underdogs at regionals. You are going to lose and your dreams will be crushed."

I looked at Brittany and saw that again she was trying not to cry.

"Sue, can I see your trophy?" Mr. Shuester pointed to the gold plated cheer trophy in our coach's hands.

"Sure, Will. Hope and dream."

Mr. Shue took the trophy, heaved his arm, and chucked it against the nearest wall. The clattering and breaking of the trophy cause all of us to gasp.

"You dropped your trophy Sue." Mr. Shue said with a straight face.

But Sue didn't seem to be phased at all. "You know, for me trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of 'em but they just keep coming. You know why?" She paused and stepped closer to our Glee director. "Sue Sylvester has hourly flare-ups of burning, itchy, highly contagious talent." When she said that I couldn't help but smile. Sue was cruel, demanding, and ridiculous, but that made her rare and indirect compliments only that much better. "Enjoy your last few days here. This room is mine."

She walked out and I watched Mr. Shue bite his tongue. We all waited for him to say something.

"Alright guys." I could hear the anger in his voice. "Let's get this cleaned up and head home. We could use a good night's rest." On that note he walked out.

We all continued to fill garbage bags full of tissue in silence. Even I decided to help a little bit. After Sue's little episode, it's probably not safe if I just sit and watch everyone clean up. I didn't want them to think I was trying to sabotage anything.

But after ten minutes I was starting to get claustrophobic. I didn't want to be in the room any more. The tissue was starting to make me sneeze and I kept thinking that our last Glee rehearsal was nearing.

I turned to Brittany. She was picking up garbage bags like they were feathers. Two in each hand. "These are so light." She laughed. It was the first time somebody had spoken since Mr. Shue left.

Her laugh helped. It cleared the air, and quickly people started chatting to one another. I walked over and picked up one of the garbage bags. It shocked me how light it was. I guess I never really considered how much tissue would weigh. Picking up the bag was like _The Incredible Hulk_ picking up something before he's mastered his true strength.

I laughed at how light it was and proceeded to pick up three more bags. Heck, I could carry a hundred of these. "We're going to take these out to the dumpster." I said to whoever was listening.

Brittany and I squeezed our black, tissue-filled, garbage bags past everyone and out the choir room door. Stepping out into the hallway was relaxing and refreshing. Like walking away from a field filled with those fuzzy white dandelions. It was nice to be away from everyone's stress and it was nice to be away from that awful fluffy tissue dust.

"These would make for awesome punching gloves." Brittany swung the four bags in her arms. "Or we could tie a string to the top and use them as a mace." She spun around in a circle with her arms extended. She purposely kept the mood light and avoided the thought losing Glee.

"Ha." I laughed. "I doubt they'd hurt anyone."

We continued down the hallway until a question that had been hiding itself blurted out before I had time to decide if it was the appropriate time. "Can I come over tonight?"

After I asked the question I saw her let out a small breath of air and nod _yes_. Ever since our _snuggle party_ in her bath tub, we haven't pushed the subject. But I wanted to. I wanted to be close to her. I needed more than hand holding and cute little hip bumps. She was intoxicating, and the instant she planted that seed in my head many months ago, I couldn't stop thinking about her. All she had to say was that she thought about kissing me, and my brain short-circuited. I wanted to experience everything with her. Experiment with everything.

Our friendship has grown, changed. We're so much closer. We were close before, but it's different now. Add friendship plus affection and the end result is the most intimate kisses and touches imaginable. Touching her skin caused my hands to burn, kissing her lips caused my lips to go numb, and thinking about her caused me to squirm.

I'd never thought about someone like this. She was constantly plaguing every thought of mine. And I know it's because we're best friends. I'm not best friends with anyone else, so I can't ever be this close with someone other than her. But there's more to it. I like how soft her touches are, how she knows what I like, and how she can practically read my mind.

She knew that I needed time to process things the night I stayed with her in her bath tub. She knew that I wasn't brave enough to come out of the bathroom, so she knocked on the door and brought in a pillow and blanket. And the fact that she brought up a childhood memory to make me feel comfortable was even more endearing. I just don't know how she can be such a good friend and at the same time send me into a frenzy every time she flashes her quirky smile.

I'm totally and completely falling for my best friend. I'm insane. I'm not a lesbian. I've always been with guys. I've slept with more guys than I can count. But with her, things are different. She treats my emotions like a best friend should, and she treats my body like a lover does. It's confusing and mind-boggling. I'd give anything to talk to someone about this, but I can't. I've only recently been able to admit these feelings to myself, so no way in hell was I going to admit them to someone else. I already think I'm crazy in the first place and I know exactly what's going on in my mind. If I tried to explain it to someone else they'd be forced to admit me into an insane asylum.

A soft thud hit my back and knocked me out of my inner dialogue of confusion. I looked over to see Brittany smiling and speeding away from me. She had hit me with one of her stupid garbage tissue bags.

I sped up towards her. She squealed and sprinted down the hallway. I sprinted.

We were running through the halls, carrying huge garbage bags stuffed with tissue, and giggling like maniacs. Anyone watching, knew that this was how we acted. With each other we were playful, knowing, and close. Around anyone else Brittany was sometimes shy, always confident, and a little peculiar. Around anyone else I was a bitch. But when it's just us, we're big goofs. Completely comfortable with one another.

We burst out the back door and continued to sprint towards the dumpsters. I wasn't planning on smacking Brittany with the bag; I just liked the idea of chasing and teasing her.

I slowed down as we neared the dumpsters and stopped to catch my breath. Brittany did the same and even plopped down and sat on one of her bags.

"Want to try something fun?" She asked me.

"Maybe." I put my hands on my hips in order to broaden my chest and allow more air in and out of my lungs.

She stood up, gathered my bags, and placed them by hers. The eight garbage bags made a decent sized, misshaped, circle.

When she was satisfied with how close they were, she backed up, got a running start, and jumped onto the pile of garbage bags. A small puff echoed as she squeezed the air from the bags when she landed. I was laughing so hard that my stomach was starting to hurt.

I didn't take as big as a running start as she did, but I followed her. And when I landed it felt like landing on clouds. The tissue compressed under me and I screamed as shifted across the garbage bags.

XXXXxxxxxXXXX

**Quinn's POV**

A scream caught my attention. I knew instantly that it was Santana's. Her and Brittany have their giggling fits at least five times a day and by now I've grown accustomed to their laughs. At first, it bothered me. _How could they have so much fun?_ What really started to irk me was when Santana made head cheerleader, and the two of them still found time to _screw_ around.

But I know Santana. She thinks I don't, but I know her better than most people at this school. The pressure will get to her and it will ruin her. She's not like the girl I used to be. I was hard on the outside, and the inside. Santana's not like that. There's no way. I've seen the way she treats Brittany. Even when we first joined Glee club, I could tell her heart wasn't entirely set on destroying it. Her words and insults were bitter and resentful, but there was no passion and meaning behind them. No matter how much she denies it, she isn't a true bitch.

Not until recently, until I became pregnant, did I start to think about someone else other than myself. I've grown close to everyone in Glee. Mercedes especially. They treat me like a friend and have never made comments about me being a sixteen year old pregnant statistic.

I rounded the corner and found Brittany and Santana rolling around on the garbage bags of tissue they had carried out. They looked completely ridiculous and I couldn't help but laugh. I missed these girls. Brittany always had crazy ideas and Santana had crazier ideas. They complemented each other so well that anybody in the same room as them would light up when they laughed.

"Oh! Quinn jump on!" Brittany yelled once she saw me.

"Yeah," I sarcastically and naturally snapped back. "Cause that'll be good for my baby."

"Right." Brittany nodded and pushed herself up off the bags. "It'll come shootin' out."

Santana laughed and sat up. She crossed her legs on a garbage bag.

"Right." I nodded in agreement. I was jealous. I wanted to jump on. I wanted to run around with them and be called the _Unholy_ _Trinity _behind our backs. I wanted everything back.

"Don't be a sour puss Quinn." Santana light-heartedly mocked me.

Brittany strode over and linked her arm with mine. Santana stood up and followed. The two of them led me back toward the school. I guess no matter how hard they try to put on a façade of power, they'll always crumple at anyone's sign of weakness. And again I'll say it. Santana is going to destroy herself as head cheerleader.

"Miss Pillsbury was looking for you Brittany. She said, if I saw you to ask you to stop by her office." I suddenly remembered the reason why I had come looking for them in the first place.

XXXXxxxxXXXX

**Emma's POV (this one was hard)**

Straight. Perfect. Four in each. I pushed the brochure display forward to line up with the rest. My job here is pretty simple. Talk to students.

A knock came from the door and a blonde wearing a red and white cheerleading outfit stepped in. Brittany. But that's not why I recognized her. She is in Glee. I've seen her dancing and singing. And I've listened to Will talk about her. But this will be the first time I'll have the chance to talk with her. She was a little odd and an excellent dancer according to my records.

"Hello there Brittany." I stood up and straightened my skirt. "Have a seat." I gestured toward the seats in front of my desk.

She didn't answer, but took a seat in a chair across from me. Her eyes never made contact. She looked like a child that knew it was in trouble, just not sure why it was in trouble.

I sat down. "So Brittany. How are you doing?"

"Santana said not to make eye contact. And I didn't do anything wrong, you have no proof." She kept true to her word and continued to avoid looking at me.

"Oooo-kay." I looked over her shoulder and saw Santana peering in through the glass. As soon as she noticed I was looking at her, she darted away and pretended to talk to Quinn Fabray. "Well you're not in trouble, I just need to talk to you about something."

She finally looked up when I mentioned she wasn't in trouble. "Boys?"

"No." I said.

"My motocross race?" She threw out another suggestion. "I totally didn't mean to cut off that guy."

"No, no…" I held up my hands.

"Santana?" She looked over her shoulder and tried to find her friend. She turned back. "My lips are sealed. You won't get one ounce of blood from me."

I was a little baffled by that one. Her and Santana were close. A little closer than need be, but who am I to judge.

"Brittany." I stopped her. "I just wanted to talk about that bird in your locker."

"I was wondering where that went." She responded and folded her hands on her lap.

"What made you think it was okay to put it there?" I asked the appropriate question a counselor should ask.

She just shrugged.

"You know birds carry a lot of diseases right?" I pulled out a small bottle of _Purell_ and slid it towards her. "You can keep that."

She graciously accepted the gift, but didn't respond.

"Brittany." I said her name again. They told me that saying people's names makes them feel comfortable. "I just want you to know that you can't bring things like that to school."

"But it was dying. And my cat would have ate it." She squeezed an unhealthy amount of the sanitizer into her palm.

"Right. But you need to let nature take its course. These things are natural." I straightened my posture.

"Like my monthly visitor. Is that what you're talking about? Periods." She had no problem saying that. She wasn't even embarrassed.

"Uh, well, uh. That's natural too." I paused for a second. "Did you want to talk about that…?" I prayed that she didn't.

She shook her head no, and I let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, you're free to leave just as long as you know what is and isn't allowed inside your locker." I smiled.

She nodded, stood up, and left my office.

XXXxxxXx

**Santana's POV **

I'd been sitting on the edge of her bed for fifteen minutes now while she tried to pull paint out of my hair. I felt her nails pinch and scrape down bits of my hair. I'd then watch as she'd toss the paint flakes to the floor.

It started off innocent. I was trying to do my homework at the foot of her bed, and she was flipping through the channels on her television. I should have known that was a sign. As soon as Brittany starts getting impatient, she stews up some crazy plan that starts out okay.

Of course when she asked if she could draw on me, I said yes. Of course, when she asked if she could put face paint on me, I said yes. And…of course, I didn't stop her when she started to put it in my hair.

Now I was cringing as she tried to pull the latex paint from single strands of my hair. I would have left it, but I'm pretty sure if I showed up at _Cheerios _practice tomorrow with bright pink chunks stuck in my hair, Sue would destroy me.

Brittany wasn't all to blame though. A lot of the paint that was stuck and tangled in my hair was because I'd tried to squirm away from her and get a good amount of the paint on her face in the process. It turned into an all out paint war.

I watched as she bent over me, her face inches from mine, and her eyes focused on a strand of my bangs she held between her fingers. Pink paint was smudged across half of her bottom lip, paint in the shape of my fingers ran down her neck, and I'd even gotten it on her tank top.

"Owe!" I pouted as her fingers plucked a few strands of hair out of my head.

She stepped back from me. "Sorry Santana." Her lip jutted out to mimic my pout. "I didn't think it would be so sticky. If it makes you feel better you look like a sexy-Barbie-army-Amazon."

"How could I not feel better with so many words to describe me?" I stood up and headed to her mirror.

At least I wasn't completely pink like Brittany. I had variety. Like a clown…Green paint highlighted my cheekbones, like a baseball player, and pink and yellow paint spotted my cheeks. It even looked like she tried to draw cat whiskers on me.

"Okay, so I admit that the toilet paper jumping was a good idea, but this was a bad idea. You're one-for-one today Britt." I scrunched my face and tried to unsuccessfully crack the dried paint.

My eyes moved to my hair. It was pink and matted. Definitely Amazonian.

"You can use my shower." Brittany suggested.

My heart somersaulted at the thought of showering here. The last few times we have been around showers, or bath tubs, it's turned out a little different than I would have anticipated. For starters, the night she came over drunk and we ended up hiding in my shower from Puck (who never actually showed up) was definitely an eye opener. It was that defining moment that showed me that she wanted me, and not in a friend-way. Plus, our sleepover in the bath tub may have been the closest I've ever been to someone.

"Okay." I shrugged off the nerves and headed toward her bathroom. I kept the door partially cracked. I didn't want her to think I was hiding…and maybe, somewhere in this crazy brain of mine, I wanted her to think it was okay to come in.

I stripped off my paint lathered clothes and tossed them into a small pile before stepping into the shower-tub. It wasn't like the bath tub we slept in the other night. It was smaller and the curtain was pink and extraordinarily bright.

I pulled the curtain shut and turned on the water. The cold stream stung my skin on contact. I'd been so quick to climb in, that I'd forgot to let the water heat up. But slowly, it heated and steam started to flood the bathroom.

As I tried to pick the paint out of my hair, I noticed it was nearly impossible to get out. Not only was it sticky, but I couldn't see all of it.

An idea crossed my mind. It was an idea that caused my heart to palpitate, and my pulse to quicken. And it really wasn't that _strange _of an idea. We've done much worse…

"Hey Britt?" I called for her. I couldn't believe it. Since when was I brave enough to do this. _Wait. What am I doing? _No…it's okay. You're just asking her for a favor. It doesn't have to mean anything. She's seen you shower in the locker room before.

_But is that really why I'm calling her? Am I calling her to help get the paint out of my hair, or do I want something else to happen?_

"This stuff isn't coming off." I heard her from outside the shower. She was already in here. "Is it coming off you?" She asked.

I held my breath, but the response blurted out. "I can't get it out of my hair."

She was quiet. Probably trying to figure out what to say.

"Can you help?" Holy shit, I asked. I can't believe I asked.

"Sure." The response was quick and sounded carefree. But I knew better.

I could hear her bare feet pad across the tile. When I knew she was just outside, I pulled the curtain inches to reveal just my face. I made sure my body was standing off to the side. "Hey." I said..._Wow, did I really just say, hey?_

She smiled and her eyes found my hair again. "Yeah, it's kinda coming out."

"Kinda." My nerves told me to duck back in and see if she leaves, but her smile had me completely captivated. I wanted to know why she was smiling, and if I shut the curtain on her, I'd never find out.

When I looked up from her smile to her eyes, I found an unmistakable look of lust. Either I knew her too well, or she's horrible at hiding her emotions. "Are you sure you want me to help?" She bit her bottom lip and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

The look on her face, her swollen lips, and her hazed eyes started to push away my self-consciousness. My hand reached for hers and I pulled it toward me until her fingers placed against my ribs. She stepped forward and kneeled against the tub's edge.

Her thumb started to make tiny circles below my breast. The sensation was distracting. So distracting that it took me a moment to notice that her eyes were fixed on my chest. My face started to burn, and my heart started to race again. I didn't want her looking at me naked. Not yet.

I leaned toward her so I was also pushing my knees against the bath tubs edge. I pushed my lips against hers and relaxed once her eyes closed. The kiss was slow. Neither of us parted our lips right away, but when she did I followed her motion and took her bottom lip in my mouth.

It was different. Hot, but different. I was soaking wet, naked, and kissing her.

Her hand continued to roam across my ribs, teasing just below my boob. Each time her thumb would run across the bottom of my breast I would push hard into her mouth, letting her know that liked it and that I wanted it.

Brittany caught my lip with her teeth and stopped the kiss. She stepped into me and climbed into the bath tub. The two of us stumbled back until I was flat against the wet wall. Her teeth clenching my lip loosened and her lips softly kissed the spot she had bitten. She tasted sweet and supple. Her lips fit perfectly into mine.

The water hit her back, brushed over her shoulder and hit the top half of my chest. It pushed away the cold chills, leaving behind the chills that Brittany was sending up my neck.

When her tongue flicked across my bottom lip I opened my mouth to let her in. Her tongue was quick. It grazed the tip of my tongue, and darted away for a few seconds while her lips massaged my own.

"You're clothes." I reeled my desire down a couple of notches when I noticed that her clothes were soaked and sticking to her body.

"They had paint on them anyway." She smiled again and started kissing below my ear. I melted when a long lick from the base of my neck and up my throat, ended with her sucking on my earlobe.

By now, I was throbbing in between my legs. The water tickling against my back, catching brief glances of her soaked white tank top sticking to her, and her hands slipping across stomach was invigorating. And now that her tongue was brushing the spots on my neck that made me tremble, I doubt if I'll be able to stand much longer.

Her hands had moved from my stomach and grasped the skin of my back. Her fingers dug in. I shuddered when she loosened her grip, slid one hand down my back, over my butt, and stopped her palm at the back of my thigh.

I found her lips again with mine and urgently altered between sucking and massaging her tongue. The kiss was becoming heady and passionate. Brittany was making me fight to keep up with her.

Her knee, and damp shorts, pinched in between my legs and separated them. With her hand still on the back of my thigh she tapped it with her finger tips fervently. "Lift it up." I obliged. I lifted my leg up and rested it on the tubs edge. Her body immediately pushed against my center.

We stopped kissing in the shuffle, and I was hugging tightly around her neck to keep balanced. Standing on one foot inside a slippery shower is probably a little dangerous. Dangerous, but sexy.

I was completely spread and exposed, waiting for her to do something about it.

To keep from kissing her neck and distracting her from my exposed center, I focused on the water hitting her back and pushing her hair over her shoulders. Strands of sopping blonde hair stuck to her neck and pulled them away with my fingers.

She pushed me harder against the wall, helping us balance. Her hand started to knead the underside of my lifted thigh. I leaned into her and pushed my moan into her shoulder and soaked tank top.

A shiver erupted from my body when her finger slid into me. She waited for me to stop shuttering before she curled the finger and twisted it.

"Oh God Britt." I hugged her neck tighter and buried my entire face into her shoulder.

Her hips pushed against me and spread my perched knee even further. A second finger pushed inside and I felt myself clench. I fought of my climax, knowing I would regret it if it happened so soon. I clenched tight around her fingers and held my breath. A soft long gasp reverberated from my throat and against her collarbone.

She pulled her fingers slightly out, only to push them in again. My breathing abruptly changed and I gasped. "Further." I hushed into her neck.

She listened. Her fingers deepened and explored inside me. Her other hand moved from my back and pressed against my swollen clit. I twitched in pleasure and held tightly around her neck to keep from sinking down.

Brittany started small circles with the same fingers that just pressed against my mound. The pressure was building up again. My stomach was knotting and I was starting to uncontrollably clench again. There was no way I could hold it back. The rhythmic circling and the deep penetration of he fingers was too much.

My body went limp and shuddered at the same time. All of my weight started to slip. Brittany noticed and pulled her fingers out. She grabbed my waist and pushed me against the wall to keep me standing.

I kept my face close to the skin of her neck. My ragged breaths echoed off her and bounced back to hit my lips.

A few seconds later I was still shaking from the climax.

She stepped back and grabbed my hands in her own. Her smile was wide, like she'd just accomplished something amazing. And she had. That was definitely amazing.


	17. Landslide

**A/N: Hey everyone! I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter. This chapter turned out a lot different than I initially intended. It's actually the first chapter where the majority of it involves...Brittana _together_. I'm not sure if I like doing that, because I've always been fond of using their lingering touches to explain things, but I think by now this was necessary. I'm also a little hesitant about how short of a time-period this chapter encompasses. I've been through two chapters and I'm not even halfway through Funk. But once again, I feel like taking things slow is necessary to flush out and expand on Santana's feelings. Oh, and I hope you catch the Landslide foreshadow ;)**

**It'd be appreciated if you could give me some feedback. Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 17 - Landslide **

A smile threatened to push past my lips. And it did. Every thought, except for Brittany, was shoved to the back of my mind. My confusion was suppressed and finally unable to overtake the grin that covered my face. I felt my dimples deepen, I felt the corners of my lips pull up, and I knew the smile had spread to my eyes. It was filled with our typical playful nature, but there was something more to it than vivacity. And there has to be a reason I'm doing it, though I can't pinpoint it right now.

Heat started to rise from my cheeks. I was blushing. Blushing, because I was standing naked in a shower with Brittany (who wasn't naked). Blushing, because I'd just expressed pure pleasure by moaning into the crook of her neck while she thrusted her fingers inside of me. Blushing, because I know I'm smiling like an idiot and I know she can see it. And blushing, because I'm blushing…It's like my face betrayed me the instant it saw my best friend's burning sapphire eyes examining a faint red tinge of embarrassment in my cheeks. I faltered, went haywire, and instead of cooling down I turned into a bashful and giddy little girl. I just hope she thinks I'm flushed because of the steaming shower, not because of what had just happened, and why it just happened.

I know that's unlikely. She knows. I'm out of breath, my chest is heaving, and my muscles are quivering. All signs that point toward my scarlet face being because of _her. _

But her smile was just as broad as mine. It was full of accomplishment and delight.

"Maybe we should get the paint out?" She asked. I couldn't help but confirm that she had indeed caught onto my growing embarrassment. Otherwise she would have drawn out the _after_-phase a little longer.

She dropped my hands and stepped toward me. Her approach made my heart flutter even though it was still barreling in my chest from my recent climax. But she sidestepped around me and the instant she stepped around me the water hit my chest. I took a step forward into the steamy stream, closed my eyes, and turned around to face Brittany and let the water hit my back half. If my eyes were closed I wouldn't be tempted to cross my arms over my chest.

I let the water soak back into my hair. It felt a little too hot, but I liked it. I liked the almost-scolding water, because it was distracting from the lingering heat in between my legs.

With my eyes still tightly pinched shut, I felt her fingertips comb through my hair. She would start just above my ears and then run both hands through until the tips of my hair slipped out of her fingers. She did this for awhile, occasionally finding different parts of my hair to brush through.

Her breaths would hit against my face and her clothes would periodically brush against my bare skin. She'd catch the side of my breast with her forearm and her shorts would lightly bump my hip.

The water that poured over my face and coursed down my body acted as a screen between my naked skin and Brittany. Whenever she would _accidently _brush my body with her own, my skin would light up and I had to hold my breath to keep myself from either begging her to touch me more, or to keep from running out of the shower and hiding in a corner.

_What if someone walked in looking for us? _The door isn't locked. We can't explain this. Sure, it'd be a different story if she was washing my hair in the sink, or if she was even peeking in through the curtain to help me. But no. We're both in the shower.

I noticed that I had subconsciously crossed my arms over my chest at one point. _When? _

Brittany's hands grabbed my elbows and she pulled me toward her and out of the water. It was cold without the steamed downpour. Immediately my lip started to chatter and goosebumps filled my body. Or maybe I was reacting to the loss of the _water-shield_ and not to the sudden drop in temperature. It was safe under the water, but now I was without a security blanket. I was again, completely exposed.

She started to massage my scalp and I felt the shampoo slip in between her hands and my head. It was helping. If she was focused on getting the paint out of my hair, then she wouldn't be focused on my continually changing landslide of emotions. I'd be foolish to think that these fears and questions I'm having aren't displaying like a flashing billboard across my face for Brittany to read.

Her hands pushed me back under the water and it hid the goosebumps on my arms and froze the tremble in my lips. I relaxed as she rinsed out the shampoo and petted through my hair. _Why hadn't we done this before? _This feels amazing.

She pulled me back out of the streaming water. _That's right, we didn't do this because I'm self-conscious. _I know she can see my chest, my body, my everything. I'm not perfect like her. I'm not confident like her. I can't even begin to count all my flaws.

This time I felt her hands moving faster, almost clumsy, as she worked the conditioner into my hair. She was moving quickly, which meant she saw my adverse reaction to being without water.

Again the water started pouring through my hair and her hands helped remove the conditioner.

I almost wish I would have helped her shower that night she showed up at my house drunk, instead of sitting on the sidelines. She wouldn't have acted like me (like a freak). I could have seen her naked and lustful. But it might have been too soon. If I'd been with her in the shower, we would have never had that experience on my bed only a few hours later. I would have never gotten the chance to give her her first orgasm that night (early morning).

The heard the curtain open, and heard her step out. I missed her hands instantly.

"I'm just going to change into something dry Santana." Brittany called back to me. The door opened and closed before I responded.

_Shit. Idiot. _You missed your chance. I'm such a selfish bitch. _Why didn't I return the favor? _She gave me ample time and opportunity to touch her back, but instead I pinched my eyes closed and hugged my chest. We had to have been in the shower for at least twenty minutes. I'd let pass a twenty-minute open window. I could have even taken her clothes off and alleviated my vulnerability. I could have hugged her, but the only affection I returned was the dorky, short, smile that only lasted a few seconds after my peak.

"Okay." I responded to her though she had already stepped out of the bathroom and closed the door.

I'm the worst friend ever. But maybe I can fix it. _What am I doing wasting time and pouting? _I can fix this.

Maybe I'm falling for her, maybe this is a phase of confusion. Either way, she's been more than accommodating to my panic attacks. She's the perfect friend, and I need to let her know that I want her. Or I need to at least let her know that I want to keep doing whatever it is that we are doing. Friends-with-benefits. Experimenting. Whatever.

I slammed the shower off and nearly leaped out of the tub. I was about to burst open the door and pounce at her, until I stopped myself. If I'm going to do this right, without freaking out and letting my panic control me, I need to cover up a little. I need to make it so that I'm not focused on her looking at me, but make it so I'm focused completely on her.

My clothes were in a pile. They were covered in paint. I couldn't put them back on. I could grab a towel, but what if it fell off? I reached for the towel anyway. I'll have to make this up as I go, but I can still salvage this.

I wrapped the fuzzy duck towel around my torso, took a deep breath, and opened to bathroom door. Brittany was pulling a t-shirt over her head with her back turned to me. Folded sweats and a t-shirt were sitting on her bed. They were for me.

I nearly sprinted toward the clothes and raced to get them on. I dropped the towel, yanked the t-shirt over my drenched hair and shrugged as the shirt stuck to my still wet skin. The _Cheerios _sweats were easier to get on.

As soon as I was dressed I turned to Brittany. Her eyes were wide and gawking. "Wow. You dressed faster than a ninja."

I pulled and un-tucked my hair from the inside of the shirt I was wearing. "I was trying to hurry." I examined her. She was already changed. Her hair was pulled back into a sopping sloppy pony-tail and she seemed to have lost the lust in her eyes. I was too late. "I forgot something."

"You forgot underwear." Brittany nodded in agreement. "I tried to find some in your _Cheerios _bag, but there weren't any."

The comment almost deterred me. But I refuse to be distracted. I wanted to return the favor, and to be completely honest with myself, I'm still a little hot from our shower.

"Lay on the bed." I ordered. It came out more demanding than intended.

She was a little startled by the order, but quickly obliged. She sat her bed, scooted back, and laid across the middle of the mattress. "Like this?" She asked for approval. Her hands were folded across her chest and her eyes were wide with questioning.

"Just like that." I walked around the bed and stood in front of her hanging knees. I smirked, guilty with intentions.

She understood the seductive way my lips curled and the desire instantly returned to her features. It was easier than switching on a light switch.

I crawled on top of her, one knee on either side of her hips, and sat on her center. A hushed groan caught in my throat. I was still sensitive. If I was to rock on top of her and grind against her for a few minutes, I'm positive I would climax again. But this wasn't about me and I need to find a different position to keep myself from pleasing myself.

I scooted back down and watched her frown at my retreat. The look on her face almost stopped me and sent me crawling back up to her lips. I hated getting her hopes up, but if she just waits a couple of seconds I'm sure she'll be content with the lips I decide to focus on.

When I reached the end of her bed, I stood back up and pressed my thighs against her knees. "Scoot down." I grabbed the back of her calves and dragged her towards me until her butt was on the edge of the bed.

I dropped down on my knees and frantically yanked her sweats with me. I tossed them to the side and turned back to her.

Something stopped me though. I was sitting on my knees by the side of her bed, I was in between her dangling legs, and her center was inches from my face. _What if someone walked in? _"Is anyone home Britt?" I sat up on my knees and looked over her stomach, over her chest, until I found her face.

"No." She responded quickly and anxiously shook her head.

I smiled at her answer. She relaxed her head back on the mattress.

My attention returned back to her chocolate chip cookie dough underwear. Even though it should have been adorable, it wasn't. It was sexy. I liked the way the underwear hugged against the inside of her thighs. And I liked the color. Blue. She always looked good in blue.

I hooked both pointer fingers around the waistband of her panties and slipped them down, over her thighs, past her knees, down her claves, and off her feet. I tossed the underwear on top of her sweats and scooted closer to the bed. My knees rubbed against the carpet as I did so.

The tip of my tongue started on the inside of her knee. I repeated what I had done in the photocopier room and ran the flat of my tongue up the inside of her thigh. As I slowly teased my way up, I saw her hold her breath. Her stomach froze and her leg muscles clenched. My tongue ran up higher and the closer I got, the tangier her skin tasted. But I stopped just on the outside of her entrance.

It took all of my strength to keep myself from diving in. I wanted to make this good and to do that I need to make this last a little while. I pushed my tongue against the crease on the inside of her leg and licked all the way to the outside of her hip. I repeated the motion on the other side.

Her breathing had returned. It was erratic though and her gasps only happened when either my tongue touched her or lifted from her body. I continued to find all the spots that would excite her. My favorite was the dimple below her hip.

Eventually I found myself pressing soft kisses against the bottom of her stomach. I could have done it forever. Her skin felt so good against my lips. I would alternate between using the tip of my tongue, to licking, to supple kisses.

I started to move lower again. Kiss. Lick. Suck. Each time I did that, her body would shiver. Just when I was about to reach her folds I stopped again and sat up on my knees so I could see her full body.

Her chest was lifting and falling with each of her shallow breaths and her eyes were closed. She looked like she wanted to open her eyes and find out why I had stopped, but she forced herself to wait.

I pushed the palms of my hands flat against the outside of her hips. With a fair amount of pressure, I ran my hands up her sides, leaned over her center, and stopped when my hands were on the outside of her bra. I easily slipped my fingers underneath both cups and stopped when her nipples ran underneath the creases in my fingers.

Her center jolted into my waist at the sensation. I squeezed her breasts and again her center pushed against me.

_Enough teasing_. I pulled my hands back down her body, leaned off of her and stopped when I was again kneeling in front of her.

"Wider Britt." I whispered.

She heard the demand as if I had yelled at her. Her knees snapped open wider and she scooted closer to me.

I trickled one hand up her calf, over the inside of her knee, and stopped when I reached her folds. I started to play with them. Spread them and explore. I was curious. I'd never really looked at another girl before.

Each time my finger tips touched a new spot, she would shiver. I was killing two birds with one stone. Learning and pleasing. My favorite part was when I would brush over her sensitive mount and her entire lower body would shudder in echo of a small gasp.

She was slippery and increasingly becoming wetter by the second. My fingers continued to run over her folds and I returned my lips to the inside of her thigh. No tongue this time. I liked the tingle her skin gave to my lips. She was warm. My lips were cold from nerves.

I knew exactly what I wanted to do and even though I was caught up in the moment, I was still a little nervous. But I had no reason to be. I'd touched her with my tongue before. On her couch. But maybe that wasn't what scared me. Maybe it was my reaction afterward. I didn't want that to happen again.

I decided to let my fingers go first. I stopped my soft kisses and focused on pushing one finger inside. The heat inside of her ran up my entire arm and I had to shuffle and pinch my legs to keep under control. When I stopped the throbbing from between my legs, I noticed that she was tightly clenched around my finger. So I slowly pushed in another, careful not to go to quick. But her gasp and whimper told me that I'd done just the right thing. I may not be experienced with pleasing another girl, but I sure as hell know what I like.

I pushed into her, knuckle deep, palm up, and stopped. It took her a second to calm down. I took note of her fists clenching the comforter and of the muscles in her jaw twitching.

I slid my fingers back out and pushed them back in. Out. In. Out. In. Each thrust, her body would jerk and she would gasp from holding in a moan.

This would work. I didn't need to use my tongue.

I went faster. Harder. And her hushed gasped turned into muffled moans when she lifted the back of her hand to cover her mouth.

Her body clench, she tightened around my fingers and a heavy moan vibrated through her body. Before I would have stopped when this happened, knowing that she was _there. B_ut this is the best part. I'm an expert at sex. I've done it so many times that I know how to keep someone _going_. _It can't be much different than a guy right?_

Despite her tightening around my fingers I continued to push in and out. It was harder, but it was worth the extra effort. Her face contorted with pleasure and her entire body went limp. I continued until I felt I was draining her. I pulled my fingers out and watched her come back down.

As she did so I shuffled around the room, shut her lamp off, grabbed her underwear and went back to the bed. She was sitting up and trying to catch her breath. In the dark I couldn't see her flushed face, but I knew it was there. I knew she looked exactly like I did after our _shower. _I handed her the chocolate chip cookie dough underwear and waited until she pulled them on.

Her silhouetted figure crawled under the comforter and held it open for me. I followed and snuggled in until I was lying on her chest with my eyes closed. Her heart was beating fast. I could hear it pulsating against my ear.

But my heart was beating equally as fast. And I know for different reasons. But she had good reason to be out of breath, because if she'd done that to me I'd be gasping for air. I grabbed her t-shirt in my hands and held the fabric tightly in between my fists. My heart rate was out of control, not because I was physically exhausted. I was emotionally exhausted. I'd changed my mind at least one-hundred times today. I'd come to the realization that I'm falling for my best friend. And the real reason behind my thundering heart…I'd liked what we just did. A lot.

XXXxxxXXXxx

"Santana you can't just take a nap during rehearsals." Rachel criticized from somewhere in the room.

I'd been one of the first ones in the choir room. I pulled three seats together at the top row and lay across the plastic chairs. I'm positive that if I hadn't lain down I would have tipped over from exhaustion. I'm so worn out.

_Cheerios _is kicking my butt. Nationals is right around the corner and being at the top of the pyramid comes with its own unique sacrifices. I work harder than everyone. I spend most of my time thinking about choreography, talking to Sue, or working out so I can pull off my flips flawlessly. I'm like a well-oiled machine…that's a little burnt out.

I was doing fine juggling my life, until yesterday when we all found out that Jesse was leaving Glee Club. He's returning to Vocal Adrenaline and now we're going to lose at show choir Regionals. Figgins will disband the club, and I'll have nothing to brighten my day.

Not to mention I'm sore as hell…My wrists are sore, my legs are sore…everything's a little sore from being with Brittany last night.

So I'll be damned if I turn down an opportunity to relax.

"Please don't talk to me Rachel. If I wanted to listen to dogs howling I'd go to the pound." I mumbled. My face was stuffed into my folded arms on one of the chairs. It took me a second to cringe at the insult…I wasn't even insulting properly. That was crap. _What's wrong with me?_

"The pound is so sad." Brittany said. She was sitting on the chair near my feet. "But I guess if you really think about it, it's like all the dogs are one big family. One big family that smells like beefy jerky."

I tried not to gag at the mention of the smell.

"Come on guys. We can't give up." Finn preached. I didn't even bother to look up and find out where he was sitting.

"That's right Finn." Brittany echoed him. "Those dogs will find a home."

I snorted into the crook of my arm, and finally decided to prop my head up and properly involve myself in the conversation. As soon as I was resting my head on my hand, I saw Rachel sitting at the piano and pouting. "Woah." I emphasized the word to add dramatic effect. "You're pants are really yellow."

Rachel didn't even bother responding.

"Banana legs." Brittany reached over and tapped my calf. I tilted my head and smiled at her. She continued to softly scratch against my ankle.

When her hand pulled away, I had to make it a point not to vocally pout at the loss of her contact. Ever since this morning, when we woke up curled next to each other, every second I'm away from her, I'm eagerly anticipating the next instant we touch. I've grown keen of our lingering touches. They made the moments like last night even better.

But I'm not really sure what happened last night. I liked it. Clearly she liked it. _But what does that mean? Or does it have to mean anything? _After my shower I fought through a post-sex panic attack and made sure she got the thank you she deserved. _Was it a thank you? Is that what that was?_

I stopped my thoughts. They were too much. It's gotten to the point where I don't even know what I'm internally arguing over anymore. There are too many things, too many questions, too many suggestions. For now, I just want to relax, stop thinking, hang out with Brittany during our last few days of Glee, and continue with our suggestive touches while nobody makes comments about them (aside from Puck's insistent pleading for us to join him at his house-I never took that seriously).

The choir room door opened and Mr. Shue finally walked in. "Alright, guys, today I want to talk to you about regrets." He strode across the room and stood in front of us. "Who has some?"

I choked on my air. That thought hadn't even entered my mind. I quickly shoved it down, buried, it and told myself never ever ever ever to bring it up. I never regret anything. Ever.

"Giving my heart to Jesse, just to have it crushed like the stage floor at a performance of _Stomp." _Rachel glowered from her seat at the piano.

"Thinking _trust me _was a sensible birth control option." Quinn sarcastically spat from the first row.

"We all have them." Mr. Shue continued. "I just finalized my divorce. I regret living in a relationship that wasn't working, letting her put me in these deep funks, and not fighting back."

If he says _regret _one more time I'm going to shank his throat. "Besides creeping us out," my sardonic tone attempted to insult, "why are you telling us this?" That's a little better. See, I can still insult.

He brushed off my comment and continued. "Because if we lose to Vocal Adrenaline at regionals, none of us are gonna regret it. We will have given it our best shot and we won't look back. But we will regret letting them get the best of us before the competition which is why we need to hit them back just like they hit us."

"So you want us to T.P. _their _choir room?" Quinn again didn't falter with her sarcasm.

Brittany again tapped my ankle and we exchanged a smile at the word T.P.

"Whatever the better, cooler version of that is, like, uh-maybe-maybe we should steal their school statue." He tried to suggest, but I couldn't hide my gigantic eye roll toward him.

"Their school statue is a giant bronze of a great white shark eating a seal pup." Kurt said using an uncharacteristically monotone voice. I glanced at Brittany to see her frowning. "It weighs three tons."

"Okay, well, how about this one?" Mr. Shue responded. "We'll get everyone to meet outside of their choir room during rehearsals. Make sure you bring everything you can find that can be filled with water. We'll tip water-filled garbage cans against the doors and once they open them-"

"No mames. Neccisito andar pedo if I'm going to listen to any of this." I interrupted his awful idea. Everyone turned to me, not understanding my Spanish. Sometimes when I'm tired I blurt things in Spanish. "Let's just threaten them or blackmail them or something. I mean, I'm pretty sure they had to bribe someone to use Frankenstein's forehead on a performer, Jesse."

"Come on guys. Let's get creative. I'm going to run to my office, but I want all of you to rehearse our numbers for regionals. In small groups work on choreography." He turned to leave. "And keep brainstorming."

Everyone started to talk amongst each other and I noticed Puck get up and approach Finn. I pushed myself up from my seat and crossed the remaining seats to reach Brittany.

"I'm too tired to rehearse." I said as I sat in the seat next to her and scooted my chair closer. "If I tried to dance right now I'd pass out."

"My legs are like Jello." Brittany agreed with me.

I leaned my head over and rested it on her shoulder. As soon as my eyes closed I was returned to the night before when we had fallen asleep together. Something about being close to her was addictive. And it didn't always have to be intimate.

Her hand rested on my knee and I drowned out the conversations going on around us.


	18. Simple & Funk

**a/N: I apologize for not updating sooner. I wanted to, but I just started a new full-time jobs and I'm just adjusting to the schedule. As for this chapter, I hope it works out the way I intended. It delves into the emotions and reasonings more so than any other chapter. In season 1, it doesn't show _anything _with Brittana that hints at what happens in season 2. But I think a lot needs to happen for the episode "Sexy" to have meaning and reasoning. So please read/review. Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 18 : Simple & Funk**

Mr. Shue squealed his dry erase marker across the white board as he wrote the word, _Funk_. "Funk." He turned to face us. "Use it in a sentence." _I can't stop thinking about when Brittany and I funked…no don't say that out loud. _"Come on! Rachel." He encouraged her to speak when nobody answered him.

"This cheese smells funky." She responded with her shoulders sagged and her arms crossed.

"That's because it's _fromunda _cheese." Puck mocked her. I held in a stifled laugh.

"Shut it, Puckerman!" She snapped like a wound rubber band.

"Okay, okay," Mr. Shuester intervened before things got out of hand. "I was thinking more along the lines of 'Vocal Adrenaline has sure put us all in a funk.'"

"I'm so depressed, I've worn the same outfit twice this week." Kurt mumbled from a few seats away.

Mr. Shue refused to be deflated. "What if I told you I knew how we could shove it right back down their throats?" He finally caught my attention and I looked up at this comment. _What could we possibly do to threaten Vocal Adreniline? _"New Directions is about to make their funk the P-Funk. We are gonna get funked up." Brittany turned to me and raised an eyebrow. "The only way to do that is to beat them at regionals. Vocal Adrenaline has never once done a funk number. They're a machine, a collective, synthesized, soulless beat." _Okay, I'm pretty sure that's the exact adjectives I use to describe sex with Puckerman. _"Funk is soul meets anger. Its passion is in its emotion. And Vocal Adrenaline doesn't perform with any."

I muddled over what he just said. _Passion? Is that it? Brittany and me? Can I use passion to describe what we are together?_ I guess I can define it that way, but that really doesn't get me any closer to the _why _part of everything. _Why is she so hot? Why do I constantly think about her? _

"So you have your assignment. I want you guys to turn McKinley High into-_Funkytown." _Mr. Shue sang the last word.

I nudged Brittany at the proposition. I've never been too into funk, but whenever a song comes on the radio I naturally know all the words. Funk, music funk (just to clarify), is fun. Of course, the other _funk_ is fun too.

"You guys can relax. I got this one covered." Mercedes pitched.

"Cool." Mr. Shue accepted and began to turn.

"Hold on a second." Quinn interjected. "I-I want a chance to get funky too." Most everyone laughed at the suggestion. I guess the thought of a white pregnant girl getting funky doesn't fit the generalization and in some cases could seem a little humorous. But I didn't laugh. And Brittany didn't laugh. We both were silent as inconsiderate laughs stung the air.

I'm not sure if Brittany was quiet because she wasn't paying attention to the conversation, or she didn't think it was funny_. _I'm leaning more towards the latter. Brittany's the girl who steps out of stereotypes and I know understands Quinn's frustration.

Maybe Brittany's a little _different_…and just happens to be blonde, but she's not a dumb blonde. She says things that aren't typical and she thinks differently, but if someone were to really analyze what she says, and they really understood her, they'd see that she is in all seriousness kind of smart. She steps over boundaries when she dances. She's the _only _girl in our school that can dance like _that. _She's open and never hides things-whereas most girls in this school hide themselves entirely. And, she's having a _relationship_ with me. She's the definition of _breaking stereotypes. _She's not going to laugh at Quinn.

Mercedes continued to chuckle. "Good one Quinn. It even sounds funny when you say it."

Quinn ignored the comment and continued to talk to Mr. Shue. "You said funk was about soul and anger. I have plenty of both. Look at me. Look at my life. I'm furious!"

"Let's be honest," Mercedes responded. "When white people try to be funky, you end up with K.C. and the Sunshine Band."

Artie smiled and remarked, "I love Boogie Shoes."

"Mercedes' racism aside," Quinn didn't falter. "I will have something prepared tomorrow." The snarkiness in her tone was still sharp.

"Alright." Mr. Shue clapped his hands together. "Quinn goes first."

The school bell rang, signifying that rehearsal was over. Habitually my pinkie reached for Brittany. It's become routine for us, particularly after Glee rehearsal. I'm not sure who started it, or even when it specifically started (somewhere within the last few weeks, maybe after what happened in her bath tub), but we do it every day without even thinking twice. It's like we're programmed to link pinkies.

When we stepped into the hall I broke off from Brittany and told her I had to use the bathroom. She nodded and said she'd wait in the hall for me. I went to the closest bathroom and hurried. When I was done I peeked into the filtering hallway and scanned.

There she was. Standing by Quinn's locker. I stepped completely out of the bathroom and began walking toward the two blondes. Seeing Quinn without her cheerleading uniform still hasn't completely sunk in. It's weird. She looks so feeble without it. Like her suit of armor had been stripped from her in the middle of a jousting match. Now she wears stupid little dresses and cardigans...and complains about not being intimidating.

The strange thing, I've gotten to know Quinn more so in these past few months than I ever did when she was head cheerleader. I didn't grow up with Quinn, like I did with Brittany. I don't know a whole lot about the girl. The only reason we became friends in the first place is because the social stew mixed us in a similar pot. Cheerleaders are friends with other cheerleaders. It's simple.

Brittany was staring at the former head cheerleader. Her eyes were wide and impatient as Quinn read through a crumpled piece of notebook paper. I recognized the paper immediately. It was Brittany's homework. She'd been working on it last night while we watched a movie at her place. _How could I not recognize it?_ It's one of the few assignments she's done before it was due. Not only that, but she didn't ask me for my help on it. She sat on her bed, didn't scoot towards me, didn't pet the back of my calves, didn't tickle behind my ears. She just did her homework. At the time I tried to act normal, knowing just the night before that we'd both pleased each other beyond anything imaginable and that we were still recouping from the encounter.

And while she didn't pay attention to me, I sulked on the other side of her bed. I had tried to do my homework, but was too busy pushing away the plaguing, vivid, memory of how she had touched me in the shower and how I'd touched her afterward.

_Now Quinn was reading over her homework? What the hell is going on and since when can't she ask me for help on her assignments? Did what happened between us change things?_

I altered my brisk walk towards the two into a hurried stomp.

"Hey." The greeting came out a little more accusatory than I had intended.

Quinn slowly pulled her eyes up from the notebook paper. She looked, befuddled. When her eyes caught mine it still looked like she was reading Brittany's paper.

"Please don't look at me like that." I shifted. Her gaze was making me nervous, because I couldn't interpret it. "You look like you just found out nobody wants to adopt your baby. I say you keep it. Name it Dirty Sanchez."

My catty retort snapped her out of her daze. "Shut up Santana. I will not name my child after you."

"Oh wow.." I crossed my arms. "What do single mothers name their children these days? You'll have to keep your child busy sucking yours teats so maybe it won't notice the lack of a man in your life. And eventually your nipple will fall off."

"Don't even go there with me." Quinn barked. "_Man_ in mylife. That's a joke." She handed Brittany the crumpled notebook paper and turned to her locker. "Guess you'd know all about the _men _in your life."

With her back to us, I looked at Brittany. She nodded toward Quinn and frowned, her eyes practically begging me to act contrite. I know I'm being harsh and what I said was uncalled for. Quinn and I have been on good terms lately. _Why am I trying to ruin that?_

"I need to turn this in. It was due last period and I forgot. So, I'll be right back." Brittany turned on her heels and darted away.

I internally reached for her and jumped at her abrupt retreat. I knew why she left. She wanted to give Quinn and me a little space. Brittany has always been like that. Empathetic. She notices others; see's the good in others. It's something she's been silently and deviously trying to help me improve on.

_So knowing that 'kind' isn't a strong enough adjective to describe Brittany, why am I so terrified of her seeing me vulnerable_? Each and every time she's done something to me, something to please me, it's turned into me panicking about the situation.

Maybe it's because I'm terrified of her finding something she doesn't like. And with my clothes off there's so much more for her to see. There's a greater chance for her to find something to cringe at.

Holy shit. _How did it take me so long to figure this out? _I've always known Brittany to have a good-heart, but it took _this, _her implying that I need to apologize to Quinn, for me to connect the dots. The catalyst was so simple, so silly.

I'm terrified of losing her.

I can't afford for her to find something. That's the thing that has been gnawing into the back of my skull.

"Can I ask you a question?" The words escaped my lips before my brain had a chance to harness them.

"What?" Quinn spoke into her locker. Her words were still strict and aggravated. The way she spoke caused me to freeze up and lock the question inside my throat. A few seconds of silence passed before Quinn turned around to face me. I watched the hard look that overwhelmed her face fade away. She softened. The straight line of her lips loosened, her eyes widened and awaited my question. "What?" This time she asked the question and I knew she wanted me to respond. She wanted to help.

My face must have given me away. She must have seen the thoughts within my mind and the confusing justifications portray themselves within my face. It's the only way she could have forgiven me so quickly.

I,I-I," I stuttered. My words were failing me. _What the fuck? _I've never acted like a blubbering idiot, especially not in front of Quinn Fabray.

Quinn didn't budge. She patiently waited for me to find the question and for my tongue to catch up with my brain.

"I," I took a big gulp. "I'm thinking about getting a boob job." The words didn't fit. They were awkward. Only seconds have passed since realization and understanding about my insecurities, and this resolution was immediate. Maybe the words sounded out of place, because I really haven't had time to process the solution. It made sense though. Get a boob job, make myself look hotter. Simple.

"You know Ms. Sylvester's policy." Quinn's eyes jumped down to my chest and returned to my own eyes. "She won't allow it."

As if I was reading an instruction manual, the steps on how I could accomplish this scrolled through my mind. "I'll do it over the summer. She won't have to know. I'll have plenty of time to recover and adjust to the change. My dad has been asking me what I want for my birthday and this would be perfect."

"Perfect how?" Her eyes narrowed. She gave me the same look that she gave me at Puckerman's party months ago when drunk-Brittany and drunk-me had come across her. It was that look that I could never fully interpret. Was she jealous or concerned?

"What do you mean, _perfect how?" _I rolled my eyes at her.

"It's just." She paused to think. "Surgery is a big thing. Changing your body is a big thing. And you have to think about the consequences. Do you really need this?"

"Yes." I said it before she even finished her last sentence.

I decided to change the subject before her confusing glare burned holes through my face. Plus, I'm not sure how much longer I can take this _friendly _conversation crap with Quinn before I melt or turn to stone or something weird. "What did Brittany have you read?"

She seemed a little thrown by the quick U-turn in our conversation. "It, uh, was homework. Her homework. She was just asking me to proof-read it."

Now it was my turn to give Quinn _the look. _I was about to ask her, _what homework, _but I didn't want her to think that Brittany was hiding something from me. "Sure." I nodded.

"Okay, well I need to get to a baby appointment. I'm going to be late." Quinn shut her locker.

"Yeah. Okay."

XXXxxxXXxXX

"Lopez!" An augmented voice pierced through my eardrums. "You're responsible for this. It is your fault. How are we supposed to win Nationals if the double back flip isn't perfectly timed?" Sue pulled the megaphone down from her lips.

I stood petrified. "It was timed. They both jumped on the same count."

"No!" Sue stormed toward me. Now the megaphone was inches from my face. "It was half a second different on the left foot. Do you think I'm blind? You know what, I'm going to change your name to Dora the awful Explorer. I suggest you cut your hair into a tiny bob and start carrying a backpack with a map. You'll need it to find a good hiding place once we lose at Nationals."

"But-," I stuttered.

"No buts!" Sue yelled inches from my face. The volume felt like it was going to tear the skin off my face. "You'll cause us to lose and you'll be forced to prostitute yourself in a small podunk town just so you have enough money to pay rent. Soon enough you'll contract an STD, you're looks will fade, and you'll become homeless."

I gulped.

"Enough ladies. That's it for today. I'm going to be late for an important date." Sue threw the megaphone across the gym floor and charged toward the exit.

I watched her slam the doors open. And I stood wide eyed as the doors clicked back shut. _How could she say that?_ Our routine was flawless. We've been at it all day. It's passed seven, it's already dark outside, and not once did we have a hitch in the choreography. I just don't understand how she saw that, and I missed it.

A small pinkie hooked around my own and I jumped at the contact. I knew it was Brittany, but I was on edge. Nervous. Overwhelmed. These past few days have been a little tough-from my recent conversation with Quinn to our five-hour daily practices for _Cheerios. _

"Sorry." Brittany apologized for startling me, but didn't pull her pinkie out of mine. "Don't worry about Sue. We were good. We'll be fine. And you won't be a prostitute. I'll hide you in my house if we lose and Sue blames you."

"Britt, that'll be the first place she looks." I said as we started to head towards the parking lot.

"Well," Brittany smiled. "I'll tell her that you're my prostitute and that her plan is in full motion."

I laughed and bumped her shoulder. We made small chat all the way to my car and all the way to my house. We talked about the upcoming cheer Nationals, we talked about Glee and what funk song would be fun to sing, and we even talked about Quinn. I had purposely brought up her name to see if Brittany would mention the homework assignment she let Quinn read and not me, but she didn't bite. Instead Brittany just kept talking about Quinn's baby.

When I pulled into my driveway we continued our conversation and I even laughed a few times at what she was saying. More specifically, I was laughing at her comment about how similar breast feeding and milking a cow are.

We walked into my house, changed, and flopped down onto my bed. Both of us were dead tired. _Cheerios _was wearing us out. My legs were numb from the pyramid, my back was stiff from doing back handsprings all day, and my ankles felt like they weighed a hundred pounds.

The radio was playing music softly. Background noise. Both of us were lying on our backs, on my bed at different angles, and staring at the ceiling. I wanted to sleep, but this was when I had planned to officially ask Brittany about the homework assignment. I wanted to save the questions until the end of the day. It was easier that way. I knew that having Quinn read her homework assignment wasn't something I should take personally. It was probably something silly. But just in case. Just in case there was a reason behind it I wanted to save the conversation until we were in the comfort and safety of my bed. If there was something wrong…

"What was your homework assignment?" I asked her with my eyes still closed. The words came out with a little more control than expected. My mind was tumbling around in possibilities, but my words were subtle. _Was Quinn her new best friend if me and Britt's relationship had changed? _

"For English. Remember we had to write a letter to someone influential." Her voice reached my ears.

"Oh, right." I remembered the assignment. I'd even turned mine in early. "I wrote mine to the Ying Yang Twins thanking them for at least making my first sexual experience with a guy somewhat tolerable. I can't imagine what it would have been like if there was no music."

"I sort of did mine with music too." I heard Brittany shuffle around. I opened my eyes to see her hop off the bed. She crouched by her duffle bag and pulled out the crumpled homework. But instead of climbing back on the bed she stood by her bag and held the paper in both hands. "Glee has sort of taught me that music already has answers and that there's like a song about everything."

"So true." I agreed, but still didn't understand where she was going with this.

"I figured that finding a song would be totally easier than finding words. Not that I don't have any words, but it just would have taken longer." She nodded and shyly smiled. Instantly I knew she was unsure and uncomfortable. Timid. Her body language was screaming nervousness.

"I still don't get it Britt." I sat up and pulled my legs into my body so I was sitting cross-legged. Her concealed stance was making me to want to tuck into myself.

"I used the lyrics of a few songs to write my letter." She paused. "Except the teacher said that was technically cheating. Capitalism."

"Plagiarism?" I questioned and correct her.

"Right." She swallowed an awkward breath of air. "Well so here." She handed me the crumpled letter.

At first I was still a little confused. It's not until I turned the paper to face me and read, _Dear Santana, _that I understood.

_Dear Santana, _

_Here's the situation, been to every nation, nobody's ever made me feel the way that you do. You know my motivation given my reputation. But tonight I'm loving you. Close your eyes, make a wish and blow out the candlelight. For tonight is just your night we're gonna celebrate._

_Conversation got heavy, she had me feelin' like she's ready to blow. Watch out. She was saying, come get me, so I got up and followed her to the floor._

_I know you want me. I made it obvious that I want you too. So put it on me. Let's remove the space between me and you. Now rock your body. Damn I like the way that you move. So give it to me, cause I already know what you wanna do._

_Girl relax, let's go slow I ain't got nowhere to go. You're so damn pretty, cause on a one-to-ten she's a certified twenty._

_Love, Britt_

I reread the letter at least ten times, but it was the first paragraph that grabbed my attention. Specifically, _You know my motivation given my reputation. But tonight I'm loving you. _It hit home. It related to exactly what had sent me over the edge the day that Karofsky said Brittany did it with anyone. Brittany had taken that fear and laid it out very simply. She was saying (even though these words were lyrics) that despite her reputation-there was more to us.

The letter in my hand is extraordinarily cheesy. I've never been one to fall for silly romanticism. I always found that kind of stuff annoying and fake. But reading this letter wasn't fake. It was Brittany expressing herself, being careful about it, and saying things that she thinks I need to hear. It wouldn't have worked if she wrote a letter and said this stuff in her own words. The only way this worked, was because it was indirect. It was coming from her, but in the form of lyrics. The fact that it was so Brittany-like, is what made this acceptable. It was honest, yet innocent.

…Except it was public. "Oh my God." The words crept up my throat and I had to hold my breath to keep myself from getting sick. "Other people read this?" I spoke so softly that I thought I was going to have to repeat myself.

But she heard. "No no. Santana its fine." She jumped on the bed and sat with her thighs touching my knees. "Just the teacher and she's too old to understand it."

"And Quinn." I dropped the letter in her lap. "You let Quinn read this."

Brittany looked lost at my panic. "Well yeah. She knows we love each other. A lot of people do. The guys in Glee see us holding hands and stuff all the time."

"This," I grabbed the letter out of her lap by the middle of the paper and crunched it in my fist. "This! This doesn't read like that. Sure, I know what it means, but nobody else does. It's talking about how we are going to have sex. That's what Quinn and our English teacher are going to read and think."

"You're mad…" Brittany rested her palm on my knee.

I had to clench my jaw to keep from yelling again. "Yes." I hissed. "No…" I took it back. "I'm not _mad. _I'm just-…"

"But you're crying. You're mad. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I just, I wanted to tell you how I felt without sounding too confusing. And these are like our favorite songs." She put her other hand on my other knee. "I wanted you to know how I felt. Or at least know that I feel something."

"Yeah." I mimicked the tone Quinn used at her locker earlier today when she said _what _for the first time. _Shit. _Quinn. She knew. That's why she acted weird when I asked her about Brittany's homework. She knew. She knows. I closed my eyes and felt the tears catch in my eyelashes. She knows. She knows. She knows.

"It's okay Santana. They're not going to say anything. Quinn isn't like that." Brittany leaned into me and pulled me into a hug. It was tight, but not suffocating. I wanted to push her away and give myself time to process and come up with a plan. I needed to figure out a way to make this okay. But her touch, her hug, her everything was too enticing. I liked having her close too much to push her away.

My shoulders were shaking with my cries. I felt silly. Like I was crying over something petty. But I wasn't. This is terrifying. I'm confused, and at the same time, I'm in love with her. I want her, and she just admitted that she wanted me to. I shouldn't be upset. Yet I am. It's just…the thought of someone knowing about this, before I'm even able to justify everything for myself is too much to think about.

Brittany continued to speak and comfort me. "We don't have to talk about it. I won't submit this as my final draft. I'll write something else to Lord Tubbington. I just wanted you to know I cared."

"I know you care." I mumbled into her shoulder. After everything she's done for me. Sleeping with me in her bathtub, waiting for me to calm down in the photocopy room after Figgins walked in on us, everything. She cares. I'd be blind to not see it.

Her hand rubbed my back and my sobs started to diminish. "I'm sorry." I again mumbled into her shoulder. "You shouldn't have to deal with this."

She laughed. It was soft and somewhat comforting. "Don't be silly. You're my best friend. You deal with me."

After a few moments I finally leaned back out of her embrace. Immediately I missed the closeness, but I didn't want to push my luck.

"Now what?" I asked into the empty placate of my room. The question was a little awkward, but not as awkward as I thought our silence was going to become.

"Well," she grinned. "We can do what my letter says. Unless you're tired or something." _Something _was code for confused/unsure.

I nodded and wiped the tears from my eyelashes. The nod was diffident, but accepting. After our last encounter, I've been itching to be close to her like that again. There were things I wanted to try. My minds been running wild with possibilities. And I know that being close to her would momentarily push away the confusion. And she knew that too.

She scooted closer to me and put her either side of my hips. I kept my legs crossed. "What'd you want to do?" I whispered against her lips as they approached my own.

"Something different." She whispered back. She leaned closer and touched her lips against mine. It was brisk and she continued to speak. "Any ideas? I have a few." Her lips brushed against mine from her words.

I smiled and the instant my lips curled up, she caught them in her mouth. She tasted sweet. I wasn't sure if it was her grape LipSmackers, or her blueberry LipSmackers. They sort of tasted the same.

My stomach twisted and untwisted at the same time. Having her close always put butterflies in my stomach. Our mouths moved with each other. Grazed. Sucked. Bit. It was playful. Both of us were fighting to remain dominant. The kisses were short and followed by teasing gestures.

I giggled and then she pressed her lips hard against mine to suffocate the laugh. The next few seconds were filled with silence, smacks, and gasps.

I sat up on my knees so I was leaning above her. My hands wrapped around her neck as I shifted, careful that I didn't lose the contact of her lips. Her teeth pinched hard against my bottom lip. If it weren't for the burning throb aching my body, I would have found it painful. She kept a tight bite around my lip and pulled me on top of her, until I was straddling her hips.

The kiss returned as her head rested against the mattress. This time I was fully in control, because I was on top. I decided how hard I wanted to push, when I wanted to use my tongue, and just how I wanted to tempt her.

My body suddenly jolted and I moaned into her lips. The kiss staggered and I jerked. The skin on the back of my neck tingled as I my lips clumsily bumped the corner of her mouth. As soon as the wave of pleasure passed, I felt her hand continue to softly and gently massage between my legs. I'd been so caught up in the kiss, that I hadn't noticed her hands move down and palm my center.

She pushed her fingers hard against me again. The brief and random pressure sent another chill of erratic breaths up my throat and passed my lips. "Let me take my pants off." I stuttered in between gasps.

Brittany ignored me and snapped her hands back up. One hand wrapped around my neck and the other pressed against my ribs. She pulled me back into her lips. I kissed her again, despite the growing and pounding pulse in between my legs. Her lips had subdued me.

My breathing was ragged, my throat was dry, but my lips were moist. The comforter felt hot against my knees and against any skin that touched it. I was warm. My skin was burning. I wanted her to touch me. To stop the burn. Her hand tickled behind me neck and her fingertips felt like ice. And her lips felt chilled, like she'd been sucking on ice cubes for the past half hour. I couldn't figure out why my body was so sensitive to every touch, but I liked it. It was new, different, erotic.

A split decision crossed my mind. If she wasn't going to speed things up, then I was going to do something about it. I moved so I was now straddling just one of her thighs. Still my lips fought with hers and my tongue teased hers.

I scooted my knee up until I bumped in between her legs. I laid my chest flush with hers and methodically started to grind my knee against her center.

"Hm." Her voice was slightly higher pitched than it usually was. But she didn't stop the kiss. She was determined to keep a hold of my lips.

Three sharp pounds echoed throughout the house. I jumped off of her, bounced once on the bed, and tumbled down to the floor. A thud followed my impact with the carpet. I thought that the pounds were still echoing throughout the house, until I realized it was only my heart pounding against my chest.

_Who was here? _I jerked my neck toward the clock. _9:46 P.M. _I looked back up at Brittany. Her eyes were fixed on my door, which means someone has to be here. My paranoia isn't getting the better of me. I'm not hearing things if Brittany is just as freaked out as I am.

When I stood up from the floor I felt a bruise already forming on my butt. _Great. _

Three shrill knocks echoed throughout the house again. "Lopez." The voice was instantly recognizable. I would know that yell if it were hidden in a crowd of a billion people. Sue Sylvester.

I scrambled out of my bedroom and raced toward the impatient knocking. I listened as Brittany pattered and trailed close behind me. When I flung the front door open we were face to face with Sue Sylvester. Our cheer coach was standing on my porch in her characteristic red track suit. But something was different. _Were those pearls around her neck? _

"Coach?" I questioned.

She looked furious. Maybe I should have pretended not to be home. But who am I kidding. Sue calls, I come a runnin'.

"What football players are in here? You girls have sex hair." She tried to look past me and Brittany and down my hallway. "That's it. _Cheerios _is through. I'm tired. We're ruined_. _If you were half the captain that I anticipated then maybe we could make it through this, but it's over. Tell the other girls that we're not going to Nationals. I don't care what you tell them. Maybe mention about how your priorities aren't straight. You spend too much time in Glee and too much time with boys. Not enough time as my lap dogs." I couldn't find my lungs to breath. "But now you'll have to settle for a life of mediocrity. You are mediocre. Just like Kathy Griffin, never quite famous." She narrowed her eyes. "You'll become pregnant with two kids by the age of twenty, different fathers, you won't have a cheer scholarship to fall back on, and you'll have no friends because nobody truly likes the _head cheerleader._" Sue turned and power walked off of my porch. She stopped and turned back. "Oh and remember that this _was _your only opportunity. Colleges don't look at girls that can sing and dance." She looked over my shoulder and at Brittany. "They look for athletes with talent. And now neither of you are athletes." She left.

**a/n: Okay, so I had a hard time posting this. I wasn't entirely confident in this chapter. I think it had to do with Brittany's letter...Please leave any comments or suggestions. I'm lame for asking twice I know. Let me know how it worked, if it worked, what you liked. Thank you.**

**Oh and I've had a few reviews asking about Sue's random scene. In the episode "Funk" Sue get's ditched by Will at Breadstix. That's when she shut down the _Cheerios _before Nationals. I just took the liberty and figured that her stopping by Santana's house (her head cheerleader) and trying to blame her was the simple way out of her commitment. It would have happened after she stopped by Will's house and told her why he lead her on. **


	19. The Domino Effect

**A/N: ! Another update! I was going to post this yesterday, but I hadn't finished the very last scene. This chapter is one of my favorite I think. It was fun to write. Oh and of course, thanks everyone for reviews! They make me want to write MORE! Hm...I'm still on the episode Funk. Three chapters for just one episode. A lot more than I had initially intended to write. Leave a review! **

**Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 19 - The Domino Effect**

Sue kept true to her word. She didn't show up to practice the next morning or the following day. Nobody has heard from her. More importantly, I haven't heard from her. Sue's _never _blown off a practice; she's never left us in the dark. At first the other girls didn't take her absence seriously. They assumed that she had gotten sick. I knew differently. Sue Sylvester takes such an unhealthy portion of vitamins and protein on a regular basis that it may be impossible for her to get sick. That information coupled with the fact that she literally came to my house, stood on my doorstep and told me that she was giving up, is enough warrant for me to presume the worst. The way she yelled at me and the words she spat on my doorstep are still entrenched into the front of my skull. _That's it. __Cheerios __is through._

The only person who knows about Sue coming to my house is Brittany and I want to keep it that way for as long as possible. I don't want the other girls blaming me. It's already hard enough to deal with that information in secret. I would probably blow up if others knew it was my wrongdoing and incompetence that ruined our chances at Nationals, and in turn, their future.

Lately, secrets have been a close friend of mine.

But I've cracked. These past few days I've been able to keep my emotions in check, but something irked me. I don't even know what it was. Maybe it was seeing other girls crying and seeing them finally acknowledge that _Cheerios _is finished. Maybe it was Brittany refusing to put her uniform top on correctly and coming to school with it backwards. Maybe it was the recent conversation with my dad, where I had to lie about the competition and tell him that I was packing for it tonight.

Sobs racked my body. It felt good to cry. Like a damned river had finally burst. Ideally, I would have preferred the privacy of my own home, or my car, or even the girls' bathroom, but at the moment I don't care. All the other cheerleaders are openly depressed, so I shouldn't be any different. Hell, I'm head cheerleader. I should be the worst of them all.

I reached into my locker and pulled out a yellow Kleenex box that had polka dots all over it. It belonged to Brittany. At the beginning of the school year she told me that having Kleenex is a necessity, because in grade school the teacher put it on the _required supplies list_ after _number two pencils _and before _Elmers Glue. _After I told her the classrooms in high school already have Kleenex she still insisted that she keep it. She wanted to eventually make a tiny guitar using rubber bands and a toilet paper roll. Halfway through the school year she pulled out the Kleenex box and was about to throw it away. She said it took up too much space and she needed enough room to fit a shoe box inside her locker. A shoe box with a dying bird in it…I didn't have the heart to discourage her.

I also didn't have the heart to toss out the Kleenex. I kind of liked her idea about the cardboard guitar.

And I was thankful that I had kept the tissue. It was the only thing keeping me from looking like a complete mess.

But after awhile my sobbing turned hysterical weeps. The tissue was a forgotten cause, other than it gave me something to hug against my body. I leaned back against the lockers to keep myself from crumpling to the floor and curling up into a ball.

I felt sick. I'd ruined everything. Not only did I ruin my future and my reputation, but I ruined everyone else's. I ruined Brittany's. Sue had said it. Colleges look for athletes and neither of us gets good enough grades to go anywhere important. _Cheerios _was our crutch.

"Daddy, daddy." The name flooded from my mouth. It wasn't even like I had meant to say it, because at this point I had lost all control of my emotions.

It only a matter of time. I knew a breakdown was nearing. All those tiny panic attacks with Brittany were just battles. They were the pre-game warm up. This was the real deal. And I knew one of the reasons I couldn't stop crying was because I was mixing my emotions and fears. I was jumbling up everything and making it worse. The longer I cried, the more things that I started to worry about. It had started out as me crying about _Cheerios _and as soon as I started to think about how I'd ruined Brittany's reputation and future, I started to panic about everything else that had to do with Brittany.

I was trying to remember what her letter said. I knew bits and pieces of it, but I was missing sentences and phrases. Just last night, I was effortlessly able to recite the entire thing. I knew it by heart not only because it meant a lot to me, but because I knew the songs. Now I was drawing a blank. My mind was fighting too hard to keep my body from experiencing an entire nuclear meltdown and I couldn't concentrate.

"Santana, are you alright?" Someone invaded my space.

I opened my eyes to find Mr. Shuester standing close. He looked worried and unsure about how to proceed with comforting me.

So I gave him a meek and pathetic nod and turned away. As I crossed the hallway and headed for the opposite row of lockers I clenched my fist in frustration.

Useless. I was useless. I relaxed my fist, turned to press my back against the wall and sunk down to the floor. More for comfort than anything else, I sat cross legged. It reminded me of the other night with Brittany when I had sat on my bed and read that letter. It gave me a since of security, and that any second someone (Brittany) was going to come and hug me and tell me that everything will be okay.

My body continued to jolt with my sobs. They were softening, but only because my voice was fading and my chest was getting tired.

"Hey." A male voiced boomed from above me. It really wasn't that loud, but I'd been so in tune with myself that it startled me.

I didn't look up. I was too focused on honing my dry cries down and controlling myself.

"Yo. What's wrong? All you cheerleaders are crying and stuff. It's kind of depressing." I finally recognized the voice to belong to Puckerman. "I figured since we screw around and stuff and you're crying that I have some sort of obligation to kick someone's ass."

I couldn't determine the sincerity of his concern. _Did he really feel obligated, or did he care? _

"Santana." He said my name.

When I didn't answer he crouched in front of me. I could see his blurred figure through my tear filled lashes.

"I'm not good at this stuff. And I don't like people seeing I care, but seriously if you need me to kick someone's ass I'll do it. Or I can just get someone to help. Like Brittany or Quinn. Or maybe like Tina."

I felt my head nod _yes, _but I didn't mean for it too.

He let out a short, relieved sigh, and stood up. "Okay. Will do. You stay put." He said and his footsteps sped away.

I started to seriously try and catch my breath. I didn't want whoever Puck found to have to _take care of me. _I'm a big girl. And I really didn't want Brittany to have to take care of me again, no matter how much I wanted her to sit by me so I can rest my head on her lap.

"Santana?" A female voice stood above me. I looked from the ground and stopped at a pair of brown loafers that stood in front of me. "Are you alright?" I craned my neck up and made eye contact with Rachel.

Her presence caused my sobs to instantly weaken. It reminded me of what happens when someone scares the hiccups out of you.

"I heard about Sue and the _Cheerios. _You should know that you have a lot going for you. While it goes completely against my plot to foil you're reputation and exact revenge on you to say this, but…you do have talents that lie elsewhere. Glee is a perfect example."

"Please just leave me alone." I grumbled. I had intended to say _leave me alone halfling, _but at the last second decided to use the word please and exclude the insult.

"I'll save you and Britt a seat in Glee rehearsal if you're late." She gave me a simple nod and paced away.

As soon as she was out of earshot, my cries started up again. To muffle the sound I buried my face in my palms and tried to hold my breath. But each time I took a gasp for air, the noise was loud and staggering.

Fewer footsteps were walking past me, which meant class would start soon. As soon as it did, a teacher would stroll through the halls, catch me, and I'd be sent to Ms. Pillsbury's office. I didn't want that. I didn't want to _talk _about my feelings or explain my crying. So I need to fix myself. I need to get everything under control and go to Glee.

"I knew this would happen." I recognized Quinn's voice immediately. Out of all the people who had just recently approached me, Mr. Shue, Puck, Rachel, I've had the most conversations with her and spent the most time around her.

I looked up. Again my eyes were drawn to her outfit. A salmon colored cardigan and a pink summer dress. I was going to end up like her. Wearing _real _clothes to school, and being judged as someone other than a _Cheerio._

"You knew what would happen?" I sounded nasally, exactly like someone who has been crying for too long should sound.

"This. You. Don't take this the wrong way Santana, but head cheerleader is a lot more pressure than people give it credit for. Not many girls can handle it." Quinn shifted her weight.

I would have taken that as an insult, but it was true. Its proof was plastered all over my face, on my tear swollen eyelids, and in my croaky voice. "Yeah." I tried to make the agreement sound sarcastic, but I think I failed.

"Yeah, well think of the positives. You won't be shunned like I was. Your reputation won't suffer nearly as bad as mine did." She shrugged.

"It will once everyone finds out that Sue blames me." I whispered. "For this." I waved my hand when I said _this _so as to encompass the situation_. _

Quinn didn't respond right away. She knew how Sue was. She knew that even though her accusation was private right now, it would quickly become public. And she knew that if Sue even remotely hinted at me being the cause of the _Cheerios _downfall then my life at McKinley High was going to be ruined.

"Why'd she blame you?" Quinn asked.

I didn't have an answer. Nobody has asked _why. _The entire time I've been too focused on fixing it, that I didn't even consider the source. _Was there even a source? _There had to be.

"You know," Quinn pursed her lips. "I had planned on stealing my spot back next year, but I guess that's out of the question if _Cheerios _is through. To be honest I was a little worried about having to fight you for the spot." If I didn't know Quinn, then I would have considered her comment to be her way of teasing me and lighten the situation. But Quinn wasn't teasing, she wasn't over exaggerating. I know she'll stop at nothing to regain her place on top as soon as she has the opportunity.

But I still took the comment as a kind gesture. I responded with a short, breathy laugh. It felt invasive in my throat. Like it didn't belong.

"Here." Quinn said and reached her hand down toward me. "You need to get to class. Puck kept going on and on about a song he's singing today. I'm sure it'll be fun to watch."

I hesitantly grabbed her hand, and used her strength to hoist myself up. My legs felt like Jello. I hadn't been sitting that long, but it still felt like I needed the support of the floor to keep me from going off the deep end. It felt like I was standing on top of a roof, when I should be sitting.

Puck is always fun to watch in Glee, even though he's a tool. But that's what made him fun to watch. The fact that he didn't fit the mold of a Glee nerd, but still seemed to be so natural and talented.

_Puck must have gotten Quinn to help me. _It made sense. He was her baby's daddy and all. You know, I should be jealous about that. But I'm not. I don't know why I don't want to destroy Quinn, but I just don't.

We both started down the hall and Quinn softly placed her hand in between my shoulder blades. She was leading towards the choir room.

_Holy Shit! _She knows. _Why didn't I remember till now? _I've been avoiding her for the past few days, because Brittany let her read that letter. My meltdown must have pushed that thought from my mind. It wasn't until I had calmed down that I remembered Quinn was public enemy number one.

But stay calm. I need to keep my cool. If I freak out right now, she'll either question me, or she'll find Brittany. Bringing Brittany into the middle of this would be the worst possible thing. It would bring everyone's knowledge to the forefront. Like someone pointing at the giant bi-curious/bi-in-love/gay elephant in the room.

"Hey Brittany." Quinn said as we rounded the corner.

Brittany was sitting outside the choir room door.

_Shit. _

"Hello." Brittany's voice was weedy and deflated. "They're about to start." Brittany stood up from the floor. Her crooked and sloppy ponytail bounced on her head. She looked so disheveled. Her uniform was still backwards, her hair was messy, she wasn't wearing makeup, and she was missing that distinguishing giddiness. She looked like she just watched someone run over a squirrel.

"I gotta head to the library to finish up something." Quinn stepped away from us. "For class."

"You're not going?" Brittany frowned even more, if that was possible.

"I can't." Quinn averted her eye contact.

I knew she was avoiding the club, I just wasn't sure why. And I'd ask, but right now I would lack sincerity and believability. Sad people shouldn't inquire others about their problems. It only causes more problems.

Quinn smiled, turned and walked down the hall.

When Quinn turned the corner the Brittany and me stepped into the choir room. Class was already starting. Finn stood in front of everyone wearing 90's gangster clothing.

Two empty seats were in the front row, right by Rachel. She smiled, but I could only return half of a smile. I felt weird accepting her generosity. I haven't liked Rachel since I cut her pigtail off in grade school, so I wasn't about to change my opinions of her because she saved me a couple of seats.

"Mr. Shue," Finn said as Britt and I walked in front of him. "Puck and I would like to show the class the true meaning of funk with a little help from our special guest, Mercedes." Finn finished and Brittany and I took a seat next to Rachel.

Everyone clapped, and even I attempted a lame applause at the mention of Mercedes.

Rachel leaned in and whispered to me. "I'm glad that Quinn and Brittany got you to come." She smiled triumphantly and leaned back.

Brittany leaned over me and towards Rachel. "Don't start rumors about Quinn. It's just me." Brittany leaned back.

Rachel furrowed her brown and I felt my eyes widen. I couldn't tell exactly what Brittany meant by that comment, but I had a pretty good idea. I knew she was clever, unique, witty, but she always said things like this during times where the interpretation could go so many different directions. Thankfully Rachel seemed to interpret it as another one of Brittany's _outlandish_ comments.

Puck stood next to Finn with his hand pressed against his hips. He to was wearing out-of-date 90's clothes. I hadn't even noticed his dated black coat when he approached me in the hallway. "Fasten your seat belts. It's gonna be a funky ride." He announced.

The drummer started and the music eased its way along. Puck started rapping. Normally I would be all over this. Intrigued. But I was burnt out. Emotionless. I stole a glance at Brittany to see that she sported a matching empty look on her face.

But as Puck continued to rap, as Finn joined in, and as Mercedes belted out the chorus to Marky Mark's song Good Vibrations, I started to regain my usual thrill. The cheesy dance moves, the funky clothes, the beat to the music, it all pushed away the fears that had so recently overwhelmed me. It reminded me that Glee Club was where I didn't need to fit in, because nobody else did.

I laughed and clapped along, because their choreography was amazing and awful at the same time. Even Brittany was starting to have fun.

By the end of the song, a smile was beaming across my face. Quinn was right when she said that this would be fun to watch. Too bad she had to miss it.

As we all clapped, Mr. Shue rounded the piano. "Alright. Good job guys, but that's not funk." My face sunk and a glower replaced the glowing smile. "I mean, the group is called Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch but that is a rap song."

Puck defended himself. "A kick-butt, old-school rap song."

Brittany and me laughed at his comment.

"Does it really matter Mr. Shue?" Artie spoke over our laughter. "We're so clinically depressed we're doing the wrong songs." He shrugged. "We're in a deeper funk than ever."

Everyone took a moment to mull the thought over.

"But you guys are getting closer." Mr. Shue didn't back down. "We're having fun. We're boosting our spirits. Funk is all about getting our groove back and I say we're well on our way."

"Mr. Shue." Tina raised her hand. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news but Artie and I _googled_ 'funk' on the school library. It said it the word was derived from the term stank."

"I told you Rachel." Puck spoke to the brunette sitting in the seat next to me. "Shouldn't have brushed off my original comment about _fromunda _cheese." He shuffled and crossed his arms.

"We stank." Artie droned.

"Guys." Mr. Shue cut in the middle. "That's enough. You need to stop getting down on yourselves. Blame, hesitation, uncertainty. This is exactly the mindset that Vocal Adrenaline wants us to have." He paused to strategize his next sentence. "Mercedes, tell me something worthwhile you did this weekend. Something fun."

My heart skipped at this. He better not ask me. The only thing I can remember from the weekend is being on top of Brittany.

"Uh, well." She narrowed her eyes in order to think. "Me and Kurt went to the pound and looked at dogs."

"Uhm…good." Mr. Shue nodded. "We're getting there. Anyone el-"

"What kind of dogs?" Brittany interrupted. "Muts?"

"Some of them. A few labs." Mercedes shrugged, not sure that she answered the question properly.

Kurt spoke up. "I'm deciding to adopt a Bishon Frise as soon as I find the perfect match." He smiled and folded his hands across his lap.

"You're adopting a drink from Starbucks?" Brittany raised an eyebrow.

I let out a hushed and short laugh at her comment. Again, more proof that Brittany is unique in her thoughts.

Mr. Shue paused for a second, but decided not to linger on the comment. "Good Kurt. That's good. Anyone else do anything this weekend?"

"I bought a tuxedo man thong. It was meant as a joke, but a lot of the cougars like that kind of stuff." Puck said. "Just trying to help."

It was my turn to speak up. "Why are those words even in the same sentence?" I snipped back at him.

"Now I think we're getting off track." Mr. Shue once again stepped in. "I'm going to let you guys head to the library. I want you to look up anything you can find on funk. Find a song that we can perform. Look up the history." He looked around the room and made brief eye contact with everyone. "Remember that funk is about letting loose. Getting into a groove. Feeling good."

Everyone stood up from their seats, and just like I've been programmed, I reached for Brittany's pinkie. Mid-reach I worried that she might have forgotten, that I would reach out and she wouldn't expect it. That I'd make a fool out of myself. But her pinkie caught mine.

XXXxxxXXXxx

_Saturday_

No less than five hours after my public break down in the halls of McKinley high was Sue Sylvester yelling at me through her bull horn. I'm not sure why, how, who changed her mind, but she was back. She was back and we were on our way back from Nationals with yet another first place trophy.

I couldn't believe it. I didn't understand how things changed so quickly. One second I was planning on how to survive the next three years of high school at the bottom of the food chain, and now I'm gloating on the bus ride home and easily the most popular girl in school.

We had won. I had won.

And the strangest thing, winning wasn't the best part. The best part was when we were celebrating and I jumped into Brittany's arms. At that moment I let go of everything, took a leap, wrapped my arms around her neck and wrapped my legs around her waist. The hug was shorter than I wanted, but it still made everything seem so much more glorious.

To anyone who had seen the hug-the fans in the crowd, the camera crew skittering about, the viewers at home on their couch-the hug looked like two girls celebrating. But there was more to it. Brittany pressed her finger tips into the skin of my spine. I pinched her hard with my thighs; I pushed my nose into her neck. Her skin was smelled a little salty, but still like her perfume. The smell reminded me of how the crook of her neck tasted.

But as quickly as I had jumped into her arms, I jumped back out. And we continued to jump like lunatics, like we had just won a million dollars. But we had won so much more. _I_ had won so much more. Sue's approval, the team's approval, and the knowledge that I can lead a team to win at Nationals.

On the way back to Lima we took the same Charter bus we had taken to the competition. It was one of those buses with expensive seats, cup holders that held a cup larger than the medium size you get at a gas station, bathrooms in the back, and the option to recline at least fifteen degrees.

Brittany and I sat by each other. Of course. We always sat by each other whether it be in class, when we hung out with groups of friends, or on bus rides. Naturally, people saved two seats for us. It's common knowledge that we're a package deal.

The girls on the bus were gabbing like geese. Everybody was so animated. They talked too loud. They wore permanent smiles. Genuine smiles, unlike the smiles we're forced to wear during the routines. And their hand gestures were far too big. I can't remember the last time we were this excited. But I'm sure all of this pent up enthusiasm has to do with Sue's last minute return and our sweeping victory. It's because we went from such a low, to an extreme high in less than a couple of days.

I was just as excited as everyone else, but my high wasn't as high, my smile wasn't as giggly, and the tone in my voice was ever so slightly weighted.

Sue's momentary hiatus had caused a team-wide depression that stirred a lot of emotions in all of us. But the instant Sue called us back for practice, all of those feelings of loss and alienation evaporated. We all had our home back, our future, and we had our reputation back.

But that feeling of estrangement and defeat that overwhelmed me as I sobbed in the hallways of the high school raised and stirred other fears. I'm once again head cheerleader, but insecurities are still silently stewing. They're dormant, subtly below the surface, but they're still there. That feeling of helplessness is still there. _What if it happened again, and I couldn't control my emotions?_

I quickly recited bits and pieces of Brittany's letter. It had somehow turned into a calming mechanism for me. Instead of counting to ten, I just tried to remember what she had written.

"Alright ladies!" Sue yelled through her megaphone from the front of the bus. "I knew I would win and you aren't completely worthless. To celebrate we're going to my favorite restaurant. It's a little tradition of mine. Every time I win a trophy the gentle spacemen at _Pizza in Space _treat me to an all you can eat buffet of cheesy deliciousness. All of you know this of course." Her megaphone squealed as she turned it off and sat in the front seat.

On the ride there I made small talk with Brittany, mostly about Glee club. We even pulled out my iPod, shared the ear buds, and searched for Funk songs. The search was cut short only after a few minutes when we came across a Justin Timberlake song and she started to beat box along with it. Number sixteen on her list of extraordinary, but unfortunately useless talents.

The bus pulled into the parking lot of _Pizza in Space. _No matter how childish this place is, or how cheesy, I always looked forward to it. It was probably because Brittany liked it so much. There's just something so unique about eating pizza and being surrounded by _childish_ look spaceships.

Britt and me were the first off of the bus. While the other girls fumbled through their bags, we had already prepared for a quick escape. Halfway between cheer Nationals and _Pizza in Space, _I had come to the conclusion that my bladder was going to explode.

We darted through the front doors, through the customers and stopped short behind a line of women outside the restrooms. On the opposite side of the narrow hallway was the men's restroom. Above the door was a cartoonish rocket with cursive letters below it that said, _mankind. _I groaned and rolled my eyes at the stupid name. It was now becoming an epidemic to name bathrooms after stupid things. I looked above the women's door. It just said _womankind. _

"That's clever." I grumbled.

"We can use that one." Brittany tapped my shoulder and pointed towards a door with a blue handicap and family restroom sticker above it. It was tucked away towards the kitchen, and only customers who come here on regular basis would know about it. "Artie's not here."

I nodded and both of us darted around the corner, away from the impatient line of women, and ducked into the single toilet bathroom. I made sure I shut the door before I flicked on the lights.

"Quick," I shuffled. "Pee like a cheetah before I wet myself." I locked the door.

"I don't have to pee." Brittany admitted.

"What?" So I ran for the toilet and pulled down my spankies. "Then why'd you run like you did?" The second I was on the toilet it felt a balloon was deflating inside my stomach.

"I always run like that." Brittany straight-faced.

"No you don't." I tried to laugh, but was too consumed by the relief of my bladder.

"Fine. Because you were running like that."

I raised an eyebrow at her, but paid no more attention to the topic. Instead I studied the bathroom. The walls were sea foam green. Not the color of a forest, but the color of a forest that has been sitting in the sun for too long and the leaves were all bleached and faded. Everything else was white. The sink, the counter that the sink was on, the mirror above the sink, and the door.

The weirdest part was that the entire ceiling was made up of fluorescent lights. The same exact lights in the ceilings at school. The casings were plastic with honeycomb dimples. It made the bathroom way too bright, and oddly enough made it look like a room on a real spaceship.

Brittany flicked on the faucet for me as I walked across the bathroom and approached the sink. She tightened her pony, I washed my hands. And as I did so, I took my time. Not that I don't enjoy gloating and bossing around the other girls, but I've grown to cherish my alone time with Brittany no matter how frequent it is.

With my head down and focused on cleaning my hands, the corner of my eye caught her legs. The flaps on her _Cheerios _skirt covered up the majority of her upper thighs, but that only made me search harder. I impatiently waited for the unequally timed twists she would do while she fixed her hair. Each time she would shift the slits would move and briefly reveal more of her skin. It was like waiting for toast to pop out of the toaster. Each time she moved I would internally jump.

An overwhelming urge to touch her surged from my fingertips, thudded through my chest, fluttered through my stomach and clenched at my center. It was so unexpected that it caused my breath to hitch.

More than anything I wanted to touch the parts of her thighs that kept teasing me. I wanted to shove my fingers inside of her. Every inch of my body is screaming to touch her. But I can't just push her against a wall and touch what I want. If at all possible, I have to go about this with at least a little grace.

I'm not sure why this urge came on so swiftly and unexpectedly. All I did was look at her legs, which is something I do all the time. I've seen her in her _Cheerios _skirt almost every day. _What's so different about right now? _I guess it typically doesn't take a whole lot to get me in the mood, but if the sight of Brittany not even doing anything sexual is enough to turn me on, I'm going to have to get my urges under control.

She was still fixing her pony. The back of the bus seat had scrunched it up. I turned the water off and moved so I was standing behind her. She was taller so I wouldn't be able to reach all of her fly away hair pieces, but that's not really what I'm concerned with right now. Still, I moved slyly figuring it was the best way to go about seducing her.

My hands reached for her ponytail, and I bumped her fingers away from her hair with my knuckles. She let her hands fall to her side and let her shoulders sag. I could tell that she hadn't yet picked up on my intentions. In her mind, I was just helping fix her hair. In my mind, I was using this as an excuse to start touching at least some part of her.

I took my nails and scratched from the back of her neck, through her hair, and stopped at the hair band that held her hair up in a perky ponytail. I did it the first time to straighten out a couple scraggly pieces of blonde, but I did it the second and the third and the fourth and the fifth time, because I could tell she liked it. Her signs were faint. She softly pushed her head against my nails, she straightened her back, and I occasionally checked over her shoulder and saw her staring at me in the mirror. She wasn't staring at her hair…her eyes were following each movement I made behind her. That's when I knew I could make another slight advance.

I put my hands on top of her shoulders and started to rub my thumbs into the back of her neck. Her muscles were tight, and I felt knots roll underneath the skin. She was tense and strained, which made sense. Since Sue had skipped a couple of days, when she did return our usual intense practices were spiced up even more so.

Brittany's skin was warm. _Was it her, or are my hands just sensitive?_ My thumbs nicked the collar of her cheer top. I wanted to unzip it and take it off. My massage stopped for a second, but quickly restarted. I couldn't take her top off in here. Undressing is something we should save for private, not public places. Besides, I kind of like sneaking around her clothes.

If it were up to me, I'd move slowly like I did last time. But I couldn't. I needed to do this quick before someone knocked on the door, or before someone noticed we had been missing for too long. It made me thankful that Quinn wasn't here. When the three of us were all _Cheerios _we didn't stray far from each other. And now, especially after that _letter, _any extended amount of time that Brittany and I were alone would look a little suspicious in Quinn's eyes.

I slid my fingers down her back, down her butt, and stopped at the bottom of her skirt. I grabbed the bottom of it and held the fabric gently in my hand. It was soft. I guess I'd never really paid attention to it, to how it felt. My thumb was making circles over the material in my hands, identical to the circles I had kneaded into her neck.

"Santana?" The way she said my name sounded deafening in the silence. It echoed off of the acoustics of the walls and ricocheted off of my eardrum. I had been zoning out. I'm not really sure how long I had been fiddling with her skirt, but it was long enough for her to say something.

I peaked over her shoulder and looked at her in the mirror. I saw her still watching me. I saw myself standing behind her. She was slightly taller. She was lighter. Our contrast was startling.

"Hm?" I scooted closer to her, pressed my chest against her back, and reached my arms around her to put my palms on each of her thighs.

I used my hands to rub up and down her body from the middle of her thighs, up to her hips, and then back down. As I did this, I looked over her shoulder and focused on my hands. I noticed her eyes were glued to the reflection of my hands too. Both of us were intently gawking at my growing affection.

I slipped my hands up the front of her skirt and slid them to the waistband of her _spankies_. My fingers hooked under the hem by her hips. I kept my chest pressed against her back, I squatted, and at the same I time I pulled her spankies down with me. When I reached her knees I stopped, left the red underwear there and stood back up.

This time I didn't find her eyes. I was too focused on my hands. I wanted to see what I did to her. I wanted to watch myself touch her.

Again I ran my hands up her thighs and towards her center. But this time there was nothing in between me and her pleasure. I stopped my right hand and cupped it on the inside of her thigh. But I kept advancing my other hand. I grazed over her bare skin and traced the line where her leg met her body.

The closer I got, the warmer she was. Her skirt fell over my hand and covered her. In the mirror I saw my hand suddenly hidden by the pleats in her skirt. Frantically I grabbed the bottom of her skirt with my other hand and held it up near her waist.

Now that I could see what I was doing again I touched her. My middle finger and ring finger slipped between her lips and pushed against her mound. It was soft and swollen.

She flinched at my pressure and her back pressed closer to me. I shifted my feet. I stepped even closer and I lifted the front of her skirt even higher. To keep it pinned up I had to hug it in between her stomach and my right forearm.

Then I started small circles. I watched as my fingers circled between her lips. Occasionally they would slip out. Both the angle and her increasing wetness was a bit of a challenge.

I stopped the circles without notice and slid my two fingers down from her clit, through her folds, until I reached her entrance. I slid back up. Back down. I moved slowly. I wanted to see what it looked like to touch all of her.

As I rubbed her, her hand moved back and latched onto a fistful of my own skirt. Her other hand rested against the sink in front of us.

I slid up. Slid down. Slid up. And on my way back down I entered her. My fingers slipped inside with some resistance. She clenched at my unexpected plunge. I kept my palm pushed up against her front, and held my fingers motionless inside of her until she stopped shuddering.

She was even warmer on the inside. "Ready Britt?" I whispered into the back of her neck.

I pulled my eyes up from the reflection of my hand and watched her nod in the mirror. But she didn't look up at me. She was still intently focused on my hand. No doubt she finds this just as exciting as I do. Of course she wants to watch my hand. _When else can she see this?_ _When else can she see what it looks like for me to finger her?_

"Turn the water on." I whispered again. The thought of someone _hearing _this hadn't crossed my mind until now. I'm pretty sure that pleasurable noises coming from the family bathroom, where two girls just entered, would raise some attention. I don't want attention. I just want to get her off. That's all.

She listened. She reached the hand she had grasped around my skirt and flicked on the faucet. Instead of reaching back for my skirt though, she just kept her hand on the sink's counter right next to her other hand.

The whishing of the water was perfect. It blocked out noises from outside the bathroom and kept my ears paying attention to the splashing noise within the sink instead of passing footsteps.

I curled my middle finger inside her and pressed against something swollen. Her entire body jolted and she jerked against me. So I did it again. I started to pet with my fingertip and she started to let out hushed and whined moans.

_Too loud. _

I stopped. I couldn't touch there right now. I'll have to remember that spot for later. I pulled my fingers out of her. They were soaked. Sticky. Warm. I slid back up to her clit and started the circular motion again.

I could tell that she wanted me to go back inside. "Sorry." I apologized for teasing her. I hadn't meant to start something that I couldn't finish.

"It's o-okay." She stuttered over my motions. "This is good." I made a point to look at her again. She was biting her lip and her eyes were still locked onto my hand.

I moved faster. The muscles in my hand tightened and flexed. My increased speed had turned the circles into a feverish grind from left to right. I held my breath to go even faster. I didn't think it was possible, but her clit swelled even more.

I stole another glance at her face. Her mouth was halfway open, her eyes were closed, and she was stifling her gasps. The look on her face was exposed and erotic. It looked pained, but I knew it wasn't. It was almost like the pleasure was so intense that she needed all of her emotions to express herself.

When I'd done this too her before, I'd never really watched her reaction. I regret that. Watching her face right now was the sexiest thing I have ever seen. It was so raw and uncontrolled.

Her back slightly arched and her shoulders knocked back against my jaw. A groan croaked through her body, but she quickly hushed it. I slowed my rubbing and returned to large gently circles. And as she muted her pleasure I could feel her abs tighten under the arm I was using to hold up her skirt.

I stopped the circles but kept my fingers pressed against her. She came back down and I watched her every facial expression in the mirror. I was memorized. I wanted to do it to her again. I wanted to watch her face again. But we had to go. It'd been at least five minutes and that's almost too long.

The water was still running. I took my hand back, stepped around her and held my hand under the streaming flow. While I washed my hands, she shuffled around and wiggled her spankies back up.

"Now I can say that I've gotten probed on a spaceship." Brittany smiled.

"I'm so glad you didn't say that just a few seconds ago. Aliens aren't hot." I said. The comment would have been a little bit of a mood killer.

"Yeah I know. You're hot though."


	20. If She Does, So Do I

**A/N: Hey everyone. I hope you're all still reading! This chapter was super fun to write. Even more so than the last one! I actually didn't use any lines from canon-But I promise it still fits perfectly. I just wanted to do something a little bit more original and creative. Hope you like it. Let me know. Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 20 - If She Does, So Do I**

I flipped open the camera and waited for it to turn on. A miniature sized sandglass turned over and over in the middle of the black screen. As it loaded, I listened to Brittany slam plastic bowls, pans, utensils, and random ingredients on the counter.

"You seriously have to make a cooking show?" I groaned at the thought. "I mean, when you asked me to come over and help you film stuff I thought you had something else in mind." A smirk crawled up my lips at the _suggestion. _

"Yes Santana." Brittany answered. I looked up from the _Flip_ video camera in my hands and examined the blonde. She looked flustered and confused. "I need to do this for extra credit so I can pass Home Ec."

Brittany pressed all ten fingers against her scalp as if she was trying to keep any further thoughts from escaping.

"What are you looking for?" I set the camera on the island counter in front of me. Actually it really wasn't an island countertop, because it wasn't in the middle. Instead it hugged the property line in between the kitchen and the living room. Where most houses had a wall that separated the two rooms, Brittany's house had a counter.

I was sitting on one of the three swiveling bar stools that outlined the counter. She said it was perfect, that her kitchen was the best place for a cooking show, because it was spacious and allowed her to walk around while I sat across the counter and filmed. We could get the fridge, the sink, and the counter she cooked on all in one shot.

"The camera." She spun around and searched every surface within the kitchen. "I can't find the camera."

Instead of telling her right away I just watched. It wasn't like I was trying to tease her or be mean. It's just that sometimes when I'm around Brittany I lose my train of thought. She was wearing plaid green and white short shorts, tall black stockings, a loose hanging grey sweater that hung off of her shoulder, and a neon green headband.

I caught a glimpse of the panic on her face and quickly remembered that I had the camera. "Its right here Britt." I picked it up for her to see.

She stopped and smiled. "Okay. Good." A sigh of relief echoed from her body. "How do I look?"

Once again I examined her outfit. This time I noticed her ponytail was slightly crooked. "Kind of like you're about to gets your jazzercise on."

She flexed her arms and both of us giggled.

"No." I held my giggles. "You look totally hot. Richard Simmons can't touch this."

She smiled and I even saw the faint red hue of a blush creep through her cheeks. It was insanely adorable. So adorable that even I rolled my eyes at how adorable I thought it was.

"Okay." I picked up the camera and pointed it towards her. In the frame her body took up about half of the screen and the rest was consumed by the counter in between us and the fridge behind her. "Before we start I'm just double checking again and making sure that _this _is what you want to use the camera for."

Brittany pinched her eyebrows together and frowned. "Santana. This is serious. Yes. I need you to film me doing my cooking show." She held her breath and quickly sputtered out the following two words. "For now…"

Now it was my turn to blush. The thought of filming anything we did set my entire body on fire. It reminded me of our recent _session_ in the bathroom of _Pizza in Space. _Watching her in the mirror was the most intoxicating and erotic thing I have ever witnessed. I can only imagine what filming would do...

_**Record.**_

"Hi. My name is Brittany S. Pierce and this is my cooking show called _Cheerios in the Kitchen, _though today I will be the only _Cheerio _on film_. _Santana is behind the camera. Later on we will have two special guests. Mercedes Jones and Rachel Berry." I zoomed in on her just a little. "To start out we will be looking at the ingredients for Ladyfingers."

_How could I pass up this golden opportunity?_

"Yeah she does." I jumped in. I couldn't help it. I didn't actually think Brittany would choose that recipe when I gave her the list, but in the rare case she did I was ready with some cheesy second-hand remark. Not only that, but I thought we had decided on making something else.

"Santana." Brittany pouted. "Pause."

"I can't pause…" I pulled the camera away from her and started filming the marble countertop. "Where's pause? You can only stop**.**"

_**Stop.**_

"Sorry." I apologized before she scolded me. I knew I was being childish and making this way harder than needs be. "Besides, I thought you didn't have the ingredients for that?" I recalled our failed attempt to find the ever so elusive cinnamon.

"Oh right. I forgot. What are we doing again?" Brittany scanned the countertop and answered her question before I could. "Chicken pot pie. Got it. I think I just got stage fright."

"Ready?" I asked.

"Do I start over?" Brittany scooted back to her original starting point, the center of the kitchen.

"No. Uh." I held the camera in front of my face and focused on her. "Start by saying what you're cooking. We can just edit later."

"Got it."

_**Record.**_

"Today I will be cooking chicken pot pie." Brittany stepped forward and picked up a white styrofoam cup with the label, _Cup of Noodles, _branded in red across the face. "We start with broth."

She carried the _Cup of Noodles _over to the sink and peeled off the lid. "You want to fill it up to the pre-marked fill line." She flicked the faucet on and started to fill the cup in her hands. "Wait. Where's the fill line?"

_**Stop.**_

"Santana, you're going to flood it." Brittany watched eagerly as I held the styrofoam _Cup of Noodles _under the faucet. She had reluctantly handed me the cup when I set the camera down, walked toward her, and told her that I could get it.

"I'm not going to flood it." I squinted to clarify the faint indent that signified the fill line.

But I was too focused on finding the line that I forgot the water was still running. The top of the water zoomed right past the fill line and began gushing over the edge. I yanked the cup away from the downstream, but it was too late.

"It flooded. It's ruined." Brittany said expressionless.

"It's not ruined. I just gotta pour some of this stuff out." I tilted the cup and ever so gently began draining the excess liquid into the sink.

"Careful you're gonna pour out the herbs."

"I am being careful." I responded as I bit my lip to concentrate.

_**Record.**_

"Okay, while our broth heats up I'm going to prepare the crust. It's simple." She pulled out a pre-formed pie crust that sat in a metal pan. "You buy this at Fred Meyer. Or Safeway. Whichever. They're like two dollars." Brittany held the crust up for the camera.

"Free if you steal them." I said from behind the camera.

"Santana!" She pouted again.

"I mean borrow. Of course we'll let Fred Meyers eat some of our chicken pot pie. It's not stealing if you share."

_**Stop.**_

_**Record.**_

"Okay the key to doing this right is to drain the broth carefully." Brittany held a plate over the majority of the _Cup of Noodles _top and started to drain the broth into the sink. "Just pour slowly. And don't burn yourself."

"Wait. Britt." I suddenly realized what she was doing. "We need the broth. You're pouring it down the sink."

"Crap."

_**Stop.**_

"Well it's not my fault." She kept her arms folded over her chest as I filled yet another cup of noodles with water up to the fill line. "At least this time you won't ruin it and flood all the herbs out."

"I didn't flood herbs. And I didn't say it was your fault. I didn't say anything." I kept my tone even, knowing that she was already a little frustrated. Sometimes Brittany gets a little touchy and impatient when it comes to passing her classes. As impatient as someone as sweet as her can be.

"Sorry." Brittany whispered.

"Don't be." I smiled and pulled the perfectly filled _Cup of Noodles _out from under the faucet.

_**Record.**_

"So to save time I decided to heat the vegetables and broth at the same time." Brittany held up a bag of frozen vegetables. "All you gotta do is poke holes in this and put it in the microwave for four minutes…ish." Brittany walked toward the microwave. "Now I already poked holes, so I'm just gonna set this next to the broth and press start." She set the vegetables in the microwave, shut the door, and pushed the start button.

She turned back and walked toward the camera. "Now while that cooks I'm going to give you a little insight into my life. So, as a child my grandparents lived in Italy. During the summer my parents would fly me, first class, to the city of love and I would spend a few weeks down there. Every night my grandma would call me into the kitchen and we'd make delicious meals, one of which I'm cooking at the moment." I laughed, but quickly halted it. I didn't want her to get flustered and have to film this again. "They would give me cheese and pasta and I didn't know what it was, but I would mix it all together."

I couldn't help it. "Britt." I said, a huge grin sucking my face. "That's not even true."

"So," she shrugged. "I bet the crap they say on the cooking channel isn't true."

_**Stop.**_

"Should I use these whole or cut 'em up?" Brittany asked me.

"Do you normally cut up your chicken nuggets?"

"No." She looked up from the purple and white box of _McNuggets_.

"Well, then no. Leave them whole." I said. It seemed logical.

_**Record.**_

"Normally I would suggest using Dinosaur chicken nuggets in this scenario, but I ran out yesterday. Also, Santana said that she refused to eat the chicken pot pie if I use them, because last time there was a chicken tooth in our batch of Dino-nuggets." Brittany looked over the camera and glared at me. "So what we'll do is pour everything into this pie crust."

She poured the microwaved vegetables first. Peas, square carrots, and green beans tumbled from the steaming bag and fell into the crusted pan. She then reached for the five remaining chicken nuggets, since we had shared one in between takes, and placed them evenly throughout the vegetables.

"Now the broth." Brittany poured the _Cup of Noodle _broth over everything. "Not too much, because we don't want vegies to drown. We just want enough so it won't taste all dry."

She set the half empty _Cup of Noodle_ broth back onto the counter. "We'll put a lid on this pie and it'll be ready to go." She picked up the doughy pie top and laid it over the pot pie. "Perfect." She smiled with accomplishment.

_**Stop.**_

"But my parents said not to use the oven. Can we just microwave it?" She asked me and glanced at the microwave.

"That won't cook it. I don't think. And plus, you're not supposed to put metal in the microwave." I tapped the metal pan that held the chicken pot pie.

"Right." She looked defeated. Like we had climbed an entire mountain only to find out we had to climb back down because the summit was closed.

"Use a lighter. Just like, burn the top…I mean everything else inside is cooked." I said this with confidence, but felt the hesitation hide between each word.

_**Record.**_

"Since my parents won't let me use the oven. We're just gonna lightly toast the top layer of the crust. Make sure you use one of those lighters with a handle and a long nozzle." She held up a lighter with a three inch nozzle and a trigger to start the flame. "And-," She paused. "Roast." She clicked the trigger at the same time she said _roast. _Nothing happened. "I think it's out of gas."

"Butane." I corrected.

_**Stop.**_

_**Record.**_

"So we weren't able to toast the top layer, but at home you can do that. Besides the top crust is gross. I only like the bottom."

Brittany pushed the top layer of dough off of the chicken pot pie with a fork and stabbed a few floating vegetables and a chicken nugget. She spun the fork above the pie, let it drip dry, blew on it to cool it, and took a bite. As she chewed, she looked a little surprised, almost like she had expected it to taste awful.

She swallowed. "It's delicious." Her words were thick and cheesy, exactly like the hosts on the _Food Network. _"But it could be really unhealthy for you."

_**Stop.**_

"Is it really delicious?" I was curious. I stood up and walked around the counter to her side.

"Yeah. It has all the stuff we like." She stabbed a few more vegetables and shoved them in her mouth.

I grabbed the fork and dug into the pie. Like I was brewing a cauldron I swirled everything around for a second, before I finally manned up and took a bite. I didn't want to hurt Brittany's feelings by not eating something she made, and I didn't want to look stupid by not eating something I had told her to make. And besides, chances are…it's probably not that bad. Me and her tend to like the same things and if she likes it, maybe I'll like it.

W_hat's the worst that can happen?_

I chewed on a slightly soggy chicken nugget and three green beans… "Hm." I continued to chew. "Not too bad." I was a tad impressed. We had completely pulled this recipe out of our asses.

_Ding Dong. _

"They're here." Brittany skipped away and towards her front door.

_**Record.**_

"Hello again. This is Brittany here with Rachel Berry and Mercedes Jones. Normally I wouldn't invite Rachel over, but everyone else is busy and I need two special guests…that aren't Santana." Brittany turned to Rachel. "No offense."

"None taken." Rachel didn't seem offended at all. "I'm actually quite honored. It's not too often veganism is put in the spotlight. I'd love to share a few recipes."

"You're not cooking anything." Brittany interrupted and spoke slowly.

"What? Why?" Rachel finally took offense.

"Cause. I'm not a vegan." Brittany pointed towards the _chicken pot pie. _"You can you eat that."

"Gross. No." Rachel looked disgusted.

"What the _hell_ is that out there?" Mercedes was standing by the window. I zoomed the camera in, out the window, and in the direction Mercedes was pointing. Rachel and Brittany scurried to the window and peeked out. "Is that your cat Britt?"

"Lord Tubbington isn't a brunette." Brittany gawked at the brown animal that scurried across the backyard.

"That isn't a cat guys." Rachel said.

"It's a woodchuck." Brittany answered with a predictable amount of Brittany-over-enthusiasm. "Awesome!"

"That's a beaver Brittany." Rachel immediately corrected her.

"They're like totally the same thing." Brittany didn't pay her any mind.

"Not exactly." Rachel gave up on the beaver and walked back to the middle of the kitchen.

"Move your dome Tarzan." I yelled at Rachel and scooted to the left in order to keep the camera focused on the animal outside.

"I really think woodchucks and beavers are the same thing. But like one lives in the south or something." Brittany justified herself. "It's like comparing raccoons and 'coons." She, along with everyone else, paused to think about that statement.

_**Stop.**_

_**Record.**_

"My name's Mercedes and I'm gonna to show you how to put together a simple fruit salad. We'll need apples, grapes, and pineapple to start." I kept center focus on Mercedes, but just to the left Brittany was dropping handfuls of sliced apples and pieces of pineapple into a large blue Tupperware bowl. Rachel was in the background rinsing off a cluster of green grapes.

Mercedes helped Brittany pile the remaining fruit into the bowl and finally Rachel walked up with her spotless grapes. "Why aren't you washing the fruit?" Rachel froze and stared at Brittany. "It has pesticides."

"It'll kill any bugs in my stomach." Brittany answered the question without even looking up.

Mercedes stopped dropping the _dirty _fruit into the bowl. "Why are there bugs in your stomach?"

"There's not...Clearly." Brittany said.

_**Stop.**_

_**Record.**_

"Alright so we're just going to finish off the fruit salad by tossing in cubes of cheese. And that's it." Mercedes smiled and she dropped a handful of cheese on top of the fruit.

Brittany grabbed over half of the cheese and shoved the cubes into her mouth. She waved at the camera, and that was my cue to shut it off.

_**Stop.**_

**XXXXxxxxXXXxxxxX**

To make things _interesting m_e and Britt shared a couch. The same couch we had been on the night I slept over awhile back. All I could think about was what I did to her that night. Ate her out. Well, if that's what you want to call it. I'm not even sure if it qualifies, because I only did it for like two minutes and afterward I turned into a pitiful panicking mess.

With sexy thoughts running through my head I was stuck in an already uncomfortable situation. Brittany said it was rude to just kick them out, so now I was being forced to make small chat with Rachel and Mercedes in the living room. They were sharing another couch across from us.

I guess Mercedes isn't that bad. I kind of like her. We have a lot in common, except she's not as intimidating as me. She doesn't smoke cigars occasionally-I've asked. She isn't a _Cheerio _anymore. And I can say with confidence that she doesn't have sexy-time with Brittany.

I scrunched up my nose and shook the thought out of my head. And then I scooted closer to Brittany.

"-So," I interrupted Rachel. I knew she had been talking about something, I'm just not sure what about. "Mercedes. Are you seeing anybody?" It was the only question that would pull my mind away from the growing, vivid, disturbing vision of _Britcedes_.

"Not since Puckerman." She shrugged. She took an awkward breath and must have remembered our cat fight during Glee rehearsal over him.

I didn't snap at her, because the only thing I remember about that day is how frustrated and confused I was about Brittany. It wasn't Puckerman that I was fighting over. I wasn't even _that _mad at Mercedes for dating him. The shoving contest between us, and the heated singing battle (The Boy is Mine) in front of the others was just a way for me to let off some steam. It was an excuse.

Everyone's eyes were on me, except for Brittany. Rachel was waiting for me to say something bitchy about the incident, and Mercedes was preparing to defend herself. Brittany…well, Brittany was eating her pot pie.

Again I scooted closer to Brittany. The outside of our legs and hips pressed together.

"This is getting cold." Brittany spoke into the awkward silence. I felt a smile fill my chest and had to fight to keep it from spreading to my face. There's no way I want the other girls knowing that I had sunk into my best friend for protection and distraction. A huge gloating smile would probably give me away…or make me look weird. "And the skin is falling off the nuggets." Brittany stated, not complained. "I'm not dating anyone. The guys at school are pretty dull. I mean they're good for like ten minutes or so, but after that it's all downhill."

Mercedes looked to me. "What about you Santana? How have you been?" Immediately I knew what she was talking about. I'm not sure how I did, but I did. Call it girl ESP, my amazing intuition, or an educated guess, but she was referring to the unspoken-event at Puckerman's party. She and Tina had witnessed a post-sex panic attack and saw me shaking, half naked, soaking wet, and speechless.

"Fine." I answered the question with as little emotion as possible. I didn't want to put a match to any memory of that night. I just wanted to forget about it, and let the coal burn out.

"You're still seeing Puckerman?" Rachel asked. "He's still with Quinn, but you guys are close right?"

At first I glared at Rachel. _Why the hell was she talking to me like we're friends? _And then I decided I needed to answer, not for her sake, but for the other two girls in the room. I have the crawling feeling the Mercedes saw something that night in the pool. As for Britt…that reason is pretty obvious given our recent _sextivities_.

"I guess. I don't know. We're not dating." _Sex isn't dating-_Brittany's words replayed through my mind-clear as day. Given that phrase, I guess I didn't answer the question fully. Rachel didn't ask if we were dating.

I peeked up at Rachel. Her eyes were drilling through me. Looking straight through me. _Shit. _She knows. She has too. I'm sitting unnaturally close to Brittany, being elusive about the _boyfriend _question, and now I'm looking at her like an idiot.

"This is totally unpleasant. I should have eaten it faster." Brittany interrupted the silence again.

My face relaxed and I forced myself to blink and look away from Rachel.

"Yeah," Mercedes cringed. "That does not look appetizing at all and I'm starving."

I was relieved that the subject was dropped.

"Eat the fruits." Brittany continued to shovel soggy pot pie into her mouth.

"I need real food. And it's getting late. That _funk _number wore me out." Mercedes stood up from the her couch.

"It was deeply satisfying to rub our talent in Vocal Adrenaline's face." Rachel followed suit and stood up with Mercedes.

"We'll see you tomorrow in Glee." Mercedes waved as her and Rachel walked toward the front door.

"Bye." Britt and I said at the same time, except Brittany's mouth was full of food.

As soon as the front door shut I fell back and slouched against the couch. The cushions sucked me in like quicksand and I closed my eyes. "That was stressful."

"Mmhmm." Brittany mumbled through a mouthful of food.

"W-well, pretending to be nice." I tried to cover up the reasoning, but Brittany already knew why I was stressed out. She had to, or she wouldn't have changed topics and broke the straining silences with her quirky statements.

But Brittany just continued to eat her food.

I lifted my hand and started scratching small circles across her back, keeping my eyes closed. I needed to keep my hands busy to keep my mind from completely running itself in circles and eventually causing it to blow chunks from dizziness.

A humming vibration shook my pocket. It was my phone. I continued to scratch Brittany's back and pulled my phone out with my free hand.

_1 New Message._

_Hey. Cum over tonite. ;)_

It was from Puckerman. I've been receiving texts like this from him for the past few weeks, despite my insistent refusing and clever excuses.

_At Britts. Can't. _– I sent the message and dropped the phone in my lap.

No more than a minute later the phone vibrated again.

_Ur always there. Bring her here._

I gaffed, snorted, and dropped the phone on my lap.

"Who's that?" Brittany asked me.

I noticed I had stopped scratching her back, so I started back up. "Puckerman. He wants me to stop by."

"Are you going to?" Her question struck me harder than I thought it would. The surface of it seemed innocent, but I could hear the concern scratching underneath that surface.

Before I answered, my phone vibrated again.

_Whats been up with u lately? _

The question caused my throat to tighten. He was noticing too. Everyone was noticing. I felt like everyone knew something I didn't. The only thing I knew was that I loved Brittany, and that I really really liked doing stuff with her. But everyone kept asking me stupid questions, kept giving me weird looks, and kept implying that they knew more than I did.

"You can. If you want." Brittany hid the depth in her question like a pro. "I'll be fine here. I've stayed home alone before."

I stopped scratching her back and leaned forward. "But I want to stay here with you tonight."

She filled her cheeks with another healthy scoop of pot pie. I knew she was using that as an excuse to give her time to formulate a response, because the food looked way too nasty. The nuggets were beginning to dissolve.

"You can just come back." She shrugged. The words were void and empathetic at the same time. "I understand."

Unconsciously I took a deep breath. _Was she telling me that she didn't want me to go, or was she telling me that I should go? _I know for a fact that she heard the hidden meanings behind the conversation with Mercedes and Rachel. She knows I've been struggling, confused.

Britt and I are similar in so many different ways, so maybe she's feeling self-conscious like I am. Maybe she wants me to go screw Puckerman and prove to everyone that me and her aren't _serious. _If I don't want people talking about me, then she probably doesn't want people talking about her. For that matter, I don't want people talking about _her. _No way in hell would that fly.

Then again…Brittany's never been one to care. She's quirky and confident. _Is it the confidence that causes nobody judge her offbeat remarks and goofiness? _I mean, not many girls can be called both absurd and sexy at the same time.

I texted Puckerman.

_On my way. You have 15mins._

"I'll come back." I stood up and shoved my phone into my jeans. "Be right back."

Leaving Brittany's house was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. I didn't understand why I was doing it, and at the same time I didn't understand why it was so difficult.

I drove to Puckerman's in silence, refused to turn the radio on, and refused to sort out my thoughts. There were too many.

For starters, _why the hell was I going over there? Since when did I answer to Puckerman's beckoning call? _He answers to me. He follows me around. He texts me. He's my little puppy. Not the other way around.

I parked outside his house and marched across the front lawn. It was just turning dusk and the porch light flicked on as I approached. The front door opened and Puckerman held it open for me as I approached.

"My mom just left for the store, so we have like an hour." Puckerman shut the door behind me.

I scanned the inside of his house. It looked exactly like it did the night of the party-the night when Brittany and I took our touches from casual to lingering, the night Brittany lost her virginity, the night I licked alcohol off of Brittany's stomach and chest in front of a crowd of cheering drunks, and the night that started all of this.

"I said fifteen minutes." I stepped in and sat on the couch.

The couch was where we usually did our business. It was the perfect spot to listen for his mom's approaching car. His room was too secluded, and we've had too many close calls back there. But here was perfect. It was impersonal and right by the front door.

He didn't say anything, but took a seat next to me. His weight sunk the cushion. It wasn't like Brittany. Nothing like Brittany. His chest was pressing against my shoulder. It was hard, firm. He leaned into my neck, expecting me to turn towards him and kiss. But I didn't. I kept looking straight forward.

"You're going to make me do all the work this time." He whispered into my ear. It was a statement, not a question.

His tongue tickled below my ear and his lips followed. A hand wrapped and cradled the other side of my neck. He was so much bigger than her. Stronger. His hands were rough, not like sandpaper, but something close to that.

_Wait. _I like it rough. _Right_?

I'll just close my eyes. That always helps.

But it didn't. It didn't change anything.

"I'm on my period." I blurted.

His tongue snapped back into his mouth and he pulled away. I opened my eyes and turned to him. He looked confused. Horny and confused. He looked like he was about to say something…Something that would piss the shit out of me.

So I dropped down to my knees and scooted until I was in front of him. I squeezed in between his now spread legs, and rested my elbows on his knees. "But we can just do other stuff." I pursed my lips.

This caught his attention and instantly turned off that questioning and drilling stare.

I ran my hands up his legs and over his jeans. As I pushed up, his jeans bunched and rolled beneath my palms. I liked Brittany's jeans better. They stuck to her legs. I could still feel her skin beneath the fabric. Puck's jeans were thick.

But that's okay. I'm not reaching for his jeans…

My fingers fiddled with the button at the top of his jeans and he leaned back. He rested one of his hands behind his head, but used the other to tuck my hair behind my ear. My jaw clenched with his touch. Just like doing it in the living room, the touch was impersonal.

I didn't need to pull his pants down to touch him. I could just unzip his zipper and slip my hand through the slit in his boxers. So I did. I grabbed him. Already hard. Figures. He's probably been like this since the second he texted me. _Did I even turn him on? _

"Do you like it?" I asked. The question slipped through my lips, before I was able to stop it. But I didn't regret it, because I wanted to know. _Did I turn him on, or was he just using me as a fix? _

"Yeah." He lifted his other hand and rested it behind his neck. His head titled back and he closed his eyes.

I needed lotion. Or something. My hands were too dry. But I didn't want to get up and prolong this any more than need be. So I started to move faster. Pump faster. And he hummed with pleasure.

But I slowed. I can't. This feels weird. Forced. And I stopped.

He instantly opened his eyes.

I need an excuse. I need to leave. I jumped up from my knees and let go of him. "I've got cramps." It sounded stupid even to me.

He raised an eyebrow but didn't question any further. Probably too dumbfounded.

I didn't even say bye when I left. I power walked to the front door, swung it open, carefully shut it behind me, and nearly sprinted to my car. My heart was jumping faster than a rabbit on speed.

_I just ruined everything. _

If Puckerman wasn't suspicious before, then he sure as hell is right now. I can fix it later. I can. I slipped into my car and sped away. But right now I need to fix myself. I need to calm down and process everything.

The drive back was longer. Way longer. Probably because I _wanted _to go where I was going. It always seemed to take longer to get back.

I parked outside the Pierce's house. The porch light was off. Brittany never remembered stuff like that. But every other light inside the house was on. She never remembered to turn them off. I climbed out of my car and had to force myself to walk like a normal person, instead of sprint like a maniac. I needed this short walk from my car to her front door to find an explanation.

But when I reached the front door I was even more confused. I thought about knocking, but that would be silly. I never knocked. And she's probably in bed already; I'd feel bad if I made her get up.

I walked in, shut the door behind me, flicked on the porch light, locked the front door, and proceeded to walk through the house and shut off all the unnecessary lights. As I made my way through the house I picked up Brittany's pot pie leftovers and threw it away. I even cleaned up the kitchen a little. I didn't want the food to go bad, and it also gave me time to relax my nerves.

Eventually there was nothing to clean so I brushed my teeth and washed my hands at least ten times.

There's nothing left. I need to go upstairs.

I inched toward her room. The door was propped open and the only light coming from the room was the glow from the TV. As I got closer the voices from the movie she was watching got louder. I pressed my finger tips on the door, creaked it open, and stepped in.

Brittany was curled into her bed and staring at the television.

She smiled.

I smiled.

She went back to watching the TV.

Everything's fine. I sighed and headed toward the bed. An oversized t-shirt was folded and sitting at the foot of her bed. Just the t-shirt. Lately I've only requested a shirt. If it was cold she would let me borrow pants, if not I just slept in my underwear.

I changed in the dark. Out of habit I turned my back to her when I took my bra off. I knew she wasn't looking, and I knew she's seen my chest before, but it still felt weird not to change with a little decency. I piled up my jeans, bra, and shirt on the floor by her dresser.

Wearing her purple hot air balloon shirt, I rounded the bed and crawled under the comforter.

She didn't ask. She wasn't going to ask, but I she has to be deathly curious. I wasn't gone near long enough to have done anything. She knows that. I was only gone long enough to drive there, and drive back.

Her back was to me. I wanted to scoot close to her, but I lay frozen and stared at the ceiling. I started to find shapes in the paint. It was the only thing I could do to keep myself distracted. But that got boring. I pulled the comforter up to my chin and shifted softly, so I didn't disturb her.

When I closed my eyes I started to watch myself touch Puckerman. It was like watching a horrible home video. It was jumpy and from a first persons point of view. My point of view.

I pulled the comforter up to cover my eyes, thinking that might block the image. It did for a second. And then I started to watch it all over again from the beginning.

I groaned and jerked my body in a tantrum. My fists clenched. I whipped my arm up and smothered my eyes with the crook of my elbow. I felt like a giant pouty baby.

But then her hands touched me. My body heat increased at least a hundred degrees when she curled into me. I felt one of her hands rest on my stomach and the other tuck in between us. Her head nestled into my chest.

When her breaths locked tempo, I knew she had fallen asleep.

**xxxxXXXXxx**

**A/N: So probably not the sexy scene you were hoping for...Still I felt it was necessary. If I've burned your eyeballs please read the chapter before us. I think mirror sex will fix them. ;)**


	21. That Same Damn Smile

**A/N: Helloooo! Update :) YAY. I was going to update Stranded With Dinosaurs before this, but I had an idea and kind of ran with it. Took me a little longer to write this-soon you'll find out why. There's a scene I wanted to include and it was actually VERY time consuming to write about ;)**

**Oh yes, and I need your opinions. I'm torn between 3 ideas. I have about 1 or 2 chapters left for this and then there's a few directions I can go. I can either make a short summer series (5-6 chapters) OR I can tack on a summer chapter to this and make MBF around 24 chapters long.**

**Also, my plan is to start season 2 fairly soon. I'll continue it from Santana's POV-though I did consider rewriting MBF-Season 1 and making it from Brittany's POV...maybe I'll save that for later. **

**Okay. Enough chat. Read, review, and leave your suggestion. Let me know what you think of this chapter. My reviews are kind of fading away (not that I don't appreciate those who do review-because I do!), but it's nice to get some feedback.**

**Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 21: That Same Damn Smile**

I knew this was a dream. It had to be. The cabin felt like a home, it felt right, but this is the first time I've ever been in it. It was small, cozy, but a little silly due to all the purple hand prints scattering the walls. It's like some _child _went crazy with finger paint. I'm painfully anticipating the moment when grumpy hill folk wearing overalls, toting shotguns over their shoulders, and sporting scruffy beards burst open the door and yell at _someone _for ruining the rustic feel of their cabin.

Everyone, all the glee clubbers, just sat around on couches and talked about nonsense. And the longer we all talked, the less worried I became about being yelled at. Maybe those hill folk won't come after all. Maybe this isn't their cabin. Maybe the purple handprints are supposed to be on the wall.

I took in a heavy sigh of relief and looked over at Brittany. We were sharing a comfy brown couch. It only had two cushions, but it easily (and regretfully) fit three. I looked past my best friend and saw the _other _blonde _Cheerio. _The one that didn't give me butterflies, the one who made my butterflies die because she probably knew about _things._

The three of us (Britt, me and Quinn) shared the stupid poofy couch. Sometimes Rachel would drift over and sit on the armrest next to me, but I always shot her a threatening look and she would skitter away into Finn's arms. She would skitter away wearing her stupid little stockings and stupid little librarian dress.

I decided to turn my attention back to Brittany. She kept chiming in at the perfect moments. She said something quirky after Finn talked about restocking the fireplace, she slipped in something ambiguous after Tina said something about making tacos for dinner, and she always made it a point to scoot closer to me when nobody was looking.

To my surprise, Quinn wasn't paying any attention to Brittany scooting closer. She was paying more attention to her pregnant belly. Out of the corner of my eye she was caressing her baby bump and making little coo noises at it. The sight was a little bizarre. Quinn isn't like that. She's nurturing-yes, to an extent, but she's not one to pet her stomach like someone would pet a kitten in their lap.

That's when I notice _I _was petting a kitten in Brittany's lap. It was curled up and nestled into her crotch. I scratched the spot in front of its tiny cute little ears. The kitten was sleeping, but it would purr louder at my touch. It was like a tiny little engine revving up.

But its fur was turning purple from my touch.

_Shit. My_ hands are purple. The hands I was using to tickle the kitten are covered in purple paint. My body tensed, and I jerked my hands away. _Was I the one who ruined the cabin walls? _As inconspicuous as possible I drifted my hands away and shoved them into the couch cushion, deep enough until no purple was visible.

Brittany noticed the absence of my hands. She had been speaking and abruptly stopped the second I pulled my hands away from the purring kitten.

Everyone was looking at me. Everyone.

I felt sticky. Hot. Like I should be sweating, but I wasn't. In my dream I was wearing a skin tight, black dress. Nothing else. No underwear, no shoes, no makeup. Just the dress. I shouldn't be hot. If anything I should be cold. I checked out a cabin window and again saw falling snowflakes.

The only way I could get them to stop looking was if I started petting the kitten again. I'm not sure how I knew it, but I did. So I slipped my hand back out from the couch cushion and hesitantly continued to scratch underneath the sleeping kittens chin.

Instantly, everyone went back to chatting.

Brittany leaned in, put her lips on the skin behind my ear, and whispered. "See."

She pinched my knee, and I looked down to see that her hands were also covered in the purple paint. My heart palpitated. I didn't want anyone seeing _that_. I can deal with (maybe deal with) being accused of ruining the cabin, but I don't want anybody yelling at her. I'd flip a bitch if that happened and nobody would survive my wrath.

"There's a room in the back." Quinn spoke to me. "For you guys to wash your hands."

It was the first time someone had said something directly to me. It's not like they were intentionally excluding me from the conversation. I just never bothered to join in. I was too interested in listening, looking at Brittany, and worrying about the hill folk returning.

When Quinn spoke to me, nobody thought twice about her _suggestion_. They didn't find it odd that Quinn was encouraging Britt and me to find a little privacy.

So I stood up. I grabbed Brittany's hand and I marched her to the back of the cabin. I was the first to step into the room and, as soon as I pulled her in with me, slammed the door shut. It was a little hard to shut, because it didn't quite fit right. Cabin doors never fit perfectly. Everyone always expected cabins to be the norm, especially out in the wilderness, but the flippin' doors _never _fit. I knew they never fit, and for some reason people just kept expecting them too…Sometimes I expected them too after I knew better.

That's not really an issue now. Everyone outside already knows me and Brittany are in here, so I don't need to shut the door completely. We don't even need to shut the door. Heck, we don't even need a cabin door.

The time it took me to cross the room, sit on the bed, and look back, Brittany had replaced the door with a red curtain. It fit perfectly. Finally someone understood this pet peeve of mine and fixed it. She was on her tippy toes adjusting the top corner, making it hang just right so the frame was completely sealed and no sound could be let out.

I scanned the room. The only thing I found was an old western oil painting hanging on the wall next to the window. Except the painting was _way_ too bright to be either _old_ or _western_. It looked like it had been painted with bright colors. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. It should have been painted with bucolic reds, and burnt oranges.

"Take your dress off Santana." Brittany ordered. Her back was to me and she was still fixing the curtain.

I squirmed to reach behind my back, but the zipper was to high. I contorted my elbows, grunted, shifted, I even tried to twist my dress, but it wasn't coming off.

Brittany turned around. A cute, but clearly disappointed, frown drifted across her face. My heart skipped a beat when the frown didn't fade. Usually she'll pout, purse her lips, shrug her shoulders, and force back a smile. _Why was she still frowning? Is it really that big of a deal that I can't undress myself?_

Her arm lifted, her finger extended, and she pointed at me. _Wait. No. _She pointed over my shoulder.

Before I turned around to see what she pointed at, my dress loosened and it fell from my chest. Someone had unzipped it.

"There." A voice floated over my shoulder. "Now are we going to do this or what?"

I leaned back and fell into Puckerman's chest. It was the only thing I could do to keep myself from panicking and it was what he expected out of me. Brittany's seen us make out before (at Puckerman's party), but Puckerman's never seen me make out with Brittany. I'm not about to give him a show.

"Can you ask them to be quiet out there?" Brittany interrupted Puck's roaming and groping hands. My dress had fallen down to my lap and my chest was entirely exposed.

"Sure." He jumped up and left before I had the opportunity to comprehend everything, to understand Brittany's question, to wonder why I was letting him touch me in front of her.

He burst through the curtain and Brittany again sealed the corners.

"Why do they need to be quiet?" I asked. I wasn't complaining about her excuse to get rid of Puck, because this was _our_ sexy time. I was actually _very very very _grateful she found a reason to make him leave. But I was curious, w_hy now was she able to interrupt, when before she just held on to my hand and watched us practically have sex in his hallway at the party? _Maybe it had to do with timing. When _that _(in the hallway) happened, it was the first night after her admission. The idea of _us _was fresh. Now it's not. Now feelings have grown, developed, changed. Now she knows what she wants, and has reason to get jealous and protective.

Brittany quickly paced across the room and jumped onto my lap. Each of her knees straddling my thigh. "We'll have to do this quick right?" She asked.

"The door. We can just lock it." I peeked around her body and studied the curtain.

"We can't lock the door. Remember?" She pushed me backwards until I was flat on my back. "Ready? Close your eyes."

I did. I closed my eyes, and blackness consumed everything. It wasn't anything like staring at the inside of my eyelids. It was like staring into space, without any stars. There was nothing for my vision to latch onto, nothing familiar.

I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn't. I was stuck. And I was panicking.

But even though I couldn't see it, I knew exactly when Brittany pushed her fingers inside of me.

A gasp woke me up. My body jolted upright. The empty darkness that I'd been staring into only moments before altered into a clouded darkness as my eyes started to adjust to the room. I saw a silhouette of Brittany's TV, I saw the night peeking through her windows curtain, and I saw a night light pulsating between pink and purple just below that window. Pink. Fade. Purple. Fade. Pink. Fade. Purple…

_Who gasped? _I listened intently trying to figure out who it was. _Brittany? _I twisted my body towards her side of the bed. She was already awake and even in the darkness I could see her sapphire eyes burning through my skin.

She sat up. "Nightmare?" Her voice cracked the darkness. It was soft, but startling at the same time. She placed her palm to my temple and gradually eased her hand over the surface of my forehead searching for a fever.

"No. Sort of. No." I couldn't make up my mind. Sex dreams don't qualify as nightmares, but for some reason this dream had my stomach in knots. "Just a weird dream."

"What about?" Brittany scooted closer to me and pulled the comforter off of my lap. She must have decided that I was a little warm. And I was. I felt sticky, clammy, hot.

I pushed my hands to my eyes and tried to rub them awake. As much as I wanted to return to that sex dream starring Brittany, I didn't want to return to find someone else had taken her spot. Or I didn't want to return to find out I had to stare into a black abyss the entire time. It was creepy.

"I just couldn't see." I admitted. It was true, and about as far as I was willing to admit at this point.

"Well," She started to play with my hair. Her fingers would start at the top and she would twist, tickle, and pet her way down the strands in her hand. "You can see now. Once I had a nightmare that I kept getting struck by lightning. And then I realized I was you, not me. So it was kind of scary."

That admission from her held a lot of truth and boldness, even though it sounded silly. I knew she said it to make me feel better, and I knew she said it, because I was holding back on the specifics and realities of my nightmare.

And yet, I just nodded.

I felt bad. She needed more from me. Not only that, but I needed to unburden myself from this creepy dream and the only way I can do that is if I tell Brittany. I've always told Brittany my dreams and nightmares. Always.

I started to run through the specifics and slowly let myself tell her what I thought I could handle. "We were all in a cabin, the Glee club. And everyone was talking." I rubbed my temples to think and try to replay the details. It was already fading. Brittany's hand dropped down to my lower back. She slithered under the oversized t-shirt that had bunched up in my tossing-sleep, and started gentle motions with her fingertips across my bare skin.

"U-uhm." _Her touch_. The skin on skin contact was causing me to skip right over the majority of the dream and get to the good stuff…the part where she told me to close my eyes. It caused my stomach to roll and my heart to take a few extra-long and heavy beats.

Her fingernails trailed from the bottom of my spine, up to the middle of my back, and then back down. Goosebumps and chills covered my skin, and they fought to see which could cover the most area.

I tried to remember my dream, but she was making it impossible. Still I needed to say something. I needed to be honest with at least some aspect of my craziness. "I-I," the words from my lips still fumbled out. "I was afraid that the people who owned the cabin would get mad, because me and you had finger painted the walls." I flipped my hands over and over in front of my face to make sure the purple paint was gone. And it was.

As Brittany continued to drag her fingers up and down my spine, the oversized shirt lifted and fell with her. She went up, and my naked stomach and ribs were exposed to the dark room. She went down and I was covered. Up-she went higher this time and I felt the bottom of my breast become exposed. It was easy to tell the difference between the temperature inside my shirt, and the temperature inside the room.

"And you had a kitten." I turned to her.

She smiled. Her eyes lit up even brighter. "Cute." She paused and pinched her lips into a straight line. "Wait, don't tell me the kitten died. It didn't die right?"

Her hand stopped at the high part of my back, leaving a lot of my body uncovered. Again I felt the cooler temperature beating against the bottom of my chest.

"No. No." I quickly reassured her. "No, the cat didn't die." She continued her petting up and down my back. Suddenly I wanted to draw out the story as long as I could. My skin jumped each time she would switch directions, each time she would apply a different amount of pressure, and each time she would scoot closer to me.

"But, uh." My heart started to race. I was trying to find the right words to say. "Well me and you went into a room in the back."

She nodded, but I knew I had to continue in order for her to understand _why _we went into the back. Or maybe I could just leave that part out…_No. _Tell her. I can tell her. We've done things together and I'm pretty confident a silly sex dream won't scare her away.

"I tried to get my dress unzipped." I felt her muscles tighten in her body and course through the palm she had pressed against my back. Now she knew. "And…Puckerman walked in and tried to help."

Her hand only faltered and hesitated for a second, but she quickly returned to her rubbing motion on my back. She didn't want to scare me away from the topic.

"But he left. And when we…we, us,…" I took a heavy awkward gulp. It felt like I was confessing about last night, and telling her that I left Puckerman's because of her. "We started doing _things_," I emphasized the word _things._ "But I couldn't see. Like I was blind."

Her tense rubbing calmed back down. "Well you can see now Santana. It's okay."

"Yeah," I nodded fervently. The confession was causing my temperature to rise even more. And the combination of the heat from my body and the chills her hand was giving me, was starting to become overwhelming. "It's really hot." I tried to fan my face. My burning cheeks were causing my eyes to water and my nose to sting. The rest of my body felt like I was standing inches away from a blazing fire.

"I can turn on a fan." Her hand left my back as she jumped off the bed. I listened to her stumble through the darkness and search for the tiny fan in her room. "High or low?" She turned back towards me.

"High." I quickly answered. I was still heating up. _Was this another one of my stupid panic attacks? _It had to be.

She turned the fan on and the room echoed with a whirring noise. The breeze hit my skin, but didn't do much to alleviate and cool the burn.

Brittany crossed the room and opened her window. A gust from outside started to flap the curtain. Again I felt another breeze slap my skin, but it still didn't help.

"You should take your shirt off." Brittany joined me on my side of the bed and sat by my feet. "It'll help."

But I don't have a bra on…

Brittany continued, as if she sensed my apprehension. "I'll take off the comforter, and we can just sleep under the sheet." Brittany stood back up and pulled the comforter off my lap. She dropped it at the foot of her bed.

"What if you're parents walk in?" I was still stuck on her comment about me taking my shirt off. The image of the red flowing curtain in my dream flashed through my mind. It was vivid, bright, but momentary.

The blonde sauntered over to her door and locked it. "Nobody comes in anyway." She shrugged and walked back toward me.

I need to stop being a stupid baby. I need to stop making this awkward. We're best friends.

I grabbed the bottom of the oversized purple hot air balloon t-shirt and pulled it over my head. The coolness of the room immediately hit my skin and started to cool me down. The instant I pulled my arms out of the shirt I handed it to Brittany. She was smiling again. The same cute smile she gave me when I told her a kitten was in my dream.

Brittany took the balled up t-shirt, dropped it on the crumpled comforter and sat back down by me feet.

I'd instinctually covered my chest. I'd folded my arms. But Brittany wasn't looking at my chest; she was trying to make eye contact while I tried to avoid it.

"Santana you look pretty. Even if you don't feel good." She scooted closer and placed her hand on my lap. Only a thin white sheet shielded the skin on skin contact.

"Thanks." I blushed and was thankful that she hadn't decided to turn on her bedroom light when she was up. "But I don't feel pretty."

She looked down from my eyes and watched her hand touch my _sheet-covered_ thigh. "Sorry I made you record the cooking show. And thanks for doing it. I know you don't like Rachel, but she's the only one I could get to come over on such short notice."

The apology pulled me out of my self-consciousness. It was like a slap in the face. "Don't be sorry Britt Britt. It's totally fine. Rachel's annoying, yeah. But I like doing that stuff with you. It's fun. Plus, I didn't really think you invited me over to make a sex tape," I let out a soft laugh. "That was wishful thinking." I added the last part, even though my voice shook as I did. She needed to hear it. She deserved to hear it after all she's done for me and after all the times I've freaked out on her. She needed to know where I stood.

Now it was Brittany's turn to blush. "Well, my parents watch those tapes sometimes and I don't know how to erase stuff. One time they got mad because I spent an hour of their film recording my _Barbies_. I just got a new dream house and I was trying to make a reality TV series."

"Well good thing we didn't record anything." I let out a sigh of relief. That would have been all kinds of awful and very hard to explain.

Brittany let her head fall to my lap and hugged around my waist. The hug brought me back to how we used to be. She always hugged me, always sought comfort in me, and recently that role had reversed.

But _finally _we were fixed. Back to normal. Sort of. It was unexpected, but it was _needed. _

She nuzzled her cheek into my lap. "I'm glad you're my best friend Santana."

I let my hand fall from my chest and started to rub _her _back. Her, like this, her hugging me…it reminded me that I wasn't the only one going through this change in our relationship. We could be quick and chalk everything up to silly teenage hormones, or to girls being unusually close, but that wasn't the case. There's nothing silly about best friends doing this.

_Us_ doing this wasn't simple. It's jumbled and messy and has brought out a lot of emotions. Sure I've had sex with random guys at parties, because I was horny at the time. But there's something to be said about me constantly thinking about Brittany. We've already developed the friendship, the love, the caring, the need for one-another…now our relationship is evolving even more so.

I hated that I had been so selfish to not acknowledge her struggle. We'd been so focused on me, that I hadn't thought about her. It was probably harder for her, because of how protective and caring I usually am. For those roles to be suddenly reversed must have confused the shit out of her. I'm the one who rubbed her back when someone called her stupid; I'm the one who bought her ice cream when guys said something rude. _So why wasn't I the one comforting her during all of this development between us?_

"I'm glad you're _my _best friend." I responded to her, and used the same words she had said to me.

We sat like that for awhile. Long enough for me to think she'd fallen asleep. And long enough for me to start to get antsy. Anytime Brittany gets close to me all I can think about is what we've done, and now that I'm topless and her heads in my lap…

"Britt?" I whispered. First, I needed to see if she was awake.

No answer.

I leaned back against her headboard and closed my eyes.

XXXXxxxxxxXXXXXxxxXX

A buzzing noise jolted me awake. Using Brittany's exact words, _it sounded like a hundred bumblebees using their stingers against the dresser like jackhammers. _

I jerked up to find that I was halfway slumped over against the headboard. Brittany shot up from my lap. Her eyes fogged, heavy, and her mouth halfway open.

I picked up the thundering, vibrating, phone and flipped it open. "Hello?" My voice was groggy and dry. An enormous yawn escaped my mouth, and I watched Brittany echo the same thriving yawn.

"_Breakfast this morning."_

"What?" I had no clue who was talking to me, or what they were talking about. I looked at the clock on Brittany's dresser. "It's like five in the morning. Who is this?" The glowing morning sun peeking around the curtain confirmed that early morning number.

"_Mercedes." _I heard the annoyance in her voice_. "Rachel made me call you, because she knew you would either forget or blow it off."_

"Hells yeah I would. I have school in a few hours." I snapped back.

"Is that for breakfast!" Brittany perked up. "I'm starving. I'm pretty sure that pot pie ate all the other food in my stomach and then ate my stomach."

"Hmm." I narrowed my eyes at Brittany, but in the end I couldn't deny her something she seemed so excited about. "Fine. You've already woke us up. Where?"

"_The diner. See you and Britt there. We're all meeting in an hour. Bye" _Mercedes said and hung up the phone.

I didn't bother to say bye, and just tossed my phone across the bed. It slid off the sheet and clunked to the floor. "Shit." I grumbled. I gave up, turned to hang my feet off the side of the bed, and fell back on to the cool sheets.

It took a moment to get cold and for me to remember that I was topless. I grabbed a pillow and hugged it across my chest. "This is way too early." I mumbled with my eyes closed.

The bed shifted as Brittany crawled towards me. The mattress stopped jostling and laid her head on my stomach. Her cheek and ear rested just below my ribs. "The early bird catches the worm." Brittany recited the saying. Her fingers started to tickle and walk across the lace on my underwear.

Immediately, like clockwork, my entire body heated, my center clenched, and my breath hitched.

"I've never done it in the morning." Brittany admitted without an ounce of hesitation.

The abrupt comment stomped down my defenses and pushed aside my usual nervousness. I clenched the muscles in between my legs even tighter.

"Neither have I." I opened my eyes at the revelation. _Weird. _Out of all the times I've had sex, with all the guys, I've never stayed the night and had the opportunity to do _it_ in the morning.

"Unless you count that one time we did it at like four in the morning. But that's still night time cause it was dark." Brittany said and the corner of her lips and her cheek moved against the skin of my stomach.

Again, that revelation hit me like a stack of bricks. Brittany _is _the only one I've ever stayed the night with.

While I thought about it, I felt her hand trickle lower. She was moving in slow motion. I felt each pin-prick left by her fingertips, and I felt the pressure grow in between my legs as she moved lower and slower. Her fingers walked across my underwear until she finally cupped me.

I grunted at her touch. And squirmed even more at the thought of us being asleep only minutes before this.

She kneaded over the black lacy fabric. I jerked and groaned against the sharp and throbbing pressure. Her squeeze was rhythmic and hard. Each time she would clutch and crush her palm and fingertips against me I would lift my hips up from the mattress and push back. We kept this up for awhile. Each time my gasp would grow a little heavier, a little deeper. And each time my stomach would knot, begging her to cup harder.

Her lips started to kiss across my stomach. They were slow, soft. But her cupping and my returned thrust was hard.

I felt her fingertips slide over the fabric of my underwear. I knew I was wet. And now the thought of her feeling how wet I was sent me over the edge. I needed more.

"Britt. Put your hand inside." I hugged the pillow tighter as I tried to control and keep my words from cracking.

"Can I try something different?" Brittany spoke into my stomach. The air from her breath caused my skin to frost over. "We've never done it before." She continued to pepper kisses across my heaving stomach. Her hand stopped cupping me. Now she was running her damp hand up and down the inside of my thigh.

I thought about it. _Try what? _I mean, there's only so much we can do and I was pretty sure we'd done it all. Well, aside from toys…but I don't have any and I know she doesn't. "Okay." The word came out breathy. Her soft kisses were starting to overwhelm me.

"I'm going to take off your underwear." Brittany said, but didn't wait for my response. Her fingers looped through the lacing at my hip and slid my panties down. She didn't stop at my knees and she didn't stop at my ankles. She pulled them all the way off and tossed them to the floor.

I was completely naked. Completely. If it weren't for the pillow hugging my chest I'm not sure how I would react right now.

Brittany grabbed the pink frilly pillow I was hugging. "Santana. Can I move this?" The question was soft and not demanding in any way.

She was so sweet and caring that I just nodded my head _yes, _and allowed her to take the pillow.

Now I was naked.

And she smiled.

"See. You're still pretty Santana." She leaned into me and gave me a short peck on the lips.

When she pulled back I just watched her in awe. I was entranced and curious to know what she wanted to do, what she _could_ do that we haven't done.

"I'm gonna have to take my underwear off." She explained as she pulled down her shorts and her motorcycle panties and tossed them in the same direction as my underwear.

She scooted, crawled over my leg, and sat in between my knees on her knees. Her white tank-top hugged her skin perfectly and left nothing to the imagination. As for the rest of her. I couldn't take my eyes away from the spot that her underwear should be covering.

My heart was thumping, my mind was running wild, and I still couldn't figure out what the hell she was doing.

She inched closer.

Just when her center was inches from mine she lifted her leg over my thigh and straddled the top of my leg where it met my hip. Just like she was swinging her leg over a bike. Her lips brushed and nicked my thigh and a spasm consumed my lower body.

She didn't even do anything; just the thought of us touching like _that_ was enough to pleasure me.

_But was she really doing this? _I always thought that scissoring was kind of a joke, or something guys made fun of. Not something that I'd enjoy.

Brittany must have seen the pleasure crawl through my face, because she scooted closer. I felt her wetness slip across my inner thigh, until she pushed her center against mine. Her right hand rested on my stomach, and her left hand lifted the leg she wasn't straddling. My knee bent as my thigh rose, and exposed even more of my center against her.

Every muscle in her leg flexed. It was clear that she'd never done this before, and that she was searching for the proper way to do this. But it was also clear that she had planned this out, had thought about it, because she was doing a pretty damn good job.

She rocked her hips and pushed down on me. Her pelvic bone ground into my clit and sent a shudder throughout my body. "Fuck. Britt." The words flooded from my mouth. She felt hot, wet, swollen. I spread my lifted leg further out.

The best part was the pleasure on _her_ face. It reminded me of the bathroom mirror.

She rocked her hips and rolled against me again. A heavy groan slipped through my throat. At the same time the hand she had placed on my stomach pinched my skin. Her fingers curled into my abs and the fingers on her other hand squeezed the back of my thigh that she was holding up.

She rocked. I pushed back. I groaned. She squeezed. I pushed my hips towards her again. She rocked again. And again. And again. And again. And again. I knew I was about to climax, but I wanted to wait for her. She was still pushing hard against me, and I couldn't tell if it was to get me off, or to get her off.

A faint and deep tremor came through my body. It was hushed at first, but gradually intensified, until I was whimpering and panting to keep it controlled. Every muscle in my body clenched and I peaked.

But she continued to rock against my spasms. It intensified the pleasure and every inch of my body ripped and screamed to be touched by her. I wanted her hands against my breasts, I wanted her fingers deep inside me, I wanted her tongue flicking my clit, and I wanted her pussy to keep rocking against me. I wanted all of it.

"Britt. Britt. Britt." I said her name in unison with my spasms.

She stopped and I watched her breathing hitch. Her mouth slipped open to let out a delayed gasp and her eyes closed. Hers was short.

She crawled back over my leg and sat crossed legged on the bed next to me as she tried to catch her breath. I was still shaking. I knew her orgasm wasn't as intense as mine, but I was still glad she'd done it.

XXXXXxxxxxXXXXxxxX

We had to scurry around my room to get dressed in time. But we did. Brittany and I were the last ones to show up at the diner, but we technically weren't late. _6:08am._ We walked, pinkies linked, through the glass diner doors and headed straight towards the other Glee members.

Two seats were saved for us. In between Tina and Finn. I sat by Tina.

"Hey." Tina and me exchanged greetings.

"Why are we here again?" I unlinked my pinkie with Brittany and flipped open a menu.

"You look like you just woke up." Mercedes raised an eyebrow. "I called you guys early to make sure you'd have enough time."

An hour wasn't nearly enough time for sex with Brittany, a shower, and makeup. So maybe I skimped on the last two things. "Necesito mas tiempo. Unlike sea urchin over there." I peaked over my menu and looked at Rachel.

Truth was, Rachel looked the most awake and put together out of everyone. She wasn't yawning or rubbing sleep out of her eyes. Unlike Brittany, her hair was straight. Brittany's ponytail was crooked and half wet from her twenty second shower. Unlike, Finn her clothes weren't wrinkled. And unlike Quinn, her eyes weren't halfway open.

"Couldn't we have just talked before class?" Artie said in between another yawn.

I looked over to Brittany as she caught the contagious yawn and used the back of her hand to mask it. Her eyes closed and she leaned her head on my shoulder. I glanced around the table and nobody took a second look at our closeness. It'd become too common and natural within the group.

"No." Rachel answered Artie. "This is a team building event. The greatest competitors always do things like this. It will help us sing in unison and think as a single unit. We need this in order to beat vocal adrenaline."

"How will breakfast make us read each other's minds?" Brittany spoke from my shoulder without opening her eyes.

"It will bring us together, closer." Rachel scoffed and covered her face with her menu.

"Why didn't you tell us this before? We wouldn't have come." I said, but it wasn't true. These guys had somewhat become friends, and breakfast with them wasn't the horrible travesty it would have been a few months ago. Now it was kind of…nice. And comforting. When Rachel didn't answer I decided to take back my comment. "Fine. Whatever. This place has bomb pancakes so it's worth it."

Rachel lowered her menu at my comment and I saw a subtle smile hide behind her lips.

Everyone started their own conversations and I just sat and scanned over the menu. I was reading off the options to Brittany. "Eggs Florentine?" I asked.

"What's that?" She'd left her head on my shoulder and her eyes were still closed.

"Uh…" I searched for a description, but there was none. "No clue."

"Let's just get pancakes like always." Brittany lifted her head from my shoulder and reached for her cup of water.

I folded the menu back up and set it in front of me. Pancakes it was.

"Hey." Puck spoke across the table in my direction. I looked up. _Crap, he was looking at me. _"Where'd you go last night?"

My eyes widened, but I quickly returned them to their normal size. I didn't want him thinking something was up, and I didn't want to draw in the attention of anyone else. "What are you talking about?" I kept my voice smooth and soft, but still snappy.

"You totally bailed on me." He whispered this and glanced over at Quinn. Thank goodness our agendas were the same. I relaxed when I realized he, just as much as me, didn't want anyone listening into the conversation.

I just shrugged.

"Well. Whatever. Just checking." He tried to sound uninterested and turned his attention towards Matt who was sitting right next to him.

I started to fiddle with the menu in front of me. When that got boring I started to push my ice cubes down in my water cup and watch them bob back up to the surface. I was trying to push away the memory of my abrupt departure from Puckerman's, and I was trying to think of anything other than the reason why I left.

An elbow nudged me. It was Brittany's. I looked over at her and she smiled. That same damn smile. I knew that she _kinda figured_ nothing happened last night when I came back so soon, and I knew she _kinda figured_ nothing happened when I told her about my nightmare this morning and how Puck left the 'cabin bedroom', but now that Puckerman confirmed that nothing happened between us (that I chickened out), Brittany knew for sure.


	22. Sucks

**A/N: Hey! So sorry for taking a bajillion years to update. I've been way to busy at work lately. :/ But I promise not to take that long on another update. Also, this chapter is literally twice as long as my usual chapters! And it is the last chapter of season one. I'll be working a few summer chapters that will start out season 2. So keep an eye out for a new story I will be posting. I haven't yet decided what it'll be called...probably something similar to Must Be Felt (Maybe, Must Be Felt S2) Something like that. If you don't want to lose track of MBF it's probably best to just keep me as an "author alert". **

**Okay. So thank you everyone! This was excellent to write! I enjoyed it very much. When I started I only intended to do like 6-7 chapters...and look what it turned into! And now I plan on doing summer episodes, and writing for season 2! :) **

**Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 22 : Sucks**

_How did this happen? _Just this morning at the diner everyone was obnoxiously excited about our chances at regionals and now we're all depressing black holes. Mr. Shue invited us over for a pizza party in hopes of lifting our spirits, but not even the lure of pizza after a long day of not eating is going to pull me back. I'm depressed and I'm the one who thinks Glee is for losers. I can't even imagine how anyone else is holding up. I can't even form a thought that doesn't involve how awful next year is going to be, and Britt and I have _Cheerios. _They have nothing.

At morning cheer practice Sue announced she was going to be a judge at the show choir regionals and she's going to destroy glee club. When Brittany and I didn't smirk along with the rest of the cheer-bots, she made us do wind sprints until one of us puked. My legs feel like Jell-O, the muscles in my back are achy, and my stomach is in knots (both from the bad news and from dry heaving).

Now, I can't even take proper sized gulps, because I feel like each swallow might be followed by a choked sob. And I can't cry. No way. Especially not after what happened in the hallway a week or so back. I can't let that kind of emotion overwhelm me again. Never again.

It was terrifying not knowing why I was crying before. Crying, not able to pinpoint a specific reason, event, conversation that sent me into hysteria. It was all too much at once. Every little fear, paranoia, what-if scenario, and possibility shoved itself in my face and stuffed itself down my throat.

My emotional detonation started innocently enough. First, I was crying because the other girls were crying. It made it okay. For some insane and illogical reason seeing them cry was the catalyst. A stupid, overdramatic girl is what caused me to short circuit. Just the sight of that one _Cheerio _visibly upset was enough to send me over the edge and into a deep and flooded ravine. It reminded me of being home alone at night and the moment I turned on a lamp, I had to turn on every other single lamp in the house. My feelings and fears tend to be a little gluttonous. Once they get a taste of something daunting they become greedy.

I'd wanted to cry long before that. Before I got to school that day and before I lied to my dad about going to cheer nationals. The moment Sue told me _Cheerios _was over, I wanted to crumple into a little ball. But I didn't want to scare Brittany, overwhelm her, or give her _any other _reason to walk on eggshells around me. Its bad enough I have to start fixing and patching up my post-sex panic attacks, I didn't want to have to worry about patching up the cheer thing too. I want to comfort her, as I've always done. I want her to curl up next to me at night. I want to be strong, because Isure as hell am strong.

In the hallway, after I'd seen the freshman _Cheerio _crying, I'd gotten my first taste of blood. I started panicking. It was sudden and crushing. In that instant I knew the rest of high school was going to be a hell-hole, especially after the girls found out Sue blamed me. I'd be shunned, humiliated, and even worse…I'd still be in Glee club. Right now being in Glee club is okay, because I'm head cheerleader, I'm the most popular girl in school, but the instant that changes I'm nothing other than a Rachel Berry-replica.

And then everything ignited.

I'm not known for rationalism. In fact, I'm known for my independence, insensitivity, candor, and willingness to let nothing get in my way. If I want something, there's nothing stopping me from getting it. These past few months I've _wanted _Brittany, and not even the fear of someone (my parents, the student body) finding out has stopped me. The rational thing would have been to take things slow, to talk about it. When I wanted popularity and power, I slept with Puckerman and every other guy along the way. When I wanted Brittany to stop crying, I joined Glee club.

But when I wanted to stop crying in the middle of the hallway, I couldn't. And the more I tried, the worse it got. It was that overpowering uncertainty that caused me to lose my footing. Not knowing if I was crying about the thought of losing Brittany. Losing our friendship. Changing our friendship. Not knowing if it was the thought of how my parents would react. _What would they really say if they knew I fucked her? _Not just cuddled with her, or kissed her on the cheek. Santana Lopez, on multiple occasions, has had sex with her best friend, a girl.

And that sudden previous and recent juke into an entirely different cauldron of fears is the exact reason I refuse to cry right now. I'll start crying about losing Glee club, and that will quickly alter into crying about my feelings for Britt. I will go to school naked before I cry in front of people, in public, ever again.

My vision wasn't focused on something specific. I was just zoning out. Thinking. Spacing. Wondering what next year will be like when I won't have a comfortable place to go to every day. Glee Club. _Cheerios _may be something I do, who I am, but it's not a place to relax. Not even my own home is a place to relax. Especially now with everything between me and Britt. I just can't imagine losing _this. _All of this. All of these people.

Quinn walked back into the room, caught the corner of my eye, and set a stack of paper plates on the table. She plopped down on the only open couch and sunk her eyes like the rest of us. She, of all people, was losing the most. She'd lost head cheerleader, lost her popularity, and now she was losing Glee. I'm just glad neither Britt nor I are in her position.

"Nobody wants any pizza?" Mr. Shue broke the silence like a whip. My body jolted from the intruding words, but when I scanned the room, nobody else seemed to react the way I did. It felt like every muscle inside my body clenched, but my instincts had kept me from dramatizing my reaction. Instead I contained the jump, held my breath, and focused on my knees.

Matt had pulled out a couple of chairs for me and Britt when we arrived, since everyone had taken all of the other seats. Truth be told, I'd almost not shown up. If it weren't for Brittany, and the thought of disappointing her, I would have blown it off. _Why the hell would I willingly put myself through this humiliation/depression if I don't have something invested (Brittany)? _

The room stayed silent. Nobody seemed to have noticed my reaction, which means they're probably still oblivious to how much I like Glee, and how much I don't want to lose it. That's a good thing. Next year will be a fresh start. I'll be head cheerleader. I won't have to worry about upholding my reputation and Glee Club at the same time, and won't have to worry about _pretending_ to like these guys.

"All right, well, uh, let's get started." Mr. Shue continued. He clapped his hands together. "Thank you for coming to the first annual _New Directions _regionals set list nomination party."

"What's the point, Mr. Shue?" Artie spoke. His words were sullen and heavy. "Coach Sylvester is one of the judges. She's gonna crush us."

The mention of Coach Sylvester sent me leaping from my chair and towards the box of pizza. I need to keep busy to keep myself from crying. I can't sit here and listen to how _that _woman has so much power and control over my reputation and my future.

Mr. Shue spoke. "Artie, you don't know that."

_Yes he does, because I told him. _"Yes , we do." The words came out because I was both annoyed and on the verge of tears. It was frustrating to listen to Mr. Shue give us a false sense of hope. Brittany doesn't need that…she's too optimistic, and I don't want to see her any more upset. And I need to distract myself, say something, before I become too upset. But my words were shaky and heavy just like Artie's. "She told us at _Cheerios _practice." I walked back towards my seat and realized that I had forgotten to grab a piece of pizza.

"Yeah. She said, _I'm going to crush Glee Club." _Brittany said in a monotone. It was the first time she'd spoken since she asked me what flavor of Capri Sun I had wanted a few hours ago at her house. Her voice relaxed me a little. Knowing that she wasn't too depressed for words was a good thing.

"A whole freaking year. All that hard work for nothing." Puck mumbled. His honesty and disappointment took me back a little. He's the one that I thought wouldn't care. He never cares about stuff. At least, he pretends not to care.

Tina sniffled from the couch and took in two soft and shaky breaths. _She was crying. _

I held my own breath.

"I'm sorry." She apologized once she realized everyone was looking at her. She struggled to speak through her staccato gasps. "I just really love you guys."

My vision blurred. Terrified tears hung on desperately.

"You know how many Facebook friends I had before I joined Glee Club?" Tina continued. I let out a small laugh, remembering how excited Brittany got when she found someone else to add to her friend list. "Two. My parents." I let out another muted laugh when I remembered Brittany got even more excited at the thought of adding her parents. "Rachel was right. Being part of something special it made me special. I just can't believe it's gonna be over in a week."

"Wait." Finn sat up. He'd been resting on the couch's armest next to Rachel. His sanguinity quickly snapped me back from that slow sinking feeling. "Who says it's gonna be over?" Just listening to him speak was enough to let me put on my bitch façade.

"Please." Mercedes rolled her eyes. Thank goodness she was on the same page as me. "You think Puck and Santana are gonna even acknowledge my existence once we're not in Glee Club together anymore?" Mercedes made brief eye contact with me when she said my name.

_Wait? What? Why am I put in the same category as Puck? _…Wait…That's a good thing right? No. No it's not. Mercedes and I are friends. I think. She helped me once, at Mark's party. And she came over and helped with Britt's cooking show. But, she didn't say Britt's name just now. She just said me…

"She has a point." Puck's voice was soft and barely audible underneath Tina's sobs.

That film of tears coated my eyes again. _That hurt. _I'm not an open person, but I thought we had made a connection. I thought she kind of cared about me.

Brittany's hand pinched my knee. I jerked my eyes down to her fingers. I wanted to follow my eyes up her arm. Up her forearm, past her elbow, over her bicep, and finally make eye contact, but that was probably a bad idea. A horrible idea. I'd start crying and I'd look like a lunatic if I started crying. A crazy bi-polar, loony.

"Mr. Shuester?" Rachel sniffled. "Do you think instead of nominating songs," she forced back a cry, "We can just all go around the room and talk about things that we loved about Glee Club this year?" Her voice gradually swelled into a sob and cracked.

I carefully surveyed the room. I kept my head down, peeked through my eyelashes and noticed everyone else's eyes were still down. When I reached Mr. Shue, he was nearly in tears. His lips were tightly pinched and his jaw was clenched. Before he saw me I forced my eyes away and back down to my lap. Brittany's hand still squeezed my thigh. Her thumb pressed into the outside of my knee and her fingers tickled the crease on the inside where my leg was bent.

The gesture was completely innocent. Not even I thought twice about it being suggestive. _But after Glee Club is over, am I going to have to worry about that again? _Her innocent touch is only innocent because of our setting. With other people around, it'll be like starting all over with our comfort level. _Will non-glee clubbers question something as innocent as Brittany comforting me? _

"I liked those parachute pants." Brittany seemed to have taken Rachel's suggestion literally. "They kind of made me feel like a genie."

Nobody responded to this, but I remembered what she was talking about. After the whole _Glist _thing, she and a few of the others danced in the library. I even went and watched her perform that Sunday at the librarian's church. That Sunday she had offered to take me out to breakfast, so I reluctantly agreed to go. _That's a lie. _I would have gone without the breakfast offer.

Her thumb stroking faltered. I knew the genie comment was something to lighten the mood, but nobody had seemed to react to it the way she had planned. With her hand resting motionless on my knee, I folded my own hands and laid them on top of it. Her fingers were hot underneath my palm.

The instant I reciprocated her touch, I felt her body quiver. And it wasn't that _pleasure-quiver _that I've grown passionately addicted to. It was that quiver that I've always felt. The one that reminds me of how close we are, and have been for quite some time. It was that quiver that told me that she needed me, that she wanted my comfort, and that she was breaking apart. It was that quiver I'd felt after she admitted to sleeping with all those guys, and broke down in tattered sobs inside my car. It was that quiver that had made me call Quinn and coerce her into joining Glee Club.

That's what I need to do. I need to cheer Brittany up. I can do that. I'm good at that. Plus, it'll distract me and keep me from freaking out.

I hooked all ten of my fingers around her hand and squeezed softly. When she looked up at me I lifted the corner of my mouth and smiled.

She returned the smile, but her lips fell flat, her eyes were heavy. The next second her lips tucked in and her shoulders sagged.

_Please don't cry Britt._

"We can't just give up guys." Finn returned with his pathetically annoying hopefulness. "Coach Sylvester isn't the only judge. We'll just have to work to impress the others."

I felt like standing up, elbowing him in the throat, and then either backhanding him or kneeing him in the groin (depending on how my previous blows affected him). We didn't need false hope, Brittany didn't need it.

"Well obviously you have no clue how influential she is Finn or you wouldn't say that. So shut the hell up." I snapped at him. "It's pathetic the way you talk. You're like a little golden retriever that hopes nobody will find it boring after it grows up from being a puppy. You just don't get it."

"Santana." Mr. Shue tried to interject and stop me.

"It's true." Puck nodded.

His encouragement sent me into another whirlwind. "Mmmhmm. Do we all remember when Finn thought he got Quinn pregnant." Puckerman instantly retracted, sunk into his seat, and I could tell I'd lost all of his support. But that didn't stop me. "You're," I gritted my teeth and squeezed Brittany's hand harder. "Uhg," I was frustrated that I couldn't find the proper word. I didn't want to say naïve, because Brittany was naïve. Naïve is innocent and sweet. It isn't Finn.

"Enough." Mr. Shue stepped in again. "We need to work together. This isn't going to help anything."

I squeezed Brittany's hand even tighter and laced the fingers on my left hand with hers. I used my other hand and cuffed her wrist.

"I," Rachel spoke up. Her voice was still shaky. "Santana may have a point. We can't get our hopes up." She stood up and flattened the folds and scrunches in her clothing. "I'm heading out. My dads are expecting me. Mercedes," She looked at Mercedes. "Kurt," She turned toward him. "You guys ready?"

Mercedes and Kurt exchanged a glance before turning to Mr. Shue.

"I guess." Mercedes shrugged. "She's our ride Mr. Shue."

He just nodded.

The three of them quietly left.

"Well Britts and I are gonna bounce. If Berry isn't here then it's probably embarrassing that I am." I tried to use the words to defend myself, but when nobody seemed to take offense I felt guilty. They'd either grown accustomed to my bitchiness or they knew I didn't mean it. "We're meeting tomorrow right?" I directed my question towards Mr. Shue.

He nodded.

"Okay," A heavy and suffocated sigh crawled up my throat. "Let's go Britt." I stood up, and as I did my fingers searched over the top of her hand until I was able to hook my pinky around hers. I squeezed tightly and she stood up with me.

"Bye guys." She waved with her free hand.

"Bye." Everyone still there mumbled in unison.

On that depressing note I led her out of Mr. Shuester's living room and out the front door. We wound through the apartment complex halls, took the stairs, and finally stepped out into the parking lot.

Our quick pace immediately decelerated into a saunter. Now that we were out of the building, we didn't really have anywhere to rush to, or away from.

"I'm hungry Santana." Brittany stopped. She snapped her pinky away from mine and clasped her hands in front of her. "I wanted pizza."

_You should have grabbed some. _Those were the words that I would have said to someone else. But not her, not now. Instead I felt guilty for dragging her away. "I thought you wanted to leave." I copied her and clasped my own hands. It was true. Britt doesn't like being sad, and she doesn't like drowning in that kind of atmosphere. "We can go back." Those words dug into my stomach as I said them. I didn't want to go back, especially after I'd made such a big scene. Crawling back would completely destroy me. But I'd do it if she wanted to. Hell, I'd come up with something clever enough to keep a pathetic unraveling thread hooked around my reputation.

She shook her head _no_ and shuffled her feet. That's when I noticed we were standing in bark shavings and next to a baby tree held up by wooden planks and rope. She kicked, pinched, and flipped a piece of bark in between her feet until it was balancing on the toe of her white cheer shoe.

"We can go get pizza?" I suggested. That gnawing guilt was still digging into my stomach.

She shrugged.

I started to look around, as if the surroundings would give me some sort of answer. I was desperate. I needed a way to cheer her up. _Think, think, think. _My car was parked a few parking spots away next to Puckerman's car and an empty spot where Rachel's car used to be. A shovel was stuck into the bark across the lot, right next to an overturned wheelbarrow.

"What about Breadstix? We'll just eat unlimited breadsticks, drink water, and share a slice of cheesecake. It'll cost us like two bucks."

She smiled, and not that reserved and sunken smile she gave inside of Mr. Shue's apartment. It was a sheepish and agreeing smile.

"Perfect." I said and reached for her hand. This time instead of linking my pinky with hers, I linked all of my fingers with hers. It seemed to take her by surprise and allowed me to pull her along. "And," I looked over at the wheelbarrow for a second time, "I have an excellent idea."

We hoped out of the bark and onto the pavement. When we reached my car, she rounded to the passenger side and I opened the driver door. "We're gonna need that," I pointed to the rusted wheelbarrow behind us. "It should fit in the back seat I think."

Brittany raised an eyebrow, but didn't really question me any further. I'm sure from experience she's learned that my off-the-wall ideas usually turn out to be kind of fun and adventurous. Or maybe, since her last _idea _turned out to be so _climactic _then this one probably would too. Of course, my plan didn't really involve something we'd do without clothes on, but that doesn't mean I can't work it in somehow.

I felt my face cringe at my next thought. Bare skin inside that wheelbarrow…God I hope I'm up-to-date on my tetanus shots.

"What's wrong?" Brittany asked over the roof of my car.

I snapped my attention back towards her. "Oh," the thought washed away quickly. "Just thinking." I paused and decided to redirect the conversation. "I'll just back up to it, so we don't have to carry it that far."

"Can't we just wheel it…?" Brittany asked.

Two approaching and slapping feet interrupted. I spun around and saw Puckerman jogging up to us. "Hey," He said breathless. "Glad I caught you guys." He stopped. "I'm having a party at my place. My mom just called and said she was gonna be out of town." _Translation: I wanna get drunk and fuck you. _"So just head that way whenever."

"What about your baby mamma?" I looked him up and down. The question held so many meanings that I couldn't even begin to count. _Won't Quinn be mad? So you're still trying to get with me after you were being secretive at the diner this morning? What about what happened last time we tried to do something and I bailed on you? _

Apparently he didn't care. "Girl please." He scoffed. "Yeah she's my baby's mamma, but that doesn't mean shit, and it doesn't mean I can't party." When I didn't answer he began to question. "What, you have some prior commitment keeping you?" He raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"What?" The word came out a little too loud, and a little too defensive. "No." That's a little more controlled. "I have plans with Britt. And we have school tomorrow." I turned and looked over at Brittany and her puppy dog eyes.

"Well _hussy_ your plans on over to my place. I'm sure I'll find some way to make it up to you." This time it was his turn to check me out. And still, after everything with Brittany, that look from him shook my knees. It was nothing compared to what Brittany did to me, but Puckerman still was a hell of a sweet talker.

"Whatever." _Yes. _"We might stop by if we have time." _We'll stop by after dinner. _"You better have good alcohol there."

I dropped down in the car and slammed the door on him. Brittany followed and closed her door with a little less _umph_.

Puckerman walked in front of my car and hoped into his own.

"Did you want to go?" I finally asked Brittany. Her response was the deciding factor. But I knew she wouldn't want to pass up the opportunity. She was too much of a people person, too outgoing. It's not that she never says no, but she just never wants to say no to an invitation.

"Yeah sure."

**xxxXXXxxXXXxxx**

We sat ourselves in a secluded booth. It was the same booth we had been in on our date with Finn. We even sat on the same side of the table. Something we've always done, probably because we're so used to sitting beside each other. Besides, it made it way easier to share the marinara sauce.

"Do you really think we won't win?" Brittany asked me.

"I think that Sue thinks that." I shrugged. "Maybe."

"Would we have won a ring? Like in football?" She stabbed her breadstick into the bowl of marinara. It clanked against the ceramic. "Rachel should wear it, because that whispering eye probably has the least affect on her if she's the one related to Frodo."

"I think just a trophy." A smile snuck up and caught my lips. Brittany _always _knew how to make me smile, whether she was serious or not. Breadstix was my way of cheering her up, but that doesn't mean I was completely cheerful myself. In fact, the exact opposite. "Whispering eye?"

She shrugged and I saw that same sneaky smile catch her lips. Of course she knew what she was implying.

"You like Glee right?" She asked the question without looking up. It was a question that came out as more of a statement. Probably because she already knew my answer.

"Yeah. I guess. It's fun." I admitted to her. The only one I'd ever admit that to, and not follow it by a distracting insult.

"So what are we going to do next year?" A deafening crunched echoed from her teeth as she bit the marinara coated breadstick.

"P.E. We did that before we joined Glee. It'll practically give us a free period." I reached and grabbed the last breadstick.

"I don't want to join P.E." Brittany pouted. "Everyone always made me play basketball because I'm tall." Her mouth was full of the brittle bread.

"P.E. _is_ lame compared to Glee." I responded.

"I just didn't get that _hand in the cookie jar_ thing. Why would I only put one hand in when I'm trying to grab cookies?" She dragged the back of her hand across her lips and swept away escaping crumbs.

"Hmm?" Her explanation didn't quite register. I just wasn't on my _A_ game tonight. "You want cookies?"

"Well, yes." She shrugged and stuffed the rest of her breadstick into her mouth. "That's always true."

"Instead of cheesecake?" My mind was starting to muddle. My thoughts weren't coherent. I was exhausted. I needed alcohol and sleep.

"I could eat a cheesecake." She swallowed what was in her mouth and a flash of pain crossed her face, meaning she hadn't chewed the breadstick thoroughly. "Owe."

"Hey." I called towards a passing waitress. She took two steps, slowed, and reluctantly turned toward us. "Can you bring us our cheesecake now?" I plastered on an annoyed, _you better hurry or I'll make a scene, _fake smile. "And we gots places to be so bring it in a to-go box or whatever."

The waitress turned without responding.

"Oh." I remembered something. I glanced over my shoulder and noticed the wheelbarrow was still empty. "You need to fill that up still. And don't put the breadsticks against the bare metal, because it's not clean and I have no clue what was hauled around in it before."

I turned to Brittany. Her eyes were wide and gawking at the wheelbarrow. "You can just put them in those little basket things right?" She looked up at the waitress. "Or line the wheelbarrow with toilet paper. I do that to toilet seats before I pee." She took a second to think.

When Brittany looked to me I nodded and shot my gaze back towards the waitress. "Run along." I waved and gestured for her to turn around and leave us.

Brittany started to chew on the straw inside her empty water glass. "I hope she doesn't use the toilet seat liners. They have holes in them." Brittany said.

The waitress returned before I had a chance to respond to Brittany.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to fill your…_wheelbarrow." _She hissed the last word, but quickly retracted when I whipped a dangerous look at her. "The breadsticks are for dine-in customers only."

"Are you for real right now lady?" I straightened my back. Brittany pulled her teeth away from her straw. "What the hell do you think we're doing right now?"

She glanced around the restaurant at the on looking customers before responding. And when she spoke her voice was noticeably softer. "You can eat as many breadsticks as you'd like while you're dining in, but they're not something you can take with you."

Brittany started to suck on her bottom lip.

I laughed. I felt all of my anger, frustration, and disappointment from today building up. "Okay." I nodded at her and smiled. A smile that highlighted all of my hidden agendas and sent her turning on her heel and back to the kitchen.

"So, no breadsticks." Brittany returned to chewing on her straw. "That's okay I guess." She didn't look too disappointed and I could tell she was trying her best to diffuse the situation.

All of my anger evaporated. _If she wasn't upset about the breadsticks, then why was I?_ The whole point of this trip was to cheer her up.

**xxxXXXXXXxxxXXXxXX**

When I parked my car outside of Puckerman's house I was a little shocked by how many people were at already here. Literally less than two hours ago he found out he was going to have the house to himself, and now cars were lined up down the street and his house looked packed. _Excellent. _

I waited for Brittany to walk around the car, linked pinkies with her _again_, and started across the front lawn.

"Wouldn't that be cool if people had to sing every time they wanted someone to teach them something?" Brittany spoke loudly over the song.

I turned to her and raised both eyebrows. Before I responded I gave myself a second to process, but the only thing I could hear was the pounding rap song resounding throughout Puckerman's house, and squeezing out the cracked front door. _Teach Me How To Dougie. _

"Oh." I laughed a little.

"Like I can totally see Rachel doing that. _Teach me how to stalk Finn._" Brittany sang along with the song, but changed the ending.

We stepped up onto the front porch and by now the music was way too loud for me to respond. So I just turned to her and grinned. I think she was now beating me with regards to the Rachel insult generator marathon. I'll have to think of a few clever things by the end of the night if I want to keep things competitive.

I pushed open the front door and the music swallowed my ears. It was way louder than last time I'd been here with Brittany. My stomach turned at that thought, and it turned again when I figured I'd have to lean even further into her ear when I spoke this time.

_Wait. Holy shit. Why didn't I think of this before? With everything that has happened between me and Brittany what was going to happen tonight?_ One of the last time we had been drunk around each other, I took a body shot off of her, I acted jealously overprotective about guys around her, I nearly cried when she walked out of the bathroom with Mark, and we almost kissed in her bedroom. This was all pre-_everything. _And then the most recent time we had sex in Mark's pool and I turned into a mute drunk. _How the hell am I going to control myself now? _

My pulse started to thunder and my nerves began to prickle. It felt like my entire body had fallen asleep and someone was trying to wake me up by sticking me with millions of little needles. I couldn't decide if I was more excited, nervous, or terrified of what was going to happen between us. Alcohol tends to blur that line between private and public emotions.

But maybe nothing would happen. Maybe we'd just get a little drunk, head back to my place, and fall asleep.

"Yeah right…" I said this out loud.

Brittany must have seen my lips move, because she leaned into me. Her words tickled the folds of my ear as her voice slipped across my hypersensitive skin. "What'd you say?"

She held her lips close just for a second longer. A second longer than a friend usually would. And then she pulled back. To anyone else, it looked like she was still talking to me. But the instant I felt her breath tease me and I knew what she was planning for tonight.

And the plan seemed so simple. Get drunk. Hang out. And flirt. The flirting part was easy. The lingering touches were simple. People were drunk. They wouldn't notice Brittany brushing her hand across my thigh, or think twice about her lips touching my neck when she had to lean in to whisper something. And, even better, if they did notice…we could just claim to be drunk ourselves.

I hated playing that card. The "drunken bi-curious" card, but it sure as hell made things a little less stressful.

_So then why am I nervous?_ _Why is my pulse snapping inside my neck? Why are butterflies crawling inside my skin? _

Because those touches might go too far…I'm not exactly reserved when it comes to my drunken-desires. And Brittany definitely isn't shy about undressing after a few beers.

I leaned into Brittany, pushed my lips into her ear lobe, and slid my cheek against the back of her jaw line. "Let's grab a beer."

Her hand twisted out of my pinkie and she wrapped her fist around the ends of my fingers. She clenched and squished my fingers together and started to pull me through the crowd.

We passed a few _Cheerios_, and I smiled a haphazard hello towards them. It was different now that I was head cheerleader. I had to actually acknowledge the girls below me, well…because everyone was below me. If I ignored most of the girls, like I did when Quinn was head cheerleader, I'd have a pretty pissed off and lost squad of girls on my hands. And I'm pretty sure Sue wouldn't approve.

I shook the thought of Sue from my mind. Tonight was about alcohol, and about forgetting.

The kitchen was a little quieter. Stifled might be the appropriate word. I looked over towards the counter where Karofsky had poured me shots that night a few months ago, I looked over to the hallway where the bathroom was, and finally I looked over at Brittany.

She was waiting for me to decide where to go.

A letterman's jacket stepped in front of us. I looked into the face it belonged to. Mark. "Hey Brittany." He looked over to me. "Santana."

_Shit. _

He continued. "I haven't seen you girls out in awhile."

"Yeah, well we've been busy with cheer. And with winning. Something you and the football team aren't familiar with."

"Yeah…" I could see him searching for a response.

I didn't have time to dance around Mark tonight. I wasn't going to deal with his awkward flirting with Brittany, and his awkwardness around me (ever since I did whatever I did with him in the back of his truck).

"Hey girls." Matt stepped up. "Looks like you guys have the same plan as me." He held up and toasted his beer. "Except you're not drinking?" He questioned when he must have noticed we weren't carrying any alcohol.

"Just got here." I responded, noticeably nicer.

Mark looked offended.

"Well grab whatever you want out of the fridge." He turned and pointed to the refrigerator. "And there's vodka over on the counter that I brought. You can have as much as you'd like."

"When me and Santana took vodka from her house we just refilled it with water." Brittany said between everyone. Her hand squeezed tighter around my fingers, reminding me that she was still holding on. "But then her mom never bought it again, because she said it tasted gross."

Matt didn't skip a beat. He'd grown accustomed to her remarks. "Yeah. I've done that before." He folded his arms and smiled. "Vodka is already gross though."

"Totally." Brittany agreed.

"Cool. Well, see you guys around. Or I'll just see you in rehearsal tomorrow." Matt turned and headed back out into the jammed living room.

The instant he was gone I bumped and nudged Brittany towards the counter before Mark said something. Luckily he didn't follow us over. I lifted both hands up to the counter, and her fist that was clenched around my fingers slipped out. She placed her palms flat against the counter and watched me unscrew the vodka bottle.

"Did you want this Britt?" I moved the uncapped bottle underneath my nose and sniffed defensively. The alcohol was cool at first, but quickly stung like gasoline. Distilled vapors flooded my nose and shoved through my tear ducts. "Holy shit!" I coughed and snapped the bottle away from my nose. "That smells fucking _delicious_." I held my breath at the roof of my mouth, knowing that was the best way to keep the gag-worthy smell from penetrating my throat. "Gross." I set the bottle down.

Brittany wired an overdramatic frown across her face. The corner of her lips seeped downward and her eyes went wide, as if she were empathizing with me. "Good thing we're not Russian." She pulled the corner of her mouth up and pinched her lips tightly together. "Drink it fast." She shrugged.

I drifted the bottle back towards my lips, but the instant the smell caught my throat I had to stifle another gag. Vodka wasn't my thing. Tequila was. I needed Tequila. "I can't Britt." I set the plastic _Monarch _bottle on the counter. "You can if you want, but I'm gonna find us something a little more expensive."

Brittany shifted her eyes back and forth between me and the bottle. It was obvious that she was trying to decide if it was worth it. The vodka _was _sitting right in front of her…

"I can just pour it in a shot glass or something." Brittany pulled open a cupboard to reveal a row of blue plastic cups. No shot glasses. I looked up at the top shelf, the shelf that was out of our reach, and the shelf that Karofsky had to reach for last time.

Brittany grabbed one of the blue cups, turned the vodka bottle over, and started pouring. It glugged once, twice, three times out of the bottle until the cup was about halfway full. Just to be safe I held my breath. She set the vodka on the counter and smiled with accomplishment. "There. Now I have a giant shot."

I knew a half horrified, half repulsed expression was covering my face, because Brittany once again frowned. "It's not _that _bad. I've drank worse. Drinked? Drunken?" Her face went slack in defeat.

I didn't even want to ask what. The only thing I could think of was when she told me she used to sit on the curb in her front yard, jab ants with her pointer finger, and then eat them. She defended herself by saying that the Lion King, more specifically Timon and Pumba, gave her the wrong impression regarding the edibility of bugs.

"Yeah," I had to speak up because someone had turned up the music. Rap was echoing and vibrating through the walls. "I bet you have." I teased her.

She rolled her eyes and started to chug the cup of vodka. Her sudden decision took me by surprise and she finished the entire cup before I had the chance to gasp properly. Her face contorted, scrunched, and her eyes squinted. She shook her head quickly, probably trying to distract herself from the taste, and her curled ponytail whipped her in the cheek. "Yucko." She groaned.

"Hey guys!" Someone spoke to us and stepped next to me. I turned and saw a girl wearing a black blouse, a tight black skirt, long laced stockings, and grey and black flats. It was Tina. "Figured you two would show up." She smiled and tapped Brittany on the shoulder with her free hand to say hello. Her other hand held a red cup. "Puck told us we could all stop by. I wasn't going to, but I figured this might be my last chance to hang out with you all."

Brittany smiled a little too big, and a little too cheesy. A subtle sign that the vodka was beginning to take its affect. "Where's your boyfriend? How'd he get inside?" Brittany peeked over my shoulder and Tina's and looked out into the living room.

"He didn't come." Tina answered.

"So you came with Mercedes?" I asked. Maybe I could redeem myself in front of them and prove that I wasn't some mute lunatic when I was drunk…and they wouldn't have to run out to my car and get me dry clothes at every party.

"She's on her way I think." Tina responded.

"So...you just showed up by yourself?" I was a little bemused by her bravery. Tina was pretty shy and reserved. Definitely not the girl who shows up to parties alone.

"Yeah." She didn't seem to understand what I was getting at. "Puck said you guys would be here."

"Oh." My face made an "o". She came because we were here. _Weird. _I wasn't used to that. I'm used to being glued at the hip to Brittany, meeting, and hooking up with guys. Not going out with my girlfriends.

"You can drink that." Brittany pointed to the vodka on the counter. "It's Matts."

Tina raised her red cup. "That's okay. I already got something." She looked down at my empty hands. "Want to try it?" She held the cup out to me. It was filled with a teal liquid and smelled distinctly familiar, tropical.

I pulled my eyes over to Brittany, who was fervently nodding her head yes and smiling like a little kid.

I was hesitant, but took the cup anyway. Nobody (well…excluding guys who were trying to get me drunk enough to have sex…and Brittany) has ever shared a drink with me. "What is it?" I smelled it again.

"Tequila and pineapple juice." Tina answered as I took a soft sip.

"Hm." It was good. "Where'd you get this?" I handed the cup back to her.

Brittany leaned in and looked into the cup. "Blue spider stuff." She leaned back before Tina offered her a drink.

"Waddup." Mercedes walked into the kitchen and called toward us. Suddenly I felt more popular than I had ever felt. People (again people not trying to fuck me) were actually acknowledging me at a party. Usually the girls just cower, hide, or make minimal eye contact. "Where's the alcohol." Mercedes stopped in front of us all.

Brittany picked up the bottle of Vodka and held it out to Mercedes. Mercedes reacted exactly like I did. She backed away repulsed. Brittany, acting offended, pulled the bottle to her chest and hugged it.

Tina turned to me, answering my question. "Puckerman has tequila in the living room. He just made me a drink. And there's a whole bunch of other stuff out there." She looked at Mercedes too.

"I'll be right back Britt." I said to her. I would have invited her but she looked content with her Vodka, and it probably isn't a good idea to load her up on too much alcohol on a school night.

I turned to Mercedes, using gestures to ask if she wanted to tag along. I felt weird saying the actual words. And it's not because I thought she was a loser, and was embarrassed to be seen with her, far from it. She recently was one of the most popular girls in school, before she quit _Cheerios. _So walking around at a party with her wouldn't harm my reputation. It just felt odd to hang out with someone other than Britt.

We walked shoulder to shoulder out of the kitchen. "Have you seen anyone else?" Mercedes yelled over the music.

"Matt." I responded. I knew she had meant, _have you seen any other glee clubbers. _

She only nodded, because the music was way too loud to talk anymore. Puckerman was against a far wall. Mercedes and I squeezed through the crowd and eventually came face to face with him. He was squinting at and trying to read the label of his _Tarantula _Tequila.

He peeked around the bottle and grinned. "Want some?" He yelled over the music, but I had to read his lips just to make sure. He made eye contact with me. His intentions blatantly written across his face. _Get Santana drunk and then fuck her. _He didn't wait for us to answer before he poured three shots.

"Sure." Mercedes said and took one of the shots.

I grabbed one, tilted my head back, and swallowed the tequila. It was extraordinarily better than that vodka could ever be and easily slid down my throat. He grabbed the glasses from us and started to refill them, ignoring Mercedes shaking her head and saying, _no thank you. _

He held out the refilled shots. The corner of my eyes peeked over to Mercedes. She was still trying to smother her gags. I grabbed both shots and downed them without skipping a beat. I set the glasses down and had to take a second to keep myself from regurgitating. I like tequila, but still…three shots in less than a minute is more than I'm used to.

Puckerman held his hand up and I high fived him, while using the back of my other hand to cover my lips. He tilted the bottle towards me and pointed at my shot glass.

This time I shook my head no. My stomach was turning a little and my mouth was watering.

I turned to look at Mercedes. Her eyes were wide and a little shocked. When I turned back to the table Puckerman was finishing up two mixed drinks that looked identical to the one Tina had let me sip. I picked up both of the drinks, handed one to Mercedes, and then started walking toward the kitchen. But Mercedes grabbed my shoulder and stopped me.

Her finger pointed to a couch across the room. Brittany was sitting on her knees on the couch cushion, animatedly waving her hands at Tina, probably telling a story. Tina threw her head back and laughed.

So we headed towards them. The music pounded my skull as I walked in front of the speaker, and thankfully died down when I reached the couch in the corner. Brittany waved at me and smiled. She scooted her knees back and left enough room for me to sit next to her, even though there was a spot on the other side of Tina.

I plopped on the couch, careful not to spill my drink. Brittany's knees dug into my left thigh, and Tina's arm pressed against my arm. Mercedes took the open spot on the other side of Tina and started to tell a story that I couldn't quite hear over the music.

Brittany's hand pressed on my knee and she leaned down into my ear. Her chest pushed into my shoulder. "What'd you get?" She leaned back, but kept her hand where it was.

I turned my face towards her, not able to reach up any further, but she leaned her ear down to my lips. "Tequila. You won't like it. But you can try it."

She leaned back and shook her head.

I laughed and took a sip of my drink. It was strong. Puckerman wasn't stingy.

I took one more sip, set my cup by my feet, and nodded for her to come back down to my lips. She did and I spoke into her ear again. This time I made it a point to brush my lips against the slits and folds on her ear. "Where's your bottle?"

She turned her head to speak into the side of my face. "I drank it all."

I pulled back in panic. But she was smiling and pointing to the bottle near my feet. She leaned back in. "Just kidding." Her hand slipped up so it was cupping the inside of my thigh.

_Shit. _

I turned to Mercedes before I pounced on Brittany and shoved my tongue down her throat. Or before I spread my legs and _dared _her to reach further up.

"Is anybody else showing up?" I had to yell, because I wasn't speaking as closely to her as I was to Brittany.

"Mike is. He just texted me asking if I was here." She held her phone up. Brittany continued to tickle my thigh, unbeknownst to anyone else. "Oh!" She looked past us. "There he is." Mercedes waved for him to join us.

Mike started walking towards the couch.

"Have a seat Mr. Chang." Mercedes said when he was close enough.

But there were no seats left. No room, unless he sat on the floor. "Where?" He asked and scanned the crowded couch once again.

Brittany's hand was driving me insane. I leapt up from the couch, startling everyone. "Take my seat. Our seat. We need to pee."

I looked down at Brittany, a devilish yet innocent smile plagued her face. She stood up too and left a barren spot for Mike. "Keep it warm." I think I heard her say.

Her hand grabbed my fingers again and we started squeezing through the crowd. I wasn't sure where she was taking me, but that didn't really matter. As long as it was private, I was okay with anything she decided.

I grazed the hallway wall with my shoulder, and just barely avoided a collision with one of the football players. But when Brittany stopped short, I couldn't help but smack into her back.

"Sorry Santana." She apologized for her abruptness. It was quieter in the hall, even quieter than the kitchen. "But look." She pointed at the bathroom. "It's occupied."

I looked up and down the hall to make sure nobody was staring, or watching us. When I was satisfied that nobody was keeping tabs on us, I nodded towards Puckerman's bedroom and started to pull her towards the open door. We darted into the room and I quickly and quietly clicked the door shut.

His lamp was on. Enough light for us, so I left the overhead light off.

"This seems dangerous." Her breath was wet. Her lips moved closer to me.

"Puckerman's got a good five beers or so before he stumbles back here." I bit my lip to keep myself from adding, _looking for me. _

"Okay." Her giggle was soft and sultry, before it broke off and her mouth pressed into mine.

Her lips were like liquid. I knew alcohol dehydrated people, but her lips were wet, provocative, tender. As if she'd been waiting for me. I curved my mouth around her bottom lip and it slipped over the pink and onto the small dimple just below her bottom lip. I tried again and held her lip in between my teeth.

"Owe." She giggled and tightly cuffed my wrists.

I let go and kissed her smile. This time I didn't take her mouth into mine, I just pushed my lips onto hers until her grin melted and her concentration refocused.

She opened her mouth first, and I echoed. The kiss was deliberate and sensual. Heavier than I can ever remember us kissing. And it was hotter than I remember. My cheeks were burning. It felt like the sun was beating down on my face and my skin was going to dissolve. I had to take a deep breath and break the kiss.

She pulled her face back only enough to examine my unexpected gasp. She looked curious and concerned, like she had done something wrong. I could only smile. _Hell no she didn't do something wrong._

Brittany continued, but didn't continue with my lips. She hushed a kiss on the corner of my mouth and pressed into my cheek. Her hand un-cuffed one of my wrists and cupped the opposite side of my face.

She was gentle. Her kisses trickled my cheek. The tip of her tongue would dip out and silently catch my skin before she kissed it. Each kiss her mouth would open a little wider and her lips would hold their kiss for a little longer. She left scolding lip prints against my skin when she pulled away and found a new spot to tease.

Her thumb ran and circled my cheekbone and her fingertips pressed into my jaw line below my ear.

The back of my knees hit the mattress. We must have moved backwards. I wanted to sit down, lie down, but I didn't want her to stop kissing my skin.

Her hand slipped down my cheek and cupped my neck. Her thumb started to trace along my jaw line. And with her hands downward progression, she started to trail her lips down my cheek until she reached the crook of my neck.

My neck was sensitive. I squirmed and pushed my body closer to hers. She held her lips in one spot and started to suck.

"Hm." I sighed and closed my eyes.

Her lips released my skin and her teeth nipped at the swollen spot on my neck. I squirmed again and groaned.

She continued to toy with my neck and I nuzzled my face closer to her. She smelled like fruity hairspray. Coconut. And her skin smelled sweet, intoxicating.

Her lips worked insistently into my neck, until my knees were too shaky to hold my weight and my head was too light to keep standing. As slowly as I could manage I sat on the edge of the bed, leading her with me. Her mouth drifted away from my skin, but she made sure to keep her lips close to my neck as she bent over me.

Without hesitating, she straddled my lap, kept her face in the crook of my neck, and pushed me back until I was flat on the bed. Puckerman's bed. _Fuck. _

"What if he walks in Britt?" I murmured in between her flicking tongue against my craned and exposed neck.

She stopped, kept bent over me, but looked back at the door. It was shut. Not locked, but shut. "We can get under the covers?" She turned back to me. Her eyes darted back and forth between my eyes and my lips. "Nobody will see us in there. It'll be like a fort."

Only Brittany could start talking about forts and still sound sexy. But that probably has to do with the fact that she's straddling me right now, and my neck is throbbing from both the assertion and absence of her sucking.

But I listened to her. I scrambled back, shoved my back against the headboard and scooted my legs underneath the comforter. Brittany took a less swift approach. She flung the comforter open, crawled towards me, and let it fall over us.

Her hands grabbed my waist and yanked me further down so the only thing I could see was the dark green blackness of the inside of Puckerman's comforter. I tried not to think of how the smell reminded me of doing it with him, and it was actually turning out pretty well thanks to Britt.

I was flat on my back. Brittany shuffled around and I heard something unzip. "It's too hot under here." She spoke inside the muffled and humid comforter. It was conforming to our bodies and leaving absolutely no room to breathe. But that wasn't really bothering me right now. I wanted to know what she had unzipped. _Her top, or her bottom?_

The fabric of her bra slipped across my shin and answered my question. My nerve endings screamed when her stomach touched the same spot on my leg her bra had just touched. And when her tongue touched the dimple inside of my knee I had to clench to keep from making a noise.

Her breathing was heavy, magnified underneath the comforter. She pressed her tongue flat against my leg and ran it up as she inched her body upward and glided her chest over my thighs. Instinctually my legs spread for her.

"Take your spankies off Santana." She told me from in between my legs. Those words from her mouth caused my stomach to wriggle and my center to clench again.

I slid my knees up, tucked them to my chest and pulled my spankies off as quickly as I could. But Brittany was too impatient; she fumbled her hands around in the heated darkness and helped me tug them off.

I'm not sure where they went after that.

I spread my legs again. Knees bent. Almost like that butterfly stretch we do in cheer for warm ups, except I was lying on my back.

Her fingers touched me first. Two of them. The two middle fingers. They were cold in comparison the intensifying heat underneath the blanket. She slid them over my folds. I knew I was wet. And now that she was actually touching my wetness, I could feel myself swell and clench even more.

She worked her fingers on me. Not quickly, but firmly. Like a soft bruise. It made my body move and grind in motion with her stroke. I rolled my hips with her rub. And each second I would twinge even more than the last from pleasure.

But she stopped the rubbing motion, put her wet fingers onto my thigh, and I felt the bed shuffle as she scooted closer. A soft breath chilled my wetness. "Fuck." I couldn't hold it in and it came out as more of a moan than anything.

Her tongue flicked over the outside of my folds, never actually searching or entering. But her finger returned. Just one. She tickled until she found my entrance and pushed it in.

My back arched and I felt myself tighten around her finger. It was probably the alcohol helping this along, but I was already reaching my peak. I felt like I was boiling, getting hotter and hotter.

Something warm and moist slipped in with her finger. Her tongue. In response my legs closed a little and pressed against her cheeks.

She shoved her tongue in further, pulled it out, and found my clit with her lips.

She sucked. She sucked like she had sucked my neck. Soft at first, grazed with her teeth, flicked her tongue out and returned with her lips. And then she sucked harder.

That hot feeling started from the spot her lips were at, shook my legs, made my body go rigid, and my breath falter. A throb echoed inside my body, until I fell limp. It's when I stopped trembling that I noticed I'd let out a ragged groan. My coarse breath returned and Brittany pulled her lips away.

I wanted to pull the blanket off of my face, to allow myself to breathe the cool air, but no way in hell was I going to risk someone walking in and seeing me like this. I could feel the flush in my face, my chest was heaving, and my legs were still tingly. And looking like this, I don't know how well I could _explain _Brittany being in the place she was.

Her hand grabbed my ankle and she pulled my foot through the leg-hole of my spankies. She did the same with my other foot, careful not to catch my sneakers on the red elastic.

_Thud!_

A loud crack smacked the walls. I jolted up, flipped the comforter off of my head, and felt my knee connect with something hard.

Before the person who slammed the door open had a chance to even look in our direction, I was already off the bed, and standing up with my spankies completely adjusted.

I turned back to Brittany. My reaction was all one fluid motion, but now that it had stopped I could counter-react.

The comforter was hanging halfway off the bed, and Brittany was kneeling in the middle of the mattress, wearing just her bra and her cheer skirt, with her hand over her nose.

"Hey what happened?" A familiar voice spoke from behind me. It was Mercedes.

I crawled back on the bed and sat on my knees next to Brittany. "I'm so sorry." My stomach knotted. "Are you okay Britt. Let me see." I grabbed her wrist and pulled her hands away from her face.

Her nose was red. Not bleeding, but a healthy puffy pink. And her eyes were watering. I could tell she was fighting back the urge to let them freely pour.

"Is it gushing?" Brittany tried to reach her hand back up and touch her nose, but I gently pushed it back down.

"No. No blood." I informed her.

"Whoa," another voice spoke. This time it was a male voice. "Dude. What happened to you?" Puckerman walked over and stood behind me on the bed. I turned around and saw both him and Mercedes gawking at Brittany.

"Nothing. It's fine." I tried to shove away their concerns. "I got it."

"Where's your top Brittany?" Mercedes finally questioned the obvious.

"No it's totally cool." Puck answered for me. "Britt always loses her clothes. That's nothing abnormal. But she usually doesn't get racked in the nose." He shuffled around, probably trying to get a better view.

I was already turned back to Brittany. I twisted her chin to get different angles of her nose.

"Want me to grab some ice?" Puckerman offered. "You guys just wait right here." He started to turn and leave.

"No." I stopped him. "No." I didn't want to be in his room any longer. Not after what me and Britt did in his bed. I felt like we could still get caught. "We'll go to the bathroom. Have Mercedes bring in the ice. You're room smells like the place where whales swim off to go die."

Brittany snickered, but grimaced in pain and stopped.

I stood up, grabbed her hand, and guided her off the bed. My hand rested on the middle of her back and I directed her past Mercedes, past Puckerman, and out of his bedroom. The bathroom was just a few feet away and thankfully it was empty.

First, I let Brittany walk in. And then I reached my hand in, flicked the light on, and stepped in myself. I patted the counter and signaled for her to hop up on it. She did. Easily. Athletically. She always made things like that look like a piece of cake.

I was about to shut the door, when I remembered Mercedes was coming with ice. "I'm so sorry Britt. I didn't mean to hit you." Her sports bra caught my attention, and then her toned stomach caught my attention. I still wasn't entirely over my recent climax. I wanted to touch her, make her feel what I did…

"It's okay." Brittany responded and pulled my focus back up to her nose. "I've hit you loads of times in cheer." She responded. "On accident." She added.

And I sighed when I felt the sincerity.

"Yeah I know, but…" I was going to say _this is different, _but stopped myself. _It wasn't really different was it?_ I don't know. I guess it _was_ an accident.

"It's okay I promise." She reached toward my face and brushed her thumb against my cheek. I didn't know I was crying until I saw a tear fall down and pool in the webbing between her thumb and her pointer finger.

_Fuck. Shit. _Stop crying idiot. I'm supposed to take care of her.

"Got it." Mercedes walked in and I snatched the ice from her. The cubes were in a zip lock baggie, and the baggie was scrunched up in a maroon kitchen towel.

I walked over to Britt and carefully rested the ice against her nose. I didn't let go until her hands were holding it in the exact spot it needed to be.

I'd forgotten Mercedes was in the bathroom until she spoke again. "Want a ride home? I can pick you up before school to get your car."

"Sure." I agreed.

The party wasn't really over, but I was ready to go. And I could tell Brittany was ready to go. Not because her eyes were watering from a nose injury, but because her eyes looked tired. She looked tired. Worn out. We'd had a long day. A long, depressing, overwhelming day. I grabbed her cheer top and we left the party.

The car ride home was long. I'd been sitting for only five minutes and it felt like five years. Brittany was in the front. I was in the back. I figured it was a little rude for both me and Britt to sit in the back, and I figured Brittany should have the front. Plus, she called shotgun.

I was silent during the ride. I just didn't have anything to say that didn't involve and apology for kneeing Brittany in the nose. And I was worried that if I brought it up again, Mercedes might ask _how _Brittany hurt her nose.

But they talked. Mercedes and Brittany. Usually on car rides home, Brittany was too tired to talk, but I think she was just making it a point to show me that she was fine.

They were talking about her cat, I think. "Yeah. Lord Tubbington is quite the little nipper. Tongue like sandpaper. Teeth like machetes."

"Do you ever think about getting an animal that's a little less," Mercedes paused to find the right word. "Reliant on people."

"I used to have a turtle. Gavin." Brittany started.

But Mercedes interrupted her. "Wait. So you named your cat Lord Tubbington and your turtle Gavin?"

"Totally. I was going to name him Muff, but Santana told me that wasn't a good name." Brittany shrugged. "But Gavin got lost too easily. So I'd just put him on the fence post to keep him from crawling away. My parents told me that was bad and took him back to the pet store."

Mercedes just nodded in response. I pressed my head against the window and closed my eyes. It was cold and my face still felt like it was on fire. The car was silent for a few minutes, excluding the humming from the tires, and the _whishing_ of passing cars.

"You guys pumped for regionals?" I opened my eyes to see Mercedes looking at me through the rear view mirror.

"Hm." I felt obligated to respond, but didn't feel obligated to lie. My _hm _held no enthusiasm and held no truth.

"I'm looking forward to the bus ride. They always remind me of Ms. Frizzle's crazy shenanigans." Brittany continued.

The car slowed and pulled up a small hill. I opened my eyes and saw we were at my house. The porch light was off, no lights were on, and I'm guessing it'll be a safe sneaking in. "See you tomorrow." I called towards Mercedes as I opened, hopped out, and shut the door.

Brittany waved goodbye and we walked up to my porch.

Neither of us talked while we got ready for bed. Not because it was awkward, but because we were tired. She crawled in first and left the blanket open for me. I crawled in. I didn't even expend the extra effort it would have taken to shut off my lamps.

And before I had the chance to scoot any closer, she nuzzled into my neck. Her hands clenched onto my tank top and her lips stopped on my collarbone. "We're gonna need spoons." Brittany spoke into my skin. Her speech was groggy.

I assumed she was sleep talking, but I answered anyway. "Spoons? For what?" Now I closed my eyes.

"You're neck. There's hickeys." She spoke again, even slower, softer, and more incoherent.

But I was too tired to freak out. Spoons will have to wait until tomorrow. And I'll just load up on the cover-up. _I wonder if Mercedes saw? _Shit…_If Puckerman saw? _

Again I was too tired to freak out. I was at my freaking out limit. My body softened and I fell asleep before I answered her.

**xxXXXXXxXXXXxxxX**

_**After Regionals…**_

Even though I sang my heart out, crossed my fingers that we would win, Quinn had her baby, held Brittany's hand when the winners were being announced, sang a song to Mr. Shue after we lost and cried while doing so…I was still sitting here with my heart broken. I'd never done so many momentous things in such a short amount of time, and it was all for nothing. I'd even gone as far as admitting to Mr. Shue and everyone else in Glee that I hated them when we started. Now that wasn't true. And I don't want to know what next year is going to mean without them.

I kept my pinky to myself. If this is the last rehearsal then I'm going to need to get used to it. I sat in the top corner with Britt. Everyone had their heads down, waiting for Mr. Shue to give us _the speech. _The speech about how we are all so talented, blah blah blah.

"We've got another year." He broke the silence.

My stomach flipped and my eyes looked up to see if I was just imagining what he said, or if a genuine look on his face accompanied the good news.

I turned to Brittany. Her mouth was dropped open. My hand shot for hers. Everyone shot up and started jumping. And when Brittany and I jumped up I made sure to link pinkies with her. I could feel a huge dorky smile smear across my face. I was jumping like a dorky jumping bean, hugging Brittany, and making little cheering noises.

"Okay," Rachel spoke up in front of everyone. "You guys, I think this is the perfect opportunity for us to start rehearsing for next year's sectionals immediately-,"

Mr. Shue interrupted her and started to lead her back to her seat. "You guys. You've all worked really hard this year. You deserve a break. Take the summer off. Have some fun." He ordered us. "Oh, but before you go I have something for you." He walked over and opened the ukulele case on the piano. "You all sang for me the other day so today I'd like to return the favor. Puck," he waved for him to join him. "If you're ready."

They started playing _Somewhere over the Rainbow._

Now I was sitting down, smile still beaming on my face, and held my pinkie up for Brittany. I laughed when she mouthed something cute to me, and pulled her hand down to my lap.

**xxxxxxXXX**

**A/N: Keep an eye out for S2 MBF ;) and leave me a last review for this! **


End file.
